"What are you so afraid of?"

97. the pain you left behind

QUINN

     THE RAIN HAD CHANGED FROM A heavy fall to a soft drizzle. Between the clouds the morning sun had climbed into the sky, lighting up the destruction they had left in their wake. From their position on the edge of the forest, Quinn could see two bodies laying in the grass behind the fence that surrounded the compound. All her compassion and regret was burned away by the ache in her arm. She held it close to her chest, trying to find a position in which it didn't hurt. Though it wasn't her arm she was worried about at the moment.

Currently she was being held at gunpoint, together with Carol and Maggie, by a few survivors from the group inside the satellite station, one of whom was her father. The last time she saw him had been at the start of the apocalypse. Only then he'd been drunk and passed out. Now he was standing tall, holding the gun in his hands without so much as a tremble in his muscles. The woman who seemed to be in charge made sure he wasn't the one guarding her and so instead the gun pointed at her face was held by a girl who seemed only a few years younger than her.

They'd been brought here after being captured and the woman in charge was currently staring through her binoculars at their group. Five minutes ago they had come stumbling out of the compound chasing after someone who had tried to escape. They had him on the ground now, their guns pointed at him and even from this distance Quinn could see every single one of them was alive and unharmed. The relief shooting through her system at the sight made her shiver. Though they were unaware of them being captured. Quinn had no idea what this woman was planning but she was pretty sure she wasn't going to like it.

The man who'd been shot was complaining loudly while the elderly woman tried to bind his wound and Quinn tried her hardest to shut their voices out while looking at her family. Just on the other side of that fence but impossibly far away at the same time.

'Give me the walkie,' the woman suddenly said, holding out her hand.

The man handed it to her. 'Paula, what's happening?' He questioned.

She didn't answer and turned on the walkie instead. 'Lower your gun, prick.'

Quinn could see the group looking around but they were too far away to make out their expressions.

'You with the Colt Python. All of you lower your weapons right now.'

For a second there was nothing but silence when suddenly the walkie clicked and Rick's voice came through. 'Come on out. Let's talk.'

'How many we got?' The older woman asked.

'Nine in sight,' Paula responded. 'Too many.'

'No we can take them,' the man said, 'we took more.'

Paula looked at him before turning back forward and turning on the walkie once again. 'We're not coming out but we will talk.' She turned the walkie off and turned towards them. 'Names,' she demanded but the three of them stayed silent. 'Names!'

Maggie took a deep breath. 'I'm Maggie, that's Quinn and she's Carol.'

'We've got a Carol, a Quinn and a Maggie,' Paula spoke through the walkie. 'I'm thinking that's something you wanna chat about. We're gonna work this out right now and it's going to go our way.'

Her heart was beating nervously in her chest. She didn't dare turn around to look at her father, afraid of what she might see in his eyes but she didn't dare look at the group for a moment longer either, afraid she might see either Daryl or Milo and her resolve would break.

'You can see we have one of yours,' Rick spoke through the walkie. 'We'll trade.'

'I'm listening,' Paula replied.

'First I wanna talk to Maggie, Carol and Quinn, make sure they're alright.'

Paula came walking to them. 'I'm gonna put you on, you say you're fine. I'll know if you try anything else.' She held the walkie up for Carol.

'Rick, it's Carol, I'm fine but-' she got cut off by Paula scoffing and moving the walkie to Maggie. 'Now you.'

'Rick, it's Maggie. We're both okay. We'll figure this out.' 'Shut up.'

Paula walked over to Quinn and held the walkie near her mouth. 'It's Quinn, I'm okay,' she said and as soon as she was done talking Paula stepped away from her.

'You have your proof, let's talk,' Paula said.

'All right, this is the deal, right here. Let them go, you can have your guy back and live.'

'Three for one, that's not much of a trade.'

She said the exact words Quinn had been afraid she'd say. Because it was the truth. The situation wasn't looking good for them.

'You don't have another choice,' Rick replied, 'or you would've done something about it already.'

'We have to get him back,' the wounded man said.

'Primo can take care of himself,' Paula told him, seeming to be thinking.

'He can patch me up!' He protested. He turned to look at Carol. 'I need him thanks to that bitch. You lost your balls Paula. You should've shot her in the head so they could hear her die.'

'If you could just shut up, I'll solve this,' Paula snapped back at him.

'We make the deal or we go in,' the man kept talking.

'She said "shut up", Donnie, so shut it,' the older woman said. 'You should be glad she doesn't have a sack of gonads to trip over.'

'Look, I know you're talking it over. It's a fair trade. Just come out, we do this, we all walk away.' Rick's voice came through the walkie once again.

The girl holding her gun pointed at Quinn scoffed. 'Smug prick. He must think we're stupid.'

'That's a good thing,' Paula told her.

'Do we have a deal?'

'I'll get back to you,' Paula said and shut the walkie off.

Then, without a warning, the girl stepped forward and pulled Quinn's jacket over her head, blinding her to her surroundings. She couldn't suppress a hiss of pain escaping her when her arm was forced in an uncomfortable position but no one seemed to care. Instead she was being pushed forward, her eyes on the ground to make sure she wouldn't trip over anything.

At first Quinn tried to remember which direction they were heading in but after a while she gave up. It was impossible to figure out if they were heading north or south if she couldn't see the sun. She was pretty sure Daryl would've been able to figure out simply by using the shadow of the trees on the ground but she pushed that thought away, not wanting to think about him. Everytime her thoughts wandered back to the others ice cold fear coursed through her veins. If this group hadn't been in the compound, maybe other groups were out here somewhere as well.

Her panic only became worse when the ground beneath her feet suddenly changed from the forest floor to asphalt. She could hear car doors being opened and soon she was being pushed inside. Her heart was beating like a war drum in her chest when her hands were being bound with tape. As the car started driving she could hear the walkie clicking and an unknown male voice came from the other side. So she'd been right, there were other groups out there. Paula gave them some vague coded instructions Quinn couldn't understand. The panic, the pain in her arm, it was all threatening to overwhelm her. She stretched out her hand as though she would find some sort of invisible life line and maybe, in some way, she did because her hand closed around the red piece of cloth Daryl had given her to press against her wound. She had put it in her back pocket to reach for her dagger when they had been attacked. For some reason she managed to calm herself with the piece of cloth in her fist. She started counting the seconds ticking by to figure out how long they'd been driving and because it gave her the illusion she was being useful.

She had counted about twenty minutes when the car was pulled over and she was being forced outside. When her feet hit the ground a sudden idea struck her. Quickly, before any of her captures would notice the piece of cloth in her bound hands, she dropped it to the ground. She knew car tracks were near impossible to follow/ The group would do their very best to follow their prints in the woods but then when they came across the road the trail would be dead. The piece of cloth wouldn't go unnoticed and so they had another trail to follow. They could see where the car pulled over and they'd gone back into the woods.

They followed a path through the forest and then suddenly stopped. The sound of a door being opened reached her ears. They entered a musty smelling hallway. The faint noise of familiar walker snarls echoed from somewhere within the building.

'I hate this damn place,' the older woman snarled. '"Safe house" there's nothing safe about it.'

'This place is gonna save our asses,' Paula replied coldly.

Quinn briefly wondered how these people had survived so long without killing each other. They hardly seemed to care about one another, like they were forced to survive together and stuck with each other out of necessity and she wondered how her father fit into it all. A sudden pang of longing for her family went through her but she forced it down as soon as it came. This wasn't the time to worry about such things.

She was pushed into a room and then forced on the ground. Finally her jacket was pulled back and she winced when her arm moved. A piece of cloth was pushed into her mouth with such force she almost choked on it. Her eyes moved around the dreary room. Maggie was seated against the wall on her left and Carol on her right. Her father was standing near the door, gun still in his hand. He clearly didn't consider this place safe either. There was only one window, way too small to fit through and a dead walker lay in the middle of the room.

'You're wondering if there's a way out of this,' Paula spoke when noticing the way Quinn was scanning the room. 'There isn't. Not unless I say so.'

Quinn simply frowned at the woman, hatred burning inside her stomach like boiling water. There was little she could do about the situation but oh how she wished to punch her in the face. She watched as the group continued to clear out the room, pulling the walker out and leaving a trail of blood behind. The silence was interrupted by gunshots coming from the halls outside and a shout followed. 'Paula, Nick we need back-up!'

Her father disappeared into the hallway without so much as a look over his shoulder. Paula however turned to look at them before leaving. 'I wanna kill you both right now. It's taking all I have not to. So go ahead try something, I dare you. Just see what happens.' Then she left the room, pulling the door closed behind her and leaving the three of them alone.

Maggie looked around, just as Quinn had done moments before but when she seemed to come to the same conclusion that escaping was near impossible, she turned around and started to try and cut the tape by using the wall. She stopped however when the distant sounds of gunshots and fighting stopped and turned around into her earlier position.

They waited in silence for what would happen next when Carol suddenly started breathing heavily and within seconds she was fully hyperventilating. She seemed to be in complete panic as she tried to catch her breath. Quinn felt confusion wave through as she stared at the woman with worry. Carol was tough as nails and she couldn't possibly imagine why she would freak out now but with each passing second, her worry grew because the panic attack seemed genuine.

The door opened and their captures came walking back in, shouting to each other but Quinn paid them no mind, all her attention captured by Carol.

'Hey!' Maggie shouted, trying to get their attention, though her voice was muffled by her gag. 'Hey!'

Finally Paula turned to her and roughly pulled the cloth out of her mouth. 'What?' She snapped.

'She's hyperventilating. Somebody needs to take her gag off!' Maggie angrily spoke, pointing at Carol.

For a moment Paula stood there, completely stunned, then she turned to the older woman who sighed deeply and walked over to Carol. 'She's a nervous little bird, ain't she,' she snarled, finally taking the gag out of Carol's mouth.

As soon as the air filled her lungs, Carol took a few deep breaths, slowly calming down. While she did though, the younger girl walked towards her, gun up and pointed at Carol. 'Look at you,' she said with disgust dripping from her voice, 'bitch, how did you make it this far?'

'Honey, you need to take some yoga breaths and calm your ass down,' the older woman teased her.

'Molly, Michelle, leave her be,' her father spoke and his voice startled her. She'd almost forgotten he was here. 'It's not her fault she happened to survive this shit.'

'Shut it, Nick,' the older woman, Molly, snapped. She reached inside Carol's pocket and took something out she had apparently been reaching for.

Quinn frowned when she noticed it was a necklace with a cross attached. As far as she knew Carol had long since abandoned her faith in God but maybe she'd been wrong. Maybe she didn't know the woman at all.

'Oh,' Molly scoffed. 'You're one of those.' She shook her head with disgust and walked away.

Paula frowned at Carol. 'What are you so afraid of? Are you actually afraid to die? All this and you're scared of getting your ticket punched.'

'It doesn't matter what happens to me,' Carol finally spoke, her voice trembling and weak, nothing like her usual self. 'Just don't hurt Maggie. Don't hurt the baby.'

The silence that followed felt like a heavy blanket had been placed over the room. Their captors turned to Maggie with shock and confusion written all over their faces.

'Yeah, right,' Michelle finally scoffed.

'She's got a bun in the oven? She doesn't look it,' Donnie said.

'I'm only two months, I think,' Maggie spoke softly.

Paula tilted her head, as though she was thinking hard. 'You're some kind of stupid, getting knocked up at a time like this.'

Maggie chuckled lifelessly.

'You think that's funny?'

'When was it ever smart to get knocked up?' Maggie replied. 'Women used to just die in childbirth. And they always thought the world was gonna end. Living through it, why would you give up?'

'But are you gonna live through it?' Paula shot back and at her words stone cold fear coursed through Quinn's veins. She tried to push it away, into a far corner of her mind, she couldn't be afraid, she had to get through this. 'Anyway,' Paula continued. 'That's cute. Babies are the point. Children are the future. Making bite-size snacks for the dead. The point is to stay standing.'

'No,' Maggie replied, her voice surprisingly calm. 'Walkers do that. I'm choosing something.'

'That's right,' Paula said. 'You are. You did.' Then she turned around and left the room.

While Donnie complained about his wound, Molly took a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. Quinn paid it no mind, instead her eyes turned to her father, who was leaning against the wall and pretending to listen to the complaints of the wounded man. He was trying his hardest not to look at her, she could tell by the way his fingers played nervously with the hem of his shirt. Molly started coughing, pulling Quinn's attention away from her father.

'The baby,' Carol said, looking at the smoking woman.

Molly looked at her and then burst out laughing. An ugly, raspy laugh. 'Honey,' she finally spoke. 'In case you haven't noticed, you've got bigger problems than a little secondhand smoke.' And she took another drag.

'Molls,' Michelle said softly.

And with a heavy sigh the woman put it out. 'You're all worse than a bunch of Evangelical second-graders.' She was barely done speaking before she started coughing again, getting out a handkerchief to cough in.

'Those things will kill you,' Carol said.

'They already have,' Molly rasped and showed the handkerchief, covered in blood. 'I'm a dead woman walking. Which puts us in exactly the same boat.' She chuckled, barely able to keep it from turning into another coughing fit.

The door opened and Paula walked back in, just when Donnie let out a pained scream. 'My arm feels like it's on fire!' He shouted, clawing at the makeshift brace they had put around his arm.

'You pull that off, you gonna be nothing but a spigot,' Molly snapped at him.

'Okay, hold on,' Paula said, kneeling down beside him. 'Scout crew is coming. They're 30 minutes out, maybe less.'

'He doesn't have 30 minutes,' Maggie spoke up. 'His nerves are dying. If he doesn't get medical help he'll lose his arm, maybe his life. I'm not a doctor but my dad lost his leg, and I know that much.'

Quinn was glad she got her arm cleaned and bandaged just before they were captured or she might've been in the same boat right now.

Donnie stared at Maggie with wide eyes before looking back at Paula with panic written all over his face.

'Your man, Primo, you think he can help you?' Maggie pressed on and Quinn quickly realised what she was playing at. 'It's time to end this. Talk to Rick.'

Paula kept her eyes focused on Donnie and pretended like she hadn't heard Maggie. 'Thirty minutes,' she told him before getting back on her feet.

A sigh left Quinn's lips and her eyes met Maggie's. She could see her friend was just as hopeless as she felt. Talking clearly wasn't helping. They could only hope Daryl had managed to follow the trail of the car and found the red cloth she dropped. Their only hope was being found before the scout crew would arrive. Or it would turn into another fight.

'You know my problem?' Donnie said, while getting to his feet.

Quinn felt her stomach clenching with nerves at the way his eyes were focused on Carol. His intentions were written clear as day all over his features.

'She did this to me,' he spat. 'She did it and she's sitting there, right as rain, fully intact.'

'Hey!' Paula shouted at him.

'No!' He shouted back. 'You're not gonna make the trade. And we just do 'em now.' His hand went to his gun as he stood before Carol, his eyes filled with an uncontrollable anger.

'No, we wait for the others,' Paula said, trying to reason with him. 'We have to be smart. We need insurance.'

'Shoot her in the arm too,' Donnie suggested.

'No,' Paula said, shaking her head.

'You really gonna stick up for some gutless bitch over me?' His face contorted with pain. 'Goddammit,' he shouted, reaching for his arm.

'Shut up!'

'Don't push me, Paula!'

'Shut up!'

He reached out before anyone could blink, hitting Paula across the face and sending her flying to the ground. His eyes were set on Carol as he took a step forward but Quinn was faster. She held out her leg, tripping him. He lost his balance and fell to the ground with a shout. Before she could twist herself out of the way though, he got back on his feet and reached down. A whimper left her lips when he pulled her up at her hair.

'You bitch!' He shouted, raising his fist.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the impact of his fist on her face but it never came. Instead she heard a grunt and the pressure on her hair disappeared. She opened her eyes and saw her father standing there with his gun raised. He had used the grip to knock Donnie unconscious. For a moment their eyes met but the moment was broken when Paula got back on her feet and looked at Quinn. 'You are some kind of stupid,' she snarled. Then she pointed at both Maggie and Quinn. 'Take those two out, see if they know anything. Should've done that before.

Michelle walked over to Maggie and pushed her towards the door. Her father gestured for her to follow and she did, with him walking closely behind. Quinn threw one last glare at Carol before disappearing into the hallway. Maggie was led right while she was told to go left. Her father opened a door and gestured for her to go inside. He still seemed very determined not to look at her.

The room was just as dark and dreary as the first one they'd been in. But at least there were two chairs for them to sit on. She sat down, wincing when her arm touched the chair. Before sitting down Nick took a step towards her and pulled her gag off, though he quickly retracted his arm, as though her skin had burned him.

She had no words to describe what it was like to sit here, face to face with a man she once hated with every fiber of her being. Now, though, he was a stranger. A face she had long since forgotten and not thought of in months. It felt like staring into the past, a life that no longer belonged to her. She was stronger now, able to defend herself. She was no longer afraid of the man seated before her and yet her heart clenched with the ghosts of her past, unable to let go just yet.

As the silence stretched on she realised he still wasn't looking at her and while that might've been what she wanted once, now it only infuriated her. 'So, after all this time you can't even bring yourself to look at me?' She questioned, her voice stone cold.

Finally he lifted his eyes and she felt her stomach clench in surprise at the pain she saw written in there. She didn't know how to deal with this. All she'd ever known was his fury, never his pain. It had always been hidden beneath layers of alcohol. But she guessed that was hard to come by nowadays.

'What do you want me to say?' Nick spoke and his voice was so different from how it used to be that she, for just a moment, wondered if it was really him.

'Why don't you start with explaining how you're gonna convince Paula to listen to Rick and take the deal,' she said, her voice still in that same ice cold tone.

Surprise flashed through his eyes and he opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again. She couldn't tell if it was because of her request or because he wasn't used to her talking back to him. But when he finally managed to find his words, the real reason surprised her more than she liked to admit. 'I just thought you'd want an apology first,' he muttered, seeming nervous all of a sudden.

Now it was her turn to search for words and she wished there was some sort of set of rules for a situation like this. 'We don't have to talk about it,' she found herself saying, slightly surprising herself. When she was younger she always thought that when she would face him again she'd have a thousand things to say. But now she found herself completely empty. What was there to say? No apology could heal the scars on her back. No explanation could ever heal what was broken between them. Their lives had gone into entirely different directions, they were strangers, bound by nothing. There was nothing left to say.

Nick nodded. 'All right, if that's what you want.'

She shifted in her seat and briefly wondered how it was possible that he seemed like such a different man. She wondered if this was the father that Milo had known before she was born. But she pushed the thought away and forced herself to focus on the task at hand. Getting out of here, alive. 'So, how are you gonna convince Paula?'

He looked at her, seeming to seriously consider her words. 'You're right,' he spoke and it felt strange beyond words to hear him say such a thing. 'I think taking the deal would be the best thing for all of us. Though, I wouldn't mind Donnie losing his arm.'

She bit her tongue and just about managed to hold back a sarcastic chuckle. Did her father actually just make her laugh? What the hell was happening?

He was studying her features closely but she managed to hide her confusion perfectly, just like she'd done all her life. She still knew how to hide herself from him and keep her expression perfectly clear of any sign of emotion. Luckily that hadn't changed.

'I can't convince her to do something about it though,' he continued when he seemed to realise he wasn't gonna get a reaction from her. 'She's gonna wait until back-up gets here and then she's gonna take your friends down.'

'Milo's with them,' Quinn said before she could stop herself.

His eyes widened and he nodded slowly, taking in the information that his son was still alive. 'Well,' he finally said, 'you two always made a good team together.' His voice sounded pained and for a moment she even believed to hear a hint of guilt laced in his tone, but she was afraid she was reading too much into it. He took a deep breath and shifted in his seat. 'I wanna help you get out of here alive Quinn, you and your brother. I-' he cut himself off and closed his eyes for a moment while gathering himself. 'It's the least I can do,' he added in a whisper.

She stared at him, the way he was seated, the weight that seemed to rest on his shoulders, the pain in his eyes and she realised that he was being genuine. He wasn't a good enough actor to be faking this, she knew that much. Concealing her emotions must've been a trick she had from her mother because, much like Milo, Nick was an open book. He always had been and though he seemed to have changed completely, at least that was the same. It threw her off balance and it took her a moment to formulate an answer. 'We're gonna have to kill them, you know that right.'

He seemed to seriously consider her words before nodding. 'Of course,' he said, not mentioning the fact that he was likely to die as well if they were going through with this. Rick wouldn't want anyone to stay alive, or the deal with Hilltop was off. And Quinn wasn't sure if she felt like sparing the man who made her life a living hell.

'How many are in the scout group?' She questioned.

When he looked at her, he looked pained, as though there was something he desperately wanted to say but simply couldn't. 'Five men,' he answered, his voice sounding strained.

She frowned at him. 'What are you hiding?'

He shook his head and her heart jumped in her chest when a small smile broke through on his face. She couldn't remember the last time, if ever, she'd seen a smile this genuine on his features. It made him look younger, his eyes glittering with something long forgotten.

'What?' She muttered, her voice betraying her for the first time.

'You,' he said, gesturing at her. 'You're so-' she raised her eyebrows in anticipation of his next words. '-strong,' he finally finished.

A sad smile formed on her own features. 'I learned from a young age.'

His smile faded immediately and this time the regret was too clear to be missed. She couldn't possibly imagine the unshed tears shining in his eyes, or the way he was suddenly unable to meet her gaze. But he took a deep breath and managed to speak anyway. 'There are no words that can express the damage I have done to you. And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness.'

Her features hardened, but her heart was hammering against her ribcage. 'Good, because I didn't ask for an apology.'

He nodded, accepting that there wasn't a thing he could say that could ever make this right. 'Then let's discuss how we're gonna get you and your friends out of here alive.'

'Yes, let's do that,' Quinn whispered, though some part of her was pretty sure that Carol was already working on a plan.

And like her thoughts had been heard, a scream tore through the hallways at that very moment. A deep and raspy voice screaming in pain. It could only be the older woman, Molly. Whatever Carol was up to, it was happening. She got to her feet and held out her hands, still bound by tape. If he wanted to help her escape the first thing he was going to have to do was get her hands free.

Nick reached in his pocket and got out his knife. He cut through the tape without a doubt and then handed her the knife. 'You're gonna need this,' he said.

She nodded and turned, heading towards the door. At the very last moment, however, she stopped and turned back to look at him. The words that left her lips next seemed to be spoken by another person, like a ghost had taken possession of her body and was forcing her to speak, yet it was truly her speaking. 'You better leave, they're not going to spare your life when they find you.'

'I said I was going to help you,' Nick spoke, a hint of protest in his voice, 'so that's what I'm going to do.'

'You just did,' Quinn said, nodding at the tape that lay on the ground, forgotten. 'Now let me help you.'

He frowned. 'But you owe me nothing.'

Blue eyes and a winged vest flashed before her eyes and she smiled. 'I'm not doing this for you.' She blinked and the image faded. 'Leave, now. Before I regret it.' Then she turned around and left the room. With the knife held high she ran through the halls, coming to a stop when she rounded the corner. She carefully looked into the hallway, only to find it empty. She ran towards the first room they had been held in and came to a halt in the door opening.

Donnie was on the ground, dead. Carol was standing next to him, her eyes focused on Maggie as she bashed in the head of Molly. When she was sure the woman was dead, Maggie got back to her feet. When she turned to look at Carol her eyes fell on Quinn. 'Oh god,' she breathed and walked forwards. 'Are you okay?'

'Fine,' Quinn lied. 'My fath-Nick, he got away.'

For a moment the two women just stared at her and she was pretty sure neither of them believed her but it didn't matter. They still had the others to deal with.

'Then let's finish it,' Maggie said.

They left the room and closed the door behind them, heading into the hallways of the compound. They took a right and then a left. Quinn trusted Maggie knew where she was going, because she was somewhere else completely with her thoughts. Only when the sound of snarls came from up ahead did she manage to pull herself from the cloud surrounding her brain. The hallway ahead was blocked by walkers in chains, guarding the entrance like dogs.

'They're using them to keep us in,' Carol said, 'keep the others out.'

'Come on,' Maggie spoke, 'we have to find them.'

Before they could do anything though, a gunshots came from behind them. Quinn let herself fall to the ground, rolling out of the way and towards the wall. She threw a look over her shoulder and saw Paula walking towards them, her gun raised and her eyes filled with fury. The gun clicked, it was empty and that was the cue she needed to jump back on her feet.

Carol, however, was faster. She had a gun in her hand and pointed it straight at Paula. 'Just run.'

'Shoot her,' Maggie said.

'Go on,' Paula pressed, 'do it. You've killed Donnie. You've killed Molly. Your people have destroyed my home.'

'Get out of here,' Carol whispered, genuine pain in her voice.

'You have no idea, the things I've done, what I've given up, what I had to do,' Paula continued speaking while slowly walking forwards.

'Just run,' Carol pleaded.

'Carol, shoot her!' Quinn pressed, wanting it over.

'Go ahead,' Paula spoke, 'I've already lost everything.'

It happened so fast that Quinn had to look twice to figure out what happened. A walker had gotten loose from its chains and attacked Carol from behind. The gun fired, hitting Paula in the shoulder and bringing her down. Maggie stormed forwards and pushed her knife through the walker's head, killing it.

Quinn took a deep breath but there was no time to rest because a new voice joined the hallways. 'Paula? Molly?' It was Michelle.

Maggie wasted no time and walked towards the source of the sound, ready to finish it. She disappeared around the corner and Quinn could hear the sounds of a struggle. Her feet were running before she knew it, Carol right behind her. They rounded the corner and found Maggie and Michelle facing each other. Carol raised her gun and without so much as a blink, she pulled the trigger, bringing the girl down.

Behind them Paula chuckled, making the three women turn back to face her. 'You're good,' she said, her eyes focused on Carol. 'Nervous little bird.' She got to her feet, tears streaming down her face. 'You were her. But not anymore, right? Me too.'

Carol shook her head, tears glistering in her eyes. 'I told you to run.'

'If you could do all this,' Paula pressed on, 'what were you so afraid of, Carol?'

Carol took a step forward. 'I was afraid of this,' she whispered.

Paula chuckled maliciously and then stormed forward. The gun dropped the ground but Carol was faster. She reached out and pushed the woman back, piercing her body with a pole one of the walkers was attached to. A scream erupted from her throat when the walker bit her face, eating away the skin and flesh that had one formed her features.

Quinn looked away, having seen enough. But it wasn't over just yet. The walkie cracked and a voice came through. 'Paula we're approaching the perimeter, are we a go?'

Carol reached for the walkie and held it by her mouth. When she spoke she tried to imitate Paula the best she could. 'Meet us on the kill floor.'

The three of them headed towards the spot and poured the gasoline they found down the hallway, all across the floor. Then they hit the cans and hid themselves in a room close to the kill floor. In silence they waited and Quinn swore she could still hear Paula's scream echo through her mind. She wondered if her father had made it out of the compound alive. This was the second time she left him behind, though this time she felt a lot more conflicted about it than the first time, almost a year ago.

'I think I might've killed eighteen people,' Carol suddenly spoke. 'Twenty. I should've killed Donnie too, in the woods. I had a clear shot, I didn't miss. None if this would've happened if I had just killed him.'

'Don't do that to yourself,' Quinn whispered.

'I can't stop,' Carol replied, her voice pained.

'We're almost done,' Maggie said but Quinn knew it was a lie. There would always be another fight to fight, another impossible choice, another life to take. It was the way the world was now. Kill or be killed.

Footsteps echoed through the hallways and she pressed herself closer to the wall, as if that would somehow hide her more. Voices called out for Paula and her friends but of course no answer came. They waited until the men had entered the room and through the window in the door she counted five, her father hadn't lied.

Carol put on a cigarette, probably having taken them from Molly's body. Then she moved. She ran towards the kill floor, threw the burning cigarette on the gasoline covered floor and quickly closed the door. Fire erupted, flames licked the walls and quickly trapped the men inside. Their screams as the fire touched their flesh were unbearable. And with that sound and the smell of burning flesh, the three women made their way down the hallway, back towards the walkers who guarded the exit. Paula's face was unrecognizable as they passed her. Careful not to let the walkers touch them they made their way through the hallway and Quinn refused to look back.

They headed for the door and with their weapons raised they pulled it open. Light streamed inside the dark hallway and for a moment she stood there, frozen. Until a familiar face appeared in her line of sight. Two brown eyes, staring right at her, worried. Her brother wrapped his arms around her and she felt herself crumble at his touch. She buried her head in his shoulder, a whimper leaving her lips.

'You're okay,' Milo breathed, relief sounding through his voice. 'You're okay.'

But she wasn't. She was far from okay.

'They're dead,' she could hear Maggie say. 'They're all dead. The ones that took us.'

Milo slowly released her and she was wrapped into another pair of arms almost immediately. The smell of smoke and wood hit her and tears appeared in her eyes at the feeling of safety that washed over her. She barely managed to swallow the lump in her throat as she wrapped her uninjured arm around Daryl's shoulders, leaning her head against his chest. 'I got your message,' he whispered in her hair.

A laugh of pure relief left her lips and she held on to him even tighter. Here in his arms the world seemed to fade away. Though there was one question lingering on the edge of her mind still. Did she make the right choice by letting her father go once again?

A U T H O R 'S  N O T E

Hey guys! It's been a while! As some of you may have read on my message board, I had COVID. Which was the reason why I haven't been updating. I was so tired all the time and didn't have the energy to do even the smallest of things. I swear even taking a shower was too much. But, luckily, I'm recovering now and I'm finally feeling good enough to write again!

In the time of my little hiatus this book has gotten many new readers and I just wanted to say hello to you all and thank you for your support! I love you guys so so much!

I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I thought it was really fun to write this interaction between Quinn and her father. And I can promise you guys it won't be the last we see of Nick! If you enjoyed this chapter please let me know in the comments, or leave a vote! Every little bit helps!

Much love, Nelly