I couldn't breathe, my whole world stopped. The air in my lungs escaped and left a very uncomfortable emptiness in my stomach.

               "Y—You can't leave," I stuttered. "You just bought this apartment. Please don't leave, please don't leave me."

               "Stop talking," he demanded.

               How could he tell me to stop talking? He just told me he's going back to Ireland and I'm just supposed to stay quiet? I couldn't let him go. I wasn't going to let him go. I'll take all the blame if he wanted.

               "Baby, please don't leave. I'm sorry. Forgive me for yelling at you. Don't leave me."

               "Jesse," he growled.

               The tears that lingered in my eyes finally escaped and streamed down my face. I felt heart broken for the first time in my life. It was a very unpleasant feeling and it hurt worse than getting stabbed. Not that I would know how that felt like.

               "Please," I begged desperately. "I can't live without you."

               I knelt in front of him and grabbed his hands. I felt something metallic brush against my skin and I pushed up his sleeves. The bracelet I gave him, he was wearing it. Why was he wearing it if he hated me so much.

               He wiped away his eyes as another set of tears rolled down his cheek.

               "Please," I continued to fight, "you just bought this place. Don't leave. I promise to leave you alone. Just don't leave. You can even hit me all you want. I'll stop being a childish arrogant asshole too."

               "Now who's the one not listening?" he rolled his eyes.

               "What?" I whimpered.

               He looked down at our hands, which he hadn't bothered to smack this time. "You didn't do anything wrong. You're just trying to keep me here."

               "Of course I am. I love you, baby. I love you so much. I can't live knowing that I made you leave the country."

               "This isn't about you, Jesse."

               "Then what is it about? Why are you torturing me like this? Why are you pushing me away?Why am I the only one getting hurt if it's not about me?"

               "You're the only one getting affected because I love you."

               I blinked, looking up at him confused. "That doesn't make sense."

               "It makes perfect sense. You're getting hurt because I love you and because you love me. Everything I do involves you, including my feelings."

               "So then why are you letting it hurt me instead of telling me what's wrong? Don't you know how much it hurts me to see you act so different and not loving me? It hurts so much. It eats away at my soul, killing me slowly."

               "It's not easy to just tell you things when you don't take anything seriously. I meant it when I called you childish. I can't take care of you like a baby, Jesse. And you ruined a completely wonderful dinner with your family."

               "Is that what this is about?" I asked.

               "No. Only a small part of it."

               Quickly, I got up and grabbed his face. "Then tell me! I can't take this anymore! Just tell me what is wrong so I can help you. I don't want to be treated like this anymore."

               "It's not easy to say it, Jesse. It hurts me so bad."

               "You can tell Cassy but not me?" I let go of his face when his eyes started glistening again. "She sounded suspicious, so I just assumed she knew what was going on with you. I'm worried."

               "Your emotions confuse me," he muttered.

               "Rayne..."

               He made me sit down next to him and hugged me tight. "I don't like us fighting. I know this is my fault because I just won't come out and say it."

               "You can trust me," I reassured him.

               "I know I can trust you. It's just not easy to say it since it just brings back the pain. Ignoring everything that makes me weak is the only way I can forget."

               I sighed. "So that's why you were ignoring me?"

               He nodded, more tears pouring from his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Jesse."

               So he wasn't using me. That's about the biggest relief I have ever felt in my life. I almost had a heart attack when the thought came to mind. I couldn't imagine Rayne using me to get in my pants and leave. Priscella was right.

               "It's okay. Just tell me what's wrong."

               He nodded, burring his face into my shirt. He mumbled something I didn't catch and asked him to repeat again.

               "My ... my mom died," he gasped like he couldn't believe what he just said. "She's dead." He broke down crying more than ever. Watching him like this just tore my to pieces.

               His mom died. Now I kind of understood why he was keeping it away from everyone.

               "I'm sorry, Rayne." I hugged him and kissed his forehead.

               "Our last conversation was when she disowned me. Her last memory of me was all hate. She died hating me," he wailed, clutching his chest. "It hurts so much."

               "She did not die hating you. I promise you with all my heart that she did not hate you. She was scared for you. But she loved you."

               "How would you know? You never even met her!" he argued

               "A mother would never hate their child. They can only be afraid for them. And fear makes us do things we normally wouldn't do."

               "She hated me and that's final. Now she will never know you. She will never see how there is nothing wrong with being who you are."

               I sighed, hugging him harder. "I'm sorry that I overreacted. I didn't mean to yell at you, but I was desperate for answers. You were acting so unlike you, it was strange and it scared me."

               "It's okay. But how could you think that I would use you like that? Do you honestly think I'm like those other girls you dated? I'm not even a girl."

               "Shh," I whispered. "It was only fear. It made me say things I didn't mean."

               "I only wanted you to make love to me, to make me forget. I needed anything that would help me forget about the tormenting pain."

               I rocked him him back and forth. "It's okay, Rayne. I understand now."

               After a few minutes of silence and him whimpering, he spoke. "I wasn't joking when I said I was going back to Ireland though," he prompted.

               "But you bought the apartment," I pointed out.

               "It's just for the funeral. I'm not even sure if my family really wants me there."

               "Did they call you?"

               He nodded.

               I let him have his peace and quiet and I just stroked his hair while he cried. It was terrible, honestly. I didn't want to admit it out loud but his mom could have died still hating him. And not being able to make your family understand was terrible. People's minds can change. With time and patience, of course. So I understood him. I understood his pain. I wasn't sure if I should be happy that he was actually still very in love with me or not. I don't want to be happy because of his pain. I can't just smile and be selfish. It was about him now, not about me.

               "Do you want me to leave you alone now?"

               He grabbed my arm. "No, don't leave. I was just mad at you for being mad at me."

               I chuckled quietly. "Go to sleep in your bed then. I'll help the guys bring in the furniture. Just rest.

               He nodded and crawled up his new bed. "Jesse."

               I looked back as I opened the door.

               "I will always love you. Remember, and never forget."

               I smiled. "I love you too. Sleep well."

               "Don't leave though," he said quickly.

               "I won't leave. I'll be here," I reassured him.

               As I left the apartment I heard the loud clicking of high heels. I caught a glimpse of Priscella running away from the bedroom window. She threw herself over the table to try and act like she didn't just peak at our conversation but instead she slid across the table and fell on the other side.

               "You deserved that," I muttered when I approached her.

               She jumped on her feet and dusted herself off. "That was intense."

               "Did you listen to the whole thing?" I asked, grabbing the table and dragging it down the hall.

               "Yeah. Holy crap. You guys should submit your lives to a soap opera station."

               I frowned. "That's not funny. He's in pain."

               She dropped her gaze and pouted. "That's tough. Did he say how she died?"

               I shook my head. "I didn't want to bring that up."

               She sighed. "At least now you know it wasn't your fault. I told you that he loved you no matter what but you never listen to me. Don't you know that girls are always right? You need to learn."

               I felt like there was still something missing. Something wrong. I was truly sorry that Rayne's mom had passed away ... but I still couldn't just let go of this. Something was keeping me attached.

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[Author's Message...]

     Short chapter, I know, stop complaining and be grateful. Lol. Seems like I scared you all in the last chapter (; LOL. Yeah I did it on purpose and didn't upload to torture you all. O.O So now you know why Rayne was acting strange. He was upset about his mother passing, the thought of her hating him when she died is terrible. :( BUT IS THAT REALLY ALL? LOL. *runs away*

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