5.7.4
"I'm not gonna write you a love song 'cause you asked for it, 'cause you need one."
~Love Song by Sara Bareilles~
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A/N: Finally:) Missed you guys.
Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, gun violence, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, weapons, and other mature themes
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Zion's POV
I lean back, just barely not falling over the cliff. I reach out for someone, anyone.
A figure appears. I reach up desperately.
Silver.
He kicks me. I fall.
Darkness.
I grab onto a ledge. I hold on, terrified of falling.
The world becomes dark. I feel like I'm blind.
I keep the ledge in my grip.
I taste blood.
I smell blood.
"Zion!"
I look up. Kenny screams from the edge down to me.
Silver grabs him from behind.
"Kenny! No!" I yell as I try to claw for something else to grab onto.
There's nothing else to grab onto.
Kenny disappears.
"Kenny?" I call out as I reach up.
"You're too late."
Kreese steps on my hand from above.
Out of instinct, I let go.
I fall.
I fall forever.
I try to scream. My back hits the ground. I'm surrounded by silence and darkness. Until-
a gunshot.
I brace for pain.
Nothing.
A cold, white light hits my face.
I turn on my side.
Kenny. Dead.
"You didn't do enough to protect them."
⭒⭒⭒
I open my eyes. Tears stream down my face as I try to find a sense of balance and sit up.
I reach for the sensory slug on the table next to me; I hold it close as I play with it over and over and over again.
"It was just a dream," I whisper to myself as I channel all my nervous energy into the slug.
This room is so new. It doesn't feel like home. It's not decorated, and it's not mine. I want my old room in Santa Maria. I want the room my dad would read me bedtime stories in. I want my old self back.
I have a family here now, I know, but I can't help feeling that I'm too grown for this. I went from being on my own to being almost eighteen and living dependently all over again.
I'm trying to be okay on my own. I just feel lost. I wish I could separate from my thoughts.
No. No, no, no. I can't think like that. Not ever again.
I stand up and walk out to the kitchen. I tiptoe so I don't wake anybody.
I grab a glass from the cabinet then turn to the sink.
I think about Carmen. I love her. I love being here. I just hate how my thoughts try to turn everything that should be good against me.
My eyes land on a bottle of tequila.
"Everything John knew, he told me."
Yaya must have left it out from her book club or something.
"I can't do this. You knew what it meant," Robby tells me.
I clench my jaw as I set down the cup and grab the bottle.
I open the liquor cabinet and set it back inside. No more drinking for me or Carmen. That's the deal.
I fill my glass with water. I take a couple sips. Every half-asleep move feels robotic.
"You think you're as strong as you are now because of pity?"
I check the time: five am. Miguel and I train in less than two hours.
I debate messaging someone to help me keep a level head. I know I'm too tired for this after the long day of training and driving all the way to Santa Maria and back.
I knock on his door lightly and whisper, "Miguel?"
No response. I don't want to walk in on him, but I want someone because I know that I can't do all of this on my own.
"Miguel?" I knock a little louder this time. He's not a heavy sleeper, so-
The door opens to a tired Miguel, "Hm?"
I stand in front of him and suddenly feel so out of place. This is weird. And, I'm older than him, so he should rely on me, right?
"Sorry," I whisper. "I, um, had a nightmare, but I'm okay. Go back to sleep."
I turn away as Miguel grabs my arm, "Hold on. Do you want to talk about it?"
I look over at Miguel with a nod. He opens the door more to let me in.
He yawns as we sit on his bed. "What happened?"
"You're the only one who gets it," I admit. I push Robby aside in my mind.
"Gets what?" Miguel asks as he rubs his eyes.
"What happened in Mexico." He tenses. "Sorry."
"You mean, the stuff with my dad?" Miguel questions.
"Yeah," I nod. "My brain keeps mixing the violence there with what's happening here. With Silver. And Kenny." I bite my lip to hold in tears.
"How so?"
I take in a deep breath. "In my dream... I know it's fake, but, um..." Miguel looks at me in concern. "Silver shot Kenny. And I was right there. And I didn't help."
Miguel's posture deflates, "Oh, Z, I'm so-"
"I know. It's scary and awful, and I don't know why my mind makes up this kind of shit," I whisper angrily. "It's just hard to wake up every day from these nightmares, knowing that at least part of it is reality. And that, no matter what I do, Silver won't stop, and Kenny won't listen to me."
"It's not all on you," Miguel shakes his head.
"It is, though. I'm the one that encouraged him to join. I'm the one that trained him. I'm the one that left for two weeks without an explanation, so now he hates me," I frown.
"You tried to get him back," he reminds me.
"I failed. And, then, Shawn threatened me. I can't reach out again," I say as a tear falls.
"Okay, well, we are working at the dojo to take Silver down. We have the best chance we've ever had," Miguel states. "And, that's because we have you."
"It was nice to say in front of everyone, but there's no way that's true. Nobody in that dojo, realistically, respects me enough to learn from me," I shake my head.
"They should."
"But, they don't."
Miguel sighs, "Regardless, we still have a good chance at beating Silver at his own game. Johnny actually told me that he and Sensei LaRusso are going to figure out what Silver's plan is."
"How?" I ask.
"I don't know."
"I don't want anybody else getting hurt again. That's what happened the last time Daniel went looking for answers," I remind Miguel.
"He's not alone anymore," Miguel takes my hand, "and neither are you."
I give him a side eye, "You're so corny."
"I'm right," he tells me.
"Maybe."
"I am." He glances at his digital clock. "Is it really five-fifteen am?" He looks back at me with a frown.
"...Sorry?"
"It's fine. I... I haven't been sleeping that great, either." The look he gives me tells me that he's thinking about Mexico a lot, too. Probably much more than I am.
"How did we get here?" I ask.
Miguel shifts away from me with a groan, "No, we are not getting deep tonight. I don't think I can take that. You go get your beauty sleep." He pushes me off his bed gently.
"Hey!" I exclaim.
"You need lots of it," he ushers me to the door.
"Jerk," I whisper with a smile in fear of waking up Yaya or Carmen.
Miguel whispers to me seriously, "Are you feeling better?"
I think about it for a minute. "Yeah. I am."
"Good. Night," he closes the door on me.
I flip off his door before making my way back to bed. I put on some soft, instrumental music and fall back asleep.
⭒⭒⭒
"Thanks again for coming early with me," I tell Miguel as we walk into the Miyagi-Do dojo. "Especially after last night."
"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome," he yawns.
I want to train without anybody knowing this time.
I take off my coverup and get back into the pond to get right to work. I analyze the pattern of the fish again. There has to be some trick to it.
"Do you mind if I lay on the grass and sleep again?" Miguel questions.
I smile apologetically, "No, go ahead."
He lays back as I push my weight onto one side of the deck in the middle of the pond.
This time, I notice the fish swimming away from it as quickly as possible.
I frown. If I can get them isolated to the perimeter like this, I'll be in the center and unable to grab them on my own.
I walk around the deck in a circle to play with the weight distribution and see if that's the secret solution.
The fish still stay far away. I hesitate for a moment; what if I can reverse this?
I move to the outside of the pond and walk in a circle now. The fish rush away from my new spot to under the deck.
I speed up my circle to create waves that scare the fish a bit more; I make sure nothing I do will hurt them, though.
My eyes land on the big one only partially tucked under the deck. I do one more round before rushing over and grabbing it.
"Miguel! I did it!" I hold it close to my chest with a big smile.
Miguel shoots up to sit and look at me, "What? Huh?"
"I caught it," I say proudly. "I circled the fish to get an advantage point."
"Great job, Z," Miguel rubs his eyes.
I set the fish back in the water gently. "It's something so simple that I knew but forgot." It feels so good to finally accomplish something correctly.
"We should've known. Sensei LaRusso is big on practicing the fundamentals," Miguel nods.
I stop for a moment. "I think I know his trick."
"What trick?" Miguel asks in confusion.
"The trick for beating him," I explain.
"Wait, really? What is it?" he asks eagerly.
"If I told you, would you learn anything?" I glance over at him with a playful smile.
"Oh, come on! Tell meeee," he pleads like a little kid.
I shrug, "Okaaay. Daniel defeats each of us because he knows our style. We have to switch it up and use his own teachings against him, no matter how simple they may seem. It's the last thing he'll expect."
Miguel nods, "That's really smart."
"I know," I pat his back before walking inside to change.
"So, are you going to use that today?" he calls after me with a smile.
I stop walking. Everything I told him last night is true. "I don't know. I keep doing things that I think are right, but they're never appreciated. I beat the pitching machine, but everyone looked mad that I even tried. I thought I won the challenge yesterday, but then Chozen... well, you know."
"Do it anyway. Show them how awesome you are," Miguel encourages me.
"I'm not in the mood to fight them today," I say. I'm already exhausted - mentally and physically. "You should do it."
"Z, it was your idea," Miguel argues.
"If it works for you, great. If it doesn't work for you, nobody will care. If it works for me, I'll have an even bigger target on my back. The goal here is to beat Cobra Kai. They learn by example. They'll never listen to anything I have to say."
"Wait, is downplaying your talent the best way to go about this?" Miguel questions.
I shrug, "Maybe not. But, with small things still triggering me, the last thing I need is them bothering me more."
"You can tell Sensei LaRusso. He might do something about it-"
"I can fight my own battles," I assure him.
"I know that," Miguel sighs. "I just wish you wouldn't let them get to you."
"I wish they wouldn't say that bullshit in the first place," I nod as I turn to go inside.
"Me, too!" Miguel yells after me as if it's obvious. I smile a little to myself; at least he gets it.
⭒⭒⭒
"So, who wants to try first today?" Daniel looks out at the rest of us.
I glance at Miguel, who stands right next to me. He gives me a look in response.
I give him a look that urges him to go ahead and do it. He shakes his head and gestures with his hands.
I look at the platform and then back at him with wide eyes to signal to him.
"Zion wants to," Miguel announces.
Everyone turns to me in surprise, and my eyes widen. I look at Miguel who smiles encouragingly.
"Come on," Daniel smiles and claps.
The only ones attempting to clap are Miguel, Sam, Aisha, Robby, and Eli. The rest glare at me with daggers.
"Ready?" Sam looks between me and Daniel.
We bow to her and then to each other. I try to recall everything I've ever been taught in Miyagi-Do.
Jab punch. Get him off-balance. He blocks it easily.
I step back and circle him like I had earlier with the koi. Sam steps back from me wih a watchful eye. Her father circles in response, clearly unsure of what I'm going to do. We circle each other for a moment until he realizes that I won't strike again.
For a second, I think he's onto my plan. So, when he moves in, I counter with a Miyagi-Do block and then with a combination of punches.
Sensei LaRusso falls into my trap and counters them with a kick. I wax off and kick his torso. He looks over at me in surprise.
So, I circle around to kick his back faster than he can think. He falls forward, and that's when I kick him again and he hits the ground.
I can feel the shock everyone is feeling.
My foot lands on his chest. One. Two. Three.
"Winner, Ambrose!" Sam says happily.
I look out at the group with an uncontrollable smile.
Everyone is surprised, except Miguel... and Robby.
Only a few actually clap. I frown.
I help Daniel up, and he pats me on the back. "See? That's what I'm talking about!"
He gives me a smile that I can't help returning. I beat the challenge nobody else could.
But, when my eyes meet Demetri's skeptical ones, I remember how they'll never applaud me simply because it's me.
"Defy the expected," Daniel continues his lesson. "I expected Zion to come at me with offense, but instead she used defense to best me. This is something Cobra Kai won't anticipate. Use this from now on. Nice work, Zion."
He pats me on the back before I rejoin the group.
"Okay, now, we practice more fundamentals. I'll go grab the sanders," Daniel announces before walking into the building.
I rejoin my friends. Miguel gives me a side hug, "I told you!"
"And, I told you. Nobody is going to celebrate this," I mutter as I shrug him off. I'm really hot and sweaty already.
"That was really cool. I was starting to think nobody could take him down," Sam approaches me.
"Yeah, she was great," Miguel agrees.
I smile thankfully as I look around for my water. Miguel notices this.
"What are you looking for?"
"My water," I mutter.
"It's in your car," he tells me.
I sigh, "Thanks. I'll be right back."
I walk around the building to get my water, my eyes briefly meeting Demetri's judgmental ones.
⭒⭒⭒
Miguel's POV
Z rushes off to get her water bottle. I turn in surprise when I hear some of the guys laughing.
"I wonder how she convinced him," Bert whispers to them with a smile.
"Who?" Aisha asks when she picks up on their conversation, too.
"Zion," Mitch says with no shame. "We're talking about how that whole thing was a setup."
"What?" Sam and I ask in disbelief.
"Think of it as propaganda. Mr. LaRusso wants us to trust Zion, so he fakes losing to prove a point," Demetri says wholeheartedly.
"What?" Aisha asks this time. I stare at Demetri at a loss for words.
"Demetri is right. She doesn't belong here," Nate agrees.
A hopeless feeling washes over me when I realize this is exactly what Z was talking about. And they wait until the second she's gone to say anything.
"You make her think she doesn't belong," Sam defends. I look at her proudly.
"Because she doesn't. She's immoral. She's a cheater. You heard Sensei Toguchi. Some things never change," Demetri rolls his eyes. The other guys nod in agreement.
"Zion never cheated," Robby defends. I look at him in surprise for a moment.
"She pretended to," Chris argues.
"Because Eli wouldn't shut up about it," Robby continues as he gestures to the boy. Eli's eyes widen, but he stays silent. "You kept saying lies about her, and she got fed up. You would do the same."
"Oh, please. The world never stopped loving her," Mitch remarks.
"There is no way you actually think that," Robby tells them. "Everyone hated her. I was there with her through it all."
"Look where that got you," Demetri mutters. Robby actually looks irritated.
"Enough!" Sensei LaRusso comes back out from the inside dojo. "Whatever someone did before stepping into this dojo means nothing."
"What if she did it in the dojo?" Mitch interrupts.
"Zion wanted to join Miyagi-Fang, and we welcomed her in. You should be able to put your drama aside for a couple of hours everyday," Sensei LaRusso continues. "End of discussion. Grab a sander."
He watches us expectantly. Sam is the first to glare at Demetri and then go over to grab one. I step over to Robby.
"Hey," I whisper, "it was nice of you to speak up."
"I'm tired of hearing them talk about her like that," he shrugs.
"You still care about her," I grin.
He crosses his arms and closes himself off, "I thought you said you didn't want to get involved in this stuff?"
"I don't," I reply immediately.
Zion comes back from around the corner with her water bottle. She glances at everyone wearily before crossing to Aisha.
"I actually hate getting in the middle. Just thought it was nice," I finish before taking a step away from Robby before Z starts asking questions.
Robby gives me a perplexed look. I grab a sander and walk over to Sam. I hope Z didn't hear any of that.
⭒⭒⭒
Zion's POV
I protect my heart and pretend I didn't hear any of it when I come back to the yard. I knew that fighting Sensei LaRusso wouldn't end well. I just didn't expect to be accused of faking a win.
What hurts most is that more people are actually agreeing with Demetri.
If I were Eli asking for redemption - or any guy - I would get it a lot easier than whatever this is. And it hurts, honestly.
"Wow, it's almost gone," Aisha says when I walk over to her.
I look at her in confusion, "What?"
"Your water," she says as she reminds me why I left in the first place.
I look at the mostly empty bottle in my hand, "Oh, right. I got thirsty." I drank way too much of it because I have a dehydration headache.
"Did you by chance, um, hear anything?" Aisha asks me as she gauges my response.
I play dumb, "Like what?"
"Nothing," she says with a content smile. "We should probably get our sanders."
I follow her to the box filled with them. My eyes land on Robby.
Our eyes meet for a second before he looks away in embarrassment.
He must know I know that he stood up for me when they said all those things.
I turn back to Aisha and try to hide my small smile of hope.
I'm focusing on myself right now, sure, but there's a little hope that things between us aren't really over.
Because there's nothing like having someone who knows you and isn't afraid to speak up for you.
As soon as I grab my sander, I step away from the boys and over with Miguel and Sam.
Miguel comes over and whispers to me, "You heard, didn't you?"
I sigh, knowing that lying to him is useless, too. "Yeah."
"They'll realize someday," Miguel assures me.
"No," I argue with a whisper, "they won't."
"Okay, spread out over the deck and the walkways. Another thing Zion taught us today was to never forget your fundamentals," Daniel announces.
All of us move to a spot. I want to disappear when I see everyone's animosity towards me once more when my name is mentioned.
⭒⭒⭒
"Keep everything we've learned today fresh in your minds. You're dismissed," Daniel smiles as he releases us.
I turn away almost immediately. There are only so many judgmental stares you can take. I can't wait to get out of here.
"Hold on, Zion," Daniel calls after me.
I turn to him, trying to hide my frown. I just want to leave.
"This," he holds some white garmet in his hands, "is the last original Miyagi-Do gi. It's yours."
My eyes catch people staring. Even Daniel pulling me aside doesn't keep their watchful eyes away.
"What?" I ask timidly.
"You beat the challenge today. You proved that anyone, no matter who they were before, is capable of changing. You embodied Miyagi-Do today, and Mr. Miyagi would be proud." He holds the gi out to me.
I shake my head and whisper, "I don't deserve it."
"You've earned it," he assures me. "Don't let the others control how you see yourself."
I smile slightly as I accept the gi.
He places his hand on my shoulder supportively, "You deserve good things. Remember that."
Daniel walks away and leaves me smiling down at the gi. Until I remember everyone is looking at me.
I walk over to pack up my stuff as Sam comes up behind me, "Hey, um, do you want to join us at my house? We can go swimming since I know today was kind of hard..."
I ignore the comment about the drama today. "'Us?'"
"Me, Moon, and Yasmine," Sam explains.
I frown, "What about Aisha?"
"I invited her, too, but she wasn't interested in hanging out with Yasmine. And, she has family dinner. So, will you join us?"
"Sure," I smile slightly at the chance to do something other than sit alone in my room with just my thoughts.
"Great. Yasmine is coming to pick us up," Sam smiles, too. "They'll be here any minute."
My eyes catch a certain boy still talking with his friends.
"Cool," I tell her as an idea forms in my mind. "Let me go tell Miguel."
"Okay," Sam nods before walking into the building.
I walk over to Miguel as a horn honks from out front.
"Hey, I think I'm going to hang out with Sam, Yasmine, and Moon for a bit," I tell him.
"Oh, that sounds fun," he tells me. "You and Yasmine are okay?"
"More than," I nod knowingly.
"Okay," Miguel shrugs.
"You can drive my car back home, if you want," I say as I hold out the keys for him.
"Okay, thanks," he takes them.
The horn honks again. I smile mischeviously.
"Don't wreck it," I remind him.
"Oh, come on, I would never," Miguel defends.
"That's Yasmine and Moon," Sam comes up to us.
I nod, "Tell them to come back here."
Sam frowns, "Yasmine doesn't really want to see Demetri."
"Well, I think she should," I tell Sam.
Sam looks at Demetri and then back at me, "Ohhh."
"It's time he feel a bit of emotional pain, too," I tell her.
Miguel's eyes widen, "Okay, I'm gonna go before this escalates." He turns away.
The horn honks a third time.
"I've been talking to Demetri, and he seems really bummed about Yasmine."
I nod, "Which is why this is going to hurt."
"Are you deaf?!" a voice echos through the dojo as she comes around the back.
Moon follows behind her. Sam speaks up, "Sorry, we-"
"Also weren't checking your phone despite you telling me to be here at 2:30 on the dot?" Yasmine interrupts her.
I glance over at Demetri. All of them seem to have stopped talking to look at Yasmine.
"I was just inviting Zion to join us," Sam says with a small smile.
Moon asks excitedly, "You're coming, too?"
"Yeah," I nod.
"Fine. Get your stuff, and let's get out of here," Yasmine gives me a small smile.
I grab my bag. I look at Miguel who looks overwhelmed with everything.
"God, I didn't want to see him," Yasmine mutters as she tosses her hair over her shoulder and side-eyes Demetri.
"I feel weird seeing Eli, too. I feel awful for how things ended with us," Moon frowns.
"But, you're here anyway," I offer as I lower my voice, too.
Yasmine nods, "You're right. Let's make it worthwhile... You have everything?"
I nod as Sam says, "Yeah."
"Great. Let's go," Yasmine says louder this time.
Then, she grabs my hand and Moon's hand. I grab Sam's and we walk out.
I glance over my shoulder at a fuming Demetri.
Yasmine and I exchange a smile.
⭒⭒⭒
Third Person POV
Sensei Silver walks into his office to see a waiting Kenny Payne.
"Kenny, Kenny, Kenny," he frowns as he closes his laptop. He gestures to the other chairs, "Sit down."
Silver sits across from Kenny, who hunches his shoulders in dismay. Silver stares at him for a few seconds; the boy shifts uncomfortably.
"Your father, he's in the army, right?" Silver asks. Kenny nods. "I bet he's a strong leader. Someone you listen to." Kenny shrugs. "What happened after he was deployed? Who filled that role?"
Kenny answers, "Well, my brother was the head of the house until juvie-"
"Right. Right. And, after he went in, who did you follow? Robby Keene and Z. And, now you're back to following your brother. And, now Mr. Park."
Kenny questions, "Isn't that the point of the exercise?"
Silver smiles, "I spent a lot of my life listening to others. My father. My captain. My best friend."
"Sensei Kreese," Kenny states.
"Yes. But it was only after I listened to my own instincts that I reached my potential. I've seen the best fighters in the Valley: Keene, Moskowitz, Diaz."
Kenny nods, "Tory, Z, Sam LaRusso."
"Sure," Silver shrugs absentmindedly. "I believe you have more potential than any of them." Kenny straightens up. "If you're ready to be a leader."
"Okay, look, I hear you," Kenny nods, "okay? But the exercise, you said Kyler was the leader-"
"Did I?" Silver interrupts. "Or did you assume that?"
Kenny takes a moment. "So, what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to stop asking me or anyone else that question."
⭒⭒⭒
Zion's POV
I'm the only one physically in Sam's huge pool as Yasmine, Moon, and her sit on the edge with their feet in. Sam let me borrow a suit, and I'm so hot that I had to get in.
"That idiot did not say that," Yasmine states in disbelief.
"He did," I frown.
"I really thought he was better than that," she frowns. "He hated me because I was a bully. I don't get it."
"Something about Zion just sets him off," Sam shrugs in confusion.
"That's disrespectful to Sam's dad, too, because he wouldn't fake a winner just for that," Moon points out.
"God, I don't understand him. We were on the same page for so long, and now I feel like I don't even know him," Yasmine sighs in frustration.
I catch her glossy eyes as she looks up. I frown, "You really liked him, didn't you?"
Yasmine rolls her eyes, "Maybe a little."
"She did," Moon nods sympathetically.
"It was mainly the sex," Yasmine bluffs. "He was easy to dominate and surprisingly good at it."
I physically recoil in horror at her words, "Ew."
"Gross, Yas," Sam scolds her.
"What? It was physical," Yasmine tries to convince us.
"She really, really liked him," Moon frowns.
"My dad is a really bad womanizer. I actually never stay with him because of it," the blonde explains. "I've seen how people like my dad operate. I can't be dating my dad."
"Ew," I frown.
"Gross," Sam agrees with me.
"That came out wrong," Yasmine decides. "Whatever. I've been through this with Moon a thousand times. Until he fixes his attitude towards women, including you, I can't be with him."
"Especially the things he said about your parents," Moon frowns.
I look at her in confusion, "How do you know about that?"
"Sam told me," Moon glances at the LaRusso girl.
I turn to Sam. "Chris told me. He was there when, um..."
"When I punched him again," I nod in understanding.
"Yeah," Sam frowns.
"He deserved every part of that punch," I state.
"You know, he would bitch to me about you all the time," Yasmine continues. "I thought he had a point at first. I thought everyone in Cobra Kai was crazy. But then I talked to you."
"A lot of what I did in Cobra Kai I regret," I admit. "But I don't regret Demetri getting repercussions for what he said."
"I'm getting in," Sam decides and she jumps in with me. "Ah! Cold!"
"Me, too," Moon smiles excitedly and jumps in. She shivers in the water.
Yasmine looks down at us, "I'm still tanning."
"Oh," Moon turns to me, "Jess said you went to see them. Is everything okay?"
I nod, "It is now. Enough, at least. I'll be okay."
"You're living with Miguel now, right?" Yasmine questions.
"Yeah," I nod.
"What about the other girl you were living with?"
"Liv? How do you know about her?" I ask curiously. I'm not as defensive as I am surprised how much she knows.
"Moon told me."
"Sam told me."
"My parents told me."
"Don't be so surprised about everything," Yasmine tells me. "Word about you gets around quickly."
I sink deeper into the water as if I'm exposed, "Really?"
"It's not always a bad thing," Moon tries to assure me. "And, anyway, Sam mentioned Robby standing up for you today? What was that about?"
I look at Sam. She looks at her friend, "Moon, she's not supposed to know."
"Oh," Moon gasps.
"It's fine," I sigh. "I heard it. All of it."
"I guess you did," Sam puts two and two together.
"Anyway," Yasmine raises her voice, "Robby? Are you two getting back together?"
My heart pounds in my chest. "No, no. Um, I don't know why he said those things."
"Sam said you and him have been exhanging glances in class," Moon gossips like a middle schooler.
I look at Sam. Sam frowns, "I'm sorry, but sometimes I talk to Miguel about these things and I share them. I'm not exactly wrong."
"You are," I swim a couple feet away for some distance, as if they can smell how I'm lying. "There's nothing going on. We're broken up."
"You broke up with him, right?" Yasmine asks. I nod reluctantly. "Why?"
I shake my head, "I really don't want to talk about it. I'm focusing on myself right now. I want to... to know that I'm worthy of love. Self love. Not love defined by someone else. So that one day I can love someone else in a healthy way."
"That's beautiful," Moon says softly.
"What I'm hearing is hot girl summer as single bitches," Yasmine grins and jumps in with us.
I smile at their encouragement, "Yeah."
"And we are bitches in the best way," Yasmine assures me.
I smile as I look at my friends, but I frown a little when I realize that I really miss Tory right now.
⭒⭒⭒
Tory's POV
"I promise you can do it," Piper sits in the parking lot with me.
I'm outside of my apartment. I feel so anxious I could puke.
Piper told her parents about us a couple weeks ago. They were accepting and happy.
Now, it's my turn to tell my mom, and I'm worried she'll be anything but.
This isn't some stress she needs. I think she's okay with gay people, but how can I know for sure? I don't want to make her condition worse.
Piper is my support here. She's not pressuring me. I insisted I do this, actually, but now I'm beginning to regret my decision.
All I have is Piper. I've tried cutting out Devon. The rest of Cobra Kai is full of people I can't stand. Zion left, and our friend group chose her.
I'm so scared. I'd never admit it to anyone besides Piper, but I am. I'm terrified.
Somehow I'm inside my house now. I think I might pass out.
"Mom?" my voice cracks as I call out to her.
"Tory," she says happily at the sound of my voice, "how are you?"
I walk into her small room filled with her hospital bed and machines. I sit in the chair by her bed and take her hand. The cramped space increases my anxiety.
"I'm fine. How are you, Mom?"
"I'm okay, but I'd be better if you tell me what this is," she squeezes my hand.
I take in a deep breath. I try to look her in the eyes. My eyes burn as they threaten tears. I look up.
"There's something... something I've been meaning to tell you for a while," I say gently. Both of my hands hold hers.
"What is it?" she asks curiously.
"Um..."
"Tory, whatever it is, you can tell me."
Everything I've ever wanted to say disappears.
"I've, um, gone over this speech a million times," I admit, "but the second I have to say it for real, I forget."
My mom tries to sit up. I close my eyes tight. I just need to say it from the heart.
"Will you love me no matter what?"
I listen to myself. I sound like an idiot.
"What kind of question is that?" she wonders. "Always. I will always love you."
"Okay, okay," I say as my hands begin to shake and become sweaty. I let go of her hands and wipe them on my shorts. "Mom, um, I... I'm still me."
Her eyes soften as she reaches for my hand. I reach back, unable to deny her the gesture.
"You're gay," she squeezes my hand tightly, "aren't you?"
"...Huh?"
"Is that what you wanted to say?" my mom wonders. "Well, it's either that or you're pregnant, right?"
"It... It is..." I look at her in pure confusion. "How did you... How did..."
"How did I know? Well, there are a lot of reasons," she smiles, finding the humor in this.
I still feel like I may throw up. The good news is she's taking it well.
"When you were little, you had your girl Barbies kiss and get married. Not only that, you wear a lot of flannel-"
"You know a-about flannel?" I ask in surprise.
"Oh, I know. Plus, honey, you wore a suit to prom," she smiles in amusement.
"...Right," I realize.
"And, I know that girl you meet up with outside our window all the time. I figure she's either your girlfriend or a really, really close friend," Mom winks.
My brain tries to absorb all of it.
"Say something, sunshine," my mom looks at me with a slight look of concern.
"Um, yeah, well, I'm gay," I say dumbly. "Well, I'm a lesbian, and the girl you've seen is, um, Piper and she's my girlfriend... Is that okay?"
"Tory, it is more than okay," she reaches up for a hug.
I lean down and embrace her. It's such an honest hug. I feel so real. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
"You're fully you with me now," she holds me close, "and I can feel how tense you were about all of this. You can be happy and fully yourself. It shouldn't matter what I think, but I am here for you to support you in any way I can. I love you, sunshine."
My tears soak her shirt, "I love you, too, Mom."
⭒⭒⭒
Zion's POV
After falling asleep to 13 Going On 30, Mrs. LaRusso came down and suggested we go home if we didn't want to spend the night.
So, Yasmine offered to drive me home. I feel self-concious when she brings me to the apartments, but she really doesn't seem to care.
"Thanks," I tell her as I step out of the car.
Yasmine looks past me into the complex, "Ooh, have fun with that."
I turn around and see Robby walking out of Johnny's door with a trash bag in hand. My heart skips a beat.
"Bye, bitch," she closes my door and drives away.
Leaving me. With him.
I stare at him. He stares at me.
"Hey," he's the first to speak and actually acknowledge me.
"Hi," I say softly.
We stare at each other. It's quiet. I look down at my hands to find the key to the Diaz's apartment.
I glance at the door, ready to leave, as he speaks up, "I didn't realize you and Yasmine were so close."
I fidget with the keys in my hands, "Yeah. We, um, started hanging out because of-"
"Sam," we both say.
"Demetri got really upset when he saw you together," Robby explains.
I reply defensively, "Well, he shouldn't have said and done everything he has."
"I know," Robby nods in understanding. "He's wrong."
My gaze softens on him, "He is?" I remember Robby being friends with Demetri at one point and being mad at me for ever going after him.
"Yeah. I haven't wanted to talk to him ever since I found out what he said."
"...You haven't?"
Robby shakes his head. I stare at him, dumfounded.
"I'm on your side," he tells me genuinely.
I try to keep my walls up. I've built my walls back up since he walked out. I'm not ready to break them down for him. I shouldn't.
But it's him.
"Thanks," I mutter in response. I feel like so much between us has shifted and yet I still know and love him like it's six months ago.
Robby just nods in response. It's so quiet.
I can't quit playing with my keys in my hands. I don't want to stop talking to him; I just don't know what to say.
"...I hate being away from you, too, you know," I offer before thinking.
My heart seems to talk before my brain can decide if it's good or bad.
Robby's stance shifts, "Really?" I nod, unable to deny it now. "You have to know that I didn't mean to leave like I did." He lets go of the bag and steps closer; I fight the urge to step away. "I know that what I did was wrong - to leave you like that - but I never, ever wanted to hurt you. It wasn't easy, either. It was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I got into my head about what it meant and... I was selfish. I did it for myself."
"I know. It wasn't fair of me to put all of that on you. I was an idiot for drinking like that. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. It's not only your fault," I tell him.
"I'm just happy you're okay now," he admits.
We stand only a couple feet away from each other now. My eyes connect with his bright ones.
Robby smiles and closes the gap, "I don't want to miss you anymore."
Everything shifts. My stomach flips. My walls threaten to crumble.
Robby holds the butterfly keychain and practically holds my hand. I realize now that I never took it off; I couldn't.
"I love you, and I think I always will. I won't leave again, Zion. I'm on your side. Always."
My whole body threatens to melt. I take in everything he's saying.
I smile slightly, "I love you, too, Robby."
My eyes fixate on the keychain and not on his face.
"But, I have to work on myself right now."
His grip on the keychain softens. He doesn't remove his hand, but I can feel the disappointment.
Disappointment is an understatement.
I glance up to see his face. I hate doing this, but I can't regret it. This is something he has to understand now, too, and, if I want him to, I have to be completely honest.
"I've been going to therapy," I take in a shaky breath. "I know I'm a mess, but I want to be better. I want to never touch another drop. I want to never fall victim to someone like Kreese or Silver again. I want to be okay on my own and love myself before I get into a relationship again."
Robby's hand drops. I begin to tear up because all of this is so real for me and probably too much for him right now.
"I have a lot to work through, and none of that is your burden," I tell him. "I want to be strong enough on my own... so that one day I can lift up my partner. So we can lift up each other. And, so that if I get hurt again I can pick myself back up." I look at him directly, "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but... You deserve the truth."
I squeeze the butterfly in my hand as he hesitates and avoids eye contact. He looks devastated. He's trying to conceal how he feels. I know him too well. Just like I know he knows me too well.
I wait forever for his response. I almost convince myself he won't say anything.
Then, "I get it." My heart pounds so hard my head hurts. "I'm really proud of you. I've always said you're the strongest person I know."
My glossy eyes meet his, "You're not mad?"
"Why would I be? I'm just happy you realize how wonderful you are, too."
I stop breathing for a moment. He's perfect. Even when he's not mine anymore.
I turn awkwardly to the Diaz's door, "I guess I should go. Carmen is probably-"
"Yeah," he nods.
"And I don't-"
"Want to keep her waiting," he says awkwardly as he turns away, too.
I walk to the door, but I can't help turning back just for one longing look where I can't be caught.
Instead, my eyes meet his as he looks back at me, too.
I blush and struggle to open the door as quickly as possible as I push myself through the door.
Miguel perks up when I walk in, "Hey, you're back. How was-"
"No," I frown as I walk back to my room, unable to comprehend what just happened.
All I know is that my heart is aching.
I sit and replay it over and over in my head.
"I'm really proud of you. I've always said you're the strongest person I know."
"Why would I be? I'm just happy you realize how wonderful you are, too."
⭒⭒⭒
A/N: My Zobby heart </3
Also, the length and ending of this chapter is weird because I wanna update since I haven't in forever.
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