That night the Deputy fell asleep on the couch. It wasn't a great couch but it was better than that clinic bed. She was comfortable enough, at least until she heard Carmina crying from her room. Remembering what she told Kim about how she'd help with Carmina, the Deputy slid out of her blanket and shuffled her way upstairs.

     She didn't want to wake up Nick and Kim if they weren't already awake so she quietly crept into Carmina's room. Carmina stood inside her crib while holding onto the side bars. Her tiny lungs were so strong, and so loud. It was incredible.

     When Carmina saw the Deputy she let out another wail, making sure she knew she wanted attention. Now, the Deputy didn't know the first thing about how to be a good parent. Her mom wasn't exactly the pinnacle of motherhood and she didn't even know her dad so when she was around Carmina it was all a crapshoot. She just knew what not to do, and what Kim told her to do.

      For some reason Carmina has been extra clingy lately according to Kim, something about sleep training, honestly the Deputy couldn't really remember. But she was going to be leaving tomorrow and one night with her goddaughter didn't sound like the worst thing in the world. So, she walked over to the crib, plastering on a smile for the screaming toddler and lifted her into her arms.

     She bounced her body a little bit, resting Carmina on her shoulder. Kim said she was never hungry at this time of night so it wouldn't be that. Her diaper wasn't full so it didn't need to be changed. The only reason the Deputy could think of for Carmina's screaming was she wanted to be with someone.

     And that was exactly what she wanted. As soon as the Deputy started bouncing her and whispering to her about how big and loud she was getting (in an adoring tone of course) Carmina quieted down right away.

     After spending a little while with her, the Deputy put Carmina back in her crib so she could sleep. She made it out the door and was almost down the steps when she heard the beautiful sound of a screaming baby once more.

     With a sigh and a soft chuckle the Deputy turned to walk back up the stairs. As she crept up the stairs the door to Nick and Kim's bedroom opened and Nick stumbled out, still half asleep. He had on sweat pants and an old t-shirt that was inside out.

     "Don't worry, I've got her." The Deputy whispered as Nick rubbed his eyes. When he opened his eyes the Deputy was giving him a reassuring smile.

     "Ok, thanks." Nick said with a yawn and turned to go back into their room. The Deputy opened the door to Carmina's room again. Finding the same scene she found the first time.

     This time she held Carmina and when she finally calmed down she brought her downstairs. When they snuck out of her room she made the hushing noise to Carmina. Not that it would really affect her, she didn't even know what that meant, but it was good to interact with her. She brought Carmina down to the couch, angling the baby monitor on the coffee table so that Nick and Kim could see the couch on their screen.

     The Deputy laid down on her back with her head propped up on the arm of the couch, holding Carmina on top of her. Carmina looked thrilled to be on the couch with her, crawling all over her stomach with curiosity. "You win for tonight, but you have to promise me you're going to sleep ok? If not then I'll have to bring you upstairs alright?" The Deputy explained in a hushed whisper to the baby.

     Carmina looked around her living room with a sparkle in her eyes, she acted like she wanted to play but the Deputy kept her glued to her hip. "Would you like for me to tell you a story?" She asked and Carmina stared at her.

     She babbled something in baby talk and laughed. "Ok, well I don't actually know any baby stories so I'll make something up." The Deputy brushed some of Carmina's hair out of her face absentmindedly. "Oh I've got it. Ok, settle down, Auntie Dep's got a story for you."

     Carmina didn't really 'settle down' per say, she just directed her attention to the hand brushing her hair.

     The Deputy held out a finger for both of her little hands, giving Carmina something to play with while she told her the story. She spoke in a whisper, hoping that a light tone would help Carmina fall asleep. "Once upon a time, and this is a true story by the way, once upon a time there was a princess. And this princess was just a little baby but she was beloved by everyone she met. Everyone loved her so much because she was so innocent, so pure, everyone was jealous of her happiness. So, the princess's subjects all worked very hard to give her little gifts or make her laugh, just something to make her happy because when she was happy, they shared a small piece of that happiness. The princess loved these people because no matter who they were, they were like her family.

     "Now this princes wasn't just a sweet little princess, she was an awesome, cool princess that didn't take no as an answer. And just like all princesses need, she had a knight. Now, the knight was tired, she felt old despite her youth, she was almost tired of being a knight but, when this knight met her new princess...she was thrilled. This princess was full of energy and life and she showed her knight exactly what was worth it in this world. And from the minute the knight was appointed to the princess she swore that she would fight every dragon and she would slay every monster that ever tried to hurt her princess, because that was her duty." Carmina had laid down on the Deputy's chest, her eyes growing more and more tired from the Deputy's story.

     "Are you proud of yourself princess? Because everyday you're teaching this knight how to keep fighting." She asked Carmina who was already half asleep. Pleased with herself and her calming story, the Deputy closed her own eyes. She kept two hands on Carmina, one on the back of her head and neck and the other on her back to keep her from moving. Anytime Carmina moved, the Deputy would be able to feel it and react so she wouldn't fall.

     What the Deputy didn't know about the baby monitor was that anytime it picked up sound it transmitted it to the main baby monitor in Nick and Kim's room, and when the baby monitor was sitting on the coffee table they could both see and hear everything that was said.

     When Nick came back to bed Kim was awake too. She was so used to always being up with Carmina that she couldn't fall right back to sleep. Nick could, he basically fell back into bed and landed face first into his pillow.

     Kim let out a small chuckle at her tired husband and stared at the ceiling, hoping it would help her fall asleep. She wasn't feeling tired and was just antsy so she turned over in bed. The baby monitor was sitting on her bedside table facing her so that she could see everything going on in Carmina's room. Except it wasn't showing her Carmina's room, it was showing her the living room for some reason.

     Kim rubbed her eyes and looked back at the baby monitor trying to figure out what she was looking at until she realized the Deputy has brought Carmina down to the couch with her. Carmina didn't look very tired, instead choosing to play with the Deputy's fingers. She could tell that the Deputy was saying something but she couldn't really hear it so she turned the volume up louder.

     "Ok, settle down, Auntie Dep's got a story for you." She heard and hit Nick's arm to wake him up.

     "Wha- what? What's wrong?" He asked quickly sitting up.

     "Look," Kim motioned to the baby monitor and listened intently. Her and Nick both listened to her story, Kim had to wipe a tear out of her eye. "She's so gentle with her." Kim remarked in a whisper. Carmina was falling asleep on the Deputy's chest, perfectly content with herself.

    "See? You don't have to worry so much about her, the Deputy is ok." Nick said and kissed Kim's cheek.

     "Tell me you haven't noticed any differences with her?" Kim said and turned around to face Nick. Nick sighed and looked down at Kim's hands taking them in his own.

     "I have but, you just heard her, being around Carmina is helping." He made the point and Kim nodded.

     "Still Nick, I was there when she was waking up, I was there in the clinic when she was trying to walk and talk. She'd looked like she'd lost all hope, she acted like she lost her fire." Kim gripped Nick's hand back and looked him in the eyes. "Please, keep an eye on her. She doesn't want to stay here I know that, but I need to know that she has someone watching her back." Kim begged and Nick nodded.

     He placed a kiss on her hand. "Of course I will. After we rescued her, the gang and I we made a pact to always keep an eye on her. No more travelling or doing stupid stuff alone, that was our deal. I ain't breaking a deal like that." He assured her and Kim made a pained smile.

     "Thank you. You're gonna be an amazing dad." Kim told him with confidence and Nick smiled back at her. They kissed and Nick went back to bed. Kim rolled over to face the baby monitor, watching the Deputy and Carmina sleep together.

     Hoping to keep the Deputy longer, Kim created an elaborate excuse about needing help around the house. Just small stuff like reaching a book on a high shelf (they're the same height but whatever, the Deputy didn't think to hard about it) or helping fold laundry. The Deputy was certain that the doctor put her up to this as a way of getting light exercise without overdoing it. She was also convinced that Kim still wanted to know her name. It was fine with her, she knew that out of everybody she'd met, Kim would probably be the most understanding.

     It wasn't that the Deputy didn't like her name she just legitimately didn't know if people would laugh at it. It wasn't a terrible name, just unfortunate, and if certain people heard it was her name she'd never hear the end of it.

     "What are you thinking about?" Kim asked when she came back from carrying a small stack of towels into the kitchen. The Deputy didn't respond, she was staring ahead in space on the couch.

     "Deputy? Hello?" Kim asked again and waved her hand. The Deputy seemed to shake out of her trance and looked over at her.

     "Sorry, did you say something?" She asked, not realizing that she'd been zoning out.

     "I just asked what you were thinking about." Kim asked innocently and carried the empty laundry basket into the laundry room.

     "Oh sorry, I don't really know where I was just then." The Deputy rubbed her forehead and rolled her shoulders. "Hey Kim?" she asked and Kim liked her head out of the laundry room door.

     "Yes?"

     "Would you like anymore help around here? Because if not I was gonna go find Grace or maybe Mary May."

     Kim was quiet then she walked into the living room. She sat down next to the Deputy. "Deputy, I know you don't really want to hear this but...I'm worried about you. It's not that I don't trust you but I know that if you go out and hear someone needs help then you'll rush to go help them, which is wonderful but in your condition? It could be bad. All I'm asking is that you give yourself a couple more days of resting, please?"

   "But Kim I've been resting for over 6 weeks, I'm ok now and besides, it's just a talk. I'm not going to go yell at John or anything like that." The Deputy kept her tone gentle and Kim shook her head.

     "I know, and you are one of the most resilient people I've ever met but please, I just have a really bad feeling about this." Kim's eyes were sincere, she really did have a bad feeling about this.

     "How about I just talk to Grace and see how she's doing? I promise I won't do anything stupid, and I'll be back for dinner." The Deputy promised and Kim looked relieved.

     "Thank you." Kim thanked her and smiled.

     The Deputy found Grace at the Lamb of God Church by chance. She didn't expect to find her there but she was glad that she checked. She drove up to the front door and found Grace up in the bell tower, watching for anyone.

     "Hey Deputy, hang on I'll come down there." Grace said and climbed down a ladder to the ground where the Deputy was standing. They sat on the stone wall together, silent for a long time.

     "How have you been? Have Kim and Nick been putting you to work?" Grace asked and the Deputy laughed.

     "Nah, they've been worse. They've been telling me to rest." She said and Grace cracked a smile.

     "But seriously, how have you been?" Grace's voice was serious again.

     "I'm fine. People need to stop worrying so much about me. I'll get back up, I always do." The Deputy was clearly frazzled with all the extra attention she'd been getting recently.

     "People are just worried."

     "Yeah I know but nobody used to worry so damn much, not until I got kidnapped." The Deputy sighed, rubbing her thumb over a rough stone on the wall.

     "People always used to worry, Kim especially, you getting hurt just gave us a reason to vocalize it." Grace explained and the Deputy looked at the ground.

     "...I know. I just wish people would forget about it and let me do my job."

     "Which is? I remember you coming in here to arrest Joseph Seed, not become our holy saviour. Deputy, I'm not telling you to never help again, I'm asking you to be ok with giving yourself a much needed break." Grace looked at her despite the Deputy not making eye contact.

     "I just don't know how to do that." The Deputy said and Grace nodded.

     "I know, but I will help you figure it out, and we all know Kim will." Grace said and the Deputy let out a small laugh.

     Grace could see right through the Deputy's lies. She could look past every excuse and see what was really wrong with her. She knew that her wanting to 'do her job' was just because she wanted a distraction from her thoughts. She knew that the Deputy wasn't fine and that she wasn't ok but she was driving herself insane trying to figure out who she was when she wasn't fighting.

     Grace had gone through the same thing when she came back from the war. She turned to hunting and marksmanship as her outlets but when you're barred from fighting or shooting the way the Deputy was, then you can start to lose yourself.

     Grace got an idea on how to help the Deputy. "Hey, come follow me." She said and stood up, she turned and offered her hand to the Deputy which she accepted. Grace helped her to her feet and started walking into the woods. The Deputy didn't know where they were going but didn't ask, she felt like being surprised. They didn't walk for long, but when they arrived the Deputy was shocked.

     Displayed in front of them was a gun range, secretly tucked away in the woods. Grace had targets hanging from trees, sticking up behind rocks, through broken branches, everywhere you looked were targets. "This is where I go to have some alone time. I sight my guns here." She said and took her rifle off her shoulder. "I'm guessing Kim confiscated all of your guns?" Grace asked behind her.

     "All except my pistol." The Deputy patted the pistol on her hip. The Deputy was still looking around at the targets when Grace held out her rifle to her.

     "Here, try it out." The Deputy stared in silence for a moment, trying to process what was happening.

     "Hang on, you want me to shoot your gun?" She asked with disbelief in her voice.

     "Yeah, you need an outlet and shooting is the perfect outlet. Just...don't change settings please?" Grace asked as the Deputy accepted her rifle.

     "Of course, yeah I won't touch anything." The Deputy promised and looked through the sight on top of Grace's rifle. It was weird to hold somebody else's gun, but feeling the weight of the heavy metal under her fingers was comforting.

     Grace took a step back and watched as the Deputy got into her shooting position on her stomach. A small grin crept onto her face as she watched her relax into her shot.

     The Deputy lined up the shot with a closer target, wanting to see what kind of accuracy it had. Of course it hit dead on, it was Grace's gun. She shot just about every target Grace had set up, only missing a couple of times. If she missed she'd try again and get it right then move onto the next one.

     It was so good to get to shoot again. The Deputy hated having to shoot people, but when it was targets it was much easier. The gun had a silencer on it, of course, so it didn't have a loud bang when it fired but it was relieving stress either way.

     She didn't realize how much she missed it, shooting. It was always something done out of pure necessity, it was something that had to happen whether you wanted to or not. But after a year of shooting it had become second nature. The bolt action, loading bullets, making sure it didn't jam, they were all mundane activities that had made sitting in that clinic bearable. Now, the doctor didn't let her have her rifles or semi automatics in the bed with her but she allowed her empty pistol and she would let Grace hand her individual components of her guns if they were kept far away from her. It was something about making sure the Deputy wasn't putting herself or anyone else in danger.

     That was the best part of getting out of that damn place, people didn't treat her like a child or like she'd gone crazy. She knew the doctor was just doing her job but still, it felt so demeaning to be forced to walk around on crutches (which she hadn't used since she left the clinic) and take her pain pills at a specific time of day.

     The Deputy tried to expel that annoyance and anger towards her situation through shooting, and it was working. With every metal target she hit she felt immensely better. She turned around to look at Grace with a huge smile on her face.

     "Thank you Grace, seriously. This is just what I needed." She thanked her and stood up off the ground. Her legs wobbled a bit but they did that when the Deputy stood up. She handed the rifle back to Grace who reloaded it.

     "Anytime, come on let's get you back before Kim gets upset at us." Grace shouldered her rifle and gave the Deputy a pat on the shoulder. They started back through the woods and walked till they could see the top of the church.

     They didn't talk as they walked but they were normally a quiet pair. They just listened to the sounds of the forest and enjoyed each other's company. They came down the hill right before the church and saw that nobody else was there except for the Deputy's truck.

     Grace walked a little in front of the Deputy so that she could open a small gate in the fence for them. Suddenly the Deputy felt something sting her neck. She reached her hand up and felt her neck, pulling away a small contraption of some sort. Her vision got wonky and the world started spinning around her. Unable to keep her balance she fell to her knees, she wasn't even able to get Grace's name out of her mouth.

     Grace turned around at the sound of something falling and saw the Deputy on all fours. "Deputy!" She exclaimed and rushed to her friends side.

     "What happened?" She asked and the Deputy tried to say something. Her brain was too scrambled to get out a sentence so she just showed her what stung her neck. It was one of the Peggies' Bliss bullets. Grace immediately scanned the area for any Peggies and reached for her gun.

     Out of desperation for something that didn't feel like it was spinning the Deputy gripped a patch on Grace's pants. Grace didn't know how to help so she just put her arm around the Deputy and made sure she didn't fall over.

     "Let's try and get you to the truck." Grace was already lifting her to her feet. She brought one of the Deputy's arms over her shoulders. With her other arm Grace hooked it under the Deputy's right arm to help hold her up.

     Moving wasn't great for the Deputy's rocky vision but Grace was determined to get her out of there before any Peggies showed up. She hobbled with the Deputy until she got to the passenger side door of her truck. She opened the door and helped her in, doing most of the heavy lifting until the Deputy was sitting in the seat properly. Her face had gone pale and her eyes were heavy and unfocused. Grace put her seatbelt on her and closed the door.

     As quick as she could she hoped in the drivers side door and peeled away from the church. "I'm bringing you back to Nick and Kim's house but I have to make sure nobody follows us." Grace said as they rumbled down the road in the opposite direction of Nick and Kim's house.

     The Deputy didn't open her eyes, instead she kept them scrunched up and shut so that her vision wouldn't keep swimming the way it was. She could hear Grace talking but it sounded far away, almost like she was underwater. The Bliss sped into her system, eating away at her will to stay awake. The steady rocking of the truck didn't help either, everything felt to comfortable. She couldn't help it, she basically drifted to sleep.

     Grace looked over at her unconscious friend and turned down a random road abruptly she couldn't see anyone following her but that wasn't very relieving. Still, she'd driven all around Hope County and the Deputy hadn't woken up yet. She knew she was still alive, she was breathing. But still, it bothered Grace that she'd never even seen the Peggie sniper. They must have been watching them in the woods and radioed John that the Deputy was there.

     After she convinced herself that she'd lost anyone that was following her, Grace sped up and went down the road that led to Nick and Kim's house. She practically skidded to a stop in front of their house and was already putting the truck in park as she opened her door. Grace leapt out of the truck and shouted for Nick.

     "Help! I need help!" She shouted and raced to the passenger side door. Nick scurried out of the hangar at the same time Kim opened the front door of their house. Kim shouted for Nick and rushed over to the truck.

     "What happened?" Kim demanded as Grace opened the passenger side door. The Deputy's seatbelt kept her in her seat but her unconscious body leaned dangerously towards the ground. "Is she ok?"

     "No, she got shot by a Bliss bullet." Grace said and Nick was suddenly right by her side.

     "Let's get her inside." Nick said and Grace unclamped her seatbelt. They were careful to not let her fall as Nick grabbed her right shoulder and Grace grabbed her left shoulder. Kim closed the door in the truck and raced to the front door of the house.

     Nick and Grace carried the Deputy up the front steps, her feet were dragging through the dirt but she was already as propped up as she could be. "What happened?" Kim demanded and swung the front door open.

     "We were by the Lamb of God church and she just collapsed. I got her here as fast as I could." Grace said and her and Nick brought her to the couch.

     "I don't know what to do for a Bliss bullet!" Kim panicked as the team lowered her onto the couch. They lifted her legs so that they were on the couch and took a step back. Grace knelt down next to her and felt her pulse.

     Nick tried to comfort Kim while she rushed to find a towel and water. Grace felt around her pocket and found what she was looking for. The Bliss bullet looked like something from a movie. It was a small canister no bigger than Grace's thumb and long needle stuck to the end. All of the Bliss from the canister was in the Deputy's system.

      "All we can do is wait and see when she wakes up. But I'd be careful, I don't know how big of a dose this is and sometimes coming out of the bliss can be dangerous." Grace told them as Kim rushed back into the room.

     "Did you get attacked?" Nick asked and Grace shook her head.

     "No, we were just walking and when we came back she just fell over. I didn't even see anybody." Kim dipped the towel in water and pressed it to the Deputy's forehead gently.

     The Deputy made a strange noise and shuddered away from Kim's touch. "Careful Kim." Nick warned and Grace placed a hand on her shoulder.

     "Let me, we don't know what she's seeing right now." Grace took the towel from Kim who backed away from the two. Kim and Nick watched as Grace carefully dabbed the Deputy's forehead.

     The Deputy reacted to Grace touching her like it was a live wire. Her arms and legs suddenly gained the mobility to try and fight back despite her eyes never opening. She tried to claw Grace who promptly put a knee on her chest to stop her from rolling off the couch.

     "Nick grab her arms!" Grace ordered as the Deputy fought back. Nick ran around behind her head and grabbed each of her elbows, pinning them down to the couch. Grace stepped off of her chest and grabbed her legs, pressing them down into the couch.

     "Dep, snap out of it!" Nick yelled into her ear as she thrashed. The Deputy shouted and shrieked like she as in pain, her whole body trying desperately to fight off her friends.

     "She's in the Bliss Nick, she doesn't know it's you. She probably thinks we're the Peggies." Grace said and held fast to her legs. Kim watched in horror as the Deputy struggled so horribly.

     "Don't let her hurt herself!" She exclaimed and suddenly heard Carmina start crying.

     "Don't bring Carmina down here, you go up and try to keep her calm. We'll stay here until she calms down." Nick said and readjusted his grip on her elbows as the Deputy fought to get loose. Kim nodded and hurried upstairs.

     "Dep, look it's me! It's Nick, you're ok! They don't have you, you're safe!" He said but his words bounced right off of her.

     "No! Get off of me!" The Deputy screamed but Nick and Grace didn't.

     "Hey Dep, it's ok you ain't anywhere near that fucking Seed ok? You're here with me and Grace and Kim and Carmina." The sound of Carmina's name especially made the Deputy thrash.

     "Maybe she thinks you're John. Say something John wouldn't say! You know she doesn't fight for herself, try something that convinces her we aren't going to hurt anybody." Grace said and Nick's brain was scrambled.

     "Ok uh uh, I'm not hurting anybody, I just want to talk?" His words, although unsure sounding, were helping.

     "Good, I don't want to go near your family, I only want you." Grace added. These were all thing John would never say but since the Deputy thought it was John saying them she calmed down.

     "If you stop fighting then I won't hurt anyone." Nick tried and the Deputy's fight basically stopped instantly. He didn't actually think that one would work he was just spitballing. "Good, just stay calm ok? We're not going to hurt you." Nick reassured her but that got her upset again.

     Grace cursed and held tighter to her feet. "Damn it!" She exclaimed. "I guess that's a trigger statement."

     "Maybe the most not-John thing I can do is not talk?" Nick suggested.

    They tried not saying anything and the Deputy slowly calmed down. Eventually she stopped thrashing and her breathing got more even. Nick looked over at Grace and gave her a small nod before he eased off the Deputy's arms.

     "Christ." He muttered and wiped his forehead with his arm.

     Grace carefully stepped away from her legs, her hands raised so that if she thrashed again she could quickly jump back in her. "I think she's out now." She said quietly.

     Nick looked to the stairs. "I've gotta go check on-" Grace shushed him and pointed to the Deputy, she didn't want her to hear any of theirs names incase she jumped back into a panic. "Oh right, I'll be back." He said and walked up the stairs. Grace let out a deep breath and studied the Deputy. She looked down at her friend with a frown.

     She kicked herself over the fact that she didn't see him. She didn't even know there was a Peggie sniper anywhere near the church, and yet he managed to get to the Deputy so easily. It was too easy. Grace promised herself she would be more vigilant next time she was ever out with the Deputy.