Spring time in Hope county was wonderful, finally after all those cold, dark months the weather was getting warm. The trees around Holland Valley was getting greener by the day, farmers' fields were growing tall with hay. Birds that had migrated down south for the winter were slowly returning to give Montana back their sweet serenade. But, the warmer weather meant the Peggies were getting active again.

The cult had been hammering the Resistance for over a month with planes, boats, trucks, anything they could get their hands on. John has tried to take his ranch back, and was almost successful until the Deputy blew up one of his planes. Tensions were rising as the Resistance gained more and more members. Both sides were getting antsy but neither side was making any ground.

The Deputy's health wasn't what it used to be. Over the winter she'd gotten even skinner and had pneumonia for two weeks. Adelaide forced her to stay at her and Xander's place while she was sick. Which had absolutely no affect on Adelaide constantly flirting with Xander, quite graphically. The Deputy hated feeling like she was taking advantage of Adelaide and Xander's hospitality but anytime she talked about leaving Adelaide would lock the front door and hide the key in her bra.

So she stayed until she recovered. In that time she discovered that cookies were just about the only thing Adelaide could make without burning, under cooking or over-salting it. She loved Adelaide but it was a major relief for the Deputy to get out of that house.

     The people that most often noticed that the Deputy was getting weaker was Kim and Grace. Both of them could see how worn out she was. After the pneumonia she still felt tired for the rest of the month, making it harder to concentrate and function. Sharky noticed too but anytime he'd say anything to the Deputy she just shook her head and told him she was fine. The daily hammering of the cult was really hard, not only on the Deputy's body but also on her psyche.

     She would get irritated faster, became more ruthless, and let her anger control her before she'd finally calm down. It was dangerous, especially to anyone that crossed her, and everyone could see that.

     One particular day the Deputy had to have some alone time, and the Whitetail mountains were the perfect place to have some. So she trudged off alone and just parked her truck on the side of the road somewhere. She made her way through the woods, not really knowing where she was going. All she knew was that if she had to hear Hurk and Adelaide argue or Grace and Jess bicker or Sharky and Hurk arguing then she would probably flip out and she wanted to actively avoid that.

     The Deputy found a nice little lake to sit by, and so she sat. She didn't feel like fishing, she actually only felt like sleeping, but she knew she wouldn't be able to just sleep. Jacob was pretty upset with her for shooting down his helicopters last week so she'd been keeping her eyes peeled for any hunters.

     Even if she had to look over her shoulder every two seconds it was nice to get away from everything. The mountain air was refreshing but the Deputy knew that wasn't enough. She was tired, she just wanted the fighting to be over. She knew she could never leave so she had to stay until the end, whenever that may be.

     She caught her reflection in the clear water. She looked like hell. Her nose had a big partially-healed gash across it, she had a black eye, a busted lip and dirt on her face. She certainly looked how she felt, but she just dipped her hands in the cold water and wiped off her face, hoping it would help with the swelling.

     Snapping her out of her thoughts was a hail of gun fire. She heard screaming in the distance and knew there was trouble. Of course there was trouble, why wouldn't there be trouble?

     The Deputy followed the sound of screaming and found a bloody scene. Two of Jacob's hunters had their weapons drawn on two civilian campers, another one was dead at their feet. The Deputy crouched down and got out her sniper rifle, hoping she'd have enough time to pick those two hunters off before they killed anyone else. She could hear the civilians pleading for their lives, they begged for the hunters to let them go. That sound, that sound was what haunted the Deputy every night. That was the sound of the people she couldn't save, and the people that she did save that didn't want to be saved.

     She lined up her rifle and aimed right for the hunger on the left. The sound of the gun going off made the hunters react, but not in time for them to run. They were both dead in less than twenty seconds leaving the civilians confused but grateful.

     The Deputy stood up from her cover and made her way over to the civilians. She shouldered her rifle and checked the hunters' pockets for anything useful.

     "Who are you?" The civilians asked. It was a dad and two kids, only the son was the one that had been killed.

     "That's not important, come on you guys need to go." The Deputy ushered and checked the son's pulse. Nothing.

     "W-we don't know where to go!" The daughter exclaimed, she couldn't have been older than 14. She stared at the Deputy with horror in her small eyes, not only horror that those hunters had killed her brother but by how casually the Deputy and killed them.

     The Deputy kept her head on a swivel, keeping her eyes open for any Peggies that might have been close by. "Listen, anywhere is better than here. Take him and get out of here before it's too late." She ordered and the people seemed weary to take her advice.

     She looked like hell and that was helpful in the civilians' decision making. The Deputy hefted her gun, keeping guard over the boy's body while they quickly packed their campsite into their pickup truck.

     One of the hunter's radios crackled. It was a check-in, great now when they didn't respond the Peggies would now something happened to them and would send in more.

     "You guys may want to hurry up, we've got Peggies inbound." The Deputy pressured the people and they shoved everything they could into totes in the back of their truck. The Deputy could hear a truck off in the distance and got antsy. The people finished packing away their things and went to go move the boy. "I got his shoulders." The Deputy said and shouldered her rifle again. She hooked her arms under the boy's armpits and lifted in sync with the dad. They brought him to the truck and laid him in the back.

     The Deputy turned to the people. "If you follow this road until you reach the highway then you'll be good to leave the valley, don't stop for anybody, not until you're a long way from this place. Promise me that you won't stop, turn around or slow down until you're in the clear?" She asked and the dad nodded wearily. He looked towards the back seat where he son laid, and to the front seat where his daughter was crying.

     "I wish I'd never come here." He admitted.

     The nearing sound of tires screeching made the Deputy nervous. "Me too. Now you guys need to go." She opened the door for him and helped him into the truck. She shut the door behind him. "Remember follow this road, no stopping. I'm sorry." The Deputy apologized to the people and stepped away from their truck. She waited for them to drive away and ducked off into the woods, trying to run away from the sound of Peggies.

     She'd stolen the radio off of one of the dead hunters so that she could hear where they were. The found the campsite but after no one was there they fanned out, trying to look for someone on foot.

     When the Deputy decided she was far enough away from the Peggies she stopped by a rock. The Peggies has stopped talking on the radio, that hopefully meant that they were too far away from the Deputy for her to be able to hear them.

     When she stopped moving anger over took the Deputy. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she crouched down to the ground. Those hunters murdered an innocent kid, someone who didn't even have a connection to this place. The Deputy cursed and punched the ground, finding it helped release her anger she kept punching the ground, ignoring the pain that was flourishing across her knuckles.

     Punching didn't help with the tears or with the Deputy's anger towards the Peggies. All it did was wear her knuckles raw. "Fuck this place...fuck this place." She kept muttering over and over again, pressing her hands to either side of her head. Flooded with memories of other dead bodies the Deputy couldn't handle it. She screamed into her sleeve, still being careful not to attract any Peggies. Her anger quickly turned to sadness and immense sorrow. The guilt that hung on her shoulders weighed her down so much she could barely breath.

     Everything she did, everything she has done, it hasn't done a damn thing. She hasn't stopped the cult, she just made it more difficult for them to move. She hasn't brought peace back to the people of Hope County, if anything she'd brought about more suffering. She felt totally and completely useless.

     She was crying when the radio next to her crackled. "Do you see her too?" A voice asked.

     Immediately it was scorned. "You dumbass, what if she has a radio?" She did have a radio and the sound of it made her grab her pack off the ground and book it.

     She ran out from the behind her rock and instantly gunfire broke out around her. Bullets whirred over her head, all trying their best to strike her but she was too fast. She dashed across a clearing and dove into the trees. As she ran she could hear the sound of shouting and orders being barked to follow her. She kept running until she realized what happened.

     She'd ran right into a steep mountainside with no way out. The walls of the mountainside were sheer rock that would be impossible to climb, but when she turned around she could hear Peggies closing in. She was trapped. She could try to fight her way through but with the number of Peggies it would be unlikely she'd survive.

     However, the alternative was surrender and there was no way in hell that would happen. So the only other option was fighting. The Deputy got herself ready and grabbed her automatic rifle, hoping that and her pistol would be enough to keep the Peggies at bay. She backed up to the wall and tried to look for any Peggies hiding in the trees.

     Everything was quiet, until ten Peggies leapt out of the trees. The Deputy opened fire and tagged two but they got up and kept fighting. Their numbers were immense and overpowering but the Deputy was angry. She didn't stop shooting until her clip ran out then they pounced in her.

     She tried to fight them off with her bat but one hit her from behind with the stock of his gun. Another hit her across the face with a pipe. They landed kicks on her chest and her stomach and her back knocking her out completely. She couldn't even fight back enough to yell, all she could do was stop fighting.

     She woke up in a dark room with a bag over her head. Her arms were tied down to a chair and so were her legs. She tried to tug against her restraints but to no avail. Her whole body ached, her head pounded in her skull. Her ribs were sore and she could taste blood. She didn't even have to remember being out in that forest to know that she had the shit beat out of her.

     Her breaths came out with a tattered rattle. She sat in waiting, waiting for what she assumed to come true.

     "You're finally awake." A familiar gruff voice walked into the room.

     Just as she thought, it was Jacob. She couldn't see him through the bag but she could hear his heavy boots making their way over to her. He put a hand on either arm of the chair, squeezing into her forearms. In an instant the bag was ripped off her head, revealing Jacob's face only a foot away from hers.

     He studied her face, she didn't know what he was looking for but she glared right back at him. "You look like shit." He admitted, a hint of a grin on his face.

     "You can thank your boys for me." She growled and Jacob let out a small laugh.

     "You don't know when to quit do you?" Jacob asked rhetorically, steeping away from her chair. "You also don't know how to not do stupid shit alone." He continued and the Deputy just sat there in silence.

     Jacob turned away from the Deputy, turning back to her when he walked to the edge of the room. "Deputy, do you have any idea how bad you are at decision making? You prioritize every life above your own, you never act to survive you always act to serve. That is why the Resistance is taking advantage of you." He monologued and the Deputy didn't meet his eyes. "Look at you, you're broken. Your body is failing you, you take every bullet for those people and they still ask you to do more. They ask you to do everything because you are strong, because they are weak."

     Jacob walked slowly closer to her, intensifying his words to match his presence. "How long are you going to last, Deputy? Hm? How long will it take you to realize those people don't give a shit about you?"

     "I'm doing fine, Jacob. Are you sure you're not talking about yourself-"
    
     "Stop!" Jacob raised his voice. It was the first time she'd ever heard him shout when it wasn't at his men. He took a moment to compose himself and looked back at the Deputy. "You know I have cameras all over this region, you know I can watch your every move, so why do you still lie to me? Why does it matter so much to you that you pretend everything's ok when it's not?" His tone was angry but not like he wanted to hurt her. His anger sounded more like...concern?

     "I made promises." The Deputy defended herself and Jacob shook his head.

     "Your promises aren't special. Do you know what happens if something happens to you? Those people will mourn the loss of your help, burn your body, and then find someone else to replace you. You are not part of some family, you're a fighter that's doing their dirty work. Don't you get tired of it? Tired of the fighting?"

     To be honest she was sick of fighting. Her body was failing her and she was tired all the time but she couldn't let Jacob get into her head.

     "I'm in this fight till the end." The Deputy said, irony was overwhelming when she broke out into a coughing fit. She spit blood out onto the floor and gave Jacob a death glare.

     "You're in over your head, Deputy. And I'm going to prove it to you. When you finally fall, I'll be right here waiting." Jacob walked over to her, pulling the music box out from behind his back.

     "No...no more trials." The Deputy begged and Jacob leaned down to her eye level.

     "I'm the one that decides when this is over." He said and cranked the music box. He opened the lid and Only You poured out like a cancerous oil. The Deputy tried to fight back against it but couldn't, her ears couldn't bear the sound of it.

    
     She was standing alone in the middle of a room. Her gun hung by her side, blood dripping down it's barrel. She had done it, she'd completed the trial. Her body screamed at her the whole time, begging her to stop, but she didn't listen.

     "Very good, Deputy. You've done-" Jacob's voice was cut off by the Deputy crumbling to the ground. Her body did the giving up for her, she didn't even have to do anything. Her legs gave out, and her body didn't have the strength to do a damn thing about it.

     A door opened and Jacob walked in. "Deputy?" He knelt over to her body, pressing two fingers into her neck to check for a pulse. It was there but it was faint. Jacob shouted for a medic and stepped back.

     A medic scrambled in with a medikit and started dressing her wounds, stabbing her leg with some sort of pain reliever. The medic was too scared to ask why Jacob would be trying to save this one after so many others had died, honestly questioning Jacob's judgement was probably a death sentence. So he just did his job and ordered a couple of Peggies to carry her out of the room.