I looked up at Aaron as he whispered something to Rayne who sat next to him. Rayne quickly tried not to smile and ended up with a crooked smile.

               I wondered if Rayne mentioned that I was his boyfriend. Did Aaron know or did he think I was just some loser who sat in his own quiet despair?

               The food arrived a few minutes later and we all dug in.

               "Jesse," Priscella turned to me. "I heard Zoey got pregnant. Did you know this?"

               I shook my head and stuffed my mouth with French fries as an excuse not to talk. I should have ordered more French fries.

               I think Priscella noticed that my happiness was completely destroyed at this point. She wasn't joking and she wasn't punching me. She has known me for a very long time, almost as much as Phil so she would know if something was wrong.

               The food in front of me didn't look appetizing anymore. I lost the hunger that I didn't even have in the first place. So I just stared at my plate and carefully listened to what others said around me.

               "I don't think she'll make it in the real world. She's just not good," Rayne said, rolling his eyes.

               "With new equipment and crew then she could make it far," Aaron pointed out.

               Rayne shrugged "She has potential, I give her that."

               Aaron chuckled. "You just said she wasn't good. Make up your mind, Ray."

               Ray. His middle name. He wouldn't even let me call him that but he let Aaron?

               I sighed and took out my wallet. I dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table, got up and walked away without a word. That should cover my food and the tip for the waitress. Rayne's eyes finally had set on mine as I walked away but I didn't stop.

               "Where is he going?" I heard one of them say.

               I walked out of the restaurant and headed out into the docks. I shoved my hands inside my pockets and looked at the motionless water. The boats all floated gently with the wind. I reached the end and sat down with my legs dangling just above the water.

               The sun was bright and the sky was cloudless. It was a perfect day for going to the beach or just hanging out with your friends. But I wasn't in the mood to do anything right now.

               I was joined by a shadow, as I expected, Priscella sat down next to me with her plate of food on her lap. Only her.

               "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" she asked after a few silent minutes passed.

               "Nothing is wrong."

               "Oh please. Oh please. Girl. Don't even ... I know something is wrong. So talk to me."

               I shook my head, looking down at the tiny fishes that swam around. "Nothing."

               "Come on, Jesse," she sighed. "You're usually outgoing and making everyone laugh. Something is wrong. You wouldn't even touch your food except when I asked you questions. Is it Aaron? Are you jealous? Because in my opinion, Rayne just sees him as a friend. They just met at work and he's socializing."

               Again, I shook my head and sniffed. "No. I'm not like that. He can have as many friends as he wants and it won't bother me."

               "Then what is it?"

               "I'm just a fool in love."

               "What do you mean?"

               "I mean exactly what I said. I'm a fool in love. I'm stupid and followed my heart. Nothing ever changes. It's all the same pattern."

               She cocked her head to the side. "The hell?"

               "Nothing. Priscella."

               "No. I'm your friend and it hurts me to see you like this. So please explain in a way I can understand."

               "I was afraid it would happen and it looks like I was right. Remember when I told you that everyone I was ever with just wanted to get in my pants? And after that they just didn't care anymore?"

               "Oh come on. You can't possibly think that Rayne is doing that."

               "You weren't with him. You don't know him the way I do. He always has this smile whenever he's around me ... and now I can't see it."

               "So you guys did it? Did you have it up your butt?"

               I frowned at her.

               "Sorry," she grinned.

               "When I left the table was the first time he looked at me in a while. It hurt me and it felt like he didn't want me there."

               "Come on, it's Rayne. He wouldn't do this to you," she insisted.

               "Well maybe he's a different person now that he got what he wanted," I snapped.

               She patted my shoulders sympathetically. "Stop it, Jesse. Thinking like that is what will ruin your relationship with him. Rayne wouldn't do that to you."

               "He gives Aaron the same look he used to give me. A shy and sweet look with a side of desire. Let's face it. He's going to meet a lot more good looking men in his modeling career. Men that aren't corrupted like me."

               "Do you want me to talk to him?" she offered.

               "No. I don't want to ruin his mood with my messed up emotions."

               "Jesse. I love you and I love Rayne. I'm sure you are upset right now but please don't let this get between you both. I just don't think Rayne would do that. He loves you."

               "Maybe."

               She frowned. "I have a solid plate in my hands, don't make me crack it on your skull."

               "I wouldn't be upset if I didn't know something was wrong! That's all I have to say on this subject."

               Fool in love, that's what I was. I should probably keep these thoughts to myself until I know for sure what Rayne really felt right now. Why was he doing this? Avoiding me. Pushing me away. Not looking at me the same.

               What did I do wrong?

               "Come on, let's go back to the restaurant." She tried pulling me up but she had no muscles.

               "Just call me when you're all done having fun."

               She sighed. "Fine."

               Sunshine broke through the now cloud filled sky and beamed down on me. I covered my eyes from the blinding sight and looked down at the prickling water. Fresh air filled my lungs and made my tense muscles relax a little bit.

               I watched the boat in the distance and wished I could be on a boat right now and run away from land. That actually sounded like a really good idea. I'd have to keep that in mind next time I have a free weekend. I would love to just escape everything and everyone. Just me and the endless ocean.

               I tried to imagine my life without Rayne, without the Rayne I learned to love and I found myself tearing up.

               I just couldn't.

               Even the long car ride back to California was quiet and I felt like there was something wrong with Rayne. I thought maybe he was tired but now I see that he wasn't. He just didn't want to talk to me.

               My hands were shaking and I was getting more paranoid by the second. More disturbing thoughts came to my mind and they wouldn't let me breathe well. My thoughts alone hurt, so how would my heart breaking feel? This was truly the first time I fell in love, real love, so how will it feel when I lose it all?

               Pull yourself together, Jesse. Nothing has happened. Rayne is still yours and you're just over thinking things. Everything is fine.

               But I couldn't even lie convincingly to myself.

               I got up when I felt it was time to go and I was right. I saw the three of them leaving the restaurant and Priscella took out her phone to call me. She dropped it when she saw me walking towards them.

               Rayne and Aaron were in some deep conversation that I didn't understand, more reasons to remain quiet.

               "You guys ready to go?" Priscella asked them.

               "Yeah," Aaron answered and looked at me. "Can you drop me back at the studio?"

               I nodded.

               Once we were back on the road, I turned the radio on and frowned when a song that portrayed what I was going through played. All these artists gotta stop climbing into our heads. I felt all violated, having my thoughts on the air.

               Priscella kept smiling at me from the passenger's seat and it was creeping me out. I wished I could somehow block her face. A Priscella blocker for 9.99$.

               "Talk to you tomorrow, Aaron," Rayne waved at him after I dropped him out.

               Tomorrow.

               I prayed with all my heart that Rayne had just found a new best friend, not something else.

               "Wonderful day we're having," Priscella said loudly to break the silence.

               "It's nice," Rayne muttered, his face glued to his phone. I didn't even have to guess.

               The ride back to the dorm building was a long one. As expected. We were all quiet and Rayne didn't even notice anything was wrong. It was just a normal day for him, but he didn't notice what he was doing to me.

               If something was wrong, why couldn't he just talk to me instead of giving me the silent treatment? I thought Rayne talked to people whenever his feelings were mixed. Especially if they involved me.

               It was very dark now and it was kind of late. I felt bad for Priscella because she had to run around all day in her uniform. She looked like she didn't care anyway. I wish I had that kind of attitude. I wish I didn't care but I do.

               "Goodnight, guys." Priscella waved at us and ran inside.

               Slowly, Rayne and I walked side by side. I looked down, studying every crack on the ground and wondering how they got there. Maybe accidents or an earthquake.

               "I hope you had fun today," I told him as we entered the empty halls of the dorm rooms.

               He looked up at me and smiled. "I did. Oddly, I missed California."

               I gulped, nodding. "Yeah."

               "We should go to sleep now."

               "If you want to."

               He grinned. "I have to if I want my energy. Cassy already bought the furniture for the apartment so there will be a lot of moving."

               We stopped at my door and I unlocked the door. I let Rayne walk in first and then I closed the door behind us. He didn't have a dorm room anymore so he had to stay the night with me. Only tonight though. Since he moves in to his new apartment tomorrow.

               "You can take Phil's bed if you want," I muttered. "He's not gonna be here tonight."

               Rayne gave me a look. "You don't want me to sleep with you?"

               "I'm just giving you the option. If you want to be more comfortable or want more space then take his bed for tonight."

               He removed his shoes and took off his shirt. "No thanks." He jumped in my bed and made a human cocoon out of my covers.

               This gave me some hope that he was only just distracted. Just a busy day for him or he wanted to give his new friend the attention. I hoped and hoped but I just couldn't be sure.

               I sat on the edge of the bed - my back facing Rayne - and kicked off my shoes. Rayne suddenly surprised me by kissing my neck and removing my shirt. His seductive movements were threatening to me. My heart was on alert mode.

               He leaned me back on the bed and I got comfortable next to him. He was kissing me in all the places, obviously wanting it but I just couldn't.

               "Babe," I held his hand and closed my eyes. "I don't feel good. Can we not do anything?"

               I imagined a worried expression, I just couldn't open my eyes and see a blank stare on his face.

               "Are you okay? Are you feeling okay?" he asked quickly, very concerned.

               "I just said I don't feel good."

               He sighed. "I know that. But are you okay?"

               "I'm fine. Let's just go to sleep."

               He wrapped his hand around my chest and kissed my shoulder once before dozing off to sleep. I needed sleep. I needed to shut my brain and my thoughts before I damaged myself.

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[Author's Message...]

   I honestly felt so freaking depressed while writing that Jesse was depressed. Jesse T_T Please don't be sad. We're here for you! My BABY don't be sad *cries* I can't ... I just can't! Stop being paranoid, I'm sure Rayne loves you *cough*

   *Hugs Jesse* EVERYONE JOIN THE GROUP HUG AND HUG THE HELL OUT OF JESSE!

   *Hugs harder*

   I don't like Jesse being sad. It makes ME sad and I wanna cry now :( God dammit Rayne...can't you see your man is sad?! WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND TO HIS EMOTIONS?!

   I like how I act that I'm not the author of this story lol. I'm reading the story along with you guys <3 It's real ;D

    Vote and comment. Share your feelings and give Jesse a warm embrace. TELL HIM IT WILL ALL BE OKAY.