Prologue

The crimson blood colored wedding dress danced in the wind, as she stood on the Prayer Terrace in imploration, looking through her beaded veil at the many officials who bowed their heads before her. She looked elsewhere, and her sight fell on an Imperial bodyguard who stood to the right of Mt Tiantai. That Imperial bodyguard wore distinct silver metal armor and black boots, with a green jade pendant hanging from his waist, marking him as a special bodyguard of the Princess.

That was the Imperial bodyguard of the Princess, and… the person she loved.

The maid who attended to her offered her three cups of sacred wine. She was unmoving, only softly lifting her lower jaw, looking at that person with stubbornness and arrogance. No one dared press her in these circumstances. Only, the sacrificial occasion had not yet begun, and the officials below could not help but become clamorous.

These sounds finally alerted the wooden Imperial bodyguard. He turned, and his gaze merged with that of the Princess’s. With her phoenix crown, his princess was prettier than all of the women in the world; but he would never be able to touch his Princess. Even when gazing at her, he could not exceed his limits.

Yun Cheng’s hands tightened into fists. He turned back expressionlessly, harshly severing their joining gazes, and lowered his eyes to look at the earth beneath his feet.

The lips below the beaded veil formed an arc, that was both bitter and full of sorrow, while conveying the helplessness felt from resigning herself to her misfortunes. The red sleeve brushed past the dragon engraved proffered plate, as she lifted her first cup of wine. Behind her, the advisor of the kingdom loudly called, “Offering sacrifices to the heavens!” She lifted the wine cup above her head, and dipped her fingers in the wine, spraying it out towards the sky. Her tone and complexion were steady and unflustered as she grandly said, “Departing from the nation.”

“Sacrifice to the earth!”

“Departing from the people.”

“Sacrifice to our ancestors!”

“Departing from my family.”

When the ceremony was complete, Yongming Princess* of the Qi Nation walked to the marriage sedan that would take her to the faraway south. From now on it would be difficult for Princess Qing Shi [1] to return to the Qi Nation.

*Yongming is Qing Shi’s princess title; Qing Shi is the princess’s name

[1] Qing Shi (倾世) 倾 means to overturn; to collapse; to lean, and 世 means life; age; world; lifetime. Her name is also what the story is called.

The maid by her side came over to support her over. However, Qing Shi waved her sleeve, making the maid retreat to the side. She took off the golden phoenix crown on  her head and tossed it, throwing it directly in front of Yun Cheng. Yun Cheng was overwhelmed with shock, as he fiercely turned around, only to see Qing Shi spontaneously take out a knife blade that looked like a hairpin. Many years ago, he had ground it himself before giving it to Qing Shi when she reached the marriageable age of 15. It was to allow her to save herself if she was ever in dire circumstances. All these years, she had hid it like a treasure, never intending to use it once, but unexpectedly on this type of an occasion…

Only Yun Cheng knew she was about to do something foolish. He was so frightened that it seemed he was about to crack apart. He had not yet arrived at her side when he saw Qing Shi grasp her scattered hair, and sever her hair. It  fell like a waterfall and  with just a wave, her hair filled the whole sky and fluttered in the breeze.

The officials watching were shocked, as the Emperor witnessing the ritual also stood. The servants and Imperial bodyguards on Mt Tiantai all bowed to the ground. Only Yun Cheng stood dumbly, as stupid hope filled  Qing Shi’s eyes. No matter what, she could not flee. He heard her weak voice ring yet again, “Sacrifice the Princess Qing Shi, who will depart… from the Emperor.”

These words seemed like chains, chaining up Yun Cheng’s life, and world.

Qing Shi decisively turned around, facing the Emperor, as she bent her head in respect, “As Qing Shi leaves, never to return, she is willing to let this hair replace her, as a remnant of the great Qi Nation! May the Nation exist forever. I hope my birth Nation will be full of eternal peace!” She kowtowed three times, almost as if trying to make the three thousand li* nation tremble with emotion.

*For those of you who don’t know, li is an ancient measure word that was used in ancient China.

The officials were solemnly quiet, and the monarch was rendered speechless.

Qing Shi rose, her back extremely poised. Her eyes no longer hesitated, as she walked  owards the marriage sedan decisively. There was no longer any reluctance to leave.

As she had kowtowed, dust stuck to her clothes, and her silky hair had become messy. Her forehead was even suffused with blood, but in Yun Cheng’s eyes, only now, was this Qing Shi  the real Qing Shi. In this world, he would never again find another girl like her, never again…

Chapters 1-2

It’s the 2nd Qing Shi we meet today! Courtesy of Ibuki Satsuki.

Night in the Protector General’s estate. As the guests party with their wine goblets and gamble together, a dancing girl in red begins a flying dance.

No one besides the master of the estate noticed the dancing girl suddenly stiffen.

The dancing girl knew that today was the fiftieth birthday of the great Protector General. Under these kinds of circumstances, she could not misstep… With one step, her body went askew, and she fell onto the ground, the chaotic sounds in her ears faintly going silent.

“Help her up.” A deep and kind masculine voice spoke, that seemed to dictate great vicissitudes. Immediately, two people came forth to lift her up. When she glanced up she saw that the person who had spoken was the great Protector General, Yun Cheng. Though he was late in his years, the general did not look old. His pupils were full of deepness that was becoming of his years, and the great change in his eyes could shake one’s eyes further. He asked, “What is your name?”

“This servant..is called Qing Shi [1].”

[1] Qing Shi (卿时). 卿 is a term of endearment between spouses, or a term for a high ranking official; an honorific in general. 时 means time; period; season. This is a different person from the Qing Shi mentioned in the Prologue. Whenever Yun Cheng reminisces on the past, he is thinking of the Qing Shi mentioned in the Prologue. Whenever Yun Cheng is in the present, he is with the Qing Shi dancing girl. Yun Cheng probably asked this dancer girl to enter his household  because she shares the same name as the person he yearns for.

Yun Cheng was startled as his lips began to continuously repeat the dancer’s name. After quite awhile, he suddenly spoke, “Are you willing to enter my household?”

The scene silenced. All the guests appraised this dancer curiously. As the Protector General had never taken a wife or a concubine, it was their first time hearing such a request.  Qing Shi became disheartened as she accepted the decree and knelt to kowtow. Her pupils were dark as she said, “This servant thanks the general.”

A servant helped her wash her face and rinse her mouth. She was then given a gauzy fabric to wear and sent to the general’s room. She did not know how long she had waited before the banquet finished. Qing Shi fisted her two hands into two balls tightly. Her body was so cold that she began to tremble.

The door to the room was opened, and Yun Cheng entered the room. The moment he walked in, he saw the shivering Qing Shi and was startled. Presently, he shook his head and laughed in spite of himself, “These servants who act on their own initiative!”

He went outside and yelled, “Come, someone bring her red clothes over.”

Yun Cheng waited on the other side of the screen, waiting for Qing Shi to finish changing into her clothes. The flames of the candle in the outer room cast his tall and straight silhouette onto the screen. Qing Shi was full of misgivings. She had once heard of the legendary Yun Cheng, who became a Protector General. He had been extraordinary all his life, and had lived through three dynasties.

With her shoulder, her waist and the position of her dress, Yun Cheng painted the girl’s form with difficulty. He looked up at Qing Shi and looked down again. How come he couldn’t draw her face? What did it look like? The figure in his memories was extremely fuzzy. He closed his eyes in deep thought, but it became even more indistinct. What did she look like…

Putting down his brush, Yun Cheng was extremely frustrated as he looked at the figure of the girl on the paper. The black eyes that had filled numerous people with fear were filled with helplessness, extreme helplessness.

How come… he couldn’t remember?

 —

***Just a reminder that when Qing Shi is in italics, it refers to the Princess Qing Shi from the prologue!

As he fell into a deep sleep, the figure of the girl clothed in red seemed to merge with the scarlet wedding dress from back then. He saw the pear blossoms fall like snow in the courtyard, one after another. The servant girl waited upon her and helped her put on her complicated wedding clothes… this was the last step in completing the wedding garment- adorning her beautifully to send her away to a foreign monarch whom she had never seen before.

The window had not yet closed. Qing Shi’s gaze looked past the copper mirror and fell on the man outside. Without caring what the servants behind her were still altering, she stood up. The servants were all shocked. “Princess?”

“You may all leave,” she indifferently ordered. Though the servants were puzzled, they did not dare go against her orders. When the maids passed the man, they alarmed him. He turned around, as his gaze passed through the courtyard and clicked with that of her own. The plum blossoms in the courtyard slightly rustled as they fell and the breeze swayed Qing Shi’s hair that had not been bound yet. She slowly walked out of the room, and stood in the courtyard, calling him. “Yun Cheng.”

The man outside of the courtyard walked in and knelt in front of her, “This servant is here.”

“In the tenth year of Mingguang [2], my Imperial Father made you the leader of the Imperial bodyguards, but why did you not go?” Qing Shi’s sudden question made Yun Cheng stumped for words. He had not replied when Qing Shi spoke again, “In the first year of the Yuanbao dynasty, the high general wished to confer you the title of general, but why did you reject him?”

[2] Mingguang- A Chinese era name. Does not refer to a specific dynasty or emperor, but was just a name of the era of a specific time period within a dynasty, given by the emperor. This era is most likely made up. The author does not give the name of an emperor or a dynasty either, so that is probably irrelevant.

Why… Yun Cheng bitterly laughed in his heart. Why else? He silently lowered his head, waiting for Qing Shi’s next words.

After a silence, Qing Shi spoke forthrightly, hardly avoiding the taboo topic, “I don’t mind it if you were to like me.”

He had never dared to face his deep feelings that he had always hidden in his heart. When he suddenly heard Qing Shi speak of his lowly feelings, Yun Cheng looked up at her foolishly, forgetting the so-called etiquette between ranks.

Qing Shi lowered her head and looked at him. Then, she crouched down with him and looked straight into his black pupils, just like when they would catch long-horned grasshoppers in the underbrush when they were little. Both their faces would become filthy. The moment they looked up at each other, their faces would touch, and they would laugh foolishly at each other. They were clearly so close.

“Like me.” If there were any doubts about any of the words she had just said, the words she spoke now were certain. Qing Shi looked at him fixedly, waiting for him to nod in assent.

Though he was reluctant to leave her gaze for a long time, Yun Cheng still looked down again, “Princess, tomorrow you are going to be… married off. Please rest more.”

As she could not see his eyes, it would be a lie to say that she was not disappointed. Qing Shi’s gaze also fell on the floor, as she looked at his hands that looked rough from learning martial arts at a young age. It was these hands that had always protected her and accompanied her, never to leave her. “I will only ask you one more time,” Qing Shi dimly spoke again, “If I want to leave, will you take me away?”

She would let go of her status as the princess of the Qi nation, abandon her responsibilities, and renounce the sovereign king and the people, as she embraced her pitiful wishes. It was thus that she asked him intimately and without any dignity-

Was he willing to take her away?

He lifted his head, stunned, as he looked up at Qing Shi with shock. He didn’t dare believe she would ask something like this. But seeing the seriousness on her face, Yun Cheng fisted his hands, and suddenly fell upon the ground, bending his head to pay his respects. His voice was hoarse as he said, “This lowly servant… cannot.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, or that he wasn’t willing, but he could not. Yun Cheng… he had always lived his life honestly.

Qing Shi slightly curved her mouth. At an angle that Yun Cheng could not see, her almond-like pupils finally became moist, filled with countless despair. However, from her expectations, she had also come to her own understanding, “I know, I know… but I like you.”

She returned to her room, and sat in front of her window as she silently fiddled with the hairpins among the various head accessories. The window had still not closed; Yun Cheng was still guarding her outside the courtyard. From this angle, Qing Shi could see his back from a glance. She called him, “Yun Cheng.” The man looked back, and Qing Shi looked at the item in her hand. From Yun Cheng’s perspective, she was closing her eyes and resting. The pear blossoms in the courtyard swirled in the air. It almost seemed as if the Queen Mother of the West’s hairpin* had created an unreachable distance between them, “Tomorrow, you do not need to leave the Capital with me.”

*Wang Mu Niang Niang, Queen Mother of the West, is the Chinese Daoist goddess of life, fertility and immortality. She has immense power and is often depicted as the wife of the Jade Emperor.

Yun Cheng was shocked, as his mind went blank momentarily.

“After I leave the Capital, you will no longer be my Imperial bodyguard.”

Did this mean, she… didn’t want him anymore? Did this mean that they would never meet again…

Yun Cheng clenched his fist as he nodded and assented with a low tone.

Chapters 3-4

At that moment, his heart was stabbed with pain and frustration, but after he woke up his muddy pupils were full of bits of regret and pleasant surprise. He immediately felt for the brush on his desk. However, right when he was about to draw, he found that the ink on the brush had already dried up, and there was no longer any ink left in the inkstone.

The figure in his mind was fleeting. In the next moment, he immediately forgot everything.

His old face immediately closed up with disappointment. The Protector General, who had made the rest of the world revere him, revealed an expression as helpless as that of a child.

With a sigh, he powerlessly leaned back on his chair [1]. Last night, he had unexpectedly leaned forward on his desk and had fallen asleep in this manner. Yun Cheng bitterly laughed. As he kept getting older, he kept having incidents like this. He would inadvertently lift his eyes , and the sunlight would penetrate his pupils, as the girl in front of his desk remained still. She lifted her head, slightly closing her eyes, clad in all red. She resembled the Qing Shi who had bent her head down in his dreams. It was then, that Yun Cheng momentarily lost his senses.

[1] His chair was more appropriately named the Imperial Tutor chair. The Imperial Tutor chair was the only chair with a name from an official position. It was originally a chair only for government officials, symbolizing power and status. It was placed in the palace, inside government offices, and inside households. When it was placed inside households, it symbolized the status of the Master of the household.

He did not know how he arrived in front of the girl, but when he reached out his old hand, he seemed to have travelled back in time  He touched the lively face of the person who was too beautiful for his eyes: “Qing Shi.” A simple name made his eyes moist. The girl from his memories lifted her eyes to look up at him, “Yun Cheng it doesn’t matter to me that you like me.”

Yes, I like you.

But, he would never be able to say these words. And she, she would never get to hear these words again.

Qing Shi’s brows furrowed as she slowly opened her eyes. The old face in front of her, that was almost within her reach, startled her immensely. She coldly hmphed, and waved her hand to throw his hand off. Then, she forcefully pushed him away. Yun Cheng wasn’t the least bit prepared so he drew back a few steps until he bumped into the desk. Qing Shi’s legs crumpled and she fell onto the ground. She looked at Yun Cheng with shock, but she only saw the Protector General support his waist as he hissed from the force. After some shock, Qing Shi’s face suddenly paled. She… had injured the Protector General?

When the servants outside heard the unusual change in the room, they pushed the door open and entered. When they saw the scene that was presented, someone berated, “You have guts…”

“All right.” The servant hadn’t finished when Yun Cheng cut him off, “Help her settle in.” These mere words made everyone able to understand the General’s mood.

Qing Shi stayed in the General’s estate, but Yun Cheng never touched her. He wished for her to wear red clothes, and he only liked to watch her sit down quietly, but he was kinder to her than anyone else. A rumor went around the streets that the General had been so captivated by her, that he fell head over heels in love with her. Though Qing Shi never said anything about that, she could not conceal the happiness she felt.

It was on another day, when the sun shone brightly, and Yun Cheng and her sat down for a meal. But today, the dishes were much simpler than what they usually were. “Even though the dishes are simple and crude, I made all of this myself. How is it?”

Qing Shi was startled. The General had personally cooked for her… her face reddened as she slightly nodded.

“Today is your birthday. I didn’t know what to give to you, so I could only make you a few dishes that you like.” Yun Cheng spoke nervously like he was currying favor with someone else’s child. “If it doesn’t taste good, you can scold me.”

Qing Shi blanked out for a moment. Today wasn’t her birthday… this sentence bubbled up in her throat, but then she swallowed it down. She glanced at the dishes on the table. Many of them weren’t dishes that she liked. Almost as if realizing something, Qing Shi looked at Yun Cheng, seeing the warmth in his eyes directed towards her. But his eyes never focused on her, as if…

—

After her coming of age ceremony, Qing Shi sat in her courtyard gazing at the brightness of the moon. She had still not taken off her exquisite and complicated clothing. Her mouth flattened, telling of her displeasure.

After Yun Cheng finished his Imperial bodyguard deployment matters, he went to the Princess’s courtyard, and immediately saw that she hadn’t closed the door to her courtyard again and was just sitting there. Her face looked up at the moon with an indistinct quiet coldness. Yun Cheng knit his brows silently, She wasn’t happy? Why?

But no matter how much he wanted to make her happy, he could not walk in. The Princess had already come of age, so she was now a grand lady. There was a difference in their genders, and also a difference in their statuses.

Yun Cheng lowered his head, thinking of Qing Shi’s figure at the coming of age ceremony. He had never seen their differences this clearly before. She was the proud daughter of the heavens, a star from the sky. No matter how much he looked up at her, no matter whether he stood on his tiptoes, he could never be able to touch her.

As his palms tightened, Yun Cheng took a step back and guarded the outside of the courtyard. Suddenly, he heard porcelain being smashed from within. Yun Cheng was shocked, and he turned around and looked at Qing Shi who stood inside the courtyard. He only saw her stand up, and viciously look at him. Yun Cheng did not understand, so Qing Shi shouted, “Come in!”

Yun Cheng obediently walked inside the courtyard. Qing Shi glared at him for a long time. Seeing that he had not said a word this whole time, she finally couldn’t bear it, and loudly said, “Where’s my present?!” She spread out her fine hand, as if she was about to snatch something from him, and shoved her hand in front of him, “Where’s my present?!”

Under the moon, the finely made hair clip in her hair made Yun Cheng’s eyes blur. His hand clenched as he hid the object inside his sleeve more thoroughly. He hung his head: “Sorry, I… this servant does not have it…”

Qing Shi became angrier. “Lies! A few days ago I obviously…” She bit her lip and swallowed the rest of her words. Her outstretched palm was still in front of him, but it trembled noticeably. She lowered her eyes, her eyes rimmed with red.

Actually, how could Qing Shi not know what Yun Cheng was being apprehensive about? She knew that when she had gotten on the stage for the ceremony, this man had looked at her with an expression that revealed his loneliness. As companions for many years, she could tell that as the days passed, they were beginning to become farther and farther apart. He called himself a lowly servant, and bowed to her. They were drifting apart, and she… she felt afraid, that one day their conversation would become the lamentable strict order and answer.

As he gazed upon the girl who lowered her head, Yun Cheng’s heart softened. The pain stemming from his heart suppressed all the feelings he bore inside of his heart. He slowly took out the hairpin he hid in his sleeve, and softly said, “I did not make it well.”

Qing Shi looked at the hairpin inside his palm with a bit of surprise. Yun Cheng’s ears became redder. “I kept on grinding it, until it became like this. Even though it is not pretty, you can use it to protect yourself.” His eyes drifted from place to place until they landed on a pear tree nearby, but he didn’t dare look at her. “If you don’t like it, you can scold me.”

Holding the hair pin, Qing Shi held it to her chest, treasuring it immensely. Her anger and restlessness from a moment ago was cooled, and she obediently nodded, “Okay.” Her mouth slowly widened into a smile, “I like it very much.” Her eyes curved as she smiled, as she reflected the poignant moonlight and looked at him, “I like it a lot.”

Yun Cheng quietly shifted eyes towards her, but when he saw Qing Shi’s smile the feelings in his heart all calmed. Vaguely, he remembered why he stayed by her side. Wasn’t it all for this- to see this bright and beautiful smile? Wasn’t it all… to see her happy?

“But…” Qing Shi pretended she was distressed as she said, “It seems this hairpin will be useless.”

Yun Cheng was startled.

“Because, you’ll always be by my side to protect me, right?”

——

As the bottom of his heart became limp and painful, he almost broke through the distance between his and her status to touch her face. His Princess was really such a rascal, actually asking for a promise in these types of circumstances. Yun Cheng helplessly laughed, and nodded earnestly. It already went without saying that he would always protect her… he would always protect her…

Suddenly, violent horse hoof sounds came from out of nowhere, breaking through the peace and quiet. His dream that was as beautiful as the moonlight was shattered. Qing Shi’s face dissipated in front of his eyes, and an urgent announcement for the Court to gather suddenly sounded, like a sudden clap of thunder. He could still remember that it was the year after Qing Shi was married into the Yue Nation, when the news from the border came…

The Yue Nation was in internal disorder. After the Princess of Qi married their Emperor, she was flogged to death by the rebel army.

“You will always protect me.”

The smile that she wore was like the sunlight he admired greatly in his world. He would never be able to see that type of brightness or beautifulness, and he would never be able to recall it again…

Chapters 5-6

When he first awoke from his afternoon nap, Yun Cheng opened his eyes on his bed but his spirit seemed to be stuck within his dream. When he sat up blankly, everything in front of him seemed like the illusory moon reflected within the water. He felt this place was where the true dream was. The true Yun Cheng only lived in a dream, existing in the past.

He still remembered the start of summer in that year. The Emperor of Yue had come to the Qi Nation to ask for help with the rebel army who was beating them up badly. The Emperor consented and lent some soldiers to them, with the promise that after they suppressed the rebellion, the Yue Nation would cede ten cities to the Qi Nation. It was also around that time that Yun Cheng did the most reckless thing he would ever do in his life. In front of all the officials and all of the monarchs, he broke away and lashed out at the Emperor of Yue.

He shouted, “Why have you run away? Where’s the Princess? Where’s the Princess of Qi? Where’s…” my most precious Qing Shi?! Yun Cheng had handed her over to another emperor. Originally, she had been worthy of that emperor overturning the world for her, and worthy of that emperor’s kindness, but he had let her die from flogging!

He hadn’t expected that after he vented his anger, he would be sent to  prison. Three days later, the Emperor personally came to  visit him, “Are you willing to acknowledge your sins and go to the Yue Nation to suppress the armed rebellion?”

He lifted his head and looked at the Emperor. “Your majesty, will settling the rebellion bring back the Princess’s remains to the Qi Nation? Qing Shi… she must really want to come home.”

The Emperor was silent. After a sigh, he said, “If you can find her, then  bring her home.”

Without the slightest hesitation, Yun Cheng draped the bladed leather over his body, and travelled to the Yue Nation. On the battlefield, Yun Cheng was exactly like a killing machine-  whenever he came across the Yue State’s rebel army, there would not be a good ending. Daily, he slaughtered people; his heart was full of profound viciousness. He couldn’t sleep soundly at night, and the pain in his heart merged into   an unerasable hatred. It burned luminously in him, day and night, making him unable to stay still, like maggots nibbling away to the bone, devouring him until he became clean, inch by inch…

His emotions bubbled forth. He didn’t think that even now, he would be unable to think about the past without his heart beating unevenly.

A “ge da” sound came from outside. Yun Cheng put on his clothes and walked out, and saw Qing Shi near his desk. She was currently looking at the painting on his desk.  When Yun Cheng walked over, Qing Shi was startled and slightly bowed, “General.”

Yun Cheng nodded. He looked her over  again. “How come you aren’t wearing your red clothes today?”

Qing Shi looked down. “My clothes… got dirty.” She softly finished, as her fingers stroked the fine writing paper on the desk lightly. “General, how come… this painting doesn’t have a face?” She could tell that the person in the painting was a she, but the charm and grace that this person had was completely different from her own. In addition, none of his paintings had a face, almost as if another spirit was living among these paintings.

Yun Cheng walked in front of her and silently rolled up his paintings. “I’ve already forgotten what the face looks like.” He softly answered, his words bringing a trace of a sad sigh with them.

He had once thought that he would forever remember Qing Shi’s face, no matter what happened in the future. But, how long was the future? In the endlessness of the years that surpassed his memories, he gradually forgot her voice, and slowly, he forgot her face. Time scraped his bones more sharply than the most merciless sword, scratching the Qing Shi in his head until she became little bits and pieces, until she could never be pieced together again.

Forgot? Qing Shi silently sized up Yun Cheng. She had numerous questions she wanted to ask. Who is the girl in the painting? Who did he see Qing Shi as? Why would he forget her face? But Qing Shi did not forget her own status; she did not have the right to ask those questions.

Qing Shi smiled. “Sir, you have napped for a long while today. I have made some gruel for you to relieve your tiredness.”

Yun Cheng nodded, and watched as Qing Shi brought the gruel over to him. He took the gruel, and slightly started. His eyes fell upon Qing Shi’s face, as he took in her gentle smile, her bent brows, and the the brightness that came from the sun washing over her. Yun Cheng lost his senses for a moment.

When he placed the gruel to his lips, the light fragrance swirled about his nose. Yun Cheng laughed and then raised his head to drink some. Then, he extended his hand and lightly patted Qing Shi’s head.

—

Tonight, Yun Cheng dreamed of a very young Qing Shi. She was still a little girl that resembled a meatball. That year, his family suffered a reversal of good fortune, and he was sold to the Princess’s residence as a servant. The first time he saw Qing Shi was at night when the little Princess had snuck out to the pond to catch fireflies. She grabbed for them for a long time, but didn’t manage to catch any. When he reached his hand out, he grabbed a firefly and gave it to her. The big eyes on the round face of the little girl looked at him with admiration, as her chubby and pudgy lips yelled, “Oh oh!”

“Big brother is so amazing.”

Back when he owned property, he didn’t feel he was inferior to other people. He said, “They’re everywhere. It’s easy to catch them.”

The meatball princess clasped the firefly he had given her, as she muttered angrily, “Qing Shi can’t catch them!”

His heart softened, and he patted the princess’s head. “I’ll help you.”

After they caught a bag full of fireflies, Qing Shi began to laugh. Later, Yun Cheng thought, perhaps it had started then when he lost his resistance to that type of laugh.

Later, the servant who was waiting upon Qing Shi found her and scolded Yun Cheng, allowing him to say nothing in his defense.That servant had seniority over him, which meant that he could not rebut her. He became so flushed with anger that his face turned red. It was Qing Shi who bit that person, and stumbled along as she hugged his elbow. “Scold me! Qing Shi was wrong so scold me! Don’t bully big brother!”

Afterwards, he became the princess’s respected bodyguard. Qing Shi treated him differently from everyone else.In turn, he did all he could to make up for the difference between them, but no matter how hard he tried, he still fell short of her in an irrevokable way.　

At daybreak, Qing Shi cooked some more gruel for him, and he silently drank it.

He wanted to use everything he had to make up for that deficiency. Even if the part that he wanted to make up for was only related to Qing Shi a tiny bit, to him, that tiny part was better than nothing.

Springtime left, as  autumn settled in. The General became ill, and could not rise from his bed.

Concerned, the Emperor sent some imperial physicians over to take a look, but they all said the same thing. His qi was deficient and his body was weak. Everyone believed that Yun Cheng had really arrived at the end of his life. On the other hand, Yun Cheng didn’t feel this was anything bad. Everyday he got to sleep more, and thus he could dream of Qing Shi more. Even if their past was painful, after Yun Cheng woke up with a clear mind, he still felt their memories were full of happiness at their core.

Everyday, Qing Shi stayed next to his bed to serve him. On a day when the fragrance of some osmanthus flowers floated about in the breeze, Yun Cheng, who had been sleeping soundly, seemed to have a nightmare. He began to turn to and fro, his lips murmuring various words. Qing Shi moved closer and listened, faintly feeling him call her name, “Qing Shi, Qing Shi…”, as if he wanted to carve these words into his bones and ultimately, into his heart. Even if he died, he could not allow himself to forget those words.

Qing Shi sat there blankly, inadvertently noticing a flat wooden box by Yun Cheng’s pillow. He had never shared the same bed with her, so this was something Qing Shi had never noticed before. Her heart tensed, but in the end she curiously took the box out.

The face of the box was very glossy, like it had been caressed countless times. When she opened the little lock, there was a red silk cloth covering the bottom of the box, and there were only ten pieces of hair on top of the red cloth. They had been cherished by someone and they were rolled up together with red rope.

Qing Shi could not help but extend her hand and softly fondle the long hair. It appeared as if the hair had been there for many years. This hair was already somewhat dried up, but Qing Shi could imagine that this hair had been very beautiful at one point in time.

Chapters 7-8

(If Yun Cheng could have brought her home… he would have. But as it was, he didn’t even get the chance to hear her say “You’ve come too late. I am very mad at you.” Courtesy of Ibuki Satsuki.)

Cough. Yun Cheng coughed slowly and gradually woke up.  When he saw the box in Qing Shi’s hand, his expression changed, as his eyes were immediately filled with harshness. “Give it over.” His voice was weak and hoarse, but the implicit murderous spirit within his voice made Qing Shi startled, as the wooden box fell from her hands onto the bed. The hair that was bundled up, fell out.

Yun Cheng sat up, and put the hair back. He glared at Qing Shi coldly. “You are not allowed to touch certain things.” When he finished, he tried to control himself and coughed a bit. “It’s alright to cook gruel, to have secret ties with the Yue Nation, or to map out the General’s residence. I’ve allowed you to do all these things, but don’t touch my bottom line.”

Qing Shi was shocked. “You…”

“Get out.”

He knew everything. Qing Shi was terrified. This person knew everything, but he had never said anything about it, and he had never tried to denounce her one bit. Why… Was it really because his doting had manifested in her? Or, was it because of the ingrained memory of another woman in his heart?

After Qing Shi left, Yun Cheng exhaustedly closed his eyes.

His meritorious deeds had been brought about by the withering of the Yue Nation. Sometimes, he would ponder the grave sins that he had committed in his lifetime, but how could he not hate people of the Yue Nation? When he thought about that dreamland from before, his brows knit.

That year, in the depths of winter, he had forced his way into the capital of the Yue Nation, and led soldiers into the imperial palace. He assisted the Emperor of Yue back onto his throne, but when he proposed taking Qing Shi’s corpse back to his country, no one dared agree. After getting to the heart of the matter, he found out that those Yue people had actually defiled her bones and scattered her ashes, sprinkling them on a barren hill outside the imperial city.

Yun Cheng was greatly grieved. He almost couldn’t stay standing as he asked, “Where is she?”

The people in the palace who had survived the armed rebellion brought him there. Nothing grew on the barren hill except miscanthus. “You people… weren’t even willing to seek a piece of shade for Qing Shi.” Yun Cheng gritted his teeth, hating the Yue people to his bones. However, the people behind him said, “This is what the Empress wanted.”

Yun Cheng was stumped for words. A person from the palace said, “When the Empress was severely injured, she ordered us to burn her and scatter her ashes here, if she was to die. She said, this wind could take her home.”

The mountain wind whistled, raising his hair on end. Yun Cheng looked out, and felt his hair sway, as it began to blow towards their motherland. His body seemed to twist about him painfully, from the inside out, putting him in so much pain that he did not wish to live. He slightly bent at his waist and covered his stomach, as some blood rose in his throat.

She wanted to return home; she had always wanted to return home. He had promised her before, that he would always protect her, but he did not accomplish this. In the end, he could not even glance at her again. He was even incapable of bringing her corpse back home… He… was practically useless.

“Yun Cheng, if I want to leave, will you bring me away?”

That question surfaced from the deepest depths of his mind yet again, making him perplexed. If life could repeat itself, even if he had to fight to the death, he would bring her away. However, regrets were worthless, and regret was incapable of making up for his deficiencies…

Qing Shi did not cook gruel for Yun Cheng again. Yun Cheng never asked her about it either. He only leaked some news out for the Emperor. This was Qing Shi’s nation, and Qing Shi’s home. No matter what he did, he could not allow this country to undertake the consequences.

But even if he did not drink the gruel any longer, Yun Cheng’s body continued to grow weaker and weaker. He began to sleep more and more, and his dreams became weirder and weirder. Sometimes, his dreams stemmed from his memories, but other times, he dreamed of things outside his memories. He could no longer distinguish between  and dreams reality.

—

The rebel army of the Yue Nation listed the crimes of the Yue Emperor, as well as the faults of the Qi Nation. They tied Qing Shi to a punishment rack and allowed everyone to see her sorry figure. They wanted to show the citizens that they had the means to bind the noble Princess of Qi and the Emperor of Yue, and crush them underneath their feet.

Qing Shi’s eyes despondently looked out at the horizon, almost like a doll without any soul. Her eyes continued to steadfastly look in that direction, as her gaze seemed to pierce through the crowd, one person after another, pierce through the thick, tall city wall, and wander to the Capital of the Qi Nation, a thousand li [1] away. She was familiar with all the great streets and small alleys in that city. There was the Princess residence and Yun Cheng, standing outside her courtyard, and her garden full of pear blossoms.

One man used his gentlest gaze to look into her eyes. She would leap over thousands of mountains and tens of thousands of oceans, all to stay by his side.

They flogged her, but in their words, they were flogging the Qi Nation and the face of the Emperor of Yue. Only Yun Cheng knew that Qing Shi liked capturing little bugs in the summer nights the most. What she treasured most was the broken hairpin that he had gifted her. What she said most was…

“Yun Cheng.”

She was only that sort of girl.

The people who stood below the punishment rack erupted into loud cheers. The person on the punishment rack looked out in an unknown direction, until she could no longer lift her head, until she could no longer speak. She softly closed her eyes, and finally sighed, “Yun Cheng…”

He said, he would protect her forever.

But in the end, she hadn’t managed to hold on until he came.

Dying from a flogging…

When he woke up from his nightmare, Yun Cheng was covered in cold sweat. He covered his tightening heart. It was so painful that his body curled up. On the battlefield, even when he had suffered severe injuries, he had never become weak, but the Yun Cheng at this moment had muddy eyes and fuzzy vision. Qing Shi, Qing Shi. She had really made him give all he had to this lifetime.

He struggled with himself on the bed that night. The next day, he was extremely energized. He said he wanted to go to the Prayer Terrace to pray, and no one dared hold him back. The Protector General, who had been alive for three dynasties now walked to Prayer Terrace like he was taking a walk. This was a divine and sacred place from the very beginning.

He stood on the center of the praying stage, and looked up at the blue dome of heaven. He thought, Did Qing Shi gaze also at the same sky he was now looking at? Was her mood at that time the same as his mood now? Pain and helplessness, love yet regret. He stooped down and slowly looked around the stage. After that, he bent his head down and knelt for three kowtows. “I wish the state will last forever, may my country and Chang’an both prosper.” His voice was very weak and hoarse, as his forehead stuck to the ground. Quite a while passed, but he still did not lift his head.

As the breeze on the platform blew by, Yun Cheng slowly stood up, trembling. He surveyed his surroundings, only seeing an emptiness. Yun Cheng laughed, feeling that he had become muddled and confused due to old-age. What was the point of doing these things? It was almost as if he wanted to call Qing Shi’s spirit back.

He shook his head, and walked down from the praying platform. When he passed by the spot where he had once stood as an imperial bodyguard, he halted his steps. Behind him, the warm breeze felt unhurried. Carelessly, he turned around and looked, like the sunshine had gotten his position wrong. He looked at the plum blossoms covering the entire sky, before they rained down. Princess Qing Shi stood there on the platform, wearing her red garb, with her wide sleeves. Her gaze was somewhat provocative, and somewhat bleak, but most of her gaze felt affectionate, as she looked at him.

Time seemed to turn back ten years. Now, it was still the Sacrifice Day Ceremony that took place that year, with the King and the officials attending the ritual.

He was clothed in the old armor that he had worn as an imperial bodyguard. He took slow steps forward, and extended his hand, but he had forgotten everything. “Qing Shi, I’ll bring you back.”

“Let’s… go home.”

The Princess’s cold eyes softened in an instant. Her lips raised, and her eyebrows curved. “Yes.”

Epilogue

Together at last… Courtesy of Ibuki Satsuki

The Protector General, Yun Cheng, died.

Qing Shi took a wooden box from underneath the pillow on Yun Cheng’s bed. After careful examination, she found a lightly engraved name on the edge of the box. She thought about it, and then suddenly understood everything. She silently fastened the box and left, throwing the box into the massive fire in the courtyard.

That item was for Yun Cheng.

After the Princess of Qi, Qing Shi died, there was a man who hadn’t lived since. He used his entire life as a sacrifice to her.

The End