"Barry, you can't!" Caitlin pleads.

"Cait, I have to go." Barry says apologetically, and runs out of the lab. They had just discovered that the meta was turning into the poisonous gas and he was attacking someone at the mall. There was no way to stop him right now. Barry had just left on a suicide mission. Caitlin couldn't help but feel the deja vu from when Ronnie had said those exact words to her when he ran to prevent the particle accelerator from killing everyone at the labs. She was going to lose him too. She was going to lose Barry...

She quickly made her way out to her car and back to S.T.A.R. Labs so she knew what was happening. When she got there, she walked into the cortex, at first immediately relieved to see Barry in the room. Coughing. Why was he coughing. Oh god.

She ran over to the med bed to see what had happened. Dr. Wells explained and she only heard parts of it, completely distracted by the look of pain and panic on Barry's face. She turned to look at Wells.

"We need to get the gas out." He explained more directly.

Caitlin quickly looked for the syringe to extract the gas from his lungs, cringing at how much she knew this was going to hurt. Cisco was trying to comfort Barry, telling him he wouldn't feel it.

"You're definitely going to feel it." Caitlin corrected as she punctured Barry's chest with the needle, feeling her heart drop when Barry shot up gasping in pain at what she had just done to him. Sometimes being a doctor sucked.

Once the sample was secured and Cisco took it to run some tests, Caitlin sat there next to Barry, patching him up, clenching her teeth and avoiding the urge to glare at the dumb boy sitting next to her.

"My chest feels like that one time I smoked a cigarette." Barry says, trying to lighten the mood.

Caitlin shoots him a surprised look. Not because he smoked, but that, of all things, that was what he chose to say.

"Yeah, teen me lived for danger." He smirked.

Smug jerk. Almost got himself killed and he's making jokes. Why was he so much like Ronnie? He was going to be the death of her.

"It's not funny, Barry. You could've"

"I didn't." He stops her putting one hand on her arms that was still patching him up. He smiles at her, noticing the look of concern on her face.

She finished fixing him and looked at his face, a reassuring smile staring back at her. She stopped for just a second too long looking into his green eyes before she noticed his smile wavering and she walked away.

After Barry stopped The Mist later that day, almost dying, again... Caitlin sat there with her head between her arms on the desk. Wells wheeled up behind her.

"Caity.." he said softly, placing his hand on her back. "Come with me, I want to show you something."

She stood up and followed him. It took her a minute to realize he was taking her to the pipeline. When she did, she froze.

"It's okay, I promise. Just trust me." He smiled up at her.

She walked into the pipeline behind him and that night came flooding back to her.

***

The night of the particle accelerator explosion...

Caitlin looked to Cisco in horror realizing what Ronnie had just said. He was going to sacrifice himself so the explosion didn't destroy the building. This was it. Cisco looked at her with equal amounts of horror.

"Ronnie..." She squeaked out, trying and failing to hold back the tears.

"Caitlin," he spoke over the communicator. "I love you."

"I" Caitlin started but was stopped when the communicator cut out and another loud bang was heard.

"Ronnie!" Caitlin yelled, being pulled back by Cisco who still wasn't sure how safe they were this close to the accelerator.

Another loud bang and Caitlin and Cisco backed away from the doors, looking at each other.

The next thing they knew, both of them were being thrown back into the hallway, sliding across the floor and being stopped abruptly by the wall.

When they woke up, bits of the ceiling could be seen all around them, and they both had some significant bruising and cuts on them from the debris and the impact of their bodies on the floor and the wall. Caitlin lay there in realization at what had just happened. She hugged her knees to her chest, ignoring the pain in her body, and broke down crying. Cisco inched over to her, sat her upright, and wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face in her shoulder and cried with her.

They sat there like this for hours until paramedics made their way to them, having searched the entire building for injured employees. Caitlin sat on her own med bed while some paramedics in training stitched her and Cisco up and gave them some pain meds, strongly advising that they go home and get some rest.

They both stayed there that night. Sitting in silence in the cortex. Imagining what would've happened if everything had gone as planned. Finally realizing just how wrong everything had gone.

***

"Caity" Dr. Wells interrupted her thoughts.

Caitlin took a seat on the ledge inside the pipeline to be eye level with the seated Wells.

"I know that so much was taken from you in this room," he started. "But moving forward means facing these things. Facing this room."

She looks at him and nods, agreeing.

"I want you to know that I understand if you need time. And that I am here to face this room with you. Whenever you need. I think we can make this room part of something...good." He stops, surprised to hear her laugh.

"I'm sorry. I just expected you to say something more pretentious than 'good'." She admitted, smirking at him.

He held her hand in his.

"Something good sounds...good" She says, breaking the silence. She looks around the room, trying to picture it as something other than the place where she lost him. Not yet. But maybe soon she could.

The two head back up to the cortex to find Barry spinning around in a chair at high speed and Cisco standing behind the desk with a timer. To no one's surprise except apparently Cisco's and Barry's, the chair broke and Barry stood, immediately losing balance and falling to the floor.

Caitlin covers her face with her hand, while Cisco doubles over in laughter and Dr. Wells shakes his head. She makes her way over to the injured boy on the floor and gives him a pitiful smile while she helps him over to the bed.

As she finishes relocating his shoulder and making sure he doesn't have a lasting head injury, he turns to sit at the edge of the bed facing her. She sits in her chair next to him, waiting for him to speak.

"I'm sorry I scared you today." He says softly.

She smiles at him. "Don't be. You're always going to be running into danger, so I should get used to it. I just would prefer you not run in carelessly," he starts to interrupt but she stops him. "But I realize that's not always possible with the...pace you work at." She says, smirking at him.

He smiles back. "Would you wanna grab a drink or something? I think we've both had a bit of an emotional day." Barry referencing him having to save Joe and Caitlin having to face some memories of Ronnie.

"I'd love to. But some other time. I'm cooking for Wells tonight." She says casually. Not noticing the confused look on Barry's face.

"I guess I never thought about how many things he might have trouble with now that he's in a wheelchair." Barry said, mostly as a question to see if this is why she's cooking for him.

"I mean, yes, a lot of things are more difficult now." She starts, just now thinking the same thing. "He was a terrible cook before the accident too though. I try to go over and cook or bring food anytime I can."

Barry nods, suddenly realizing some subtle things he's seen over the last few weeks of knowing them.

"So, you and Wells," He starts.

"No!" Caitlin interrupts. "God, no!" She starts laughing. "He's like a dad to me. He..uhm," she stops, realizing the next sentence will probably require more of an explanation than Barry might be ready for. "He practically raised me."

Barry furrows his eyebrows in curiosity, urging her to go on.

She takes a deep breath and begins.