Chapter Eighty-Four: Chozen Family

"...if you can't trust your mother, I guess you're better on your own. But, I forgive her, I forgive her so I can sleep at night 'cause I remember, I remember to not self crucify."

~self crucify by Bea Miller~

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Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, and other mature themes

A/N: The last chapter of this season... someone hold me while I cry...

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Zion's POV

I exit the locker room and pass Daniel as he waits for his daughter. We look at each other a moment before I duck my head and continue walking. It's only a few steps before I see another figure beside the exit door with a cigarette in her mouth. She turns to me with a slight smile.

"Zion."

"Mom?" I stare at her like she's a ghost. She might as well be.

"It's so good to see you," she takes a step closer; I step back.

"Cut the bullshit," I tell her. I've built up walls. I've removed her from my life. She doesn't get to come back now. "No more games."

"This is your mom?" I turn to Daniel as he stands beside me and I see him staring at me in concern rather than angrily at my mom.

"This isn't your business," I tell him.

"Can we go somewhere private?" Janice wonders. 

I really don't want to, but something tells me she won't stop bothering me.

"I can't let you do that," Daniel objects. "You're my responsibility now. I don't want you getting hurt."

I stare at Daniel in surprise. He actually seems to care about me, even after everything. I cost them the tournament and he doesn't entirely despise me.

"Thank you, but this is something I need to do. I'll be back soon. Wait for Sam," I assure him.

He reluctantly lets me go as I let Janice walk in front of me. I refuse to turn my back on her.

We find another small room down the hall and I leave the door open a crack.

"Why the hell are you here?"

"I wanted to see you... and say I'm genuinely sorry," she begins.

"Save it. I don't need your apologies. The things you did shouldn't have happened in the first place," I tell her.

"I know."

"How'd you find me?"

"I got a call from Terrence Silver. He tracked me down and said he knew you'd be wanting me here today to cheer you on," she explains as a shock runs through my body.

That's why he was so smug.

"Then, I guess you're here to rip me away from everything?" I take in a shaky breath and try to control the intrusive thoughts. "You're going to ruin my life?" I expect no less from her or Silver.

"No, he told me what he wanted from me. I never said I'd do that because I don't want to ruin anything for you ever again. I'm not like that anymore. I've been working on bettering myself for me, for you, for us," she smiles softly.

"Yeah? Well, I went to look for you. It was the worst feeling not knowing where my mom was, not knowing if she was alive. I was worried about you and I knew I shouldn't have been. I was just trying to find you somewhere and you were gone. So, there is no 'us,' Janice, because we stopped being a family a long time ago," I say as my voice begins to waver.

"You didn't find me because I was in rehab."

I try to push the relief away from my heart because I don't think I can believe her.

"You're smoking," I look at the cigarette.

"It's candy," she says and holds it out for me. "Holding it makes me feel like I'm smoking again; it's therapeutic."

I put it in my hand and unwrap it to find an orange stick of gum wrapped inside. "Oh."

"I'm three months sober. I kept falling off the wagon and every day was hell, but I knew that my life wasn't going the way I wanted and I knew I was sick and I knew I needed help the second you told me that I'm not your mom anymore. I regret that day every time I wake up or think about you for even a second."

"That was your own doing," I remind her. I think for a moment about what I want to say next. "I'm proud of you for being sober, but that's all I can say. There's no do-overs."

"Zion, I'm still your mother."

"And I'm your daughter!" I scream. "It's always 'I'm your mother,' but you never considered how I feel. And a true mother never would have treated me the way you did. I-I mean, you kicked me out! Twice! You would hit me and call me nasty things a-and it... it was abuse."

"That's why I went to get help. I wanted to get better. It was the disease that influenced all my actions and if I could go back and redo everything, I would," she says as she looks like she's about to cry now.

"Always blaming something else," I laughed dryly. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I take full accountability. I don't want to hurt you; I never did. I was mourning Andrew and I was scared-"

"Your husband was my dad. You never even let me grieve him! You took all your anger out on me. You lost the title of 'mom' when you first hit me. I never truly had a mom the way she's supposed to be. I needed my mom and you were never there," I begin to cry, too.

"You're entirely right," she nods. "You've grown so much, Zion my Lion." I tense at her words. "You won't believe me, I know, but I have to tell you that I love you. I love my daughter so much." She puts emphasis on what she knows I want to be fixed, but it feels unnatural.

"You're right. I don't believe you. I want to, but I've grown too strong and come too far. A sappy speech after a year of disowning me isn't going to fix anything," I tell her as I regain my confidence.

"I know. I, well, I wanted to suggest we go to counseling together? They have sessions for parents and children to salvage relationships. A-And I don't need an answer today, but I hope you'll consider it."

I ponder her words as I look down at my feet and wipe a tear off my cheek.

"And, congratulations on being runner-up in the tournament. You've grown into a wonderful and strong young woman, even if I don't know anything about karate. I'm... I'm proud of you. I'm sorry I missed the first part of the tournament, though. I was scared to come at all."

"You've missed a lot more than just that," I say coldly.

My head tilts up to look at her as I take in a deep breath with my decision.

"I've thought about you this past year, too, you know. It was always in a negative way, though. I don't have anything happy to remember. Maybe in the future we could try to resolve that with a professional, but that's not a guarantee and that is certainly not now," I put up my boundaries.

"Okay," Janice responds.

"I'm not finished." She presses her lips together. "I ask that you leave me alone until I reach out again. I know you're my legal guardian, but I'm turning eighteen in less than a month and am more than capable of caring for myself."

"I can manage that," she agrees. "But, I really am so, so sorry."

I see the genuine sadness flicker in her eyes and I take a deep breath in as I apply karate to real life.

"I know you are... and I... forgive you."

Her eyes soften as I keep my distance from her and hold the door open wide. I usher her out. She walks by me and I do my best not to flinch.

There's nothing more to say as she walks out.

I stay in the room, lean against the wall, and cry. My body slowly slides to the floor as I breakdown right here.

A knock comes at the door, "Zion? Are you okay?"

Daniel walks through the door in concern as I try to hide in the dark. He finds me anyway.

"Please, leave me," I say when his feet stand in front of me.

"Did she hurt you?" he asks.

"No," I whisper.

Daniel lets out a sigh of relief and then I realize he's trying to settle next to me on the floor.

"What you did was very brave today. It was admirable," Daniel assures me.

"I lost," I argue.

"I know. All of us lost."

"Not all of us are crying on the floor of a dark room," I counter.

"I've been there, that's for sure," he says.

"Yeah, well, the only difference is that you had money to help pick you back up. And, family. You have lots of that," I remind him.

"I didn't when I was your age," Daniel argues. "It was the year I was supposed to go to college. My mom was out of town with my sick uncle and I was staying with Mr. Miyagi. The Mr. Miyagi."

"Okay," I whisper as I listen.

"He was my chosen family, but it was a rough time in my life. He wasn't going to help me defeat Mike Barnes, this sadist that Terry Silver had hired. But, uh, I didn't know their affiliation at the time, so I was training at Cobra Kai."

I stare at him in surprise and he sighs.

"It's not something I'm proud of, of course, but it happened. One night, I came back from the dojo with Silver and stole Mr. Miyagi's healing potion stuff. It really helped before and I didn't want to worry him with another injury, so I snuck into his room and heated up some water and activated it or whatever. That was when Mr. Miyagi knocked on my door and, boy, was he worried. I wasn't acting like myself," Daniel admits.

"So, he yelled at you?" I ask.

"No. I yelled at him. The poor guy looked so hurt because of me, but I had learned 'no mercy.' 'Extreme situations require extreme measures.' I thought that was part of growing up, but something didn't feel right inside. I didn't like hurting people, especially ones I cared about."

"So, what did you do?"

"I eventually came to my senses and apologized to Mr. Miyagi. But, that night? I turned out the light and was so scared that I cried. I didn't know what to think about myself. I mean, I was a poor kid from Jersey who moved to Reseda. I wasn't always Mr. LaRusso Auto. Hell, I spent all my freshman year college tuition on a bonsai store."

I smile slightly, "A bonsai store?" I like the way he tells stories.

"Another time, Zion," he smiles back. "Still, I was alone because Mr. Miyagi was my best friend. I didn't have anyone to rely on, but I got up and beat Silver and Barnes in that tournament. You don't have to get back up alone, though. I apologized to Mr. Miyagi and he came around."

"I get it," I nod. "I have you and the others to choose as friends and family."

"Precisely," Daniel says and stands up.

Then, he offers me his hand. I stand up next to him and feel the weight on my chest slowly lifting.

"What happened with your mom wasn't your fault. Some people are just so messed up that they feel the need to hurt others. It's an internal battle that then becomes external. We'll figure this karate thing out, even if I can't teach karate anymore." He smiles slightly, "I'm always here for unsolicited life advice."

I wrap my arms around Daniel and he hugs me back after a moment. I hold onto him because I feel so comfortable with him. He really is a personable, all around good guy.

I clear my throat as I pull away from him, "Sorry."

"No problem," he shrugs.

"You can go find Sam. I'm going to find Miguel and then go to Shannon's with Robby," I decide to stick with my plan.

"All right," Daniel approves. "Don't forget how good you have it with Miguel and Robby both in your corner."

"I'm definitely lucky," I nod awkwardly, "even if they hate each other."

"Maybe you can fix that," he suggests.

"Maybe," I say wishfully.

We walk out of the small room and he walks one way to find Sam.

"And, hey," he turns back to me once again, "you did your best today. I'm proud of you."

I smile brightly at his words. He's proud of me. I don't deserve it, but he thinks it anyway. Yay.

"Thank you for everything," I tell him sincerely, "Daniel."

"You're welcome."

I continue out to the parking lot. I don't feel nearly as horrible about myself as I had before.

My eyes scan the lot for my school friends. I don't see Eva, Liv, or Jai anywhere.

I get into my car and take the long way to Miguel's as I listen to music for therapy. Harry Styles comes on and I just vibe to the happy music as best I can.

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Tory's POV

I cheer with the team in the alleyway behind the arena with the trophy in hand. I'm so proud of myself.

This high would be greater if Zion and Robby were still on my side. I don't know what the hell happened out there. First, we're frenemies of some sort, then she treats me like a friend, then she hurts me, then she hugs Sam, and now we're enemies.

She cried when she lost. I was inclined to go talk to her, but I didn't know what to say. It's her fault for leaving and taking Robby with her. Piper says she's not worth the tears if she treats me like shit.

I'm the Queen Cobra now. Who knows what comes after this?

"Hey, victory party at my place!" Kyler exclaims. "Queen Cobra, you coming or what?"

"Yeah, I just gotta grab my bag from the locker room," I smile.

"All right. Cool. Hey, guys, let's go! Let's go!" Kyler leads the herd away.

"Meet you there?" Piper lingers.

"Duh," I assure her.

My girlfriend kisses me deeply. I try to grip her and pull her closer with the trophy in my hand. It makes the kiss awkward and we giggle.

"I'm so proud of you. You were incredibly sexy tonight, Queen Cobra," Piper blushes. "Don't make me wait for you too long."

"Don't worry. I'll only be a minute."

Piper wanders to her car and I open the door to go back inside.

I admire the reflective trophy. I've never won anything like this before. Piper has plenty of gymnastics trophies and Brandon has won soccer medals, but this is all for me. I earned this badass trophy after so much time and dedication put into this dojo.

"I almost thought you were gonna back out of our deal a few times."

A familiar voice murmurs in the dark of the closed arena.

"You know what?" My eyes land on Sensei Silver with the referee. "You played it just right. No one suspects a thing. The money will be in your account tomorrow morning."

I piece all together too easily. I feel my whole body deflate as I watch he and the referee smile.

"Thank you, Mister Silver."

I glance down at the trophy. I don't deserve this. I didn't earn this. There was something pushing me to the gold and it wasn't my talent, but instead a dirty bribe. I don't understand how this could happen. I tried so hard, but Sensei Silver didn't believe enough in me.

It's hard to tell what's real and what's not, especially with Zion and Robby gone. I never really thought about why...

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Third Person POV

"Everyone has a weakness, John. And mine is you."

Kreese leans in in disbelief. His eyebrows furrow, "You think that I'm your weakness? Well, you've got it backwards, because I am your strength. I have been your strength ever since Vietnam."

"Yes!" Silver exclaims almost excitedly. "There it is. I can always count on you playing the guilt card. How many times do you expect me to repay that debt until we're square?"

Before he can respond, a siren wails and police lights flash outside the Silver mansion.

"What did you do?" Kreese asks as his eyes widen in fear.

Silver looks at his old captain with a sly grin because everything is going according to his masterful plan.

"I'm shedding my weakness, Captain."

"John Kreese, you're under arrest for aggravated assault and attempted murder," a detective walks towards the duo. "You have the right to remain silent."

Officers encroach on a worried Kreese.

"John, what did you do?" Silver questions. He knows all too well.

"Hands behind your back," one police officer demands. Kreese resists. "Come on."

Kreese elbows another officer in the face. They only fight him more and the old man cannot keep up.

"John, take it easy. Don't worry about a thing. I'm sure I can dig up an old friend or two to help out with Cobra Kai while you deal with your legal problems," Silver puts on a show.

"You're gonna regret this," Kreese says as he's cuffed. "I am Cobra Kai."

"Put him in the car!" "Move!"

"Don't worry about Lawrence or Ambrose. I'll take good care of them, too," Silver digs at Kreese's soft spot. 

Kreese begins to fight more as more cops join and push him into the car.

Silver smiles in all his brilliance as he picks up his glass and drinks in pure celebration.

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Zion's POV

I park at Miguel's and see Johnny wander in just before me. I'm still in my gi as I get out of my car.

I stare at the Diaz's door a moment. I finally get my courage up and knock; Johnny lets me in. Carmen, Yaya, and Johnny all look like they've witnessed a crime.

"Zion," Carmen tries to smile as Johnny sets a paper on the counter behind him.

I notice all of them trying to act normal around me.

"What's going on?" I ask. "I'm looking for Miguel."

"He's not here," Carmen says softly.

"Oh, that's weird. I guess he's being really hard on himself after today. Do you know where he is?" I ask.

Johnny and Carmen exchange a glance as Yaya comes over and hugs me really tightly.

"Qué?" I ask in confusion.

Johnny hands me a note and Yaya pulls out a chair for me. I give her a smile before reading it standing.

"Sit," she demands in a thick Spanish accent and I have no choice but to obey.

I read the letter and wonder why Miguel would write a letter.

Mom,
I'm sorry for leaving a note like this, but I thought it was the best way - maybe the only way - to say what I have to say.
The last few months have been a rollercoaster: my injury, rehab, me and Sam, Sensei and Mr. LaRusso, Zion. I convinced myself that I could get over all that by focusing on the tournament. I thought that if I won that everything would work out. But I was wrong.
Tell Sensei that I'm sorry I bailed. His karate helped me grow, but I'm still not sure who I wanna be. And, to figure that out, I think I need to know where I came from. Sensei was scared to find out the truth about his past, and honestly, I am, too. But, overcoming that fear is the fight I have to face instead of competing for a trophy. I need to meet my father. This is something I have to do. Please, try not to worry.
I'll be safe and I'll be back soon. I love you, Mom. And Yaya, too.

I look up and see Carmen crying as Johnny holds her hand.

"I'm bringing him back home safely. I'm going after him to Mexico, okay? His dad doesn't know he was even born. I'll go because I'm the one who put this pressure on him and I'm the one who has to make this right," Johnny tells me.

"I'm going with you," I stand up.

"No," Carmen shakes her head, "you are not going, too. I can't leave because of work and you can't leave because we all need you here and safe."

"I'm sorry, Carmen, but there's no other choice. Miguel is like my brother. I won't let Johnny go after him alone," I demand. "Johnny, please."

He looks into my pleading eyes and gives in with a nod. A chill runs through my body.

Well, this is one way of running away like we'd promised. Now, I just need to get Robby to agree.

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A/N: I'm writing at least my own part of season five (even if just half?) in addition to the imagines book full of "what if"s as a compromise to the questions I've asked previously:)