"You know that I love you, but I'm still learnin' to love myself. I'm still learnin' to love myself. Oh, I try and I try to remember sometimes if I breathe, it's alright."

~Still Learning by Halsey ~

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: Bleh a chapter after far too long. Enjoy, lovelies.

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, gun violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, weapons, and other mature themes

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

I sit in my parked car and stare blankly into space.

I'm not sure what I'm doing. I've been in here for half an hour.

I go over the revelation again: I love Robby, I'm opening up to people, I've conquered karate challenges, I have genuine friends outside of the dojo, I'm finally at peace with the drama between me and Eli, therapy is actually working, and I think I'm ready.

I can't be ready. It's only been two days since I told him I had to focus on myself. 

In two days, so much has changed for the better. It feels like things may actually be looking up for me, but I don't want to jinx it.

This I know for sure: my feelings have shifted back to wanting Robby in my life again because I love him and he loves me.

I guess that's not a secret. The problem is that I want to act on it before I'm too late.

But, I really, really, really should focus on myself in case it all goes to hell again. I can't rely on another person to help me be strong. I want to rely on myself.

My phone rings. I pick it up off the passenger seat and see it's Miguel calling.

"Hello?" I answer. I feel like an idiot since I've just been sitting out here wasting time.

"Hey, when are you getting here? Mom made tacos with salsa verde," Miguel tells me excitedly.

"Oh," I panic as I turn off the car, "I just parked. I'll be right in."

"Okay. See you." He hangs up.

I look down at the keychain in my hand once I grab my keys. I stare at the butterfly for a moment too long.

I have to go inside and focus on this later.

Still, my eyes land on Robby's apartment, and my heart beats faster. I redirect my attention.

I unlock the door to the Diaz's apartment, and the smell of Carmen's home cooking comforts me instantly.

"Zion," Carmen smiles from where she sits at the dinner table, "how was your day?"

I hesitate. Aside from Demetri, "It was fine."

"Where'd you go after practice? You kind of disappeared," Miguel speaks up once I sit down with them.

"Disappeared?" Yaya echoes. She's trying to learn English so she can communicate with me and other people better. She's not just doing it for me. Still, it's sweet.

I look at the three of them wearily, "I was with Eli."

Miguel's jaw drops slightly before he catches himself, "You were with Eli?"

"Yeah," I nod. "We just talked."

"You 'just talked?'" 

"Yeah."

"About what?" Miguel asks.

"Um... Kreese." I avoid eye contact as I poke at the beans with my fork. "He was surprisingly easy to talk to about it. He understood more than... more than pretty much anyone else."

"That's good, then," Miguel shrugs. "Are you guys friends now? Orrr, more than friends? Orrr-"

"Friends," I clarify. "I don't like him like that anymore." 

"Oh. Okay," Miguel shrugs. 

"So, I got a flier in the mail about Valley Fest," Carmen changes the subject. "It's next weekend."

I perk up at the mention in surprise. I forgot Valley Fest was a thing.

Miguel looks at the flier she hands to him, "That's Zion's birthday." He turns to me with a smile, "Want to go together again?"

"Oh," I hesitate. "I don't know."

"It is? What do you usually do for your birthday?" Carmen asks curiously.

It's an innocent question; it's a question that makes me sad. "I'd always celebrate with my dad. Last year was the first one without him," I admit. "So, I don't know."

"Well, we don't have to go if you don't want to. We can go to your dad's grave like you wanted before," Miguel offers.

"No," I shake my head. "Maybe for his birthday, but I know for certain he would want me to celebrate mine. Valley Fest, though, I'm not sure. I feel like there will be drama."

"Think about it, mija. Don't pressure yourself. I'm willing to pay for whatever you want: Valley Fest, Golf N' Stuff, a nice dinner," Carmen says sweetly.

"You don't need to do that," I argue.

"Mom is big on birthdays," Miguel chimes in.

"Whatever you want is what you get," Carmen grins. She glances at Miguel, "Within reason."

"More weed," Yaya says excitedly.

"Mami," Carmen frowns while Miguel and I laugh.

Yaya smiles back at us with a wink. 

⭒⭒⭒

Third Person POV

"Listen up," Sensei Silver walks into the dojo. All the students stand together at attention. "You may have noticed an increase in training these past few weeks. Now, we start to put our good skills to use. I have secured Cobra Kai a spot at Valley Fest. We will have a demonstration to attract new students and practice for future events."

Most of the students look excited, including Devon and Kyler. Kenny looks at his older brother with a grin. Tory and Piper keep poker faces at the silver-haired man continues.

"Nichols will be featured in the presentation. The rest of you will earn your way this upcoming week."

"Be prepared. We will only take the strongest," Sensei Kim Da-Eun says firmly. She gives Tory a skeptical look.

"Dismissed."

Tory goes to grab her things. Kaya and Piper walk to the juice bar together. Kenny walks over to Shawn.

"This is so cool!" Kenny exclaims. "Finally, we're going to Valley Fest together again."

"I've missed doing shit like this," Shawn smiles. "Can't wait."

Devon walks over to Tory, "You didn't seem too excited to be featured at Valley Fest. Everything okay?"

Tory tries to keep her guard up, "Yeah, I'm fine. I try not to show my emotions. I guess that's what they think makes a good fighter."

Devon looks at her skeptically, "Is that what you think?"

"Here's your smoothie, babe," Piper walks over with a drink in hand. Kaya waves goodbye to Piper before walking out.

"Piper, are you excited for Valley Fest?" Devon tries to make conversation.

Piper glances at Tory. Then, she looks at Devon, "Sure, I guess."

Devon senses that she's missing something. Tory tries to cover it up.

"Valley Fest is gonna be epic," Tory assures her. "We have..."

"My dad needs me home, and I'm Tory's ride, so..." Piper jumps in with an excuse.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Devon moves aside almost apologetically.

"See you later," Piper turns back to Devon with a small smile as Tory leads her out.

Once in their car and off the Cobra Kai property, Tory speaks up.

"I hate it there," the blonde frowns. "I hate that I decided to work for Kreese. I hate that I can't get out of there."

"It's okay. We're handling it together," Piper frowns.

"Are we, Piper?" Tory turns to her girlfriend. "Because it just feels like I'm playing the good soldier for no real endgame. I'm not handling anything because nothing is going my way. I'm betraying every moral, and now I'm expected to represent Cobra Kai in front of the whole Valley?"

"You can do it in your own way. You've done it before."

"Before, I had Zion who had the courage to even try something like a protest and the support of other girls like you and Devon and Kaya. I don't have that anymore or a sensei like Kreese to back me up to Silver and Sensei Evil-Eye."

"Let's go back to my place," Piper suggests. "We can either talk it out and brainstorm ideas out of this or ignore reality and turn on Jennifer's Body."

Tory pouts, "You'd watch it again with me? Because we just saw it three days ago."

Piper stops at a stop sign and turns to her, "I'd do anything to make you happy. I love you."

Tory tries to smile in response, "I love you, too."

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

The next morning, I park at Miyagi-Do.

Miguel looks over at me from the passenger's seat, "Next time, I drive."

"Not my car," I tell him.

"Yes, your car," Miguel sticks his tongue out at me and gets out of the car.

I get out of the car, too, and see Miguel rushing over to Sam.

Johnny walks past me with a smile. I look around and see Robby getting out of the Eagle Fang van.

I get up the courage to walk over there. Robby closes the door and turns around. He stares at me in surprise. 

"Hey, what-"

I pull him close. My hands around his neck. His hands gripping my waist. My fingers in his hair. His heart pounding.  My lips on his. His soft smile into the kiss. 

When we pull away, we both smile at each other. Nothing else matters.

"I want you," I whisper. Our faces are so close. There's no space between us.

"You already have me." He kisses me again.

I dive into a world of color. I'm suddenly wrapped in bedsheets with him beside me. It's a high I never want to fall from.

"I'll see you later," he suddenly gets up and walks out.

I lay in bed on my own. I look down and see I'm floating on clouds.

Even without him here. And that's okay.

I collapse back into the sheets with smile I can't contain.

⭒⭒⭒

I finally emerge from my room to go to the bathroom around one pm. I haven't had that good of a night's sleep in forever.

My sleep schedule is messed up now because I didn't have karate or any other obligations today so I just slept. And slept.

There weren't any nightmares that I can remember. 

I remember dreaming about Robby, though. I feel like a little girl with a crush. I feel like I'm twelve all over again, forbidden to date. I've forgotten how equally wonderful and horrible this feeling is.

I lay back down when I get back to my room. I look at my phone to see a few notifications.

Brain sent me a TikTok demonstrating different karate moves.

Brain to Zion: do you know how to do an axe kick

Zion to Brian: Yes

I wait for his response, throughly confused about his random text.

As I look through my DMs, I realize that Jess has spammed me with TikToks that remind them of me. I can only imagine now many Moon gets, too. This is kind of Jess' thing.

Brian to Zion: do you know how to do a sweep ? what is that even ?

Zion to Brian: Yes

Zion to Brian: Why are you asking me?

Brian to Zion: This guy I'm talking to is really into martial arts. I'm talking about you to impress him

Zion to Brian: Of course you are

Brian to Zion: What did you win at that competition thing

I smile down at my phone. I love Brian, but I'm still not awake enough for this.

When I open Instagram, though, I see a new message request.

wotvalleycaofficial to zion.ambrose: Hello, my name is Elin, and I'm the coordinator for Women of the Valley events. Each year we do a panel at Valley Fest celebrating the achievements of women in the community. This year, we found you after your protest for a co-ed karate tournament. Congrats! Now, we want to celebrate you and other women live and onstage at Valley Fest this Saturday. I hope to hear from you soon.

I read over the message again. I try not to get my hopes up about something this cool actually happening.

So, I click on the profile to see a business account with over 3,000 followers and over 1,800 posts. I click the link on the bio out of curiosity and am taken to a website with contact information, merch, donations, and more. 

I decide to click on the "About" section and get lost researching everything.

⭒⭒⭒

Tory's POV

"The Women of the Valley? Let me see," Piper looks at my phone excitedly. "'Hello, my name is Elin. I'm the Women of the Valley events coordinator. Each year we do a panel at Valley Fest celebrating the achievements of women in the community. This year, we would like to honor you live and onstage at Valley Fest this Saturday to celebrate your victory in the All Valley Under-18 Co-Ed Karate Tournament you organized. I hope you will join us.' What is this? Is it spam?"

"I don't know," I shrug as I hold my pink and orange bear close to my chest. "It could be nothing."

"This already sounds more fun than the Cobra Kai presentation," Piper smiles.

"Yeah," I sigh, "but I don't know. I don't think I deserve to be celebrated as the reigning champ anymore."

"Tor," Piper grabs my hands, "you are the champ. You probably would have beaten Zion anyway. The ref and Silver can't take away your awesomeness."

"But, what if I didn't really?" I ask. I sit down on the bed, "What if I'm just a fraud?" The bad thoughts creep in again. What if I'm a coward? 

"You fought your way to the top with the protest and the tournament. You deserve a chance at something good," Piper sits next to me. 

"I don't think I'm the champ, Piper. I don't... I don't think I should go."

"At all?" Piper frowns.

"Things are getting worse for everyone because of me. Z and Mr. LaRusso got hurt. Kenny and Devon have bad influences because of me, not to mention those in lower level classes who're Brandon's age and younger. Ever since Robby came into the dojo, I can't help thinking that he's right. But, Silver won't allow any of them to give him a time of day to realize that he's right."

"That's a lot of pressure," she states, "but that's not a reason to give up. I don't want to see you give up."

"This isn't something I'm going to win, so why try?" I stand up. "Come on. We have to get ready for practice."

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

"I think it looks legit," Jai scrolls through their posts.

Apparently, Jai, Eva, and Liv got a similar message to mine because we all created the protest together. It's a relief to not be alone again.

"This is so exciting," Liv smiles.

"So, we're going to say yes, right?" Eva questions.

"I don't know," I hesitate.

"What do you not know?" Eva asks.

"Um... I don't know about Valley Fest because it's on my birthday."

"Your birthday is this weekend?!" Liv shrieks.

"Please, don't make it a big deal," I frown.

"I have tooo," Liv pouts as she scoots closer to Jai. 

We sit on Eva's couch once again. She's always so welcoming.

"What's wrong with Valley Fest?" Jai tries to understand. "No, hold on, I'm new here. What is Valley Fest?"

"It's a festival," Liv explains.

"Oh," Jai says sarcastically, "that clears everything up."

"It's a carnival in the Valley that's been around forever. There are rides and games and presentations. There are cool concerts, private parties, and lots of food," Eva explains.

"How is that different than Golf N' Stuff?" Jai wonders.

"It's a limited time thing, and there's more variety," Liv explains.

I look at the message on my phone. I don't know what to do.

"I think we should show up together," Eva says. She looks at me, "Unless you had other plans?"

"I don't," I slouch over in my seat. "I'm just worried that there's going to be drama or something."

"Well, I think if you do this panel, that's a given," Eva admits. My stomach drops at her honesty.

"But," Jai interjects, "it may be worth it to get the word out. Especially since talking about your success with karate could break barriers for other girls and trans kids in other sports."

"Prioritizing yourself is important, too," Liv reminds me. "Don't let us pressure you. You should decide what you want to do."

"You deserve to be recognized for this," Jai continues. "You stood up to the heads of that tournament. You organized a goddamn protest."

"Not alone," I argue.

"No, but you made it what it was," Eva assures me.

"Yeah," Jai agrees, "and I remember you saying that even the senseis at Cobra Kai didn't want you doing that protest and you did anyway. That takes guts." I smile slightly. "What I'm saying is don't forget that you're the shit."

I remember Silver's validation meaning everything to me. Now, I truly couldn't give a shit what him or any of my senseis think of this. I could make a difference. I made a difference in my own life.

My dad would want me to make something of myself. He would also want me to have fun. With friends like these three and Miguel, I know it'll turn out all right.

"Okay," I turn to Jai and hold out my hand, "give me my phone."

"YES!" Jai exclaims.

⭒⭒⭒

Miguel's POV

"Are you excited for Valley Fest, Miguel?" Moon asks me.

Sam, Yasmine, Moon, and I sit in Yasmine's screening room to watch some early 2000s movie. I feel very out of place, especially after everything with the whole Eli-Moon-Yasmine-Demetri-Zion thing.

I admit honestly, "I might not be going."

Sam frowns, "Why not?"

"Okay, she doesn't like it being publicized," I tell them because they're friends now, "but it's Zion's birthday this weekend. She doesn't know what she's doing, and I told her I'd be there for her regardless of what she chooses."

"Then she has to go to Valley Fest," Yasmine says like it's obvious.

"She doesn't want conflict," I explain. "I'm sure Cobra Kai will be there."

"Then we'll make sure there isn't any," Moon smiles.

"Maybe we could rent out one of those party rooms they have. It would be such a cute surprise," Sam brainstorms.

"That could be nice," I admit.

"No boys allowed," Yasmine says with a smug grin. My smile drops.

"Yas," Moon frowns as she gestures to me.

"Oh, I don't think of you as a boy," Yasmine shrugs. I stare at her in confusion.

"Yas!" Sam scolds her.

Yasmine looks at me and shrugs, "No offense." She smiles at Sam, "Okay. Fine. Limited boys. But, you guys need to pitch in for the party room."

"Okay," Sam and Moon nod.

I hesitate, "I'm kind of... kind of tight on money right now..." I remember how I spent all my money on that octopus necklace.

"Ooh!" Moon exclaims. "I have an idea of what you could get her, and it's practically free."

"Moon, she doesn't want a painted rock for her birthday," Yasmine rolls her eyes.

"That was just a phase," Moon frowns. Then, she looks at me, "Trust me. I know exactly what she wants. If you make sure she comes to Valley Fest, then her surprise will be there."

I nod, "Okay, but what is it?"

⭒⭒⭒

When I get home, Z sits on the couch watching Friends as she scrolls on her phone.

I take in a deep breath. I need to convince her. I don't know how. 

"Hey," I sit in the chair by the couch.

"Hi," she sets down her phone. "I wanted to tell you that I know what I want to do for my birthday."

I worry that it's anything but Valley Fest. "Um, sure, what?"

"I'm going to Valley Fest," she says with a small smile.

Relief washes over me. That was easy.

"Really?" I ask excitedly.

"Yeah," she nods. "I got a DM from an account called the Women of the Valley. They want me to be a part of their panel for Valley Fest because of the protest." She smiles brightly. I haven't seen her this excited in a while.

"That's awesome," I say in disbelief.

"Yeah, Jai, Liv, and Eva were invited, too, so there's safety in numbers, I guess," Z explains further.

"Good. I'm glad you decided to go," I tell her.

"I can't hide from Cobra Kai forever, right? I have to show them at some point that they don't control me," she decides. "But, I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me."

"That's great," I grin.

SIlence falls over us. I start to watch TV with her.

I have to do a double take, "You're watching the Monica and Chandler proposal episode?"

"Yeah," she scoots over to make room for me.

I sit with her and question, "But, didn't you swear off the episodes with romance?"

I catch Zion's blush as she shifts around to get comfortable, "Yeah. I don't care as much anymore."

I look at her skeptically. She's actually been in a good mood these past few days, all things considered. Regardless, I'm happy for her.

I smile to myself when I think about how fun Valley Fest is going to be with her birthday surprises.

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

Miguel and I half-watch watch Seinfeld, which came on after Friends. I throw popcorn at him to catch in his mouth; he's getting popcorn all over the room.

We hear a knock at the door. I look at the clock and see it's a little after nine-thirty.

"I'll get it," Miguel says protectively as he walks over to look through the peep hole.

He opens the door to Johnny. He looks at the popcorn scattered across the floor in confusion.

"Hey, sensei. Mom is in the shower," Miguel frowns.

"Actually, um, I wanted to talk to Z," Johnny looks past Miguel and over to me.

Miguel looks at me in surprise as I stand up. I walk to the door, "What about?"

Johnny hesitates, "Nothing bad. It might be better to ask you alone, though."

Miguel takes the hint, "I'll go to my room."

I invite Johnny in, and he sits at the dinner table. I sit across from him. He looks a little on edge.

"So...?" I look at him in confusion.

"So, uh, this is about karate," Johnny states. "Nothing bad, though. Me, LaRusso, and Chozen were talking about this week and what to expect. With the whole Sekai Tekai competition BS, we don't know what will happen. I think it's a good idea to have every aspect of karate covered that we can if we challenge Silver again."

"Sure," I nod, trying to understand his point.

"Okay, well, we were talking about tomorrow with Robby and Sam who know a lot of Miyagi-Do being student teachers and demonstrators." My breathing hitches when I realize where this is going. "I think the day after next you should teach instead of me."

I stare at him in disbelief. I don't think he said what he just said. I repeat what my ears heard him say. "...I should teach?"

"Yeah. You know more of Cobra Kai's philosophies than everyone there aside from me. I was there many years with Kreese, but you're the only one who got the full power of Silver and Kreese. I think there are some important things you could teach the rest of them - in a less extreme way - to level the playing field."

I don't know how to respond. He continues.

"Daniel, Chozen, and I are all on board. We think you're old enough to be trusted with something like this. We think this could be good for everyone, but we don't want to burden you." He sighs. "I know how hard it was for you to overcome all you have this past month. The last thing any of us want to do is make it harder on you. But, we - I - thought you might appreciate the chance to take charge of this fight, even if just for a day."

I stare at my hands in my lap under the table. I don't know how to respond.

Johnny takes my silence negatively, "I'll let you think on it." He stands up. "Just let me know."

"Okay," I smile weakly. I lock the door behind him.

I feel my heart pounding in my head. I look around for my bag with my sensory slug in it.

"Hey, what was that about?" Miguel comes out of his room. "Are you okay, Z?"

I take shallow breaths, "Yeah. Yeah. Give me a minute." I rush to my room and search for my bag.

When I find it, I grab my slug and sit with it. I focus on the colors, the movement, and anything but what Johnny just asked me.

What Johnny just asked me.

"Three. Six. Nine. Twelve. Fifteen." 

Eventually, my breathing steadies, and I just grip the slug tightly.

"Fuck," I curse. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

⭒⭒⭒

I stand at the edge of the clouds and look down. 

I see a reflection of a younger version of myself in the darker clouds below. I can see everything she goes through with her dad at such a vulnerable age. She looks up at me, "Help."

"Zion?" Robby calls from behind me.

"I'm sorry," I say as I jump into the cool breeze beckoning me.

I free fall forever. My eyes are closed. My heart is beating so, so loudly.

At some point in time, I land. My eyes open. I see a little girl playing soccer.

I look up, hoping to find a way to go back. There's no clear way to return.

The little girl turns around; it's me... as a child.  

⭒⭒⭒

The next morning, Miguel and I head to the main part of Miyagi-Do.

"Hey," Eli walks over from his car.

I try to act casual, too, "Hi." This is new but not unwelcomed.

"Hey," Miguel says as he tries not to look surprised. I think we all find it weird on some level.

As we walk into the backyard, Eli tells me, "I thought I should tell you that I tried with Demetri again."

"He doesn't care," I tell Eli, "and neither do I. There are bigger things to focus on."

"Trust me, I know," he admits, "but we won't be a team if we can't work together. I've thought about it, and at least Cobra Kai has one thing banding them together. Even last class wasn't enough team building."

"To be fair, I don't think Demetri and Z getting along changes a lot," Miguel points out.

"I think he may eventually come around. Just think about it, too," Eli shrugs, "okay?"

"Sure," I mutter. I don't know if we will ever get along, even if he somehow manages to apologize for everything and change the ways he views women.

I glance at the whole dojo staring at me and Eli as we walk in together. I guess this was unexpected.

I see Robby's gaze following Eli. Demetri glares at me until he notices me staring. Then, he turns away.

Miguel and I walk to the shade to set our stuff down. I glance back at Robby for just a moment before sitting down with my stuff and tying my shoelace.

I don't want Robby to get the wrong idea, but I don't want to betray the good thing I have going with Eli, but I can't exactly talk to Robby.

My dream was just that. I'm not ready for the reality of it all yet, and I owe this time to myself. I owe it to myself to figure out so many things, and if that's okay.

"Zion?" I look up and see Little Red, Bert, and Nate.

"Yeah?" I ask wearily. I stay on the ground but am suddenly very alert; they never talk to me.

"We're sorry for how we acted," Bert tells me. "We were just following around Demetri. We didn't know you were right or that he would lie like that." Nate still avoids eye contact with me.

To say that I'm surprised is an understatement. I didn't expect this to ever happen. I see Miguel smile in my peripheral vision before turning away.

"It's okay," I tell them. "I did a lot of bad things. I hope you know how sorry I am, too."

"We know," Bert nods. "I get it. I was a Cobra, too. I was unhinged."

Nate agrees, "I forgave Hawk for beating the shit out of me, so I can forgive you, too."

"I'm just glad you're not on the same team as my brother anymore. I have one up on him now," Little Red admits with a slight grin. 

I notice that he keeps a slight distance from me and doesn't smile fully, as if he's still a little scared of me. It's progress, though, and it makes a huge difference.

I hesitate at the thought of Big Red. He was the only one the night they all jumped me that tried to convince Shawn to stop. It didn't work, but I have some weird appreciation for him trying. As if that makes what he did any better.

The boys walk away, and I walk over to Miguel, Sam, and Aisha. Eli and Robby are both with them but aren't talking to each other.

My heart drops to my stomach when I look just past them to the boy sitting on the bench.

"Anthony, what happened?" I walk over to Anthony who has a black eye and fat lip.

He looks away shyly, "Cobra Kai happened."

I knew the answer. I knew what he would say. I asked anyway. 

"His friend lives near a convenient store, so they walked over there and ran into Kenny and a couple of others," Sam explains.

Robby catches my eye. I know he realizes how much this hurts me. I know he knows me. I look away.

"I'm so sorry," I tell Anthony.

Anthony shrugs, "It's my own fault for not being able to defend myself." I remember the talk we had in the mall bathroom that one day.

"Don't blame yourself. Most of us had Cobra Kai get the best of us," Eli reassures me.

"I guess," I frown. 

"It's not your fault," Anthony states.

I should have done a lot of things like keep Kenny away from karate. I didn't know it would turn into this, though. I know that I'm partly to blame, but this isn't about me. This is about the Cobras being taught everything to the extreme and being manipulated based on that.

"Dad said he shouldn't train today," Sam changes the focus off of me. 

Miguel nods, "All we can do is help you train more when you feel better." The boy nods in embarrassment. "Until we take down Cobra Kai for good, I mean."

"And we will," Robby agrees with Miguel.

I see someone sitting alone by the side of the building. I feel a little bit better when I see Demetri all alone. 

I glance behind me and realize that everyone else in the dojo has separated from and stopped talking to him after two days ago. I try to hold in my smile.

"I know," Aisha whispers with a giggle when she realizes that I've noticed, too.

"Okay! Who is ready for today's lesson?" Daniel walks out of the house with a big smile. "Fall in."

I take in a deep breath to absorb what just happened between the apologies and Anthony's injuries.

I walk to a spot in formation. Demetri and I stay apart from each other, of course. Robby gives me a small smile in passing as if to say "hi." I smile back.

"Let's start with some kata."

⭒⭒⭒

"Today, we teach you another pillar of Miyagi-Do karate," Daniel announces once we finish warmups. 

He seems relaxed and excited today. It makes me a little excited for the lesson.

"The wheel technique. And, here to help me demonstrate today are Robby and Sam." They step forward. "They mastered this technique last summer, and now, with our dojos combined and bigger than ever, you can all learn it."

Robby and Sam share a proud smile. I know it's only Sam. I know they're only friends. I know there's no deeper connection. But, something about it all ignites a little jealousy within me. I have no right to be jealous. 

"If we can all turn our attention to the koi pond, they will go out there and show it to you."

We walk over to watch as Sam and Robby climb into the pond and then up onto the circular deck in the middle.

"We used this in the mall fight last year. It's effective if you have total trust and synchronicity with your partner," Sam explains.

"It isn't easy when you start off, but you'll get there," Robby adds. 

They begin to do some moves that go up, out, block, out, block, and then they go so fast that they lose me. 

Sam and Robby work in tandem while doing these moves.

"Wow," Aisha whispers to me, "they look pretty close."

"They're just friends," I remind her curtly.

She grins cheekily, "Yeah. I know. You don't have to be so defensive."

"I'm not."

"Yeah, you are," Aisha tells me. "You're jealous."

"I'm not," I whisper back in surprise. I realize that Aisha only said that to get a rise out of me, and it worked.

"Great job!" Daniel applauds Sam and Robby as they get off the platform.

"Sam is with Miguel, and you could be with Robby," Aisha reminds me.

I shake my head, "No. I can't."

"Why not? Because of some rule you set for yourself?"

I frown, "Yes. I need to take time for myself." I turn away from her. I try to make those words true.

"Why don't you two go dry off while I begin teaching them the pattern?" Daniel pats Robby on the back before they go inside with towels and dry clothes in hand.

⭒⭒⭒

Fifteen minutes later, we each work on our form and the pattern to get it into our muscle memory before adding a partner. Robby and Sam have been walking around giving pointers, fixing form, and demonstrating again. I'm having the hardest time keeping it in a circular motion.

"Good!" Daniel stops us. "Now, find a partner to temporarily work with."

I look around for Miguel. I walk over to him, "Partners?"

"I'm already with Sam," Miguel hesitates before turning to his girlfriend. "Sorry. Maybe, uh, someone else?" He points behind me.

He points to where Aisha and Robby talking. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach when Aisha gestures to me so that he turns my way.

"You two should be partners," Aisha says not-so-subtly. "I'm already with Chris."

Robby smiles awkwardly.  A pit forms in my stomach at the reminder that I told him I don't want to be anything with him right now.

"We can if that's not too weird for you," I offer as I try to gauge how he feels.

"I'll manage," he nods and moves us away to our own spot. He didn't say no, which I guess is a good sign. He seems okay.

I try not to stare at him as he gets into formation with his muscles on display in his muscle shirt. 

"Are you ready?" Robby asks and snaps me out of my own head.

"Yes," I assure him as I get into the starting position with my fists down and out. 

"Okay... We need to make eye contact for this first part to get a feel for it," Robby reminds me.

"Right," I nod as I lift my head to make eye contact.

My heartrate increases in a blissful way. 

Hands to a triangle. Arms up and over. 

I try to stay in sync with Robby. It's surprisingly easy while we face each other.

Right punch. Block. Left punch. Block.

"Ready?" Robby checks in with me as we begin to turn from each other.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

Ninety degrees counterclockwise. Swing ninety degress clockwise. Kick left.

When we face away from each other, I lose any sense of synchronicity with him. 

"This is when we just have to feel it. Set a pace," Robby instructs. 

I try to focus on the moves: down, out, left prep, right fist down. It's much harder than I ever imagined to keep it professional with him. 

"Turn back," Robby instructs. I turn another one-hundred and eighty degrees and look at him again. "Starting position." 

"I think that was good," I lie. I lost him halfway through, and it hurt more than it should have. "I think I need some water," I decide as I walk over to my bag for a break.

I hear him following me. "You're doing a good job," he assures me. "It'll be easier once you're on the platform." He hesitates, "Well, it'll be easier to feel what your partner does. It'll be harder to execute the moves on the water. You'll be fine, though, I'm sure."

I smile at his support. I feel like my face is flushing. I know he's good at telling what I'm thinking, so I turn away before I can give him the chance to realize.

I sit in the shade by a tree with my water bottle. Robby sits beside me as we watch the rest of the dojo train. I don't usually get so nervous when I'm by someone I like. Maybe that's because Robby is different; these feelings go deeper than that.

"You know I'm not mad at you, right?" he asks.

"Um, mad for..."

"Taking some time for yourself," Robby finishes. "I don't want this to be weird. We were apart before and still kind of friends."

I don't want to be just friends with him. "I know you're not mad," I reply.

Our conversation comes to a halt of silence. I take a sip of water.

"I guess we should get back to work," I decide to ease the awkwardness. 

There's so much and so little to say. I can't say what I feel. I know he can feel me holding back.

"So, your birthday is this weekend," Robby brings it up as we move back to our spot to practice.

I try to hide my smile. Of course he remembered and cares enough to bring it up. "Yeah." 

We move into position for the beginning of the wheel. Fists down and out. Arms up. Hands in a triangle.

"Do you have any plans?" Robby wonders as he stops practicing.

I can tell that he's trying to make small talk and act like this is normal. I try, too.

"Yesterday, I got a message about a panel celebrating feminism within the Valley. They invited me to do something at Valley Fest with them because of the protest. I don't really know much about it, but yeah." I feel a small smile forming on my face.

Robby grins, "That's perfect for you. You worked really hard on that protest. You should get recognized for it."

"Yeah. It paid off." I feel like I'm blushing. "How about you?" It's so weird not knowing his life anymore and having to make small talk.

"I'm good. Just focusing on karate, though I'm also in some summer classes at West Valley College. They're just online, but at least I'm back in school," he shrugs. "And, you know, actually trying this time."

"I'm proud of you," I say without thinking. I kind of regret it. I wonder if that came off as fliratous or confusing to him given everything.

Robby nods, "Thanks."

I try to change the subject, "Are you going to Valley Fest?"

"I guess. I'm sure it'll be better than last year," he says light-heartedly.

"I think anything is better than last year for you," I frown when I remember.

"It's okay. I mean, I've long forgiven you and my dad," Robby assures me.

I frown. His dad. Wednesday. I look at Robby wearily, wondering if I should talk to him about it.

"What's wrong?" he reads me like a book.

I used to confide in him about everything. I fear this has shifted too because I was dumb a couple nights ago. I know it was a smart decision, though, and I can't put my feelings at risk again.

"Nothing. I'm glad you forgave your dad is all," I say instead. I can ask Sam for advice or something if I need to.

"Okay," Robby nods. I know he's trying to hide his skepticism. 

"Awesome. Let's fall in again and do some cool-down kata," Daniel smiles as he sits on the grass.

I sit down near Aisha and Robby somehow ends up on my other side. Aisha teases me with looks the whole time while Robby trains and is oblivious to her antics and my blushing. 

⭒⭒⭒

"Nice work today, everyone!" Daniel announces. "I will work with you on this again on next Monday."

Robby gets up, and I stop him to say something. "I'll see you Wednesday."

"See you," he nods with a small smile before walking over to his dad.

I feel like that was so stupid of me. 

It hurt a little, too. I know he's only matching the energy I gave him and it's my own fault. 

"Zion," Daniel walks over to me, "hey, you were picking that up pretty quick today, hm?"

"I guess so," I say.

"Okay, well, listen, Johnny said he asked you last night about Wednesday. I don't know if you have an answer yet, but he asked me to ask you?" Daniel smiles slightly.

I can tell he wants me to say yes. I still have no idea what to say.

"Hey, Dad, can we get In-N-Out on the way home?" Anthony interrupts us.

"Anthony, I'm in the middle of a conversation," he frowns at his son.

"Oh, sorry," he looks at me. Then, he turns back to his dad, "Well, since I already interrupted, can we get In-N-Out on the way home?"

Daniel sighs in frustration, "Yes, Anthony. We can. Now, go wait with your sister."

Anthony grins, "Nice!" He walks away.

He turns back to me, "I'm sorry about that. I try to teach him manners, and it never really stuck. But, after yesterday, I think I owe him at least a burger."

"That wasn't your fault," I say, surprised that Daniel even thinks that.

"I feel bad for not getting rid of Cobra Kai at the All Valley and backing down to Silver for so long. It's on me as the adult, even just a little bit, that kids like him get hurt," he reasons. "But, anyway, enough about that. I just thought I'd ask - no pressure - if you have an answer for us."

I look at Anthony. 

All I ever wanted to teach Kenny was how to defend himself against bullies. Aside from the teachings that Silver gave him, I did just that. I'm naive not to think about how Cobra Kai itself impacted his sense of morality. 

This isn't all my fault. 

So many people have tried to tell me that for so long: Robby, Dr. Hillard, Miguel. I never believed them, but something about here and now has clicked within me. Daniel is proof that this is not my fault, not when I fell victim to it, too.

I'm still scared that I'm not ready. I don't know if I'm fit to teach. I don't know if I can hold in the panic. I never really thought of myself as a leader until the protest, and even then I was too scared to speak alone. And, I don't want to screw up another person.

"I need a little more time," I hesitantly tell Daniel.

He nods with a smile, "That's fine. Take your time." Daniel turns back to his kids, "Who's ready for In-N-Out?"

Sam and Anthony smile as they stand up and walk out with him. They're one, big, happy family.

Loneliness hits me in the gut. I don't have my dad. All I have are memories of us, and those memories are tainted because of Silver and Kreese.

Silver called me "Star." Kreese called me "child." They acted like they cared. I was so naive and easy to manipulate.

I know in my heart what the right thing to do about tomorrow is, but I have no idea if I'm strong enough to do it.

I feel apalled by the idea of ever trying to teach anyone again after everything I went through with Kenny, yet I feel like there's something inside of me yearning to make a difference. Something in this past month has shifted within me. Something within the past six months has shifted.

I saw through Kreese and Silver's lies. I battled them alone, and I lost. I've struggled with addiction and withdrawl. I refound and lost the love of my life. I found myself. I found a new way of practicing karate. I'm ready to fight Cobra Kai again, but this time it won't be alone. I want all of us to be ready.

"You ready?" Miguel appears in front of me.

No. "Yeah." I try to push everything I feel aside. "Let's go."

⭒⭒⭒

Tory's POV

"Sensei Silver?" I walk into his office after class. There's nobody here but us. I feel a pit in my stomach. My only reassurance is that Piper is waiting downstairs.

"Nichols," he wears a sly smile, "what can I do for you?"

I decided not to talk to Kreese about this. I can handle it. With Piper's help. I figure I just need to be honest... ish.

"I'm excited for Valley Fest on Saturday," I begin, "and the chance to represent Cobra Kai."

Silver looks at me as if he wants me to say more. He knows I have more to say.

"The thing is... there's another panel at Valley Fest I was asked to be a part of. I already said yes, but I wanted to tell you about it instead of surprising you." Like Kreese said: play the good soldier. "It's for the Women of the Valley. It celebrates the protest from April and my... our win at the All Valley. I think it's another good way to publicize the dojo." 

He stares at me. The silence is almost physically painful. I don't trust him. I don't trust what I'm saying. All I can do is hope that he trusts me and believes it.

"I'm all for equality. What kind of man would I be if I had such a powerful position only to not accept and appreciate all?" Silver stands up almost proudly. "Contrary to what you may have believed about the protest, Kreese was always the one against it." 

I hold my tongue. I know he's lying because Z told me the opposite. 

"You're very smart because that is very good publicity for us. Of course, I'll have my PR coordinator write up a list of topics you can speak on," he looks anywhere but at me as he thinks, "just in case."

"Of course," I repeat to appease him. 

"Not bad at all, Nichols. I'll get more information on this to you later. You're dismissed."

I walk out of his office and down the stairs with a sinking feeling. All he seems to do is lie and manipulate. 

"How'd it go?" Piper asks wearily.

I catch the security camera in my peripheral vision. I grab her hand and fake a smile, "Good." I pull her to the car.

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

"Here!" I pass the ball to Ella.

She dribbles through her backyard to the other goal. She pauses then goes in for one, big kick. 

"GOAL!" she shrieks in excitement as she rushes back over to me and wraps me in a hug. "You're the best babysitter ever!"

"You did it," I smile happily.

"I did it?" Kenny's voice asks behind me.

Ella disappears from my grasp as the backyard shifts slightly.

Robby holds my hand, "You did it."

I watch Kenny punch a dummy over and over again. He looks so focused and hostile.

"Wait," I step forward and out of Robby's grasp to stop him.

"What?" Kenny stops. All his anger is gone. He looks like the kid I first met: sweet, dorky, short, kind of skiddish. "Did I do something wrong?"

"The enemy here isn't your bully," I admit. "Everyone has something going on inside. What I first taught you was wrong. Cobra Kai isn't all bad, but be careful with Silver and Kreese. Hatred can consume you."

"We're here to help you. It's the least we can do," Robby steps beside me. I smile at his support.

"I can teach you a better way," I offer.

"You can?" The world shifts to Miyagi-Do. Anthony stands in front of me with a black eye. "Because I'm sick of being a joke. I want to show everyone that I am someone they shouldn't mess with and that I'm sorry for hurting anyone."

"All we can do is help you train more," Miguel assures him.

"You'd train me?" Anthony asks me directly.

⭒⭒⭒

Third Person POV

Johnny's phone goes off in the middle of the night. He groans as he reaches for it. When his eyes focus enough to read the screen, he smiles.

Zion to Johnny: I'll do it

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: I try to update when I can. I've been in a weird place mentally and thought everything I was writing was bullshit. Sooo anyway glad I could finally put out something. Thanks for reading.

Also, I'm still in the process of revising season 4 and even 5 now, so some future chapters may not line up with the latter half of season 4 quite yet so shhhh just pretend. I'll fix it all soonish.