Chapter Forty-Seven: Safe Space

"Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard and mostly what I need from you."

~Honesty by Billy Joel~

⭒⭒⭒

Revised: September 5, 2022

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, langubage, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, and other mature themes

A/N: This episode is two weeks later.

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

"Win at all costs," Sensei Kreese says as we stand in formation for class today. "Those we thought to be our allies have turned against us. Now our enemies are attacking us from all sides."

I never thought Miguel would be my enemy.

"There is no turning back. Now is the time to show them no mercy," my sensei says. "When there is a fight, finish it. For good. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sensei!" We all yell in unison.

Deep down, I hope it never comes to the point where I have to fight Miguel. The reason I'm staying away is so I don't hurt him or lose him again. It's best if we just don't interact.

But if it comes down to it, I'll have to make the decision: be a winner and hurt Miguel or let him back in and betray the ideals of Cobra Kai?

⭒⭒⭒

I'm lifting some weights in the dojo at six am when I hear my phone ring. I walk over, wondering who the hell is calling this early. I can only hope it isn't Janice.

It's an unknown number again. Shit. I pick it up, regardless, "Hello?"

"Zion, hey," the voice says.

"Robby? What's going on?" I ask. "Why are you calling me? Are you okay?" He hasn't responded to my emails in a while.

"Yeah, I'm good," he says and I relax a little. "I get released today."

"Oh, that's great," I say and find myself smiling. What he did was an accident that he got put in juvie for months for. Robby doesn't deserve that, especially since Miguel seems fine.

"Listen, I don't think anybody is going to come pick me up, so is there a way you can? I know you have school, but you can pick me up at eight before then when they dismiss me. I just need a lift over to the place where they'll give me a parole officer," he explains. This is a lot to take in.

"A parole officer?" I ask in shock.

"Yeah, it's a condition of being let out early. I know it's a lot to ask, but I really could use som-"

"I'll be there," I interrupt him.

"Really?" Robby asks, sounding like he doesn't have much faith in me.

"I promise," I say softly into the phone and he sighs.

"Thank you so much, Zion," he tells me in relief. I let him call me Zion because it doesn't feel right for him to call me Z.

"Of course. I'm here for you," I say, glad I can help in some small way.

"Okay. I'll be at the Sylmar Juvenile Correction Facility. See you soon," he says, a bit more hopeful.

"See you." The call ends.

I don't know what him being out of juvie means. Is he going to do karate again? Is he back to Miyagi-Do? Does he still have feelings for Sam? Will he consider joining Cobra Kai with me? Maybe karate isn't even an option for him anymore.

Sure, it's great to know this stuff for the real world, but I wouldn't blame him for giving it up. I won't pressure him into it. The last thing he needs is more stress, what with his dad and the LaRusso drama. I just hope he doesn't fall for Johnny's bullshit, too.

⭒⭒⭒

Two hours later I'm driving around the parking lot of the place Robby told me to come to. I don't know what door he's coming out of or anything and I feel kind of awkward just driving in circles.

Suddenly, through the rain, I see a figure walking. I roll down my window, "Robby!"

His head turns my direction and he walks toward me. I smile when I see him, but he doesn't return it. I unlock the door and he hops in.

"I didn't think you were coming," he says as he tries to dry off.

"I promised I would," I argue and he nods with a sad smile. I roll up the window and pull towards the highway. "I wasn't sure where to pick you up. I'm sorry you had to walk in the rain."

"It's fine," he says. I thought he'd be happier about finally being let out.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he shakes his head and I frown, wanting to help.

"I'm glad you're okay. I was worried when you stopped writing back," I say.

Robby tenses, "It was a little hard to when everyone was beating me up."

"Oh," I say in shock that he snapped at me. "I'm sorry. It's okay you didn't write back... I-"

He looks over at me and sighs, "No, Zion, I'm sorry."

"It's all right," I drive down the highway and get caught in morning traffic.

"I didn't mean to take that out on you," he says. "I've just had a rough morning."

"You've had a rough couple of months," I correct in understanding. "We all have."

"Still," he says, "I shouldn't have let my temper get the best of me with you."

I blush a little and turn my head to the side; he's always so caring.

"I like your hair color. Much better than the Kool-Aid purple."

"Oh, thank you," I say in appreciation. "The purple was definitely a phase." He nods. "It's okay to be angry, you know. I know about anger and trust me, it feels good to channel it into your fighting."

Robby just nods. He seems distant, thinking about something. "I don't have my appointment to get a probation officer until this afternoon. Do you just want to drop me off somewhere while you go to school?"

I look at him, "And leave you alone? I mean, I know I have school, but I don't want to just abandon you on your first day back."

"It's okay. I'm going to figure out a place to sleep and stuff," he explains.

"You don't know where you're staying?"

He shakes his head. "Mom's in rehab and I don't know where else to go." I smile internally that he isn't going back to the LaRusso's or his dad's.

"Well..." I think of an offer, "I know that it's not the best option, but worse comes to worse you can sleep at Cobra Kai in the back room."

"What?" he turns to me.

"Yeah, there are some extra mats to sleep on," I nod awkwardly, not making eye contact.

"I don't know if Sensei Kreese would be okay with that."

"Well... he lets me do it," I admit softly and glance at Robby for a reaction.

"You've been staying at Cobra Kai?" he asks me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Um, yeah," I nod and try to focus on the road, taking the next exit. "Just until I have enough money for an apartment, I guess. I work a job and clean around the dojo in exchange for staying there, but there's no way I'd stay with... well, with Janice, you know?"

"I didn't realize you were so... alone."

"It's all right. Sensei Kreese is great for letting me stay there and he seems to like you, so you're welcome to if all else fails," I offer.

"I'll keep it in mind," he nods as I pull into the complex where Probation Services is.

"I hate to leave you here to wander around alone," I say.

"I got my phone back," he pulls it out of his back pocket. "I'll text you I'm safe, okay?"

"Okay," I accept this and he gets out of the car.

"Thank you so much, Zion," Robby says as he looks down in embarrassment.

"You're welcome, Keene," I smile and he closes the door. I watch him walk away before I drive off to school, worried I'm going to be late.

⭒⭒⭒

Surprisingly, I make it to school early and it's sunny on the other side of town. I hate that I left Robby, but missing school would create a plethora of problems with Janice and I can't have that. At least today is the last day of school before winter break and nobody - not even the teachers - actually care about learning.

I walk into school and head to where the Cobras meet up in the mornings. Hawk smiles when he sees me and I return it. It's weird, whatever is going on between us. These past two weeks we've had good moments with basically no drama. It's nice, but I don't trust it.

"Hey, boys," I say. They smile at me, whether it's wearily or not.

"'Sup," Edwin replies with a small head nod. Rickenberger isn't here, but neither is Kyler; it's only a handful of us right now.

I go to sit and then realize the only space is next to Hawk. I shift uncomfortably on my feet, choosing to stand.

"What? Are you scared of me?" Hawk notices my apprehension. "I won't bite. Just sit."

I sigh and sit next to him since I'm really tired from being up all night training. Sensei Kreese saw me before I left the dojo and made a pot of coffee, but there's only so much caffeine can do.

Hawk clears his throat beside me and I turn to him in confusion. His eyes look past me and I see Miguel walking by us. I tense as his eyes fall over us in disappointment. Miguel shakes his head and walks away, leaving me with a pit of guilt in my stomach.

It's been this way for two weeks. I haven't felt great about leaving Miguel behind. At first it was easy, but as time goes by I feel sad. I miss him all over again. I have to remember this is for the best.

"You okay?" Hawk asks me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "Of course I'm fine." I grab my things, really not wanting to invite the idea of talking about Miguel. "I'm going to my locker, so see you later." I stand up abruptly, leaving Hawk. I also don't want to talk to him; I doubt something good could happen again between us.

I walk down the hallway and pass Sam and Miguel talking. It makes me sick to see them together after what happened with Tory and Robby; however, I won't break up their conversation because I am trying to ignore him. Miguel made a honest mistake. Maybe Sam did, too. Or, maybe she was just using Robby the whole time.

I make it to my locker and open it to grab my huge biology textbook. I look down the hallway and see Jenna with the other cheerleaders. It makes me mad because I thought she understood me, but she left and wouldn't even listen to me. I'm more mad at the fact that she wanted me to defend my enemy than I am at us being over. She was great, but I'm beginning to think I was more in love with the idea of being over Hawk.

I close my door and turn around to see two people making out. I cringe in disgust because they are really going at it.

"Yasmine?" a voice asks. I look over to see Sam and Miguel staring at the couple exchanging saliva. I stare in shock when the girl responds, her head snapping our way.

No. Fucking. Way. She was kissing Demetri?!

"Hey, um... we were just, uh..." Demetri tries to catch his breath. He doesn't see me on the other side of the hallway because he's looking at Miguel and Sam only.

"Doing study work," Yasmine finishes unconvincingly. How did Demetri get with her? I can't believe it.

"Yup," Demetri nods like a dork.

"So, you two are...?" Sam trails off with a smile. I watch in enjoyment as Yasmine's face pales even more in a panic.

"What?" she scoffs with a small laugh. "Ew. Ew! No. No. Like I would ever date this freak." She shares a look with Demetri and I can tell they really do like each other. This is the last thing I ever expected to happen.

She pats his chest and walks away and Demetri calls after her, "Whatever, Cruella. Why don't you go kill a bunch of Dalmatians?" He turns back towards Miguel and Sam causing me to turn my head and pretend I'm not spying on this interaction. "I am one hundred and one percent in love," I hear him say before walking away. He's such a geek.

I turn around and watch him walk the opposite way Yasmine went. I look back at Sam and Miguel standing together and frown before walking to class.

Everyone else seems happy. I'm eating shit while Demetri - of all people - gets Yasmine. And Sam and Miguel have the nerve to be together after everything. All I want is to not be lonely anymore, to be loved.

Apparently that's too goddamn much to ask for. I'm practically an orphan now. I've had to push my best friend away. Hawk and I broke up over something I didn't even do and now we'll never get back together because he's being an asshole about it all. Robby is still hung up on Sam, Tory is working herself to the bone... When do we get to win at life?

I sit in biology with my head hung. I hate being here. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear.

⭒⭒⭒

I walk around to tidy up the dojo after class for the day ends. I grab a plastic bottle, an empty Doritos bag, and a few other things before disposing of them properly.

"Z," Sensei Kreese call from his office.

"Yes, Sensei?" I walk in. I'm still in my gi from class. I wonder what's wrong.

"I have to go to the city council meeting tonight," he tells me. I wait for him to continue, confused. "They cancelled the All Valley."

To be honest, I don't really care about some tournament. I'm working so hard to just survive and now I have to win a tournament, too? It's great for the fame and everything, but I don't care. I don't have any motivation. Cobra Kai feels like it's on top after the confrontation at Eagle Fang Karate and the laser tag arena fight with Miyagi-Do.

"Oh," is all I can say.

"We are in a war," Sensei Kreese says. I look over at a picture of him with who must be some friends from Vietnam. Maybe he'll tell me about them sometime. "And we don't lose. We come out on top. What are we?"

"Winners, Sensei," I say with a small smile.

"Right," he returns a small grin as he stands up. "I'm going to convince the council to put the tournament back on."

"Do you want me to come with you?" I offer.

"I can manage it," he nods. "You like tired, child. Maybe get some sleep while I'm gone?"

"Yes, Sensei," I lie. I can't sleep. The nightmares will come back.

"All right," he says. "Text me if you need somethin'." He grabs his things and walks out, leaving me alone in the dojo.

I check my phone for something from Robby, but no such luck. He did text me twice earlier, to let me know he's all right. 

After cleaning for a bit, I sit down and observe myself in the mirror. I need to brush my hair. I yawn and feel my eyelids closing, coaxing me to sleep. I hesitate, wondering if it's a good idea to sleep. My body needs it, I know this, but it takes a toll on me mentally.

Eventually, I give into the feeling and pass out.

⭒⭒⭒

"Hey, hey, hey," Demetri walks over to our side of the gym at the Halloween dance. I'm standing next to Eli and Miguel at the punch bowl.

"Hey, you seem happy," Miguel comments.

"I am," Demetri nods. "Yasmine accidentally bumped into me just now. Her elbow touched my ribs." He's so lame. I wonder how this boy can be so weird about interacting with girls.

"That's cool," Eli says supportively.

"Yeah. You're practically married," I mutter and Miguel laughs.

"You should ask Yasmine to dance," Miguel suggests.

"Pshhh. Yeah, like she'd ever say yes. The humiliation of rejection would linger for years after we graduate," Demetri says.

"Well..." Miguel looks around. "We can ask the Dragon Queens to dance." I see a group of girls looking over at the boys flirtatiously and Eli hides behind his surgical mask shyly. I feel a pang in my heart... is this jealousy?

"I don't have a chance with them, either," Demetri complains.

"You never know until you try," Miguel argues and walks over to one of them. Demetri follows him and I wait for Eli to leave, too.

When Eli doesn't move, I turn to him, "Don't you want to ask them to dance?"

"They'll laugh at my lip," he frowns.

"Your lip is actually awesome and attractive," I argue. "If they're that shallow they aren't worth it." He looks at me with a smile in his eyes and I'm sure there is one under his mask.

"Zion... Do... um, do..." he nervously shifts around.

"Yes, Eli. I want to dance with you," I accept his invitation before he can fully ask it and hold out my hand. He takes it and leads me to the dance floor.

"You look really pretty," he says sweetly and I blush.

"Thank you. You look very handsome," I counter as we dance and his face turns red.

A slow song then comes on and I look at Eli to see if he wants to still dance with me. I'd love to slow dance with him. He's so sweet, considerate, and he makes me feel so happy inside. I always feel good about myself when I'm with him.

We step closer to each other, the moment innocent and new. He hesitantly places his hands on my hips and my arms wrap around the back of his neck. We're both wondering what this means and I lead him in dancing, assuming he doesn't know how. He steps on my feet a few times and I assure him its okay.

"I'm so bad at this," he says.

"You're doing just fine," I assure him.

"Everyone is staring," he says nervously.

"Then let them stare," I say. "Your lip isn't as bad as they make it out to be. Bullies are cruel and nobody really knows why, but they're probably just jealous."

"Jealous of a freak like me?" he asks and I shake my head.

"You aren't a freak. People just don't look close enough to see the real you. You make me feel good about myself, Eli," I encourage. "I wish you could see yourself the way I do. That scar is badass," I reach over and pull off his mask gently; he doesn't fight me when I do so. "And so are you."

Our eyes connect and I feel like we're truly seeing each other, having a moment.

"Zion..." Eli steps closer and my stomach has butterflies. "Can I... Can I kiss you?"

I nod and after a moment he leans in awkwardly. Our lips meet and he softly kisses me, sending fireworks everywhere around us. I relax into the kiss, loving every second of it.

When we pull away, he blushes sheepishly, "I-I love you, Zion."

"I love you, too, Eli," I smile brightly.

⭒⭒⭒

I wake up in a panic, wondering why I had the dream. A... good dream? A daydream... of me kissing Eli.

I can't still love Hawk. Not after everything. He's turned into a jerk; the sweet Eli I knew is gone. We've had good moments, but I just keep going in circles with him and there comes a point when it needs to stop.

I stand up from where I was lying on the mats and continue cleaning. Great, now I'm even more tired.

I go to the back room to set up my makeshift bed. All I have is a blanket and small pillow on top of extra mats, but it's all right.

As I'm setting everything up, I hear the door on the dojo ring. I freeze, wondering who it is. Hopefully it's Robby and not some stranger.

I hesitantly walk to the front, tiptoeing. I peek around the corner, but don't see anybody.

"Sensei?" a voice asks.

"Hawk?" I respond and walk out to see the boy with the red mohawk standing there.

"Z," his eyes go wide in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, uh... obviously I'm here to train," I say as confidently as I can. I can't lead on that I had a dream about kissing him.

"Right. I came to train, too," he nods. "Is Sensei here? I heard they cancelled the All Valley."

"Oh, yeah, he's actually out handling it," I say.

"Nice. Handling it how?" he smirks.

"Something about a council meeting," I say awkwardly and look around for something to do to not have to talk to him.

"Okay," he nods. "Well, I came to let off some steam. My mom kind of pissed me off earlier, so is it all right if I stay here, too?"

I want to object, but then I remember he doesn't know I'm staying here and I'd like to keep it that way. "Go ahead."

"Okay," he nods as I walk to the back and grab some weights and he goes over to the punching bag. Thankfully, my bed is hidden.

It's silent as we train, aside from the breathing and sounds of punching. This is so goddamn awkward.

"I actually wanted to talk to you," Hawk stops punching and I don't even look at him.

"We don't have to talk," I say and set down the weights.

"Z," he steps toward me and I get nervous at the closer proximity. I can't tell if I'm scared of what could happen or of what I'm feeling or both. This is Hawk; he won't do anything bad to me.

"What did you wanna talk about?" I stand up and move around.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask, wishing he would clarify.

"For being an ass to you," he says. "For getting mad at you about Miguel and saying all the stuff that made people call you those sick and twisted words. I've felt bad ever since I overstepped and ruined your date with Jenna."

I look down, "Oh. Um, that's... thank you." I spin my ring around, "I actually think Jenna and I were a bad match, anyway. She wanted me to make up with Miyagi-Do, like they didn't start the fight."

"Then... you're welcome?" he asks me cockily.

"I wouldn't go that far." He nods.

Silence.

"I was just upset about Robby still, you know?" he says and I glance up at this. "And on top of that, Miguel had been in the hospital, so my best friend was gone and there's a bunch of pressure on me, so... I guess you've been feeling the pain of it, too, huh?"

I nod sadly. He's being open and honest with me like he used to be. Maybe this is a good time for me to return it and let him back in my life a little. He's one of the only people I have at Cobra Kai anymore and being alone isn't fun. But we're just talking; nothing will come out of it, right?

"Yeah, uh..." I try to get the words out. "Miguel being in the hospital, um... it brought back some bad memories o-of my dad." My voice breaks and I try to compose myself. "Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't fucking cry." I look up and try to hold in my tears.

The second those tears leave your eyes, you lose.

Hawk moves closer, his arms open for a comforting hug, "Come here." I step back and he moves away awkwardly.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm okay," I say lamely, knowing that physical contact could very much kill me inside. Especially with him. I last hugged him when Miguel fell - when I was weak - and I don't want to cry in his arms again. I can't be that vulnerable again. I've come too far and worked too hard.

SIlence.

"I'm sorry I gave you hell on top of everything else," he says and I look away. He doesn't even know the half of it.

"...I'm sorry I said you had gonorrhea," I lighten the mood with a funnier topic because I'm uncomfortable.

"That was brutal," he nods with a small smirk. "I did deserve it, though. I shouldn't have said you slept with me in the first place. It was so stupid."

Our eyes meet and I see him looking at me in understanding. I realize now that he said he was upset about Robby, in past tense. Does that mean he isn't anymore? Does he believe I didn't cheat on him?

"Well, if we're both here to train, do you think we could spar? You're much more challenging than that punching bag over there," he suggests and I hesitate. We used to spar a lot together.

"I mean... it would be beneficial for both of us to take on each other, wouldn't it?" I ask with a smile, accepting this.

"It would," he nods and steps back to get into position. "Just please don't knock me unconscious," he says a little timidly, remembering what happened with Walker.

"Darn," I say softly and he chuckles. "Just don't draw too much blood," I tease him and we share a smile. I have to admit I'm happy that we can laugh about rightfully beating up our former bullies.

I mirror his position and we nod at each other to start. I move in first with a few punches and he avoids them before throwing a side kick my way, causing me to lean back and do a walk-over. He smirks a little at my agility and flexibility before I sweep his leg and he steps away, causing me to miss. He swings and I duck. I notice his current lack of balance and stable base and use this to my advantage.

I grab his arm and jump, putting my legs around his waist. I catch him off-guard and use my body weight to bring him forward. He rolls on his back with a groan as I stand up easily and pin him down with my foot on his chest. He looks at me in awe.

"I win," I smirk and he chuckles.

"Whoa, when did you learn that move? You can take down guys twice your size easily if you use that," he says in shock.

"Sensei Kreese is really good at helping me find weaknesses in my opponents," I take my foot off of him, proud of myself. The whole point of the move is to do just that if there's ever a threat.

I won't let what happened with Adam happen again.

"You must be getting extra classes?" Hawk sits up.

"Yeah, I do make up classes whenever I have to work," I half-lie with a shrug.

"Well, you kicked my ass. Damn," he laughs.

"Wouldn't be the first or the last time," I agree with a smile. He puts his hands in his pockets, looking down. "Um, you came here because of your mom? Is everything okay?" I ask, concerned for him.

"Yeah, it was just a stupid fight about my future. She's worried about college and shit," he explains. "I told her I don't care about college and she lost it with me."

"What did she do?" I automatically ask and realize that isn't something a normal person would ask.

"She just yelled," he responds.

"Right. Yeah," I nod awkwardly. "Um... you're lucky you can go to college and that she cares," I remind him, not able to stress this enough.

"I don't know what else I'm passionate about besides karate, you know? The future and shit is stressful to think about," he tells me.

"I know," I nod. "All I'm saying is be thankful and cherish your moments with those you love."

Silence.

"I sound like a Hallmark card," I groan.

"But you're right," he says with a slight smile. It's then that I realize we've moved closer to each other, our bodies only a few inches apart. "I should cherish those I love."

He looks down at me with a soft smirk and I look up at him, feeling a way I haven't felt in a while. My heart pounds in my chest, wanting him to take me and kiss me fiercely. He still loves me? Is that why he said he doesn't want to leave me? Did he mean that?

Hawk leans in and puts his hand on my cheek, giving into the energy between us.

My eyes watch his lips move closer to me before I panic and place my hand on his chest to stop him.

"...What are we doing?" I ask softly and he moves his upper body back and away from me in confusion. "I'm sorry... I just don't think this is a good idea," I tell him.

"Why not?" he asks, trying to understand.

"We keep doing whatever this is," I gesture between us, "and it only ends in... in flames." He frowns. "I mean, think about it. We get close to each other again and it falls apart."

"Maybe before we weren't fighting for it hard enough," he suggests.

"We shouldn't be struggling to stay together," I counter. "You said at Moon's party that with time you'd trust me... I'm just wanting to believe we trust each other again, but do we? You're sweet one second and the next you're being a huge jerk."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?" he asks sadly.

I hesitate before responding. Whatever I say will change our dynamic forever. I don't want to lose him, but I can't lie.

"No. I don't."

Silence.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five long, uncomfortable seconds of silence.

While I want to tell him that I love him, I'm too scared. What if he uses it against me? What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if it makes me look weak?

"But I want to," I admit and look up at him.

He smiles slightly and it sets him apart from Hawk for just a second; it reminds me of Eli.

"I want you to, too," Hawk says. "And I'll prove it to you." 

"Hawk-"

"I should get back home. You were here first, anyway."

I toy with my ring as he steps away. I don't know if I can trust him or anyone, really. I'm messed up.

"Listen, I told the guys my plan to get a gift for Sensei Kreese. We're going to break into the zoo and steal a cobra tomorrow after class," he says excitedly. "Come with us."

"That... I don't know. That sounds illegal," I say wearily. "I'm just worried if... if Janice-"

"She won't. I won't let you get caught," Hawk says. My heart rate increases as I look at him; he's finally wanting to step up and grow as a person. He doesn't need to protect me, but his heart is there and that's why I accept his reasoning.

"Okay. I'll be there," I nod.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow," he says, his the smile growing a little wider.

Then, he turns and walks out.

I watch him leave the dojo and then let out a big sigh of relief that I didn't know I was holding in. That is not how I expected tonight to go.

I walk next door and grab a few Red Bulls since they're cheaper than beer and will keep me awake. It's weird how a "good dream" is actually almost as unsettling as a bad one.

I thank the worker and make it back to the dojo to set up my things. It's really dark now and I wonder if I should be worried that Sensei Kreese isn't back yet. I also wonder if Robby found a place to sleep.

The whole time Hawk was here I didn't even think about Robby and how he's alone out there.

The door to the dojo rings and I walk out to see Sensei Kreese has finally returned. He looks happy, so I assume it went well.

"Sensei?"

He holds open a poster. The poster advertises the All Valley and I smile, actually getting excited now.

I took down Hawk tonight. I've taken down opponents bigger than me and I really do believe in myself. I can be a winner. I can win this thing, if I want to, with his training expertise.

"There are some thumbtacks on my desk. Get them, will ya'?" he asks me.

I nod, walking into the office and bringing back a few. He puts the poster up on the wall and we stand back to admire it.

"I'm actually excited," I say softly and see Sensei smirking in agreement.

I hear the door to the dojo open and I turn around, worried about who it could be now.

I smile happily, "Robby."

He looks around wearily, a little comforted by my presence, it seems, "Sensei Kreese?"

"Hello, son," Sensei turns around with a welcoming look. "How can I help ya'?"

"Um... I hope it's okay I told him he could stay here if he needs," I speak up. Sensei nods with a slight look of approval.

"Just for the night," Robby corrects. I'm kind of sad he isn't planning on staying. He could be great at Cobra Kai.

"Of course that's fine. Z, can you help him set up a bed?" Sensei Kreese turns to me.

"Yes, Sensei," I nod and gesture for Robby to follow me. He walks behind me with his head down, and I wonder what's wrong. Something bad must have happened today.

I grab a few mats and lay them horizontally stacked on top of each other. Robby helps me, and I give him a small smile of gratitude, considering they're a bit heavy.

"Are you okay?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I'm all right," he says unconvincingly.

"No, you aren't."

"I don't want to talk about it," he shrugs.

I nod, giving him his space. I understand where he's coming from.

"I should get back to my apartment," Sensei Kreese walks to the back as Robby straightens out the mats on his makeshift bed. "Will you two be okay?"

"Yeah, we should be," I look at Robby for confirmation.

"Thank you," he says, trying to sound appreciative. It makes me sad that he's so upset about something. He never seems happy anymore.

"No problem. Have a goodnight," Sensei Kreese says and walks out, leaving Robby and I alone.

I turn to the boy nervously, a little anxious about this situation... Was this really my idea?

"Here, you can have my blanket," I offer it to him and hold it out.

"No, that's okay. I'll manage," he says. I smile and toss it onto his pile of mats anyway and he frowns. "You get cold easily, remember? Take it back," he tosses it back to me and I reluctantly set it back down on my stack.

"Then... you get the pillow," I say and hold it out for him.

"Fine," he takes it, not wanting to argue.

We both sit down and he lays back as I sit up and scroll on my phone through Twitter, doing anything to keep me awake and not bother Robby.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" he turns to me after a few minutes.

"O-Oh, I'm sure I will eventually," I lie, trying to hide my Red Bull that gives away my plans of a sleepless night.

"Why don't you want to sleep?" Robby presses the question.

"I don't want to talk about it," I counter his words from earlier and he nods.

I scroll back through Twitter, not wanting to think about the guilt I get in my dreams when my mind attacks me with my fears and regrets: Janice, Miguel, Ella, Adam, Hawk, and even Robby.

"Mr. LaRusso came to see me when I got released today," Robby speaks up, staring at the ceiling. I stare in shock when he actually opens up to me. "My dad did, too. That's why I was so mad when you picked me up. They were fighting, which is exactly what started this whole feud. I told them to leave me alone. I'm better off without them."

"Oh. I know what you mean. I'm sorry that happened-"

"And then I went over to Miyagi-Do," he says and my breathing hitches. Why would he do that? "I guess I don't really know why. I was hoping to see Sam and... I don't know. Maybe I thought I'd see that she's a good person? That she still wanted to be with me...? Even though she... well, you know."

"She isn't a good person," I counter and he nods in agreement. His heart is broken; he finally isn't defending her. "I'm so sorry she tricked you like that."

"I saw her with Miguel," he explains. "They were having some kind of... playful date there and it made me sick to see that the rumor about them really was true, that she really did choose him over me. It's always... him over me."

I hate that he's jealous of who Sam is with and the fact that it's Miguel. It's so complicated, but I have to be here for the boy right in front of me.

"She isn't worth the heartache," I say. "Some people aren't worth missing."

"Some people are," he says and looks right at me.

I feel my stomach do a backflip as he looks at me in a way I haven't seen in... well, since Tory pointed it out to me at Moon's party. My voice is caught at the back of my throat.

"It's no surprise I was mad when I found out you were at my dad's dojo. And dating Hawk, nonetheless."

"Oh..."

Hawk said earlier he was upset about Robby and now its vice versa? How did I get to this point?

"You know, you should really try to sleep," Robby changes the topic.

"I will," I lie.

"I see the Red Bull behind you. That much caffeine isn't going to let you sleep," he tells me and I look down in embarrassment that he sees it. "I don't need to know why, but can you at least try to sleep?"

"Robby, I really-"

"You look exhausted."

"Just what every girl wants to hear," I get defensive.

"Please try. It isn't healthy to lose this much sleep," he says and my eyes meet his beautiful ones. He cares. I don't think I ever doubted that he did.

"Um... Okay," I say, really hoping the nightmares won't come. "I'll try."

He smiles softly and walks over to the other room to turn out the light. He leaves us in the darkness and I shift a little uncomfortably. The darkness and silence invite bad thoughts.

"Goodnight, Zion," he says in a relaxing voice and it puts me a little at ease.

"Goodnight, Robby," I respond in a whisper and lay back with the blanket.

⭒⭒⭒

I'm in my house in Santa Maria. I'm cleaning the dishes, but something feels weird. I feel a weight on my chest, like someone is watching me. I look around for someone, but I don't see anything. I continue cleaning a plate until I hear a voice behind me.

"Hey, honey."

I drop the plate in a panic and it shatters on the ground.

Adam moves closer to me, "I came home early. Thought we could have a movie night. You need to clean up that mess first, babygirl."

My skin crawls as I move away from him, terrified out of my mind. I then realizing I'm backing up into my old dining room.

The dining room is an abandoned storage room since we never use it. It has bad memories for me. I don't want to go in there.

"Come on, baby," Adam walks closer and grabs my hand, leading me to the doorway of the dining room against my protests. "Clean up the mess and I'll reward you."

"N-No," I whisper in fear.

"Did you just say no to me?" he asks and his hand move to my wrist, gripping it tightly and I squeak out in pain. "Look at me." I look up at him towering over me. "You're nothing without me. Nobody else loves you. You listen to what I say, you piece of shit."

"Please, no," I plead as anxiety and PTSD rush through my body and make me feel numb. "Leave me alone. Please. Please. Stop. Please."

"I'll teach you not to disobey," Adam smirks, "Zion. Zion. Zion. Zion."

⭒⭒⭒

"Zion. Zion."

I jump awake and get up to move around and attempt to shake away the panic, not able to take in any of my surroundings. I hyperventilate and feel tears slowly streaming down my face. The walls are distorted and look terrifying, freaking me out even more.

"Zion, it's okay," the voice that woke me says calmly. I turn my head to see Robby watching me in the middle of my panic attack and I can't stop it.

It was only a nightmare. This is so embarrassing, but the walls are closing in on me and I feel everything becoming disoriented.

I'm being overdramatic. I'm overthinking it. I need to get a grip.

"How about we sit down?" he suggests and a hand touches my arm.

A shiver runs up my spine as I move away at the unexpected contact. I try to get a grip on my breathing as he sits on my bed and pats beside him, ready for me to join him on my own account.

I breathe heavily and try to walk, wondering how I do so everyday without even thinking about it. Right now I can barely move my legs. I sob and almost stumble as I make it back over to my stack of mats, collapsing onto them.

I sit upright with my leg shaking up and down anxiously. I feel my body not wanting to calm down and I know I'm beginning to sweat. I hear the world around me ringing dully and it's only when Robby speaks up in his seat next to me that I snap back into reality,

"Do you remember when we went to that health food place for a date?" I look at him in confusion and he continues. "You were nervous to take me there because neither of us had been before, but I assured you it would be okay. We got smoothies and they were pretty good. Do you remember what kind they were?"

My brain is cloudy and my breathing is heavy as I try to respond. I can't think of it at all.

"It was strawberry and something else..." Robby says, trying to think of it and I remember.

"Banana," I manage to squeak out and take in a deep breath of air.

"Oh, yeah. Strawberry and banana smoothies. And then the food came and we immediately regret choosing there," he laughs. "They burnt my sandwich, your eggs were runny, and the bread was hard as rocks." I nod with a smile, remembering that night.

"It... It was a d-disaster," I sigh and my breathing steadies.

"Just the food. The rest of the night was fun," he says. "At least, for me."

"It was fun for me, too," I say and lay my head on his shoulder, wanting to rest my head as it pounds. "I'm sorry," I choke out with a sob.

"It's all right. You're okay now," he assures me as one more tear rolls down my cheek and onto his jacket. I'm okay now.

"I should... be used... t-to these nightmares," I whisper. Why do I always have nightmares? Why can I never escape it?

"You get these a lot?" he asks in concern and I nod, my head still resting on his shoulder. "Do you want to talk it out?"

"N-No," I say, my breath shaky.

"That's okay. You don't have to."

We sit in a comfortable silence together for a few minutes, me leaning on him and him not failing to be here for me.

"I'm sorry I'm so weak," I sit up straight and wipe my tears in embarrassment.

"You aren't," he says. "You are so strong."

"So strong that I have panic attacks from nightmares?" I ask.

"You're strong for handling these so well," he says. "Do you usually have these on your own?" I nod. "See? You're stronger than anyone ever knows."

"I... I never thought of it that way," I say.

"We all have things that scare us, that make us doubt ourselves," he says. "Sometimes I worry that I'm nothing more than a loser like my dad."

"You aren't anything like your dad," I assure him.

"I know. And you aren't weak," he tells me. "Juvie helped me realize that I can be more than what the rest of the world sees. Being in there... it really gave me time to reflect on who is important in my life and who isn't."

I turn to look at him and see him already staring at me. His hand gently taps mine and I pull it away. He looks forward in embarrassment, like he should've known better.

I change my mind and interlock his fingers with mine to feel some comfort and I feel him relax at the same time I do.

A minute or so later, Robby yawns and it causes me to yawn, too.

"I'm really sorry I woke you up and worried you," I admit.

"It's okay, really. I don't mind at all," he says.

"How'd you know what to do?" I ask curiously.

"My mom got a bunch of panic attacks when I was younger. She has really bad anxiety," he explains with a frown. "It's part of why she drinks so much."

"Oh. I'm sorry," I say, clutching his hand tighter to let him know I'm also here for him.

"Yeah, well, it helped you, right?" he asks and I nod. "You don't always have to 'act strong' with me. I know you. Your vulnerability is beautiful."

"It's a weakness," I argue.

"Only when you show it to the wrong people," he corrects. "You can trust me."

"You can trust me, too," I say, trying to find it in myself to fully trust him. "Um, what time is it?"

"Three," he says and I sigh in frustration. "Did you want to try to sleep again?"

I hesitate, really not wanting the scary thoughts to come back. It's like torture.

"How about we scoot our mats together and that way you can stay beside me if you need anything?" he suggests. "If you... If you think that would be a good idea...?"

"Um..." I worry about the physical contact, but then remember how Robby is gentle and caring. "We can try it," I nod and he smiles a little.

We move the beds closer and get in on either side awkwardly. This feels very intimate and it makes me weary.

"I didn't mean to wake you. You just look so gorgeous when you sleep."

"Zion?" Robby softly whispers to me and snaps me out of the memory. He already looks comfortable - well, as. comfortable as you can be on these mats - and stays far to his side. "What's wrong? Can I help somehow?"

This is Robby. He's never hurt me.

I nod and decide to trust him, scooting closer. He welcomes me to his side with a small smile and it puts me at ease.

He wraps his arms around my upper body and I place my head on his chest. My heartbeat matches his after a moment.

"Thank you, Robby," I whisper as my eyes flutter closed.

"Anytime."

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: So... team Zobby or Elion (idk)?

The next chapter is the Hawk and Robby confrontation and I'm anxious just thinking about it!

I already have my plans for the end of season 3, so just letting you know now hehe.

I'm so sad season 3 of this book is ending, but I have ideas of other things to add to this book so I can continue to update while we wait for season 4. More on that front to come soon;)

I changed the book cover and can't tell if I like this one or the old red one better... Thoughts?

Have a great Easter, if you celebrate it. Love you all!