The following weeks are no easier. I'm supposed to have my whole life planned out since high school has ended, but I have no clue. I feel empty, dazed, confused, angry, sad, and terrified all at once.

Ray isn't here anymore.

I've only just gotten over the shock.

He isn't here.

He won't ever be again.

And that's terrifying.

Now that he's gone, I'm realizing just how much I really needed him. I relied on him so much. He made my year the most memorable one. He turned it around for me.

Why can't good things last?

Everything I look at reminds me of him, and brings memories to mind. It feels like I can never let him go. I'll never get over this feeling of grief. No matter how many people tell me that it'll be okay, what do they know?

My days are usually spent in my room, sleeping or reading. If I do happen to come out of my bed, it's because Jacob or Jack dragged me out.

Jack comes over every other day to hang out with me. I'm not sure why he stays around, since I'm such a mess. I'll never be able to answer the question, but I'm grateful.

*****

"Jordan, we are not spending another day doing nothing," Jack says, leaning against my door.

"Why not?" I grunt.

"You're so difficult," Jack facepalms.

"You're annoying."

"Get up."

"Get out."

"No."

"Yes."

"Let's have fun."

"I've never learned how."

"I can teach you."

"Lame."

"I want to do something memorable."

"Kick a baby. Then you'll be in jail and have plenty of time to remember that memorable moment."

"Ha, ha. I'm serious."

"We don't have to go to Uruguay and parasail to have a memorable day. Some of my dreams when I sleep are pretty memorable," I comment.

"Gosh, Jordan. You're so lazy, it's amusing."

"Never thought a girl could be lazy, huh?" I quirk an eyebrow.

"Nah, I just pinpointed you as the get-up-at-the-crack-of-dawn-ready-to-work type of girl..." Jack says.

"That's rude."

"Some people would take it as a compliment."

"Not me."

"What can we dooo?" Jack groans.

"There's always a coloring book," I suggest dully.

"No, that's lame," Jack scrunches his nose.

"I, for one, happen to enjoy coloring," I protest half heartedly.

"Yeah? Well, we need to find something you love even more," Jack says. "I want to have fun! I've been so bored this summer."

"I'm a fairly boring person."

"How about Mario Kart? Jacob told me you're good at that game," Jack shrugs.

I immediately sit up straight in my bed, eyes wide. "Mario Kart?"

"Yes, you heard me correctly."

"Well... I haven't played in a while, so in probably a little rusty..." I tilt my head in thought.

"At least that gives me a chance to beat you," Jack laughs.

"No, not even then can you beat the master of Mario Kart. I'm afraid I'm too awesome," I place a hand over my heart solemnly.

"Prove it."

*****

"Alright, which track do you want to start on?" I ask Jack.

"Easy peasy, let's go with Yoshi Falls," Jack taps his chin.

"Fine by me," I click my remote over to the right track and press 2.

I mentally and physically prepare myself for this. I sit up straighter and hold my arms out further, eyes wide open. The numbers 3, then 2 flash on the screen. I can do this. I'm a ninja. I haven't lost my ninja skill.

1, GO!

I start out in eighth place, trying to speed ahead and get all the way to fourth, no problem. When I get a question mark box, I find three red mushrooms. So, I use them to get into second place. Jack's Yoshi is right in front of me. I hit another mystery box and get a red shell, which I throw out just at the same time Jack places a banana. And, lo and behold, the shell hits the banana.

"Aha! Take that, King Boo. More like Kind Poo, now," Jack laughs.

"Shut your face or it'll become King Poo."

Jack presses pause on the game and turns to face me. He slowly places a hand on his hip and quirks an eyebrow at me. He doesn't say a word for a moment, he just sits there and stares at me. "Did you seriously just inferably threaten to poo on my face?"

Silence.

Crickets can practically be heard in the background.

"...yes?"

Jack raises his eyebrows. Opens his mouth to say something. Closes it. Shrugs. "Okay." And he presses play.

While Jack is still recovering, I speed ahead of him. I send back the green shell I've been holding and it hits him. I laugh and press forward more, to spread out the distance between us. That's the finish line, that's the finish line!

"YES!" I stand up and point both fingers in Jack's face. "IN YO FACE GRAMMA! WHO'S THE POOEY LOSER NOW, HUH?"

Jack slowly leans away from me in his chair. "How thoughtful."

"I'm ready to go again... Choose any level, I'm warmed up," I shake out my hands.

"Alright... Wario's Gold Mine."

So, we begin, and I easily begin in first place. Everyone is behind me, battling it out, shoving each other off the cliffs and such, and I'm just happy as can be. Until stupid Jack comes and shots a red shell. He and Peach get in front of me.

With the next two laps, I use them to get myself ahead of them again, with an at least ten second lead on both.

The finish line grows nearer, and once again I cross it first.

"That's how it's done," I set my controller down, lean back, and nod my head in content.

"Well done, Miss Mario Kart," Jack nods.

"Why thank you, Yolanda Michelson," I nod curtly.

"Yolanda Michelson?" Jack raises his eyebrows at me.

"It has a nice ring to it," I smile.

"Alright, I can dig it," Jack nods.

*****

"Yo, Yolanda," I shout, "get yo face down here! Cookies are finished."

"Coming, Señorita De Francis," Jack says.

When he reaches the kitchen, I place a hand on my hip and raise my eyebrows angrily. "I am not from France, thank you very much."

"I never paid attention in Spanish. Therefore, everybody wins!" Jack says.

"Apparently you failed geometry too," I mutter under my breath.

"What?" Jack steps closer.

"Nothing," I smile. "Here, try a cookie."

"What kind?" Jack sits at the table.

"Snickerdoodle," I carry the plate to him.

"Why snickerdoodle? That's so random and lame. Peanut butter cookies are better," Jack comments, taking one off the plate.

"If you want to be picky about flavor, you go ahead and make them," I say, pursing my lips.

Silence.

"That's what I thought." And I happily take three cookies off the plate and eat them one at a time.

"So, what other magical fun things are there to do in your home?" Jack asks.

"Hmm, it's summertime, so we could go outside and do something if you want," I put a finger to my chin.

"Sure thing," Jack nods, making his way towards my back door.

"You've got a trampoline? Whoa, and a ping pong table? And a volleyball net?" Jack asks, stepping into the sun in awe. "And I never knew about this why?"

"Because you never asked," I shrug.

"Can we play?" Jack asks, pointing to the ping pong table.

I scrunch up my nose and shake my head. "I hate sports."

Jack sighs, shaking his head. "Then what lame things do you do with your life?"

"Sidewalk chalk?"

Jack eyes the bucket in my hand. "Oh, fine. Just because I'm so nice."

I start out drawing a picnic blanket covered in various fruits. Jack draws a taco. I draw a guitar with music notes on the side. Jack draws a hand turkey. I draw a snowman with a top hat. Jack draws a ceiling fan. I draw a teddy bear. Jack draws a pair of pants.

"You've got... Potential..." I comment, when observing Jack's drawings.

"And that is how a nice person says 'I hate your work, you have no talent, please throw that chalk and the sidewalk you drew on off a cliff.'"

I pull my legs into criss cross applesauce. "Well, no, not exact- Okay, yeah, fine."

Jack nods. "That's what I thought."

"Thanks for coming over today. I had fun," I smile.

"Anytime. And, surprisingly with the boring lifestyle you live, I had fun too."

"I'm glad, that means I'm not a total loser," I laugh.

"Now, now, young one, I didn't say that," Jack says.

I slap his arm.

"Kidding, kidding."