I groaned as someone opened the curtains, the light blaring through made my eyes feel like a burning hell. I sub-consciously tried to smack my alarm clock, even thought it wasn't what had woken me up. Oops, force of habit.

               "Good morning my beloved," I heard Rayne's voice.

               A smile quickly etched on my face as I heard his hot voice. There is nothing better than Rayne waking me up in the morning. I'm still really tired but I managed to get up anyway.

               "Good morning," I replied.

               My eyes darted to Phil's bed - which was empty. The jerk didn't even wake me up? He usually does. What the heck, man.

               I dropped back on my bed, feeling exhausted. Waking up is the hardest part about a new day. I am a guy who really enjoys his beauty sleep.

               My body shifted from Rayne's weight as he sat down next to me. I somehow felt like he was going to give me another lecture, or the talk.

               "How are you feeling?" He asked.

               I tried to get up again but I just ended up feeling all dizzy so I laid back down.

               "Tired," I blinked hard as I tried to focus on him.

               "I just came back from the library so I thought I'd stop by," He grinned, his eyes innocently looking down on my chest.

              "Are you finished with school work?" I asked, tiredly.

               "I'm free," He smiled.

               "Good, cause I've missed you."

               He pouted at me. "I'm sorry, school work kept me busy all week. But it's Friday so we can hang out if you want."

               "If?" I quirked an eyebrow.

               He licked his bottom lip, which immediately turned me on. I wasn't worried about his gender anymore, the only thing I worried about was my mom - who I called yesterday to tell her that I was bringing a friend next week.

               Only that he wasn't just a friend, he was my boyfriend.

               "What do you want to do then?" He rolled his eyes playfully.

               I sent him a provocative look, I think he knew what I wanted to do.

               "Staring at me like a serial killer doesn't really tell me what you want to do," He said.

               I grabbed him by his stomach and pulled him back into my bed. His giggles woke me up completely, because his happiness is what makes my heart keep beating. That and my blood.

               I could feel Rayne's breathing become heavy as we wrestled between my sheets. Rayne is very flexible, which only turns me on even more. I'm comfortable with us being guys but I still get scared when ever I think of the S word.

               "Stop it," He giggled as I tickled him.

               I pressed my nose against his skin and inhaled his wild scent that drove my hormones on fire. Gently, I nibbled on his collar bone and passed my tongue over his skin. In returned, I received a few soft moans from him.

               "God, I missed you so much," I said as I breathed in the smell of his fresh hair.

               "What about me?"

               It took me a while to get it. I rolled my eyes at him and kissed his neck.

                "By the way, we're going to my mom's next week," I told him.

               "Why?"

               "Because I love you and she needs to meet you."

               He opened his mouth to speak, when he did I dipped my tongue inside of it and laughed into his mouth. 

               "Fine, but if it gets awkward..." He gave me a threatening look.

               "It won't. You'll love my mom, I promise."

               "Okay," He leaned harder against me, which made the hairs on my arm bristle.

               "You smell like books."

               He snickered. "You smell like alcohol - wait, you smell like alcohol? Have you been drinking?"

               "I was drinking with the boys, there was a fight last night," I shrugged.

               "A fight? Another?"

               "No, I mean on T.V."

               "Oh, right," He laid on his back and looked up at my ceiling.

               "What are you thinking about?" I asked him, wondering since he looked like he was in deep thought.

               "I'm moving out of here," He said without looking at me.

               Nerves suddenly rushed through my body as I sat up. "What do you mean you're moving out of here?"

               "I got my paycheck and I'm not staying another week in this shit hole," He still didn't look at me.

               "But...why?" I said, broken.

               "I just don't like living here, surrounded by so many people. It makes my insecurities shoot out the roof."

               "But then we won't see each other as much," I pointed out.

               "Of course we will. You can even stay with me if you want."

               "You want me to move in with you?"

               "Only if you want," He finally turned his face to look at me.

               I opened my mouth but I couldn't speak. I felt like I was shot in the chest. 

               "I can't..." Was all I could say.

               He sat up, this time looking at me straight in the eyes.

               "Why not? You don't have to pay for anything, my cousin will be paying for most of my rent until I get a job."

               My mouth felt numb right now. "A job too? Rayne..."

               "What? What's wrong?"

               "You're going to move out, you're going to get a job," I repeated, as I stared at him disbelievingly, "while you go to school, and do school things and internships. What about us? There won't be anytime for us."

               "Of course there will!" He said defensively, his jaw clenching.

               I waited for him to say something but that's all he could say.

               "So that's all you say? Of course there will? You don't even have a good excuse."

               "A good excuse for what?" He blinked, confused.

               "Staying together?" I said in an obvious tone.

               I immediately regretted my words as I looked at his expression. His eyes glistened, not from sadness, but from anger. He got up, rather viciously, and gave me one last look before heading out my door.

               "How about I love you. Is that good enough for you, Jesse?" I saw the pain in his eyes just before he turned to leave. I would have gone after him but I'm in my boxers...

               Why did he get upset? I didn't do anything wrong. He's the one that isn't carrying about us. He claims he loves me, yet he goes off and hangs out with everyone except me. Like he's avoiding me.

               I should be the one getting upset.

               Was he upset because I didn't want to move in with him? Well that's a big freaking deal considering we haven't even been together for a month. I didn't want to rush things, I wanted to take them slowly and with caution.

               And I wanted him. Just him. Why was that so hard to ask for? I mean, this whole week I talked to him like a total of one hour. One freaking hour! Not counting the phone calls or the text messages.

               And that will now drop to ten minutes. He doesn't even give me attention while we're in class. I mean come on. What am I doing wrong?

~

               "I just got released from jail," Priscella yawned as she sat next to me on the couch. "It sucked."

               "I guess people shouldn't mess with rich blonde girls who have nose jobs," I laughed, "but welcome back."

               "I might go bad ass from now on, I like the rush," She gazed out in front of her and nodded to herself.

               I released a long breath and stared at the silent screen in front of me. I choked down a gulp of beer and turned to Priscella who was playing with her fingers

               "Do you think Rayne really likes me?" I asked her, feeling a little self-conscious. Like, what if he stopped liking me?

               "No," She answered honestly, "I think he loves you."

               I grunted. "Then why is he so squishy?"

               "Squishy?" She raised a brow.

               "You know," I shifted my head from side to side as I thought of the right term, "emotional."

               "Jesse," She calmly, "he got disowned by his family. What else is he supposed to do? At least give him credit for remaining strong."

               "So? He's not the one that lost a sister."

               She frowned and smacked me. "Is that what you want? You want him to pity on you? Take care of you like the baby that you are? No, he didn't lose a sister, he lost his whole family. You need to start using that brain of yours."

               I smacked her hand away as she tried to poke my skull.

               "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, taking another shot of my drink.

               "You know very well what I'm talking about."

               I shook my head. "No I don't," I mumbled.

               "Jesse, I've known you for a very long time. You aren't fooling me."

               "I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

               "Fine, let me repeat it," She said, coldly. "Rayne doesn't need to pamper you like a baby. You're a grown up. If you're strong enough to face the world as a homosexual then you're strong enough to take care of yourself. He loves you, he tells me so everyday. But you can't really expect him to be all happy and understanding when everyone is out to get him."

               "Who the fuck is out to get him?"

               "I don't mean it literally. I just mean, he's trying to cope with the fact that he's dating astraight guy, while also trying to look for money because he doesn't know when his parents will stop sending money. He's trying his hardest to do what makes him happy, so be there for him."

               I groaned. She wasn't making sense to me anymore, but it might just be the alcohol kicking in.

              "Did you know he's moving out of the dorms? He's getting his own place. And he asked meto move in with him. Or well, he gave me the option."

               "Yes, I know. And? Move in with him then."

               "You're crazy. I can't move in with him."

               "Why not? You love him, don't you?"

               "Don't doubt my feelings for him," I sent her a dirty look.

               "Why won't you move in with him?" She repeated, a bored look on her face, clearly unafraid of my threatening looks.

               "Because, I don't want to. I don't think we're ready for that commitment."

               "We're? You mean you aren't ready. It seems to me that Rayne is ready to give his life for you. But you aren't taking it. Are you afraid?"

               I scoffed. "Afraid? Afraid of what?"

               "Being with him? Being in a serious relationship with him? Are you afraid of it?"

               I grabbed the cushion next to me and smacked her in the face with it. She needed to shut up now.

               "Are you afraid, Jesse Jackson?" She mumbled through the pillow.

               "There is no reason to be afraid," I rolled my eyes even though she couldn't see me.

               She removed the cushion from her face and glared at me. "Well he's a man. You're a man. Are you afraid of being with a man?"

               I cringed my eyebrows. "The hell? I'm already in a relationship with a man. I even made it Facebook official."

               "You know what I mean," She smirked at me, wiggling her brows.

               I scarfed down more of my drink.

               "No."

               "Oh, really?" Her wiggling eyebrows remained persistent.

               "I'm gonna hit you," I glared at her. "Look, I already gave him head so you can stop thinking that I'm afraid of it."

               "Giving head is nothing. It's just a drop of water to the ocean. You know very well what I mean," She kept looking at me with that really perverted look on her face. She made a circle with one hand and shoved a finger through it, she began by slowly thrusting back and forth then she went at full speed. "Oh yeah..."

               I smacked her hand with my beer bottle and looked away as my face heated in embarrassment.

               "I knew it, you're scared of being alone with him aren't you? You think the real thing will happen, not just some innocent touching."

               "Shut up!" I snapped.

               I grew tensed, and I couldn't stay in the same room with Priscella so I walked away from the living room and headed God knows where. Anywhere sounded better than here.

               She just made me remember how scared I really was when I gave him head. I probably wouldn't had done it if he hadn't challenged me. I think it would have still happened, just not that day.

               What am I really afraid of? Well, I'm afraid of being used, just like in all my previous relationships. I've been used countless of times and it never did seemed that anyone cared about me.

               I'm just having a strange feeling that Rayne is getting bored of me because I won't get to the good stuff. If that's the case, then I don't know what to do. Because, honest to God, I'm completely in love with him. I am so in love with him that it hurts. 

               I guess we're both having trust issues. Mine is more complicated, since I'm the most confusing person in the world.

               Or maybe we just need to get laid...

_________________________________________________________________________________

[Author's Message...]

   *Calls 911* HELP! MY WRITERS BLOCK IS TAKING OVER! WAH!

   O_o It's slowly going away, but I managed to squeeze in a chapter. ;D Let me ask you guys an honest question. Is it getting confusing for you? I mean, it isn't confusing to me as it is for Jesse's character. BUT is the READER confused? What are YOU thinking? Are you understanding? Cause I usually don't like revealing everything in one chapter so I tend to make things even more confusing for the reader even though in reality it isn't confusing at all. It's just two people who are having a lot on their mind and are having a lot of trust issues. Like Jesse said, maybe they just need to get laid lmao.

   Jk, ofc not! ;D That's not a problem solution! But I want to get your opinion on this guys. :) Oh and end your comment with a heart, just so I can know who really reads my author's messages. :D GO!

   And yes, Dave will be returning. Anyone who appears on my cast list will be a permanent character, not just for a chapter or two.