Thanks guys for coming with me on this journey! The reason I haven't posted this is cuz I was still considering writing the rest but as i look at it now it seems really infeasible seeing as it's been more than 2 years since I last published. I just wanted y'all to get some closure so here is my actual notes sheet which I used to plan colorblind in depth for over 500,000 words of this beast!

Things to focus on:

Moriarty's plot

We need to know more about James

And in his own way, mark is an antagonist. The side characters have all these feelings that definitely contribute to the story but they don't belong in the story totally yet

- john's ring, he's been wearing it the whole time

-what sherlock went back for

- the raids

- the food moriarty's supposed to be sending

argument between sherlock and john akin to brokeback??????????

We calm down, focus more on john's relationships w supporting characters, not sherlock

- james is being shipped off but no one knows except for John. What is the nature of their relationship?

his relationship with claire is irreversably damaged. she becomes more antagonistic, him less so

their arguments are characterizes by bitterness and hurt instead of desperation

- mark wants to trust him again, lets him babysit, kid is killed

- moriarty is suspicious, need 2 or 3 scenes with john double crossing them both

-all interactions with sherlock are about other characters

Use this time to build tension

Like Mark is relevant bc he's the "main antagonist" that we use to hide claire

We psyche them out by setting it up so Mark will snitch, meanwhile Claire boils quietly behind the scenes

A/N: this little part is what I was focusing on for the next three or four chapters, and when I knocked all of these off the to-do list I would switch them out with new objectives.

Ch 44 (dec 10-14)

Takes him to the schoolbus

goes to work

Picks him up

Entertains him

Sees james in the window????????????

Second day

And john is holding him rlly close and the kid is shaking bc bombs n shit

He screams but john calms him down and is extremely paternal

moriarty scene

3rd time Sherlock comes over? Talks to john about moriarty? Kid senses the gay

moriarty is the priority , talks about missile plans being developed, plan going forward, dif comntingencies he explains how things didn't end with mycroft and that they still need to finish this with moriarty

4th day 

Mark and his wife come home

Mike hugs john his soft tiny heart is filled w love

He goes home to claire and she's frosty but she asks how it was (more substantial? May be claire is starting to get used the idea that it could work)

Ch 45 (dec 16-18)

Maybe john and the family are out and about and alison goes into labor

Mark's worried that this is another miscarriage bc of how early it is

And he doesn't want mikey to be there when it goes to shit

And mark is like "he can't be alone you have to stay"

So have the kid be playing with another kid, and then john is like "stay put I'm going across the street to get you some candy"

He crosses the street, which separates them

Buses are going it's a busy saturday

And then the sirens start going off while he's still looking

what if the sirens go off while he's in there and then he has to watch the kid get hit with a car FROM THE STORE WINDOW

And he can't get to him bc people are scrambling over him and he's running in the opposite direction

if you keep my secret, i'll keep yours, alright?

imagine that phone call

Mark, Ultimate Dad, having his best friend tell him that his son is dead while he's cradling his newborn in his arms on the other side of town

mark blames John for Mike's death bc he was babysitting him at the time

ch 46 (dec 25)

When mikey dies john breaks down in front of his best friend, he doesn't wsnt to let on to sherlock how scared he really is, but they reconcile

A slient terrible christmas

Maybe sherlock comes over and that's when she finds out about him and sherlock

His father needed him to tie up loose ends with claire's dad and go to Claire's home

has a gift 

"

She invites him to stay a little longer

"I think I'm gonna make us all some food" "i heard that you're a good cook, sherlock, why don't you help me"

They go into the kitchen and start furiously whispering

"Why did you come here"

"I wasn't lying john i needed to sign papers to tie up business ends"

SHERLOCK IS THERE AND HE GREETS JOHN WITH A SMILE AND HE EXTENDS HIS HAND TO HER AND SHE CAN SMELL HIS COLOGNE AND SHE RECOGNIZES IT AND SHE KNOWS

AND THEN JOHN SEES THAT LOOK IN HER EYES, SEES HER SMILE BUT HER EYES ARE SWIMMING WITH DANGEROUS SEA CREATURES omg he kisses her hand and while his head is bent

CLAIRE LOOKS AT JOHN

AND HER EYES

ARE

ON FIRE

AND HE KNOWS HE'S DONE

H E KNOESSEDSRB

John gets in first, and he stands there with his back to Claire

Clenching and unclenching

And Claire slowly closes the door

They're silent

Finally, Claire seethes,

"It's him."

It's not a fucking question.

John clenches his fists.

"You won't turn me in."

"Why's that?"

"Because you still want children, and I'm your husband." Maybe she murmurs, "you're right"

She tells him before he tells the police "if you tell anyone I'm queer, I'll never give you those children you want" but she knows he was never going to, anyway

"Maybe we can fix you"

"WE CAN'T"

"ONLY BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO" "ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE INTENT ON GOING TO PRISON" "BECAUSE YOURE INTENT ON NOT BEING HAPPY" "WHY IS THAT"

"because I don't love you. I hate you. And I am not going to raise a child with a woman i hate. I'm not going to WASTE MY FUCKING LIFE PRETENDING TO LOVE THE WOMAN I HATE." love is blue eyes and dark hair and the sound of violins too early in the morning; love is naked flesh and uranium, explosive.

"You'd do it with him, then? You love him, and not me?"

She asks John if he's in love

And John won't answer

He'll hold her gaze

"I'm leaving you."

Claire is upset

But she's upset with herself

She failed

She couldn't make it work like she thought

And they live in the same house and share a dinner table

But now they don't talk anymore

And one night John and Claire will be laying in bed and he will roll over and look her in the eyes and say

"We never deserved this" Like, they reach an understanding the moment before it's too late

I think when she realizes that he cheated on her with a man, she will be furious

Because she put so much effort into making them work and it was absolutely impossible to begin with

And when John leaves Claire is heartbroken, but she realizes that she's not broken over them, but what could have been them

their relationship was a fantasy told by their parents

Stays the night at Harry's and that's when he tells her and he doesn't even give a shit he just tells her

"You gotta leave bristol/england john"

Explains whole thing/why he can't

chap 47 (dec 26)

Goes to sherlock at the academy, says he wants him back, he left claire

Cop spies on them

Mark sees them really close and doesn't know what to think (so does cop guy?)?

he callls him out

Tries to apologize to mark

So instead of a long winded argument, it's more like

"Watch yourself."

"Mark, are you threatening me?"

"I'm warning you."

"I think you should leave."

Sherlock and he leave together

chap 48 (dec 27?)

"Sherlock told me it's a machine gun designed to quadruple the size of a round and minimize reload time so rapid fire can be much more devastating."

"Ah" "i just want you to remember" - his voice is menacing - "if you're lying to me, it only takes a couple seconds amd a phone call to tear your life - and the lives of those u love apart"

"It's solid" "I'll have the document for you" "soon"

after john gets beaten up by a bunch of police officers and james gets so fucking mad

"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, COLLINS? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

"YOUR BOY'S A FAIRY"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE'S A FAIRY OR IF HE'S A MARTIAN OR IF HE'S JESUS BLOODY CHRIST, I'M FILING MISCONDUCT REPORTS ON ALL OF YOU."

"YEAH, PROBABLY WILL, YOU n****** LOVER."

*james's face goes dark as hell* *he walks right up to the cop*

"Collins" "you don't say that word ever again" "do you understand"

"What? ...N******?"

JAMES CLOCKS HIM LIKE HE'S A PIECE OF PAPER HE'S OUT DING DING DING

"Anyone else want to say that word to me? Bc there's a lot more where that came from."

John is radiating with pain but james helps him up and lets him lean on him as they walk to the nearest bench

He's trying to comfort him, making jokes and bein good ole james but he can see the fear in his eyes bc John is pretty fucked up

Black eye, dislocated shoulder, etc

"You're not a fairy" "it's not true"

John starts sobbing

"John, why are you-"

"It's true" "all of it"

"What do you mean, 'all of it'?"

"I mean I'm a fucking queer james" "they beat me up because I'm a queer"

"when were you gonna tell me that, john? huh? after i got shipped off? were you going to send me a letter in the mail? 'it's true; you believed in me, but i took advantage of your trust'?""'i took advantage of claire and everyone who loved me'?""when were you gonna tell me, john?!""i believed you when you lied straight to my face. you never planned to tell me the truth."

makes it personal by describing the living hell his life has been for the last few months

"I couldn't, James"

"You know I couldn't have"

But I mean at first he'll be just explaining and making excuses as James stares at him in horrified disbelief, then he'll pause, an PREGNANT PAUSE, and then he'll say "James i'm sorry"

That's what makes it so great, John asks for forgiveness and he's not forgiven

That's so much worse than plain old anger

"Now i want you to go on that bus and go home to your wife and fucking apologize etc"

"I can't do that."

leaves the next day, on john's bday

chap 49 (dec 28)

Bday chap

Sherlock is trying to be nice but John's so angry and depressed and he's beaten up lol

mrs hudson makes dinner and sherlock says something insensitive and it ruins the whole thing ugh

Talk about the plans a little

"The plant thats makin the fakes blew up hehehhshahdhdh"

I TOLD HIM TOMORROW! WHAT THE FUCK, SHERLOCK? WHAT THE FUCK???!

Discuss how everyone in town knows whats going on

"Everyone knows. Every fucking person in this town knows I'm a goddamned queer. yknow that??"

They don't need proof! They wanna crucify us! -john

Get in argument about that

Bday dinner? Sherlock yells at him to get the fuck up because all he's done all day is be nasty

And Sherlock is like "let's go out i cannot fucking take this" "right now" "let's go" And john is so exhausted and he is going to scream

So they just go somewhere and it's tense and they hate it the entire time And their relationship is super strained, too So they're eating their expensive food together and sherlock is berating john the entire time

Like honestly at that point they're stuck together because John's life is trashed I think john flips out on the date Because sherlock wants to leave him Maybe to save john and maybe to save himself

And he's just like "i told you so. maybe we should just end this before we get arrested over a stupid fling."

AND JOHN GETS SO FUCKING ANGRY BECAUSE TO HIM THIS WASN'T A STUPID FLING

HE LOST HIS FIANCEE ALL HIS FRIENDS PROBABLY HIS JOB

BUT SHERLOCK SAID THAT OUT OF ANXIETY RIGHT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO JOHN LIKE IT IS TO HIM

HE'S AT RISK OF GOING TO JAIL AND LIKE SHERLOCK HAD NO ONE TO START WITH SO IF THEY END THIS SHERLOCK WILL BE EXACTLY WHERE HE STARTED

AND JOHN WILL HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

They're eating buttered pasta for the first time since ration ended at a fancy restaurant and to john it tastes dirty maybe sherlock snaps too and leaves after causing a fucking SCENE

And when they find each other they're desperate and starving and they realize that they're all they've got in this world

"thought you'd gone home to your fiancee"

"I'm sorry"

"...shut up, john"

*sits down next to him and hugs him*

chap 50 (jan 1)

moriarty finds out and his streak of sadism pops out and yeah so his henchmen break in and almost kill mrs. Hudson so Sherlock goes down but they fuck sherlock up a lot

John wakes up and runs downstairs 

He shoots them?

Since John didn't /tell/ moriarty the info

Moriarty had to /get/ the info

Maybe THEY EVEN TAPE A NOTE TO JOHN'S DOOR

Bandages him

Kisses his forehead <3

Chap 51 (jan 2)

John goes to moriarty's place and is so mad because this is not what they agreed to

"I told you the first day we met,,,, i can always tell when people are lying to me : ))

moriarty finally catches onto the fact that john fucking loves sherlock and hes like wow ur never gonn a fukcing do shit im gonna murder you right fucking now

and john is like HEY sherlock doesnt FUCKING care and neither do i. leave us the fuck alone.

"You have two days to get the plans or ur ALL dead" "U SHERLOCK claire"

he doesnt give a shit. the world has never been kind to us.

Sherlock says that the plans are coming and they can leave in two days

chap 52 (jan 3)

 john goes to the academy to talk to mark about his kid b4 leaving or pick up art supplies and his room is TRASHED by moriarty's henchman, moriarty changed his mind

And then he runs home to see if Claire's okay

and he goes home to claire's and all his finished artwork is in a metal barrel being torched

The air /tastes/ like gasoline

I want him to be confused for just a moment

THE FEAR

THE SMELL OF VOMIT AND GASOLINE FILLING THE AIR

Front yard, he finds her, she storms inside, watches her angrily talk into the phone and she watches him

Then he vomits

Watches the flame for a few moments to tell himself "I'M DEAD I'M CAUGHT MY LIFE IS OVER"

"I gotta get the fuck out of here, i gotta find sherlock"

Then he runs

Finds a payphone

"Vatican cameos"

chap 53 (jan 3)

Sherlock pov

The police are looking for them everywhere

 they wait for mycroft to pick them up at a certain point

But a great scene could be the police walk in to ask harry questions

The police officer could be just talking to harry

He's so busy chatting her up that he doesn't realize he's standing on a basement door

She flirts him away, they move on to a dif town altogether

chap 53 (jan 4)

They trek

what if they find an abandoned building somewhere

With a basement still intact underground

they go to sleep and the blue light reminds john of the first night they actually slept together

Stock up

wake up to moriarty being a shit

BAD ASS CHASE SCENE WITH A GUN AND SHERLOCK AND HE ARE HIDING AND SHERLOCK SWEARS TO GOD HES gonna fukin kill a hoe

I think is the longer scene, lasting maybe three chapters, much like s&j

They're found out and a chase scene ensues, an empty warehouse with Sherlock's hand poised on a gun

no noise

Twig snaps

"Stay by me"

I'm envisioning a warehouse and Moriarty speaking into the dark but Sherlock has no clue what's going on so he's kinda stumbling in the dark with his gun pointed at the shadows

Does sherlock kill moriarty?

John is indisposed, like he always is in the TV show

when they finally escape, john bleaches and cuts off sherlock's hair so they can't be caught

"john, I don't want to"

"we have to. we have to. I'm - I know. I know, darling." HUGS!!!!!! LET THEM HUG dsgfhklgflksd

Like straight up crew, man. Like holy shit, my hair is gone.

Sherlock stares in the mirror and he whispers "i always enjoyed my hair"

"i did, too"

"it'll come back, john. the hair will grow back."

"of course it will."

The locks on the floor are golden, like johns

He runs a hand over Sherlock's scalp before kissing behind his ear, and sherlock just stares in the mirror, tears welling up soundlessly in his eyes

he is vain and obsessed and he loves his hair and just like john it is necessary for him to let it go

Except his hair will go back

John will never come back

In my opinion it is a major character development and not as arbitrary and ooc as you might think

I think people are going to read that scene and be heart broken

Because no one wants Sherlock to change

He doesn't want to change

But he's forced to

It's war, and he's the one who's finally putting up the white flag and surrendering and recreating himself to fit the image that others want him in

He's no longer the symbol of new age freedom and justice

Now he's pretending to be blonde and straight so he can survive

Sherlock Holmes is no longer special, he finally realizes that he never was

"John -- i just want you to know, since we may never see each other again, I-"

"i know" "i know" "you don't need to say anything"

"I want you to know that even if I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, I would still fight for you."

Chap 54 (jan 5)

They plan to go to america the next day 

If that doesn't work, then john will send sherlock to his sister so he can be picked up by mycroft and sent to do some work out east.

They go out in the morning

All is going well until someone calls the police on them and they get ripped apart

They're trying to hold onto each other

I LOVE YOU, BE SAFE, WAIT FOR ME

"GET OFF OF HIM, HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING, HE'S NOT A JEW, STOP IT, STOP IT,"

john is dragged away, and there's this look in his eyes

Sherlock is forced to run for it, elbowing someone in the face so he can escape

LAST TIME WE SEE JOHN

chap 55 (jan 6)

Sherlock is thrown into the tiny jail

Wakes up saying john's name

Remembers

Cop like "Some men are here to pick you up"

Mycroft leaves with him, take him to london

Explains that he's to go to berlin

"How did you get me out?"

"Ur innocent"

"lol what"

"according to... john hamish watson, yes"

"...what"

"He said he coerced you"

"He didn't"

"The court doesn't know that" *smiles*

"He didn't do that"

"Well his signature is right here" *produces paper, places it in front of sherlock*

*reads it over, mouthing each word*

"you have to decrease his sentence"

"That is not in my power"

"OF COURSE IT IS, EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR POWER"

"brother"

"MUST YOU BE SO USELESS"

"nonetheless. You're going to berlin undercover"

"Why"

"Because" "this is the end, brother dear"

As he leaves: "back to reality"

Time skip? 56-60 is sherlock in war

I like the image of Sherlock wearing a nazi uniform with his blonde hair and officer's cap, staring out a train window into the german countryside

And he thinks about how john would have loved the colors

I WANT JAMES TO BE HURT IN THE WAR AND ON THE BRINK OF DEATH

AND SHERLOCK RISKS HIS ENTIRE COVER BECAUSE HE WAS JOHN'S BEST FRIEND

Tells sherlock that John's in hmp?? (Prison in bristol)

60-62, Sherlock and John somehow meet again in London, far into the future, after John's left prison and homosexuality is no longer illegal and it's heavily implied that they have a happy ending, soulmates reunited, color, sound and light filling the corridors of their home at last :)