I walked into Lindsey's house, going up to her bedroom. I sighed as I flopped back onto the bed. Frank was getting married in exactly seven days, only one week left. I've been trying to forget about him and have been turning myself into a little ball of despair. Well, when I am feeling something. I've been pushing away every sort of emotion to become numb, just so I don't have to feel the pain. She turned in her seat at her vanity, where she was putting on her mascara.

"So, how was your date with the wicked witch of the west?" She asked.

"It was okay," I said. "We fucked."

Lindsey's eyes widened as she looked at me. She then rolled her eyes as she put her mascara and away and laughed, leaning back against the vanity counter.

"Yeah right, very funny," she said. "Seriously, tell me what happened."

"I'm serious, we went to the diner and then we went back to my house and we fucked," I stated.

Lindsey stared at me for a moment before coming over and climbing onto my lap to straddle my hips.

"Hey, what the fuck?" I asked as lindsey pulled at my sweater.

Her jaw dropped when she tugged the neckline down and saw the hickeys Eliza gave me.

"Oh my god, you're not joking," she gasped.

I pushed her off me and sat up as I shook my head.

"Like I said, completely serious," I repeated.

Lindsey seemed at a loss for words as I went over to look at the new lip stick she bought. The label said it was eggshell blue. Now, first of all the grey is a nice shade but if it was actually in color then just no. Also, what the hell is eggshell blue? I thought eggshells were white, I learned that the first day I met Frank when I dropped the eggs I bought.

"I thought you took things slow but now you're fucking on the first date?" Lindsey asked. "You were always keeping it in your pants--or, well, skirt--until you met Frank but now you're just getting down so quickly?"

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at her through the mirror.

"Why wait?" I asked. "I lost my soulmate, it's not like it really matters that much. Besides, she's not bad."

"Not bad as a person or not bad in bed?" Lindsey asked.

"Both," I replied. "She's actually rather nice when she isn't being a bitch to you and Bert. And good in bed too, she's dominate and I like that."

"But Frank is supposed to be your daddy," Lindsey said.

"And Eliza can be my mommy," I said.

"I thought you were all about dick," she said in confusion.

"No," I denied. "I've always been pan because I've been open to whoever my soulmate was."

She nodded her head but still looked somewhat uncomfortable.

"But this is Eliza Cuts," Lindsey said. "She's creepy with a capital bitch."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I also stalked Frank and showed up at the university he works at. But she actually cares about me 100%. Unlike Frank, she would profess her love for me to everyone."

"But the situations are completely different, he is engaged," Lindsey said.

"But he chose her over me, doesn't seem like love to me," I said. "It's easier with Eliza. When we're together and when we're fucking I forget about him."

"H-how many times have you fucked?" Lindsey asked.

"Well, on our first date on thursday, during third hour when we skipped class yesterday in the bathroom, and last night at her place," I listed.

Her eyes were wide as she stared at me. "This isn't you, Gee. Are you okay?"

I rolled my eyes, running my finger over one of Lindsey's makeup brushes. The soft, white bristles were stained with a grey color at the tip.

"Yeah, nothing like getting dumped by your soulmate," I said sarcastically.

"Hey, do you wanna talk about it?" Lindsey asked. "You haven't really said much about what exactly happened between you and Frank, you've been avoiding it."

I ignored her as I got up and went to her closet, looking through her drawers.

"Do you have anything with lace?" I called. "Eliza really likes it when I wear lace."

I looked through all the depressing shades of grey cloth. It was all just grey, grey, grey. I hated it.

"You can't avoid this forever," Lindsey stated.

I picked up a pair of light grey panties with black lace around the trims and a little black bow at the front.

"Oh, she'll like these," I said.

Lindsey snatched the panties from my hand, shoving them back into the drawer and shutting it.

"You're not allowed to use my lingerie to impress anyone besides Frank," Lindsey said, crossing her arms.

"Can we please just not talk about him?" I asked quietly. "He doesn't want me and I'd rather not rub salt into the wound."

Lindsey sighed and gave me a hug. She pulled away and opened a drawer, pulling out a pair of completely black lace panties.

"Here, wear these for her," she muttered. "But does it really have to be Eliza out of all people?"

"She cares about me," I stated, going over to the panties into my bag.

"But Frank cares about you too," Lindsey insisted.

I scoffed, turning to her as I crossed my arms. "Care enough to drop me? He's my fucking soulmate but he still doesn't want to be with me. I asked if we can just drop this, Linds, I am trying my hardest to just forget about him but I can't do that with you bringing him up every two seconds."

"I'm sorry, Gee, this is all just so surprising," Lindsey apologized. "Okay, well, tell me about Eliza then."

"Well, she's definitely very...strong," I said. "She'll stand for what she wants. She will beat up and threaten people who hit on me. She's actually pretty nice when she wants to be. Actually, she's pretty much nice to only me."

"Does she make you happy?" Lindsey asked.

"She can," I stated.

"But she isn't meant for you," Lindsey said.

"Well Jamia isn't meant for Frank either," I snapped. "But yet Frank still loves her more than he loves me. He doesn't want to marry me or have a life with me. He broke my heart, Lindsey, I just don't know what to do anymore without him. He told me he loves me but he still loves her more than me because I'm just not good enough for him."

As soon as I looked her in the eye I felt myself fall apart. Every ounce of confidence and strength I was using to keep myself together was gone. My heart shattering as it was held together by bad glue on a get well card. Everyone emotion that I've been trying to ignore came crashing down on me like a two ton wall of bricks. Frank's smile ran through my head, making everything a million times worse because I knew that I wouldn't be able to see that smile anymore. The single string that held me upright was snapped as I immediately burst into tears, falling into Lindsey's arms.

"Hey, honey, it's okay," Lindsey reassured softly.

I sobbed into her shoulder, holding her tight as my body shook with tears.

"I-it's hurts so much," I choked out.

"I know it does," Lindsey whispered. "But hey, you've got Eliza now, she can make you happy."

"But I want Frank," I cried. "I want my Frankie, I want my daddy."

She sat on the edge of the bed and I was cuddled in her lap, still sobbing into her shoulder.

"I don't really want to forget about him, I want to be with him," I whimpered. "I want to hug him and kiss him and call him my own. Eliza is a good mommy but Frank is the best daddy ever. I don't wanna be stuck in this damn world of greys it is so awful. I just wanna see Frank's pretty hazel eyes."

Lindsey ran one of her hands through my hair soothingly, the other one placed on my back.

"I tried so hard to win him over but he still chose Jamia in the end," I said, my voice shaky. "He doesn't want me, not as much as he wants Jamia."

"Hey, it'll be okay," lindsey whispered. "Soon Frank will just be an old funny story to tell people. Like you said, you've got Eliza now and she helps you forget, she can help you move on."

I nodded my head, hugging her as tight as I possibly could.

"So you won't be so mean to her?" I asked quietly.

"I'll try as long as she isn't being a bitch to me," Lindsey said. "But are you sure that she's the one you want?"

I nodded again. "She's always cared about me even if she didn't express it in very good ways. But I was the exact same way when I met Frank so I know that she cares deeply. I know that she actually loves me and won't hurt me like Frank did."

"And she's okay with being your mommy?" Lindsey asked.

"She's the one who suggested it," I said.

"I guess it'll take some time to get used to it but as long as it can make you happy then I guess I can tolerate it," she said.

I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my face. "Were you just referring to Eliza as 'it'?"

She chuckled, her hand still running through my hair comfortingly.

"Well, it's no secret that I've never particularly been fond of her," she said.

I wiped away my tears, still cuddled up in her lap.

"So, we're officially forgetting about Frank now, huh?" Lindsey asked.

I sniffled as I nodded my head, trying my best to ignore the pains in my heart. "He isn't gonna be in my life anymore."