"The night..." she had to pause before her emotions got the best of her. "The night you walked away, I didn't care as much for myself. Yeah, I felt confused and pretty upset that you did that, but I was more concerned at the moment." Noelle wanted to pat herself on the back for being able to keep her composure. Especially after hearing the pleading coming from the large man before her. "What hurt more was seeing my little boy's face drop when he learned you left. Not a 'sorry I have to go' or a 'great job out there' for him. I think that's all he wanted...was to be seen. By you. And the fact that you found it so easy to just bail is where I think we hit a wall."

"Believe me, it wasn't easy. It has been anything but easy since then either," he squeezed in before she could continue. He was looking at her now and she could see the pain in his eyes. It made it more and more difficult to be in front of him.

"I would have known had you said anything. We're supposed to be the adults in this world, Cole. We are the ones who have to communicate and use our big kid words to say how we-" she clamped her mouth shut, feeling like an enormous hypocrite at the moment. It was easy to call others out on their lack of communication, yet she had been afraid all along. Not once had she felt strong enough to say how she felt. Not until the night he left. Maybe that was why it had hurt even more.

"I guess I should apologize too," she muttered after a moment. His confused look was warranted so she decided now was the time. It was time to be brave. "I'm sorry for being a coward as well. Maybe not as big of one as you, but I could have told you how I felt about you. There were a few moments where it would have been acceptable." The confused look never dropped from his face. It was almost adorable, but there was no time for that at the moment.

"What do you mean?"

She rubbed her face, knowing that she probably looked a mess. Even a little cry from her would turn her nose red and leave some splotches on her cheeks. "I mean, I was falling for you too. Stupidly fast and it scared the crap out of me too, especially because I have a young man over there that I have to do right by. I used him as a crutch. As a reason to hold people at a distance. And then you show up being amazing and treating him like he's the best thing in the world-"

"It's because he is....you too," he cut in. His face brighter than it had been. The beard he had pulled down below his chin he used to wipe some tears from his cheeks, but he looked like a thousand pounds had left his shoulders.

"I was afraid it was too good to be true. That you were too good to be true...and then you kind of showed me that maybe I was right about that so it didn't help much." She saw some of the light fade and his face fall again, but she needed him to know even with her feeling guilty about it.

"I'm sorry for that. I know it doesn't solve anything but-" she cut him off with her hand.

"I know you're sorry," his mouth snapped shut. "I think we both could work on sharing our feelings before we hurt ourselves or the ones we care about." One more deep breath and another internal reminder to be brave and she let it out. "I'm willing to try...I mean if you are too. If that's what you want, I mean," she babbled. She realized they weren't technically anything and immediately wanted to backtrack. The smile that started to form on his face made her cheeks heat.

"I do want that. I really do. It's what I wanted all along," he responded. His voice back to normal. "Before anything, do you think I can run and de-Santa myself and meet you at the entrance. I really want to see Jacob as me and if it's okay with you I'd like to apologize to him as me."

Her heart fluttered and her palms felt sweaty. He really did want what she wanted and she could have cried happy tears at that moment, but she held strong and nodded her head. Jacob deserves a choice in the matter too and at the least an apology. The fact that Cole made sure she was okay with it helped solidify her decision.

With another small smile and his hand grabbing her shoulder and giving her a light squeeze, he sent her on her way to his aunt and Jacob so they could walk to the entrance. When she looked back to where he was, he was already gone and she wanted to chuckle at the idea of him racing somewhere else to change. She didn't want to admit how much lighter she felt after his apology. Well, it was much more than an apology and the hope fluttered through her.

Cole's aunt talked excitedly with Jacob on the short walk to the entrance area of the farm where she would send them off and they could head on home and get ready for Christmas. However, she knew she had to take her time to let Cole catch up. A small voice in her head brought up the idea of him not appearing and it unsettled her, the unsure feeling filled her and her throat closed up. What if he didn't show? At least Jacob wasn't aware of him wanting to talk to him this time so he wouldn't be more upset, but she would know.

No, she told herself as she tried to shake the feeling. He wouldn't have gone through all of this trouble just to not show up. She tried to keep that chant in her head as they made it to the front where a couple of other families appeared to be grabbing some last minute gifts from the gift shop. She looked around, not trying to give away that she was looking for someone in particular, but when she met the eyes of Cole's aunt and her smug smile, she knew she was obvious. Her cheeks heated and she looked back down as she walked hand in hand with Jacob.

"This is where I will leave you, Mr. Jacob and lovely Noelle," she said with gleam in her eyes. "I wish you the merriest of Christmases and a safe journey home." She made a quick exit as they bid her farewell and Noelle did one more sweep of the the area with no luck in spotting a giant man. He's on his way, she comforted herself before speaking up to Jacob.

"Do you want to go into the gift shop, see if there's a decoration or two you want to add to the tree before Santa gets a look?"

Jacob who was quiet once more seemed to think to himself for a moment before responding. "No, that's ok. I just wanna get home." Shoot. She knew it was unlike him to not want more shiny things to add to the tree. It was a specialty of his and him not wanting to even browse made her heart ache. He did have a long day and the evening cry he shared with Santa-Cole must have wiped him out. She thought maybe she'd just text Cole and let him know Jacob wasn't in the best spirits to see him and to wait till after Christmas, but before she could even pull her phone out, Jacob suddenly grasped on to her legs. "Oh no," his little voice said as the sight of the large man who broke her heart and was trying to mend it came into view.

"It's okay, sweetie. I think he just wanted to see you. Are you okay with that?"

"I dunno. I guess so," he answered meekly. As her eyes caught his as he got closer, she saw the determination in his eyes.

Please let this be real, she pleaded to herself.