Chapter Forty-Six: Evasive

"I keep a record of the wreckage of my life. I gotta recognize the weapon in my mind. They talk shit, but I love it every time. And I realize I'm no sweet dream, but I'm a hell of a night."

~Nightmare by Halsey~

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Revised: September 4, 2022

A/N: I think that this song ^ describes Zion perfectly. It's scary accurate and I just found it the other day haha.

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, langubage, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, and other mature themes

I apologize in advance for all the character slander in this chapter haha. I swear I love everyone.

Also, I'm updating earlier than I said I would, but the Author's Note at the bottom is important regarding the next chapter, so please leave your ideas there. I'd really appreciate it because I'm currently struggling with writer's block.

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Zion's POV

I'm enjoying the sunset on the beach as the sand works its way between my toes.

"HELP!" a girl screams.

I look behind me to see a girl about my age being picked up by a man. She struggles and I immediately run over to save her, "Leave her alone!"

I roundhouse kick the attacker and the girl regains her footing. The man turns to me, "You're going to regret that."

I see the girl running away, leaving me here with this man who's a few inches taller than me. I turn to run away, but hands wrap around my waist and yank me back. I jab my elbow into the soft spot of the guy's neck, cutting off his airway. Then, I do a jumping spin-kick - a move I wasn't even aware I could do -  and knock him down.

"P-Please. Stop," the man pleas from the ground.

Then it hits me. He looks like, "Miguel?"

"Stop hurting me. Please," he looks smaller now and my eyes soften. It's Miguel.

"No, no, I don't want to hurt you," I crouch beside him and he grabs my hand.

"I miss you," he says softly.

"I-I miss you, too, Miggy," I say and he wraps me in a hug. He always gives the best hugs.

"Mercy is a weakness," a voice says behind me. I turn to see another man is standing up and he looks like... Adam.

"No," I whisper and try to stand up to run away in a panic.

I grab Miguel and try to run away with him, but only a few seconds later I hear a gunshot.

I look beside me to see Miguel no longer there. I turn back and see the sand is red and Miguel has collapsed.

"NO!" I scream and rush back over to my best friend's limp body, tears streaming down my face. "M-Miguel," I sob and try to get him up.

"You're weak," the other man says and picks me up by the waist. I struggle to break free, failing in his arms.

I look back at Miguel, "No, no, no, please. You killed Miguel!"

"No, babygirl. You killed Miguel," the man who resembles Adam says.

I panic, truly worried this time I did kill Miguel. He got close to me again and I lost him. I'm a disaster around him. It's my fault. I get attached and then I make a foolish mistake and lose and hurt whoever I love.

I curl into myself, pulling my knees to my chest and closing my eyes, hot tears streaming down my face. I deserve whatever happens to me. This is my fault. It has to be.

I look up after a moment and realize now it's really bright. I'm blinded from fluorescents surrounding me. I'm dreaming. This can't be real. 

I take in the new environment. It smells like bleach, the floors are made of hardwood, and I'm surrounded by mirrors. It's a room with no doors and only mirrors for walls, but that's not even the most disturbing thing about it. The mirrors don't reflect anything except the others. It's like I'm not even here.

I stand up and walk around to see if at least one will see me, but I feel invisible. Nothing changes in the mirrors' reflections.

"Hello?" I mouth, but no sound comes out. I don't know what's going on.

I try again and move my lips. It's like my voice is caught in the back of my throat. I can't speak. How do I wake up?

I panic and rush over to a mirror, looking for a door. I need some way to get out. There has to be a way out.

But I try every mirror, pulling on it and tapping it, continuing to try to speak. Nothing. No escape.

I feel the panic rise inside of me as I decide my last option is to try to break the mirrors with force. I bring my fist back, desperate to get the glass broken and maybe get out of here.

My flesh makes contact with the mirror, but it doesn't break. Instead, I pull my hand back in pain and see my knuckles are red and will probably bruise.

I try again, punching harder, but to no avail.

I side kick the mirror. Nothing.

I front kick another mirror. Nothing.

I feel helplessness wash over me. I'm trapped. I'm going to die here. Or worse.

I'm weak. I killed Miguel. I didn't save him. It's my fault.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.

The mirrors move closer and closer to me and I let out a sob of helplessness. It's hopeless to fight. I don't want to give up, but what choice do I have?

⭒⭒⭒

I awake in a pool of sweat, my body shaking. I'm nauseous and run as fast as I can to the bathroom. I just barely make it to the toilet, throwing up the beer, coffee, and granola bar I had earlier. 

I hold back my hair as much as I can until I feel like I'm done. I take deep breaths to get rid of how dizzy I am.

How did I even manage to fall asleep? I had caffeine in my system and I was ready for another all nighter because I knew I'd have a nightmare if I fell asleep. I always have a nightmare unless I'm super drunk and apparently tonight I wasn't drunk enough. 

I rinse out my mouth and look at myself in the mirror. I relax when I see that I'm in the reflection this time. I'm real. I'm imperfect, but I try and I'm here.

I flip my hair in the mirror, seeing my natural color coming back. I hate it. It reminds me of everything I was before: weak. I'm not Zion Ambrose anymore. I'm Z and this version of myself is here to stay.

I'm a fighter because of Cobra Kai; I've fought to stay here, to stay alive, to prove to my mom I'm not a failure, to prove to myself I have a purpose for being on this planet, to prove to everyone that I'm a winner, to make my dad proud.

And I always go back to the worry that he isn't proud of me. What I'm doing is right, but sometimes it can feel so wrong. I wish he were here to give me some guidance. 

The closest figure to a dad I had was Johnny Lawrence, for a while at least. But then he abandoned me and showed his true colors; he doesn't care about me.

At least Sensei Kreese does. Sure, it's more like a grandfather or teacher bond we have, but I know he cares. After helping me at that house, letting me stay here, and teaching me how to become a fighter, I have no doubt he cares. He will never let me lose again.

I notice how cold the dojo is now since the temperature is dropping as we move into winter months. I grab my keys, pocket knife, and slip on my shoes before I walk out to my car and grab a jacket. Damn, it's even colder out here.

I look under my cosmetic bag for a sweatshirt. Everything gets jostled around when I drive, so it ends up burying important things. I reach my hand under some stuff and I finally feel thick cloth, pulling whatever it is out.

I frown when I see a sweatshirt I stole from Hawk. I forgot I even had it. It's black with a red Marvel logo in the top middle. I think Eli originally bought it before Hawk went into his anti-Marvel phase, leaving me to steal it from him. 

I smile a little at the memory of us watching Marvel movies together. I remember how we would cuddle and all of my worries would just disappear when I was safe in his arms.

I lock my car and bring the hoodie back into the dojo with me. I sniff it, faintly smelling his scent still on the cloth. I melt into myself and slip it over my head, trying to get warm. I can embrace the memories to remind myself how strong I am now.

I can be stronger than I was at the Halloween dance when I dressed up as Black Widow. I can be stronger than I was when Hawk consoled me when my mom kicked me out and when I moved out. I can be stronger than when he broke up with me. I can be stronger than when I collapsed in tears beside Miguel when I didn't save him from falling. I can be stronger than when that man took advantage of me. I can be stronger than anyone knows.

I then move to the back of the dojo and warm up my body by doing some cardio before I stretch out and then practice. I'm not going back to sleep.

⭒⭒⭒

I sit in the parking lot, anxious to enter school. I can't face him.

It's Monday, which means Miguel is back in school. Everyone has planned a big celebration for his return. I don't know what to do, what to say. He probably hates me for not coming to see him. I don't blame him.

I don't care what Robby says. I was one of the reasons he got hurt in the first place. I'm a mess and Miguel shouldn't be around me. And on top of that, he's still with Johnny. I need to give him his space so I don't ruin his life again.

I sit on my bed, staring at the wall. I feel like the world has collapsed on me. Why am I even existing? There's no way he's gone. It doesn't feel real.

"Zion! Clean up your fucking dishes!" my mom screams from downstairs up to my room.

Dishes. She's worried about dishes. My dad is dead. And she's worried about dishes.

"ZION! Come clean these NOW!" she yells.

I know she's mad. I know I may get hit again. I know I need to get up and load the dishwasher. But I can't force myself to move. 

He's dead. He's gone. Forever.

I'll never see his smile again. I'll never hear his laugh again. I'll never feel his warm, embracing hug whenever something went wrong again. I'll never have my dad to care about me again.

Everyone has tried reaching out to me through texts and calls, but none of it can help bring him back. I even send Jess to voicemail. I can't function enough to do anything.

"ZION!!!" my mom screams and I hear her stomp up the stairs to my room.

Out of peripheral vision I notice her watching me on my bed and I don't even turn my head. I don't move. I can't.

"Get off your ass and clean the dishes," she says. 

I want to cry. I want to break down from stress. I want to curl into a hole and have the world disappear. Instead I do nothing.

"Zion, I won't tell you again. There are things expected of you in this house," my mom says sternly. She's living life like it's normal.

"It's been two days," I say softly. "You haven't stopped cleaning and yelling at me for two days."

"Life goes on. We need to be ready for open houses. There's no way for me to pay our mortgage without Andrew's paychecks. We're almost out of money. Get off your ass and help out," she says with no sympathy in her voice.

"Why aren't you grieving?" I squeak out to ask her.

"You're being overdramatic," she says and it infuriates me.

"HE'S DEAD!" I scream and stand up and get right in her face. "Can't you just accept that and stop being so mean to me?! HE'S GONE AND HE ISN'T COMING BACK."

A harsh slap comes to my cheek, "You listen here, young lady. You do not use that tone with me."

My body is shaking now. Each hit is just as bad as the last; it never gets easier.

"You're the one who killed your father. You wanted to talk to him and stress him out. You wanted to be in the hospital with him. You wanted to go out with friends and bring back germs to make him sick. You're the reason, Zion."

I feel my body wanting to collapse. A few tears escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

"Always so dramatic, making me the bad guy," my mom says in irritation. "I want the dishes cleaned. Now." 

I look up at her to see she is dead serious. I find a little control over my body and walk past her to the kitchen. It's the least I can do.

I grab the sponge and knock the food off some of the plates before setting them in the dishwasher. 

A few minutes later, a hand lands on my shoulder and I jump around to see my mom standing behind me with a sad look on her face.

"I'm sorry for earlier," she says. I smell the alcohol coating her breath and nod slightly in fear. "Do you forgive me?"

I tense and tell her what she wants to hear, "Yeah, I forgive you."

"Good," she pulls me in for a hug and I unsurely hug her back, not sure what this means. "I love you, lion," she uses her nickname for me and I cringe internally. "It's... It's hard to grieve your husband a-and you wouldn't know anything about that. I'm sorry for taking it out on you. It won't happen again."

She said that last time.

"I know," I lie and she pulls out of the hug with a smile before walking away.

I won't ruin Miguel's life like I ruined my dad's. He deserves better than me ruining his life again.

I walk into school anxiously. I thought it was a bad topic to bring up with Tory, so I haven't talked it out with anyone. Not that I need to. I'll just avoid Miguel. Maybe I can find some of the other Cobras and ignore him.

I make it through security and see a banner hung up that says:

Welcome Back, Miguel!

I walk through the crowd of people waiting for Miguel to arrive - like he's a celebrity - and go to my locker. I grab my things and walk down the hallway absentmindedly, my head down to avoid seeing Miguel.

"Ow!" a voice says when I bump into someone. I look up to see Demetri clutching his cast and looking at me in a panic.

I glance down at his cast and smirk, still slightly glad for karma after all he's done. Then, I see Counselor Blatt behind him, watching the halls. I can't do anything that can get me in trouble.

"Watch where you're going, bitch," is all I can say with a glare as I continue walking, despite it being my fault for running into him. I can't hurt him here, so I have to fight smart and walk by as if everything is fine. I have to at least pretend I'm strong and stable.

The first bell rings and I head to class, sitting in my spot and ignoring my desk partner. Jenna really isn't coming back to sit with me or forgive me and I blame Hawk.

"Pick anywhere you'd like," I hear the teacher say and look over to see Miguel at the front of the class.

Miguel.

Standing.

Perfectly healthy.

So close to me.

I put my head down as I see him walk to a spot on the other side of the classroom, closer to Hawk. I'm so glad he can walk again.

"Today we're working on cellular respiration and photosynthesis," Mr. Palmer says. "Good to have you back, Miguel. We'll make sure to catch you up."

If Janice weren't hanging over my head, I wouldn't be here right now. I'd be anywhere else but here.

⭒⭒⭒

The bell for the end of class rings and I jump up as quickly as I can, rushing out of class before Miguel can notice me. I'm scared he already did. I can't face him.

I make it to my next period and make sure to find a spot Miguel can sit nowhere near. Then, I put my head down in hopes of him not noticing me. I forget exactly how many periods we have together, but I can't keep this up all day everyday. What am I going to do?

He makes it to a seat and I relax when I see it isn't by me. But he's so close, so real.

I miss him, but I have to let him go. All that waits is losing him again. I can't lose my best friend again.

⭒⭒⭒

The bell rings at the end of class and I stand up to leave as fast as I can.

"Z," a voice says and I know it's Miguel.

No, I can't ruin his life again. I didn't save him. I rush out of class and to lunch, ignoring the boy I used to see everyday and talk to about everything.

I make it into the cafeteria and to our table, not even wanting to eat. I'm too anxious from the day.

"No food today, Z?" Rickenberger observes and the table turns to me. Rickenberger is the only one who has directly talked to me after Friday's events. 

"Not hungry," I say and see Hawk looking at me with a look of concern. I don't need him to worry about me.

I glance over my shoulder to see the basketball team at their table together. Walker has his arm in a sling, a badly bruised face, and what appears to be a broken nose. His friends point to me and Walker glances at me in fear. I smirk slightly and that's enough to have them turn around, a little freaked out.

I've heard the rumors about me, about us. Cobra Kai is one of the karate cults here. I'm a psycho bitch, a slut, but somehow people still respect me... or fear me. Either way, I'll take it. I'm no longer bothered or harassed.

I focus back on the table of boys; I've felt the shift in them ever since I beat up Walker, but like I said, they're not my friends. I don't really have friends anymore. Kindness and friendship and love are weaknesses. Other people's fear is a strength.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything?" Hawk snaps me back to the present. He offers his PB&J my way. 

I shoot a glare in his direction, "I'm fine."

I see Hawk nod cockily and look away, trying to hide the embarrassment of me snapping at him. I feel kind of badly, but I know I need to keep my guard up at all times.

"Incoming," Big Red says.

"Look at that sad face," Rickenberger whispers and I glance up to see Assface coming to sit with us.

Hawk props his foot up on an empty chair, "Sorry. Party's full." I smirk a little at this interaction; I never really liked Assface.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" he asks in confusion.

"At the reject's table," Hawk says. "Over there."

I glance over to see Bert and some other kid sitting alone. Assface's expression falls at the realization and I find myself sympathizing with him for a moment. I wouldn't like to be kicked out of Cobra Kai. 

But I earned my spot here and I am the new champion. A true Cobra feels no sympathy for its meals and if this is how I get to the top, so be it.

"What a loser," one of the guys says. They laugh as Assface walks away. 

Then, I see Miguel walk in and Hawk stands up, "Oh, hey, man." Miguel doesn't look happy. 

"I'll catch up with you later," I say to the Cobras sitting down and grab my things, rushing towards the other door of the cafeteria in a hurry.

"Hey, guys," I hear a voice announce as I make it to the door. I look behind me to see Kyler holding up Demetri's cast. "Check this guy out. Standing around with a dick in his hand."

I see that Kyler has drawn a dick in Sharpie on Demetri's cast, leaving him humiliated by this stupid prank. I can't believe this guy is in Cobra Kai. Regardless, the cafeteria bursts into laughter and I roll my eyes at the idiocy. 

Demetri walks out the door beside me and makes a point to be far away from bumping into me; he's actually scared. I look over at Kyler, wondering if I'm becoming the thing I joined Cobra Kai to avoid.

No. Kyler and I are on different levels. I'm a champion at Cobra Kai. I made Kyler cower three days ago. Just because I hate him doesn't mean I like Demetri any more. They're both awful in their own ways.

I continue my mission of getting out of the cafeteria and away from Miguel. I walk out the door and down the hallway.

"Z, hey," someone calls out as I walk through the halls to the library.

I freeze when I see Miguel is right there. I thought I just left him in the cafeteria. I panic and turn away.

"Please, can we talk?"

I frown, knowing I can't avoid him forever. I also know that I need to keep my guard up. I like Miguel, but the people he's surrounded himself with aren't good: Johnny, Sam, and who knows who else?

I nod and we move to the side of the hallway to talk. I can't even look at him. I'm too guilty after everything. It's been about two months since we last talked. How do you even start a conversation after that?

"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asks and I feel the pain in my heart at his words. They're so direct and so true.

"I-I don't know," I look down at my shoes.

"You... don't know?" he repeats and I nod. "Why didn't you come to see me?" I realize now Hawk wasn't exaggerating when he said Miguel missed me.

I've missed him, too. So much.

"Um..." I try to think of something to say. 

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks me and I shake my head, not able to think of anything besides what he did to Tory.

I was the one who did something wrong when I didn't stop Robby and Miguel from fighting. I don't care what Robby said; it was my fault, too.

"Then... what's been going on with you? You cut your hair, Hawk says you've started acting different, and now you're bullying Miyagi-Do?"

"We got revenge for what happened to you," I say, not wanting to dwell on the fact that Hawk has noticed a change in me. He's been thinking about me?

Miguel's stance shifts, "So, watching Demetri getting his arm broken is the way to fix what happened? And you gave him a black eye?"

"Demetri deserved it," I argue. "And, that was a while ago?"

"Deserved it for what, Z? I don't care about revenge. I care about our friendship." I try to stay calm. "None of this is what our sensei taught us."

"Who? Johnny?" I ask and Miguel nods. "He isn't my sensei anymore and I can't believe you went back to him after what happened."

"Sensei Lawrence owned up to his mistakes and helped my recovery," Miguel argues.

"He's the reason you showed mercy and ended up in a coma in the first place," I argue. "You weren't prepared for that fight because he gave up."

"He has a new dojo and wants to make things right," he tells me. "I forgave him."

I remember what Robby told me two summers ago about his dad being a piece of shit. When I met Johnny, I had no idea and really liked him. Then, I found out the connection between him and Robby and everything changed. I could see clearer when I put two and two together.

He was nice to me and said he was in my corner before encouraging Miguel to show mercy; then, he ended up in coma. After my best friend suffered from a potentially fatal injury, my sensei was nowhere to be found. He wasn't there for Robby, either, but instead was by Miguel's side. And for how long? He isn't dependable and he's a terrible father.

"Maybe I don't want his help or his new dojo."

Miguel stares at me in confusion, "Z, this isn't you. Look at me." Our eyes connect. "Kreese has gotten into your head. He looks at life in a messed up way and he lies. He's made you and our friends a bunch of bullies."

I wince at that statement and glance down at my fallen angel tattoo.

"But you can fix it. Think of all the good Sensei Lawrence did for you. Come to the new dojo and it can be like before."

"Like before?" I ask. Miguel nods eagerly.

Before. When I was weak, when I was dependent on other people, when I almost lost in a street fight due to lack of training, when I had boys taking advantage of me, when I didn't know what I was made of, when I trusted a man and he let me down, when I grew attached too easily, and when I was so fragile that I would constantly fall apart.

"I can't go back," I say firmly.

"Z, I can see you're in pain," Miguel sees right through me. "You can talk to me. I'm always here."

But he wasn't there when I needed him because I let him down first.

"I have to... to get to class."

Miguel's face falls, "Z, come on."

I can't go back to before. I have to be brave and strong and independent. I can't hurt him again.

"It's better this way," I say softly before turning around and fast walking down the hall.

I make it back into class and sit down to work on my homework for tonight and distract myself from everything that just happened. It physically hurts to push Miguel away, but it is better this way. It has to be.

⭒⭒⭒

Before my last period of the day I meet up with some of the guys.

"Hey," I walk up to them and they respond quietly, still intimidated. 

"Where'd you go earlier?" Hawk asks me.

"Why do you care?" I respond. He's talking to me today and it's weird; we usually don't exchange more than a few words. I guess with Miguel being back some of that's changed for him.

"Okay, listen up," a male voice calls and I look down the hallway to see Johnny Lawrence approaching us.

We all turn to him and I tense when I see Miguel behind him. Why is he here and how did he make it past security?

"I screwed up," Johnny begins. "And I'm sorry."

He's apologizing? Really? After everything, he thinks an "I'm sorry" fixes it?

"I made it about me and that's not what a sensei does," he continues. "I took the easy way out," he looks at me. "I gave up."

"We can tell by the way you stopped caring," I speak up and they turn to look at me.

"I didn't stop caring," Johnny argues, sadness in his eyes when he looks at me. "What happened here at this school," he looks down and then to Miguel, "it rocked me to my core. I couldn't look myself in the eye, let alone face all of you."

"Yeah," Hawk says and I look at him proudly, "I guess it makes it easier to tell yourself that. But the truth is, you bailed on us long before that fight happened. You got soft and we paid the price."

I look at the man in front of me trying to get forgiveness after all that's happened. I stand here with my grudge and Robby's pain. I know now what it's like to not have a father, to be abandoned, to have a shitty parent. Out of all the adults I've had come and go this past year - Janice, Johnny, Hawk's mom, Carmen - the only one who stuck by was Sensei Kreese, the one Johnny turned his back on.

Johnny steps forward and right in front of Hawk, "You listen up. When you came into my dojo you were softer than a baby's ass."

I stare in shock, remembering sweet Eli, remembering how naive we were.

"I made you what you are, not Kreese. He doesn't give a shit about you. About any of you."

Sensei Kreese saved me. He kept Adam away. He provides me with shelter and gives me the training I need to survive. If he wasn't there...

"Then why is he helping us?" I ask angrily and Johnny looks at me in shock. "He's done more for us than you have. We needed guidance after you left."

Johnny hesitates a moment at the fact that I'm standing up for his former sensei. "If you wanna keep whining about the past like a bunch of pussies, fine. We can play that game. You wanna stick with Kreese? Go ahead," he makes eye contact with me. "Don't say I didn't warn you when your life ends up in the shitter."

I look around me and see everyone, even Hawk, doubting their choice to be here. The past is what makes us who we are; we aren't pussies for rightfully holding a grudge.

"Or you could sack up and join my dojo," he formally invites us like Miguel said. I can't even look at the boy right now. 

"How do we know we can trust you? You're not dependable. You've shown that time and time again," I say with venom in my voice, thinking about me, the fight, and Robby. 

"All right, you listen here," Johnny steps forward and towers over me like he did with Hawk, but I'm not intimidated in the slightest. He talks quickly and angrily, "I'm not perfect, but I'm owning up to my mistakes. My Cobra Kai was there to teach you not to be a pussy and for you to get away from your mom and if you want to have a sob story about it, then okay. Live in the past. Refuse to move forward."

I tense, "Do. Not. Talk. About my mom."

I see Johnny's face instantly fall in regret, "Shit, I didn't mean it like that-"

"All that bullshit about being there for us and understanding parents really was just an act, huh?" I say dryly.

"Z," Miguel interrupts softly and Johnny puts his hand up to Miguel as he steps away from me.

"You think I don't care about you anymore, but I do. That's why I'm here," he says. "Havenhurst and Magnolia, tomorrow at four." I see the Cobras conflicted at this announcement. "If you wanna save yourselves and train the right way, you better be there."  

Johnny walks down the hall, leaving us all stunned,

"And don't be late!" He shoves some books out of a boy's hand, "Sorry, kid. Old habit." I hope security catches him.

I see Miguel wearing a small smile before he turns to me. "Z, he has good intentions-"

"I'm sure he does. Let me know how that works out for you."

I look at the Cobras beside me and see Hawk looking at me in concern. I shake my head and walk down the hallway, embarrassed after I almost froze at the mention of Janice. I have to get to my next class and hopefully forget all of this.

How dare he bring up my mom like he knows anything about what it was like living with her. How dare he try to be the good guy. How dare he try to take Cobra Kai away from us. It's all I have left.

Hawk and the other Cobras seem on the fence about it and I'm worried. I don't want Hawk to leave, even if we don't interact. And another person gone could lead to Tory leaving and then what?

Part of me knows Miguel should stay away, but at the same time Cobra Kai could help him. He was a great fighter and Sensei Kreese is much better than Johnny; I just wish Miguel would realize the kind of person he's training with and trusting.

⭒⭒⭒

I make my way through the hallways to get out of school and straight to work. I walk a few paces behind some of the Cobras and I notice Kyler is leading them. I roll my eyes that they're following Kyler.

"Later, geek," I hear Kyler say and he slaps the back of someone's head as he walks by them on the ground.

The others laugh and I see Demetri is the one they're picking on. Kyler makes a disgusting motion with his hand and taunts Demetri as he walks away. 

"Assholes," I hear Demetri mutter.

I walk beside him and out to the parking lot, pretending I don't care. But it bothers me for some reason.

"Let me ask you: What is the best superpower anyone could ever have?" Demetri questions.

"Super strength," Miguel says.

"Wrong! Invisibility," Demetri corrects.

"Natasha didn't even need powers," I counter.

"She's badass," Eli whispers and I give him a smile of gratitude.

"No, no, no. A distant second would be super speed to run away fast," Demetri says.

"Run away from who?" Kyler is suddenly over here with his hand on Eli's shoulder and it makes us all uncomfortable.

Miguel called me a bully and up until now I've believed that what I'm doing is how you handle the real world. But Kyler is in Cobra Kai and he treats Demetri as badly as I do. That's not me.

But, if I think about it, Hawk is okay with this happening and he was best friends with Demetri forever. If he's okay with it, then I guess I am, too, although I also wouldn't mind beating up Kyler if given the opportunity.

It's not enough to ever make me leave, though. I need karate and Cobra Kai is the only dojo I trust. Miguel has been gone for so long that he has no idea what my world looks like. My sensei is great and would never let me lose. He wouldn't be weak and have to beg for forgiveness. What I'm learning there is right.

Demetri quit Cobra Kai before he even really started. It's on him for not taking the initiative and handling the real world correctly. It's on him for having a shit personality. That isn't my fault.

"Z," Hawk comes over to me in the parking lot and surprises me.

"What?" I ask curtly.

"Do you have to be so rude to me all the time?" he asks and I look to the side in embarrassment. He isn't my enemy. I hate his actions, but I know that I don't hate him. "After what happened today you seemed upset. He brought up Janice and I know it's a sore spot, so-"

"Just forget it ever happened. I'm fine," I lie.

"Um, okay," he says. "You're not staying with her now, are you?"

"No," I say, wondering why he asks.

"Good," he nods awkwardly. "Where have you been staying?"

I ignore the question and unlock my car, "If that's all you had to ask me, I should get to work."

"One last thing," he says and I turn to him with a sigh. "You really aren't wanting to join the new dojo?"

I stare at him in shock, "No... You are?"

"No, I-I was just wondering why you didn't want to," he says. I can see through his lies; I hope I'm a better liar than he is.

"I could go on and on, but long story short I think Sensei Kreese is better than Johnny," I say. 

"Oh, yeah, yeah, me too," Hawk nods. I feel a part of myself break when I realize the motivation behind the question.

"You really are considering switching dojos, aren't you?" I ask and spin my ring around my finger as Hawk hesitates.

"Wouldn't it be nice to be in a dojo with Miguel again? And... away from Kyler?" he asks.

"So, you're letting the former bully you scared the shit out of three days ago draw you away?" I point out.

"But what about Miguel?" he asks.

"He made his choice," I frown.

"And you made yours?" he asks.

"Yeah. Have you?" I question. 

"Sure did," he says after a moment. "I'm not leaving Cobra Kai after Sensei Lawrence taught us how to lose. I'm not leaving you."

We both stare at each other in momentary panic after he says that.

"No, no, no, I meant... 'you' as in all of you..." he backtracks. "I meant everyone at Cobra Kai as a whole. Tory and you and stuff... You know, Cobra Kai for life." He tries to play it off and I just stare in shock. 

"Right." Awkward silence. "Well, I'm telling Sensei Kreese about what happened today later in class," I change the topic. "They can't just get away with trying to take our students like Miyagi-Do did. We're going to fight back."

"Yeah, good plan," Hawk smirks. 

"I know," I say and find myself sharing a smile with Hawk. I have to stop. "Okay, I have to get to work. See you later."

"See you," he walks over to the other guys with their motorcycles and I feel a bit glad that he's staying and we're talking again. I just have to be careful. 

⭒⭒⭒

I'm back in the mirror room, only this time I can see myself, but somehow it's worse. In each one of the mirrors I have a different appearance. Young me, pre-teen me, and even teenage me. All at once something feels wrong. This must be a dream. It has to be.

I step forward to the most familiar Zion - the one that looks like me last I saw. The one with short brown and blonde hair, with youthful skin, and who stands about sixty-five inches tall. She blinks when I blink and moves her limbs as I do, but she feels nothing like me.

"What's going on?" I ask, glad my voice finally works. She mimics my mouth's movement as my voice echoes throughout the room of mirrors.

I wait a second, but no response comes.

"Is this not what you want, Zion?" a feminine voice comes from somewhere, but I am unsure of where. I look around for a person or a speaker, but find no such luck. Instead, I see all the versions of myself in the mirrors mimicking my movements.

I see a version of myself with purple hair like when I "flipped the script," a version with long brown hair from the summer before I moved, and a version with my platinum blonde hair; I'm off-put by the sight. Why are there so many different versions of me?

"Why is this something I want?" I ask.

"To see yourself. To see the true you," the mysterious voice says.

"The true me?" I ask, wondering how all of these depictions of me could all be real and reflect me.

"Or, we could try something..." she pauses and the lights shut off, "different."

The lights come back on and I see the mirrors are still here, but now instead of my reflection... I see people I know frozen like statues behind the glass.

"What... What..." I look around. Hawk, Robby, Miguel, Jess, Sensei Kreese, Jenna, Demetri, Tory, and Janice.

"All of them reflect you," the voice says. "They impacted you and you impacted them one way or another. Why don't you go see for yourself?"

I look around the room and anxiously reach to toy with my ring, not wanting to move. Then, I realize the ring isn't there. My snake ring is gone. The pressure rises in my chest.

"You don't care about me," the Miguel statue comes to life from behind the glass and scares me. "You forgot about me, so now you have nothing to remember me by."

"I do care. I left you alone for your own good," I argue. "Where did my ring go?"

"Doesn't matter. You abandoned him," the feminine voice says. "Why don't you go visit Hawk?"

I walk over to the frozen Hawk figure and it comes to life, "You didn't love me enough. You had to lie and be deceitful. You cut me off."

"You hurt me. You're no better than Kyler or Janice," Demetri moves and I jump.

"This is all your fault," Janice says.

"You used me," Tory says.

"You'll never be good enough," Sensei Kreese says.

The voices begin to overlap and overwhelm me. Eventually, everyone comes to life and I listen to all the bad things about myself.

"You stressed him out. You made him worse."

"You couldn't even tell me."

"This isn't what your dad would've wanted."

"How could you do this to me?"

"You left me alone."

⭒⭒⭒

I wake up in a panic again and try to catch my breath as I jump around the dojo to shake it out. I have to continue to save my money after the expensive Friday night I had with Tory, so that means I can't waste it on beer or melatonin or anything else. It's awful because these bad dreams just won't stop.

I don't really remember my dream, so interpreting it is pretty hard. All I know is that I wake up hating myself. I sigh and try to think of an alternative way to calm down that isn't alcohol. 

I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts. I find myself looking at the number for Miguel, something I've done countless times these past few months. But I never press call.

I never will. I guess I'd rather keep to myself than have emotional ties that are guaranteed to eventually hurt everyone involved.

Tomorrow we crash Johnny Lawrence's new dojo. Sensei Kreese wants to get him back. I just want to get back at him.

⭒⭒⭒

I finish blowdrying my hair the next day after school and turn to the mirror to see what I've done. I smile excitedly at how the color set.

I was worried it would be too red and similar to Hawk, but the purple blended well to make it the red wine color I wanted. 

The red reflects some of the colors of Cobra Kai; it only further emphasizes the idea of "Cobra Kai for life." Maybe this will get the idea through Johnny's head.

⭒⭒⭒

I make it to the park and Tory notices me first. She rushes over, "Woah, your new hair is badass!" She takes some of it in her hand and plays with it. I gently push her away and she apologizes with a smile, "Sorry, it just looks so pretty."

"Looking good, Z," Rickenberger says and we exchange a small smile. It's nice that he isn't super intimidated by me because even though I like it, I still have a sense of something normal here.

"Nice color choice. Were you trying to copy me?" Hawk walks over with an arrogant smirk.

"Don't flatter yourself," I roll my eyes.

"I'm just saying, it was bold of you to choose red," he says. I sense the playfulness in his voice and play along.

"Oh, please. You're just jealous that I look awesome and you look like a rooster," I flip it to the side, returning the smirk.

He laughs, not taking me too seriously, which causes me to smile. I've missed his laugh. I've missed this.

"Z, I need to talk to you," suddenly Tory comes over and grabs my arm and pulls me away from Hawk.

I awkwardly nod goodbye to Hawk before walking away with Tory. "What?"

"You're welcome," Tory states.

"For what?" I ask in confusion.

"For saving you from falling back into Hawk's trap," she says like it's obvious.

"Ohhh. Right, right, thank you," I say in appreciation, unsure if I wanted her to save me. It was... nice to talk to him again.

"He's bad news, you know," she says as I subconsciously play with my snake ring. "I thought Friday night was about us getting over our exes?"

I look around and relax when I see nobody is near us, "I thought it was a little more than that." I smirk as she blushes. "Don't worry. I'm letting go of Hawk."

"Good."

I think about our formation for the day to get my mind off of it. I'll walk over first with Hawk and two others. Right after us will be Tory and Kyler and then the rest lead by Sensei Kreese. 

"Are you gonna be okay?" I whisper to Tory, knowing seeing Miguel will be hard on her.

"Yeah. I feel better about it now," she nods with a small smile that we share. I think she's alluding to her time with me getting her over it and I almost laugh; it was so weird but so great. "Will you be all right?"

"Always am," I assure her and move back to my spot by Hawk.

"We should go any minute now," he tells me and I nod.

It's weird being beside him after what he did to Brucks. It was so violent, but I guess he feels the same way after what I did to Walker. He told Miguel I've been acting different and I wonder what he meant by that. Different in a bad way? He's the one who's transformed into an asshole.

"Let's go," Hawk says after another moment and the four of us walk out from behind a large section of trees to see Johnny Lawrence warming up his dojo of kids in red shirts.

Among them I see Miguel, Bert, Keanu Reeves, and the other rejects. I also see they're wearing shirts with an eagle on them that says:

Eagle Fang Karate.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. Eagles don't even have fangs.

"All right, everybody," Johnny smiles, "looks like our class just got a little bigger. Make room."

Miguel is smiling at us and I look away, feeling a bit guilty. I keep my focus on Johnny. I'm doing this for a lot of reasons and what I'm doing is the right choice. 

I see Johnny's face fall and I turn back to see Kyler and Tory join us. I give a glare to Johnny and he meets it with eyes full of betrayal and confusion. His former students are going against him, but he caused this. It's in his nature to be unreliable and weak. That's what Robby always told me and now I see it's true.

Sensei Kreese walks out with the rest of our students and Johnny hangs his head.

"I told you, Cobra Kai for life," Hawk smirks.

"Mercy," I make eye contact with Johnny again, "is a weakness."

Sensei Kreese walks between Hawk and I, setting his hands on our shoulders proudly. I try not to let the contact bother me. I trust my sensei.

He walks closer to Johnny, "Don't worry, Johnny. I'm not here for a fight."

"Yeah? Then why the hell are you here?" Johnny asks.

"I'd like to make you another offer to come back to Cobra Kai where you belong," Sensei Kreese says and I keep my irritation to myself. We're better off without him.

"You're crazy if you think I'm ever teaming up with you again," Johnny says. Good. We don't need him. "The garbage you're feeding them, the shit they're pulling," he looks past Kreese and out to us, "it's messed up." He looks back at his former sensei, "And you're to blame for that."

My blood boils when he says that and Sensei Kreese speaks up before I can, "I have to disagree with you there. I care about my students. They're strong and they're true fighters. And they wouldn't make the mistake of showing mercy and ending up in a coma!"

Miguel steps to Kreese and I immediately move beside my sensei, now threatening Johnny. This is how it has to be. I don't want to fight Miguel, but I will fight Johnny. Sensei Kreese stops me with his hand and I look at him, wondering what his next move is. He gently pushes me back and I feel a hand grab mine. 

I see Hawk's hand gently gripping mine and bringing me back. I know he's just as mad as I am, but he has an attachment to Miguel, the one I've worked to get rid of. I thought Miguel was dead and accepted it, but Hawk still has hope. A weakness.

Still, I move back beside Hawk and after a moment, he drops his hand first. I didn't grab it back, but I didn't let go. I guess even after the night with Tory I'm torn about Hawk. He's such an asshole, though. It's just confusing and irritating.

"This is it, Johnny," Sensei Kreese speaks up and snaps me out of my thoughts. "There's not gonna be another chance."

My former sensei hesitates. Hesitation is a weakness. But then he responds, "Good." I stare in shock. Sensei thought this plan would work. 

"You made your choice," Sensei Kreese says. "And you are gonna regret it."

He put his sunglasses back on and walks away first. Johnny looks at us like he might say something, but instead lets us go. I turn after my sensei first and walk back towards my car, proud of all of us for standing our ground and not leaving for Eagle Fang. 

I'm in Cobra Kai for life. Pushing Miguel away is the best choice for all of us. I just don't want him to get hurt by Johnny again.

"Whew! That was intense," Kyler laughs with some of the other Cobras. I see Hawk watching with a look of resentment; I feel the same way.

"Hey," I walk closer to him and he turns to me in surprise, "we did the right thing for us. You know that, right?"

He smiles a little, "Yeah. I know."

We look into each other's eyes for a few seconds, a good moment falling upon us. This keeps happening after we fight; we can never seem to stay apart. It's dangerous.

"That is some dope hair," Kyler says and I turn to see him looking at me. I notice Hawk tense and I step towards Kyler and some of the others around him, causing them to back away.

"What makes you think you can talk to me?" I assert my dominance once again and he cowers, looking down.

"I-I just thought... since we're on the same team... ya' know..." he stutters.

"We're not friends. I don't like you, Kyler," I say and step even closer, my voice low and threatening. "I will never like you and you'd better stay in your lane and out of my way. Got it?"

"Got it," Kyler says and I see the others around him scared. They remember how Walker looked after our fight. They remember how I didn't show weakness, I didn't hesitate, I didn't lose.

"Good," I nod and stand there just a second longer for dramatic effect before turning around to walk away.

I see Hawk smiling at me, "That was exciting to watch."

"Yeah, he'd better leave us alone," I nod in agreement. "I have zero tolerance for his shit."

"I'm glad we agree on that," he smirks.

"Me, too," I smile softly and a nice silence falls over us.

Hawk's eyes connect with mine and I wonder if he feels the same way I do... unsure of the consequences, but in love with the feeling.

"Hawk, you ready to go?" Big Red comes over and interrupts our... moment? Is this technically a moment?

"Yeah," he nods and then turns to me. "Z, we're going over to the dog park to see what fun we can have there. Do you wanna come with?"

I'm taken aback at the invite and then see Big Red staring between us in confusion. I look at my phone, "I'd better get to work." Hawk nods and I add, "I'll see you later, though."

Hawk nods and turns away with Big Red, leaving me alone and unsure again. 

"You two are confusing," I hear Mikey say as they stand in a circle behind me. He has a point.

I head towards the parking lot, but not before I glance back at the boy with the red mohawk only to see him staring back at me.

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: Oh, the irony of this chapter. I think it's my favorite so far, though.

Also, Robby is released from juvie in the next episode, so there will be Zobby content. I'm trying to find some way to throw Hawk into the mix, too.

Okay, do we have Zion and Eli/Hawk ship names? Zawk lmao? I kind of like Elion? I don't know haha.

I came up with the rooster idea at 3am one night and now I can't unsee it lmao. Idek what this is, but I hope it makes you laugh: