Soooo sorry for the long wait but Uni has been killing me and I was home for the holidays and everything ...

I hope you enjoy this chapter, because it's over 6000 words and it's a really good one (I hope)

Happy reading, and don't forget to let me know what you think throughout the story and at the end of the chapter x

---

Previously on chapter 14:

He pulls the blanket off my body to get into the bed next to me, and I don't even say anything as he turns off the light.

"Thank you." He whispers and I hug his chest, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck.

"Always."

After a few moments of silence, I ask him something I've actually been wondering.

"Did you actually get into a fight with your coach?"

He shakes his head. "No."

I smirk. "Ha haaa."

"What? Do you have any complaints?" he asks and slides his hand up my thigh until his fingers press between my legs through his pants.

"No." I yelp and pull away from his touch because I'm still sensitive.

"Then don't laugh at me." he pouts and smiles into my cheek.

My heart feels like it's going to burst from joy, and it's weird to think about it, because it was just about to break an hour ago. And it was all because of the same person.

"You make me weird." He says.

"What do you mean?"

"Since I was a boy I wanted to fucking destroy the whole world. And now I don't."

I frown, even though he can barely see me.

"What does it have to do with me?"

"Well, you're in it. So I don't want to destroy it anymore."

I bite my lip and smile.

"Don't smirk like that. You know I say weird things in the dark."

"The craziest shit." I tease him and poke him in the side.

"But still the true shit."

I watch him watch the ceiling and wonder how the fuck I ended up here. About all the events in the past four months that led up to this moment.

"I love you." I say.

He smiles at me and kisses my forehead, like he didn't even hear me.

And that's because I actually didn't say it out loud.

-------

Rey's POV

As soon as I wake up, everything that happened last night comes back to me and I close my eyes, hoping it wouldn't be true. But I can't turn back time now.

And, not to mention, I also realized that I've fallen in love with Niall fucking Horan. I turn my head to face his side of the bed, but it's empty. Then I check my phone. It's way past nine, which means I need to pack my shit.

I have three messages from Jake, telling me that Harry told him what happened and that he covered for me, saying that I slept over in his room last night when Zoe asked.

Niall's not in the bathroom, which probably means that he's gone back to his room before I woke up so he could go to breakfast.

"You missed breakfast." Zoe says when she lets me in our room five minutes later.

"I know, I overslept."

"So did you take care of that thing last night?" she asks and I frown.

"What?"

"Last night. When you stormed out. You said you had to take care of something?"

"Oh right. Yeah...I did." I say and turn my head away from her because I'm starting to feel guilty.

We pack our stuff in silence and after I get changed, I sit down on the bed to check my Instagram.

Rey: https://www.polyvore.com/15.1/set?id=233438955

The door opens and Niall walks in, without even knocking.

"Found your top." He laughs and hands Zoe a white shirt. He doesn't even look at me before he kisses her.

I look down at my phone for a second, and when I look back up again, we make eye contact. I give him a weird, confused look and he just looks away.

I feel something weird in my stomach; a mix of worry and something else I can't quite place. Oh, yes I can. Fucking anger is what it is.

"I'll take your suitcase downstairs babe." Niall tells her, and okay, I'm out.

I take my luggage and fix the cap on my head before I leave the room.

I knock on Jake's door until he opens it.

"Are you alone?" I ask and he nods, stepping aside.

"Niall and I had sex."

"WHAT?!" he yells, placing a dramatic hand over his heart.

"And now he's ignoring me and acting like Zoe shits gold."

Jake sits down on his bed. "What do you mean you fucked...what...how..."

I roll my eyes. "That's not important right now."

"Um...yes it fucking is?! How was it? Is his dick big? Oh my GOD!"

"He's ignoring me Jake. And I'm getting angry."

He makes a face.

"But please don't tell anyone like...I don't want Zoe to find out. Niall's probably gonna tell her anyway."

"I don't think he's going to tell her soon though."

I shrug. "Can I punch him if he ignores me one more time?"

Jake nods. "Go ahead. But honestly, how good was the sex?"

I roll my eyes.

***

Our plane is delayed for one hour, which means we have to wait around by the gate and stare at the walls.

Luckily though, there's a smokers area not far away from where our gate is located, so I ask Jake to take care of my luggage while I go for a smoke.

There's nobody around so I take a seat on one of the high chairs as I chain smoke and go through my Instagram feed. I hear the door open and closing, but I don't look up.

"Got a lighter?"

I turn around to see Niall with a cigarette in his mouth.

I hand him mine without looking at him, but I can't help myself because I'm naturally petty.

"So you talk to me only when you need something huh."

He makes a face and hands me the lighter back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't play dumb. You ignored me all day today."

Niall rolls his eyes and I want to slap them off his eye sockets.

"Don't be so dramatic."

"So you chose her I guess." I dryly say.

"I already told you-"

"Yeah yeah, you already told me I was never an option. Do you think you're too good for me or something?" I snort.

"No." he shakes his head. "That's not what I meant."

Then there's silence as he ignores my confused look.

"Then what the fuck did you mean?"

"I meant...you were never an option for me because...I don't think we'd work. I mean, we're different and you're you and I'm me."

"Great! That clears everything up, thank you." I sarcastically reply and put my half-smoked cigarette out in the ashtray. I'm over this.

As I want to get off the chair, he grabs my arm.

"Why are you mad now? Because I fucked you and then didn't marry you or?"

"Fuck you."

"You did." He replies and I ball up my fingers into a fist, trying really fucking hard not to punch him.

"I wanna punch you." I tell him and free myself from his grip.

"Then do it. Come on." He says and puts his cigarette out before he leans his face down so he can be at my eye level. "I know you want to."

"You'd deserve it." I tell him and cross my arms.

"I know."

I decide to be the bigger person and walk away, but just as I reach the door, I turn around.

"You know, I thought we'd be at least civil to each other after everything that happened last night, but apparently you'll always be an ungrateful asshole."

"Right back at you." He laughs and I flip him off before I storm out.

***

Christmas passes by quickly, and it's just as usual: our parents buying us expensive gifts to make up for the time they lost with us, the four of us watching Home Alone and then eating whatever recipe our mother tries out for the first time.

It's the day before New Year's Eve and Jake, Sophia and I are out outfit shopping. I decided to host the New Year's party at my house this year because my parents are going to the Bahamas with some friends for a few days...so why not?

Rey: https://www.polyvore.com/15.2/set?id=233597914

I find a gorgeous dress in Yves Saint Laurent and decide I will not buy new shoes just for this party, so I leave Sophia and Jake in Zara as I go out for a smoke.

"Oh dear God." I mumble under my breath when I see Niall's backside. Of course I would run into him.

I try to be silent as I light up my cigarette but my phone beeps and he turns around.

"Hi." He says and I just nod in acknowledgement.

"You here alone?" I ask, but then I see the YSL bag he's holding.

"No. Zoe's shoe shopping."

There's something in my gut that makes me feel like shit, but I don't show it.

"So I guess you're bringing her tomorrow."

I have no idea what happened after the trip, which was a few weeks ago, because I haven't seen either of them since then.

"Yeah. Was surprised you added us to the group."

I roll my eyes. "I kind of had to. It's not my party per se. Jed's also coming, so it's definitely not my party."

He nods, looking down at his Vans.

"So you're going to start the new year with her huh."

Niall shrugs. "Seems that way. Never had a midnight kiss with someone serious, so there's a start for everything."

I take a deep breath.

I don't mind I don't mind I don't mind

YES I DO

Fuck.

"Are you sure you want to?" I ask, unable to stop myself.

"Want to what?"

I don't look directly at him.

"Start the year with her. I mean, the way you start your new year will be how your entire year will go."

He nods. "I know that."

"Alright then." I say, ignoring the way my heart just sunk into my pants. "I better go." I say and put out my cigarette before I head back inside.

Sophia and Jake are at the checkout counter and they're excited about the party tomorrow, so I decide not to ruin the mood by telling them about Niall.

It's irrelevant anyway.

***

"Which one?" Jason asks the next day around four in the afternoon.

I'm on my laptop on the bed, too lazy to get up and get ready. People are coming after 8pm anyway, so I have plenty of time.

I look up to see him holding up two button-up shirts.

"Neither of them. Jesus. I'll come help you in a minute." I tell him and he leaves my room.

I look back down at my screen.

Yes. I am indeed reading an article about how to get over a fuckboy, and I'm planning on putting some rules into action tonight. For example: "don't let him keep you hanging around" – I'm going to try my best not to be in the same room as him tonight, "look hot"- that's easy to do tonight, and "remember his flaws".

I close my laptop and get up from the bed to go to Jake's room.

"This one." I say as soon as I enter his closet. "With black jeans and Vans. You'll kill her."

He nods and I place a hand on my hip.

"You nervous?" I ask.

"Yeah...kind of. I mean, I've never had a new year's kiss before."

"Well, I'm sure Lilli is nervous as well, so don't sweat it. You've kissed before, right?"

"Yeah Rey." He groans, rolling his eyes.

I take a step closer to him. "Did you...you know..."

"Rey!" he exclaims, making a disgusted face. But then he looks down. "Yes we did."

"Oh my GOD! How was it? Was it good? Did she come? How long-"

"BYE!" he yells and pushes me out of his room before slamming the door.

I stare at the door confused for a few seconds, but then I shake my head when the thought of my little brother having sex crosses my mind.

It's definitely time to get ready.

But first, a warm bath.

***

I finish my makeup around seven, so it's time to put my outfit on and go downstairs to start arranging some stuff.

I decided to wear the YSL dress I bought yesterday and the Sophia Webster heels with the golden wings. I put a shirt over my dress so it won't get messy as I get the house ready.

Rey+Niall+Zayn+Zoe: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=233598324

Jake, Sophia and Harry arrive ten minutes later to help me.

"Who are you kissing at midnight?" Jake asks me as the two of us arrange stuff in the living room.

I shrug. "Zayn? I don't know."

"Ew." He says, rolling his eyes. "I still don't know what to think about your relationship with my little brother."

"Jake, you were born five minutes apart. And besides, I could ask you the same question. Are you going to have a three-way kiss?"

He sighs as he fills the bowls on the coffee table with chips. "I don't know. But I'm ninety percent sure that Harry want to kiss Louis and vice versa."

"Look, if I don't find anyone to kiss and you don't find anyone to kiss, how about we kiss each other?" I suggest.

"Okay. Why not." he laughs.

We return to the kitchen, where Sophia and Harry are almost finished with placing the alcohol bottles on the counter.

"I think you bought way too much alcohol for forty people." Harry says.

"Well Niall's coming, so I'd say it's enough." I mumble.

"Oh, you're the one to talk." Sophia snorts.

I flip her off.

"What can I help out with?" Jason asks, entering the kitchen.

"Put out the plastic cups. I'll hide the crystal and anything that can easily break. Jake and Harry go and hide the TV in the basement. Also, mum's vases and lamps need to be hidden."

Half an hour later, we are finished with everything, so we make ourselves some drinks and toast the New Year's Eve.

People start arriving shortly after eight, which is an exception because it's the New Year. Otherwise, the house would've been empty until at least 9pm.

The doorbell rings again. It's Jed.

"Hi." He says, leaning down to give me the typical greeting hug.

"Hi Jed." I greet him back. "You can leave your stuff in the coatroom."

He nods and just as I am about to close the door, someone places a hand against it. It's Gigi. Oh, this should be interesting.

Niall, Zoe and Lilly arrive shortly before nine (of course), and it just so happens that I'm right by the door so I end up opening it (of fucking course).

"Hii Rey!" Zoe greets me, smiling, and hands me a bottle of wine and hugging me. "Where can I leave my coat?"

"Right in there." I tell her and point to the door of the coatroom.

"Nice place." Niall says when we're left alone after Lilly runs to greet Jason.

"You've seen it before."

"Love your outfit by the way."

I look down at myself, just to realize that I was still wearing the oversized shirt over the dress.

"Oh. I forgot."

He leaves to take his jacket off, so I walk upstairs to take off my shirt. After five minutes of checking myself out in the mirror, I walk back downstairs.

The music is already loud and people seem to be having a good time, which means that I can calm down and make myself something to drink.

On my way to the kitchen, I see Zayn and Gigi having a private conversation.

"What do you want to drink?" Jed asks as soon as I enter the kitchen.

"Let's do shots." I tell him and he looks surprised as I pour Vodka into two shots glasses.

"Cheers." He laughs and we down them at the same time.

The door opens and closes.

"Another round?" I suggest and Jed shrugs, so we down another round of shots.

Then he makes me Vodka with orange juice.

"Hey man." Jed greets someone behind me.

"Hi."

It's Niall, but I don't turn around. Instead, I try to down my drink as fast as I can.

Jed leaves me alone, so I pretend to be interested in the types of chips we have on the island counter.

"Didn't know you started getting along with him." Niall says and I look up at him. He's standing across from me, on the other side of the island counter.

"I'm not. And mind your own business please." I spit before I down the rest of my drink.

"Don't you think you should slow down?"

"Sorry dad." I sarcastically say as I pour myself the same drink.

"So you're going to kiss your ex at midnight then?" he asks, taking a few steps around the counter to get next to me.

"And you're kissing her." I state.

"She's not my ex."

"Still a bad way to start the year."

We don't say anything for a few moments, but I am extremely aware of the fact that he's really close to me.

"So what do you suggest?" Niall asks, cocking his head in a way that makes me want to slap him. Or kiss him. Or both.

I shrug. "None of my business who you kiss."

"You seem interested though."

"So do you." I retort, cocking my head just like him in order to mock him. "I actually thought you wouldn't bring her tonight."

I lean against the island counter to get a little space.

"Why's that?"

"Because I never thought you'd be this serious about someone."

And FUCK, it bothers me SO MUCH that I'm not her, but I don't let it show. Or at least I'm trying.

"Well, I thought I should probably change the way I think if I don't want to end up alone." He says, placing a hand on the counter next to my hip. I look down at it and when I look back up, he's closer than he was before.

The door opens and he turns his head, not bothering to take his hand away or to take a step back.

It's Lilly.

She looks at the two of us and then grabs a cup to make herself a drink.

"No you're not." Niall says and takes the Jägermeister out of her hand. "Just coke."

"Come on Niall." She groans, but lets him pour the coke anyway before she leaves, but not without looking at me in a weird way.

"So you're going to marry her then? If you don't want to end up alone?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I didn't say that."

I roll my eyes and walk over to the fridge to get some ice for my drink.

"Do you love her?" I ask, looking down at my drink. Here it goes.

"Yeah. I'm starting to."

And it fucking destroys me inside.

"Then why did you cheat on her? You can't cheat on someone you love. It's impossible."

I wonder how I am able to still talk over the heart in my throat.

"Felt like it."

"Well, I'm happy for you."

It's the biggest life I've told in my life.

Zoe enters the kitchen.

"Ni, baby, can you pour me drink? And come on, let's dance already! By the way Rey, I love your dress."

I smile at her as I walk towards the door. "Thank you, I like yours too."

My eyes fall on Zayn, who's still talking to Gigi, and I know in that moment that Zayn and I won't happen. Not tonight, not ever, because he's always going to have feelings for her.

We all have that person we go back to, or will always have some kind of feelings for, regardless of where we are, what we're doing, or who we're dating.

I see Jed talking to an annoyed Jake, and wonder if he's that person for me. I hope not.

"What are you guys talking about?" I ask, deciding to help Jake out.

"The upcoming games." Jed answers and I place my arm around his waist.

This surprises them both.

"I need a drink." Jake says, placing a hand on his temple as he walks away.

"What are you doing?" Jed asks, placing his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm horny." I tell him and his eyes pop out of their sockets.

"What?"

"Come upstairs."

"Uh...okay?" he stammers, looking confused.

I take him by the hand and lead him upstairs.

"Are you actually going to-" he starts, but I shush him.

Then, just as I am about to pin him against the door and kiss him, I stop.

"Okay, I can't do this." I say and sit down on the chair by the desk, placing my face in my hands.

"What? What's going on?"

I shake my head. "I'm not going to tell you."

"Oh come on Rey, you can tell me. Look, I know I was the biggest asshole in the past, and I'm really sorry, but I've been going to a therapist and I've sorted myself out."

He crouches down before me so he can look me in the eyes. "I'm really sorry for everything, and it's okay if you don't forgive me, but if you want to talk about something, I promise it will stay between us."

"I don't-"

"And don't worry, I'm going to be fine. I mean, I don't want to get back together or anything. I got over the idea a long time ago."

Great. Even my ex isn't that person for me.

"Okay. But you can NOT tell a soul."

"I won't. I promise." He says, linking his pinky with mine.

"I...kind of fell for Niall Horan, and he loves someone else and I'm mad."

His reaction isn't quite what I expected.

"I kind of figured."

"What?" I ask, surprised.

"I kind of figured you'd end up liking him, so I'm not really surprised. Do you want to make him jealous or? I think it would kill him to see us back together."

I make a face. "Jed...I don't know."

"I promise I won't get any feelings. I've been seeing someone anyway."

"Really? Who?"

"You don't know her. She goes to another school, but it's not serious yet."

I shrug. "I don't think it's going to work. I mean, he loves her, so..."

"Trust me, it's going to work. I saw the way he looked when you pulled me up the stairs."

I look down at my nails. "Alright. But let's wait ten more minutes."

***

Ten minutes later, we walk back downstairs and into the kitchen. Lilly exits it, with the same annoyed face, and judging by Niall's face, it probably means that she failed to get a drink once again.

Zoe smiles at Jed and I, but Niall looks sort of disappointed.

Jed places an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him so my back is at Niall and Zoe, before whispering into my ear:

"Laugh in five seconds."

I do just that and then pour coke and Jägermeister into a cup.

"I'm gonna go to the toilet babe." Jed tells me and I nod.

Zoe then takes Niall's hand to lead him out of the kitchen, but he tells her he forgot his drink and that he'll meet her in the living room.

"Really Rey?" he asks.

"Mind your own business, okay? I'm not your problem." I tell him and walk out of the kitchen.

I find Lilly outside, having the occasional drag from Jason's cigarette.

"Here you go." I tell her and hand her the drink. "Don't tell Niall I gave you this."

"Wow, thanks Rey." She smiles. "Oh, and by the way, I don't really like Zoe."

I shrug. "So?"

She smirks. "Come on, I see the way you look at her."

"What? How do I look at her?"

"Like you want to rip her extensions out." Jason says, but then shuts up after we give him a look.

"He talks about you, you know." Lilly continues. "Like, if you do or say something funny he'll tell me and Eddy about it. And I've never heard him talking about Zoe when she wasn't around."

"That doesn't mean-"

She places a hand on my shoulder. "I know my brother better than anyone else. Trust me when I say this: Zoe is a way of having you without having you."

"He told me he loves her." I tell her.

"Bullshit. I asked him that two days ago and he laughed."

"He's kissing her at midnight."

She shrugs. "That doesn't really matter, does it? For him at least. He's never believed in superstitions."

"It kind of matters to me though."

"Can I go inside?" Jason asks. "I don't really want to hear about this."

I nod and he leaves us alone.

"I'm trying to make him jealous with my ex. Is it childish?"

"Hm, well I was there when he saw you two walking up the stairs, so I'd say it's working."

I lean against the railing and light up a cigarette.

"Look, I know that if you think he really loves her and whatever there isn't much that I can say to change your mind or the way you feel about it, but I can tell you one thing. He's changed a lot in the past months, and that was way before he met her, but not before he met you. And that says something about how he feels about you." She says and I take another drag. "But you need patience, he's complicated and-"

"Oh, I know that. But I'm just...I'm tired of trying to like, make things happen. He knows how I feel, well maybe not entirely, but he knows I'd be up for...ugh. He knows, and he's with her. It's fine, I'm just trying to get over him, even though we were never together."

She looks at me with compassion. "I'm sorry. I just needed to tell you that. Thanks again for the drink."

I watch her go inside before I continue smoking. I try convincing myself that she's right, but Niall's actions prove her words don't mean a thing.

When I go back inside, the song changes and puts me in a slightly better mood, so I find Jed and start dancing with him.

Jake is talking to Harry across the room when he sees me and gives me a confused look. I wave it off and turn around to kiss Jed.

A few songs later, I feel a bit dizzy because the drinks kicked in a few minutes ago, so I walk back outside to have a smoke. Zayn and Gigi are leaning against the railing, talking in hushed tones.

"Oh...sorry." I say.

"It's fine, I was going inside anyway." She says and smiles at me before she pushes herself off the railing and walks back inside.

"Hi." Zayn says when Gigi disappears.

"Hi." I say back and he lights my cigarette as soon as I put it between my lips. "So you're getting back with her?"

"I don't know. Does it...bother you?" he asks, awkwardly looking down at his shoes.

"No, it's fine." I assure him. It is.

"Kind of figured anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I always kind of knew you had a thing for Niall. For the past month or so at least." He says, smiling in a kind way that makes me feel better.

"I wasn't using you..."

"I know you were." He says. "It's fine."

I look down at my hands. "I'm sorry."

"I was kind of trying to get over Gigi as well, so...I'm sorry too."

I smile and he opens his arms, so I take two steps and let him pull me into his chest as I close my eyes.

"Do you think she's his person?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?"

"Like you and Gigi. You're always going to have....something there."

I feel him shaking his head. "No way. I don't think it's going to last. Not as long as you don't fall in love with somebody else... at least."

"What?"

I take a drag from my cigarette, not moving out of his embrace though. He smells good.

"I mean, I kind of get the feeling that he's with her to make up for the fact that you'd never date him...but he's never going to get too serious as long as there's still a tiny possibility of having a chance with you."

I laugh. "He told me he loves her."

"Did you ask him if he loves you?"

I open my eyes. "No. Why the fuck would I ask him that?"

"The answer might surprise you. And if he says no...then that's that, and you get over it."

I take a step back from him and put the cigarette out in the ashtray. "But, it's too soon-"

"Rey, it's been four years since you've first met, and four months since you started getting to know each other. I think...if you don't ask him now you'll never know. And you'll regret it."

I nod. "I need way more shots before I do that though."

He laughs. "I'll help you with that then."

Zayn and I do two shots of Vodka each, before he walks away to find Gigi.

At this point I'm at the last stage of being tipsy, so I decide I'm brave enough to talk to Niall. I know it's the worst idea in the world, but Zayn looks wise and I'm one shot away from getting drunk.

"Hey Rey, there are ten more minutes until midnight, so we're bringing out the fireworks, okay?" Jake asks and I nod, not even listening to his other questions about Jed.

"Did you give my sister alcohol?" Niall asks as he comes up to me while I'm in the hallway, trying to find the keys to the gate.

"What? No I didn't. Lighten up Niall...she's sixteen. You never drank at her age?"

He rolls his eyes. "It's different!"

"Why are you even asking me? Do you want me to crawl into her stomach and get it?"

"Oh God, you're drunk."

I snort. "Like fuck I am. I'm not. Anything else?"

"Yeah. Why in the world would you get back with your abusive ex?"

"How about you-"

"Mind my own business? Yeah I know, but fuck that."

"Look, Niall. You have a girlfriend, I have my own...thing, let's just leave it at that, okay? You have no right to judge me or tell me what to do when you're with someone else."

"Five minutes until midnight!" someone yells. "Everyone outside!"

People start walking to the coatroom to find their jackets, and before Niall turns around to go too, I grab his hand. I make sure no one can hear us.

"What?" he asks.

Fuck, here we fucking go.

"Do you-"

The words get stuck in my throat.

"Do you love me the way you love her?" I ask.

He looks into my eyes.

"No."

Then he pulls his hand away and walks into the coatroom.

It takes a few seconds to get myself together before I walk into the kitchen, do another shot, and then walk upstairs to get my fur coat.

I find Jed in the mass of people gathered in front of my front gate, and after I see Jake with some random guy, I turn around.

"You okay?" Jed asks me, placing a hand on my cheek.

"Yeah."

I ask Sophia to take a picture of us before the countdown starts, and I feel like everything is unreal as people start counting down from ten to one.

Fuck everything, fuck Niall, fuck...everything. I'm over it.

As I press my lips against Jed's I look around to see if I can find Niall and Zoe, but then the moment is over and I pull away.

"Happy New Year." Jed says and I say it back, smiling, even though inside I am confused and screaming.

Ten minutes later, everyone is back inside the house, ready to drink and dance some more. They seem to have a good time, but I don't feel like it, so I tell Jake that I have something to take care of upstairs.

I walk up to my room and lock the door behind me before I drop down on the bed. The year barely started and I'm already done with it.

Welcome to my life.

There's a knock at the door so I groan before I get up and open it.

It's Zayn again.

"Hey." I say and step aside to let him come in.

"Are you okay?"

I shrug and sit down beside him on my bed after closing the door.

"Thought you'd need your phone if you're hiding." He laughs and hands me my phone.

"Thanks."

"So you kissed Jed? Didn't expect that."

I wave it off. "Yeah, I don't know. I'm just confused."

"Do you really love him?"

"No." I say, rolling my eyes.

"I mean Niall."

"Oh." I look at the rug. "Yeah. I mean, I'm falling for him. But I asked him Zayn."

His face tenses up. "And?"

"And he said no."

Zayn's face clearly saddens and I hate the fact that he feels sorry for me.

"Should I, I don't know, fight for him? I don't know how this works, it never happened before."

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him. "Loving someone doesn't always mean fighting for them. Sometimes loving someone means letting them go. And if he's happy with her, then you should just move on."

"He cheated on her. With me." I tell him.

"When?"

"In France."

He doesn't look surprised. "Did he tell her?"

I shake my head. "But I told him he can't do that to her and we can't keep doing...stuff if he's with her, and since then we haven't talked."

"I'm sorry. But maybe that's how it's supposed to be."

"Yeah, you're right. You should go back-"

Before I can finish the sentence, there's a knock at the door.

"Yeah, I need to find Gigi anyway because she's tipsy." He smiles. "You can always talk to me, okay?"

"Thanks." I say and kiss his cheek before he stands up from the bed.

When he opens the door, he nearly bumps into Niall.

"Sorry mate." He says and leaves, leaving Niall and I alone, staring at each other.

"So, two in a row huh? Nice." He sarcastically says, leaning against the doorframe.

"For Christ's sake, what do you want now?!" I groan, taking off my fur coat and putting it back in my walk-in closet.

"Someone spilled something in the kitchen and I wanted to know where to find a mop."

That's a lie; I know it is, because there's a mop in the kitchen, literally leaning against the wall behind the door.

"There's a mop in the kitchen behind the door. Close the door behind you please."

"Fine." He says and I turn around to take my shoes as I hear the door closing.

I put them back on the shelf and unzip the back of my dress before I turn around to face the mirror, I nearly have a heart attack when I see Niall leaning against the door.

"What the fuck." I say.

"You said to close the door behind me."

I sigh and get on my tiptoes to find something decent to wear for the rest of the night.

"Are you going to sleep?" he asks.

"No, I'm just changing into something more comfortable."

I find a red velvet crop top, my black jeans and a Ramones jacket to match my sneakers.

Rey: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=233804330

"Do you mind?" I ask and then close the door to my walk-in closet to change.

When I come out, I see him sitting at my desk, looking down at something on his phone.

"Why are you here Niall?" I ask as I put on my sneakers.

"I came to ask about the mop."

"I told you where it was ten minutes ago and yet you're still in my room." I argue, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yeah I-" he starts and places his elbow on my desk, which causes the laptop to light up.

It takes me two seconds after he looks at the screen for my stomach to turn upside down.

"How to get over a fuckboy?" Niall reads out loud while looking at the screen and then looks back at me.

He doesn't look amused at all.

"Do you mean me?" he asks and I nod.

He looks confused.

"When did you...you want to get over me? When were you..." he trails off, running a hand through his hair.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I exclaim. "You're taking the piss, right?"

"No, I'm not. When were you...under me? When did you like-"

"Fuck you Niall!" I yell and push him as soon as he stands up from the chair.

"What?" he asks, taking a hold of my shoulders and keeping me in place. "When did you like me so you can get over me?"

"Right Niall, I got into the fucking cold water just to have a laugh, and I told you all those things because I was bored inside where it was warm! You're such an ungrateful little bitch!" I spit and free myself from his grip.

"I didn't-"

"Don't play dumb, Jesus! You could've figured it out when I asked you if you loved me and you told me no! I can't believe that you're actually that dumb, I can't."

"What?" he asks, getting angrier by the second. "You never asked me if I loved you!"

"Yes I fucking DID!" I scream, slamming the laptop shut. "And you said no! So don't try to act like you're the victim or something. I'm already getting over you, so what the fuck does it matter anyway?"

He doesn't answer, so I open the door and point towards the hallway. "Leave. Be happy with her, and I'm going to be happy with someone else and it's going to be fine. You were right, I was never a choice for you, and you were never a choice for me. It was just sexual tension, and now that we're over that, you can go. Please."

"Are you sure?" he asks, and I feel like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Yeah. Leave."

"Fine." Niall huffs and walks towards the door, but then slams his hand against it at the last second, closing it.

"Leave."

"You asked me if I love you the way you love her." He says and I take a step further away from him.

"Leave." I repeat.

There's silence for a few seconds before I speak up.

"And you said no."

"Yeah, because I don't love her."

I try to do the math in my head, and just as I am about to ask if he knows what his anecdote actually means, there's a knock at the door.

"Rey, it's Zoe! Have you seen Niall?"

I open the door and she looks at us, without a bit of suspicion on her face.

"Hi babe, they're playing beer pong downstairs in five minutes and I want you on my team!" she smiles. "See you downstairs okay?"

Then she kisses him on the lips before she smiles at me and walks away.

I wait for her to walk down the stairs before I turn back to Niall.

"Do you know what it means...what you just said?"

"Yeah I know." he says, rolling his eyes.

"Liar."

"Are you serious right now?"

"You can't even like me Niall, not after everything you've said to me in the last...you're lying and I'm done with it. I'm done. I can't do it anymore, you're fucking with my head and I am done." I tell him, shaking my head and taking a step out the door.

"Look." He says and cups my face so I can look into his eyes.

"What now?"

"Just because I don't love you the way you want me to, doesn't mean I don't love you with all I have."

I get a weird feeling in my stomach.

"Niall! Come oon!" Zoe yells from downstairs, so he lets go of my face and walks away, without looking back at me.

---

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Hope you liked it; let me know what your favorite/least favorite part was :D

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1. which was your favorite part of the chapter and why?

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xoxo,

Ronnie