I don't know.

I want something really badly but I know that I can't have it.

I'm well aware of what the results may be, and I'm perfectly capable of handling myself and continuing to excel in this situation. I need this competitive environment and I need to be surrounded by people who think similarly or at least on the same level as I do.

This would shape my future, preparing me and catapulting me in the direction that I want to go in at this point in my life. I want to follow one of the very few passions I have and hone the little talent that I have.

I can't do that where I am.

I want to go so badly.

It's not like I'd be missed that much. They can visit whenever and I could go home on weekends. I could call the few friends that aren't too annoyed by my presence. I could be out of the way, improving other lives while at the same time vastly improving my own.

Please.

But no.