Noelle used to love Christmas Eve more than anything when she was a kid. The anticipation of what was to come. Getting to have many days of school off. Family coming together. And last but not least was the food. Now that she was on the other side of the looking glass, it was one of the more stressful times of her life. The responsibility fell on her in making sure her son had as wonderful of a time as she did at his age. At first she didn't know how her parents did it with her and her brother, but she soon learned it was because of their partnership. They had one another to lean on when one was struggling. At first, Noelle was distraught at the idea that she might never have that. A lot of people never had that though the thought didn't make her feel any better about it.

This year was no different in that she was doing things solo, but to add to that she was nursing her cracked heart. She still managed to put a smile on her face and genuinely enjoy everything she did with Jacob, but now that it was the day before Christmas and she knew she couldn't give Jacob what he actually wanted, she felt like a failure. It didn't help that she was too quick to see a potential future with the man who stole her and her son's heart and that he ran off without a word. That still stung and she didn't feel that one getting better.

Since Jacob was spending the morning with his grandparents and them treating him to a pancake filled breakfast, Noelle used the time alone to finish wrapping last minute presents and getting them under the Christmas tree before he came back. After that task was complete she decided to get a head start on some cookie dough so her and Jacob could make some to leave for Santa overnight. Although her thoughts ran elsewhere, she was efficient enough to finish the dough and left it resting in the fridge until Jacob came back and napped. As she wiped down the kitchen counters, she heard a light rapping at the door. Thinking it was her brother or one of the neighbors leaving them with some extra treats she headed to the front door ready to greet whoever was there. However, when she opened the door there was no one there and for a moment she thought maybe she was hearing things. When she looked down she saw a small wrapped box on the ground labeled to Jacob and an envelope under it with her name.

After picking the items up and looking around outside to see if anyone was around she headed back inside with a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach. Both items didn't say anything on the label other than their names so she was left confused as to what to do. Should she place the anonymous gifts under the tree? Should she at least open hers now? That way she has time to gift back whomever left it in case she hadn't already. Her immediate overthinking made her grumble and she placed the box labeled 'Jacob' under the tree and ripped hers open.

It was a generic holiday card and when she opened it a few loose pieces of paper fell out. Inside the card was a generic holiday greeting and the bottom was signed 'Santa'. Noelle's breath hitched as her mind jumped quickly to the most recent version of Santa that plagued her mind. But why would Cole send anything? He made it pretty clear when he ran off and ghosted them only days ago. She wanted to be angry at him and rightfully so, but the hopeful part of her just wanted him. After so much thinking and imagining him in their lives it always seemed so right. Only the past few days had it hurt to imagine him, but this card...this card changed things. Unless it wasn't him....

She bent down and grabbed the couple of papers that had fallen and saw it was tickets. Two tickets to take a ride on Santa's sleigh that evening at the Kingston farm. The tickets looked genuine so it must have been a thing, but she didn't realize things still happened at Christmas Eve. What if she already had plans with Jacob? The battle in her mind to be upset and annoyed more than curious and hopeful waged again. Why couldn't things be simple? She supposed they could, if she weren't a coward and he wasn't a runaway jerk...

She mulled over the idea. Should she take Jacob? He'd be excited to see Cole again. Unless it wasn't even Cole who invited them. It could have been his brother who tried to apologize and convince her that he was genuine and to just give him some time. This was a big thing for him. Noelle was still sensitive about it all and hadn't been the kindest to him. The guilt ate at her whenever she thought about him and how he only tried to be a peacemaker. Maybe she should go, if only to apologize to him for being so kind and trying to be of help.

When he appeared on her doorstep days ago, he seemed nervous and worried. The only issue was Noelle was feeling too bad about the situation to be of help. Even though she let him down gently she could still see the hurt in his eyes when she said she wouldn't be able to help him with their brother. The mere mention of him had her heart racing and her body warming up even while standing outside in the freezing cold. The guilt she felt afterwards was difficult to deal with and she almost ran out to his truck to stop him. Jacob's curiosity had stopped her though and he would have questioned more if she continued speaking to him. It didn't help her feel any better though.

She looked at the tickets again, trying to decide on what to do. If it was him doing this, then he must be doing better than before and his brother didn't end up needing her help with him. That thought didn't help settle her. She wanted to be needed by someone. And she definitely wanted it to be him before he had hurt her.

She was unable to sit in her thoughts for too long before the sound of a vehicle pulling up stole her attention. With a door opening and a loud child laughing at something she knew Jacob was already back and pumped with a sugar filled breakfast most likely. She tucked the card and the tickets under some mail she had at the table by the door and waited for him and most likely her father to barge in.

It took only moments for the door to fly open and a little gremlin to run in followed by the much larger gremlin that was her dad. Her mother probably sent him so she could have time to herself to start doing her own Christmas prep that would continue up until they all gathered for dinner at their home in the evening. It gave Noelle and her brother the morning to do their own things with their own family. When Noelle thought about that, she was saddened that she couldn't give her son a larger family. He always wanted friends to sleep over and various family members to stay the night. He just wanted more love and she felt like she failed to give him that.

"Mama! I had chocolate syrup AND marshmallows on my pancakes! Oh! And whipped cream too! Gramma said not to tell you though," his voice lowered at the end in confusion, soon realizing he had done the opposite.

Noelle's father laughed behind him as he cleaned his shoes off at the door before entering. "Never tell kids to keep secrets, ever," he chuckled once more. He then went quiet as he stared at her for a moment in thought. "Are you feeling alright?"

Noelle was taken aback. Did she not look okay? Sure, she hadn't slept well lately and over exerting herself in her work and making sure Jacob has the best Christmas meant she wasn't doing her regular workout routine, but she didn't feel like she should look so drastically different. "Uh, yeah I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem...dejected. Is it the holiday blues?"

"No no it's none of that. I've been putting in a lot of extra work so I can have some more time to relax between Christmas and New Years that's all," she tried to say with as much conviction she could muster.

"Are you sure, that's it?" His voice was laced with concern. She hadn't seen her father so worried since she was in labor with Jacob. "Does it have anything to do with that big football player?" He had said it. No one had brought up Cole since he left that night and everyone had pretended nothing happened. However, it was probably only around her that they did that. She hated that it happened to her, she felt embarrassed.

Noelle could have lied and pushed the idea that she was only overworked, but being so exhausted she had no fight left in her to lie. So she slumped and decided to be honest and open.

"Yes. Yes, it does."

"Tell me what I can do," he said.