Chapter Forty-Three: Rumors II

"I know you're lying through your teeth. You told them the lies that you told me. I've had enough of it this time."

~Lie, Lie, Lie by Joshua Bassett~

⭒⭒⭒

Revised: August 25, 2022

Warnings: abuse, addiction, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, langubage, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, and other mature themes

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

Hawk to Cobra Kai: We're meeting up at Golf 'N Stuff in an hour. Anybody wanna join?

I see the text to our group chat near the end of my shift, sneaking on my phone since we're pretty slow right now. I don't want to go to Golf 'N Stuff with my ex. It's weird even being in a group chat with him.

Tory to Zion: hey did you wanna go with everyone and have some fun for a change?

Tory to Zion: i get off work in 30 if you wanna meet up there late

I smile at the gesture, glad Tory has my back. It'll be much less awkward having her there to talk to since I don't talk to Hawk or any of his close friends. I think some of them either tolerate me or are scared of me, but I'd rather that than have them be too comfortable.

Zion to Tory: Yeah, want me to pick you up from the roller rink after my shift ends in 15?

Tory to Zion: actually I'm working at that sushi place tonight

Tory to Zion: sounds good tho:)

Tory to Zion: i'll text you the address

"Hey," Emilie, my co-worker, turns to me. "No phones, remember?"

"Amy isn't here," I tell her, reminding her our boss is nowhere around. Emilie can be so annoying because she has to be perfect. It's Subway, not Buckingham Palace.

"Z, it's integrity," Emilie says and I roll my eyes, putting my phone into my back pocket.

"It's integrity," I mock under my breath, sure she can't hear me. I stare at the door, hoping for a customer for something to do.

My phone vibrates and I see Emilie looking away, so I pull it out and see the group chat is blowing up.

Tory to Cobra Kai: z and i are coming after work

Rickenberger to Cobra Kai: I'll be there do we have beer

Assface to Cobra Kai: Got some in my backpack bro

Big Red to Cobra Kai: I'll be late to

"Z, what did I just say about your phone?" Emilie asks in a shrill tone, low-key making me jump. She's the type of girl who would go to a BLM protest, take a selfie, leave, and say she helped.

"It doesn't matter," I say. "Nobody is here."

"Fine, but you get in trouble if Amy sees," Emilie says in a snobby way.

"Someone has their panties way too far up their ass," I mutter, not getting off of my phone.

"What did you just say?" she asks and I realize I was too loud.

"I said your panties are way too far up your ass," I say again and she looks at me angrily.

"Well, you... you..." she fails to come up with a comeback and then turns away in embarrassment. I roll my eyes and open Instagram, mindlessly scrolling to pass the time. Then I think about letting Sensei know I'm coming back late tonight.

Z to Sensei Kreese: I'm going to Golf 'N Stuff with the others tonight, so I'll be back late after work. I'm safe

⭒⭒⭒

"Thanks for picking me up," Tory hops into my car with a smile. She usually takes the bus, I think.

"No problem," I say as we pull out of the parking lot. "How was work?"

"Boring. How was it for you?"

"Boring," I agree with a smile. I'm changed out of my work clothes, just wearing everyday clothes now.

I try to merge onto the interstate, annoyed with the LA traffic. Subway is so close to Tory's work, but Golf 'N Stuff is halfway across town. Still, hanging out with Tory and the guys will be fun when we finally don't have to do karate or be in school.

Tory unbuttons her red work shirt and settles for just a low hanging tank top and I have to force myself to focus on the road. She's so pretty; it's only natural. The difference is I can control myself.

"Can we turn on some music?" she asks.

"Sure," I say and she finds the radio, turning it to a pop station. 

We sing Madonna's Like A Virgin very off-key through our laughter. I look at her with a smirk and then realize how long she looks at me for. I try to focus on driving again, but it's so refreshing just being a teenager for the first time in a long time.

A while later, I pull into Golf 'N Stuff and Tory and I are quietly singing the words to Havana.

"Do we know where we're meeting up specifically?" I ask Tory.

"No idea. If we look around enough we'll find them."

I get out of the car and walk to the entrance and a bittersweet feeling rushes over me. This is where Hawk and I had our first official date. I miss the innocence of one year ago. Everything was less complicated. Miguel was here, Aisha was here, the rivalry wasn't even on our radar, and now... everything's changed.

Zion to group: Where are you guys?

"Hey," we turn around to see Big Red and Elijah coming towards us.

"Hey, where is everyone?" I ask.

"They said they're next door at the old laser tag place," Big Red says.

"I saw some Miyagi-Dos headed that way, though," Elijah explains. Uh oh.

"Was Sam with them?" Tory asks. I know where this is headed.

"I think so," Big Red says.

Before I have time to react, Tory pushes by me and walks towards the laser tag place. I immediately follow her to back her up, even though I really didn't want to fight tonight. The real world doesn't give you a break. I should know this.

We walk through the laser tag place, the guys following Tory and I. It's about to go down and honestly, I wouldn't mind hurting Sam. Or even better, Demetri, if he's there.

We make it to where we hear people and I walk in beside Tory, seeing some of the chaos ensuing of Miyagi-Do fighting Cobra Kai.

"Sam LaRusso!" Tory yells in the arena.

"Where are you, bitch?" I yell with a smirk.

Tory and I look at each other and walk around the place that is glowing with colored lights together. I want to find either Sam or Demetri. I hate her for what she did to Robby. And you bet your ass I'm not showing mercy. Too much has happened to stop fighting now.

We come across a Miyagi-Do student and he panics, trying to fight both of us. Tory throws a punch and he fails to block it. I move behind him and Tory and I nod at each other.

I throw a high tornado kick to his face and she spin kicks his feet, sending him flying in the air before landing roughly on his back.

"Shit, that was awesome," I laugh.

"Show yourself, LaRusso," Tory says. I look for her like an apex predator in the wild.

We walk around and see Rickenberger and Assface beating up Chris on the ground, but I still don't see my targets. I round a corner and then see Demetri. Versus Hawk.

Hawk takes Demetri's arm and body slams him onto the ground, pinning him. I stare in shock, not thinking Hawk had it in him. He pins him and holds his arm tightly as Demetri lets out a cry for help. He looks up and sees me, terror evident on his face.

It makes me feel powerful that Cobra Kai is feared, that I'm feared.

Hawk glances up at me and tightens his grip on Demetri, holding him down. Finally we're getting revenge. The position is similar, though, to something I've seen before.

The video. The video of Robby and Miguel when Miguel had Robby pinned. He could have broken his arm, but instead chose to show mercy and he ended up in a coma. I anxiously watch as the adrenaline pumps through my veins and I hope Hawk doesn't chicken out. I don't want him to show mercy and get hurt, too.

"No! Please, stop! Eli, stop! Stop!" the pale boy pleads from the ground. Is he going to break Demetri's arm?

I have to remember that a true cobra feels no sympathy for it's meal. This is the real world; this is karma.

"Don't do it! No!" Demetri groans in pain and I see a group of Cobra Kais come from the other direction. Demetri looks up at me and our eyes connect a moment, "Help me!"

I look away. His screams of pain remind me of beating up Nathaniel, of me crying out for help at the Hansen's. It's either his pain or mine. And I don't lose.

"Finish him!" Tory yells.

"He deserves this!" I tell Hawk.

The other Cobras join in, calling Demetri a pussy and I see the look of doubt on Hawk's face. If he doesn't do it, then I will. I'm a winner. I'm the next champion.

"No, it's fine. I'll go, I'll go," Demetri pleads. He's the enemy. He's slut-shamed me and gotten me kicked out of Hawk's house, among many other things. He deserves it.

"Hawk, finish him!" Tory says.

"No mercy!"

Then, Hawk does it.

A loud noise of a bone breaking fills the arena and I gasp as the others cheer. This is his karma. All the Miyagi-Dos are getting theirs for being traitors and for what they did to Miguel.

"Ah! Damnit!" he screams in pain.

I watch as Hawk gets up and everyone pats him on the back. I walk beside Demetri and smirk, "Pussy."

I make it over to Tory as Demetri still cries out in pain.

"I know what regret feels like, but you need to let it go."

"Good shit, man," Assface gives Hawk and bro hug and handshake.

Tory smiles at me, "That was a turn of events. I'm not necessarily mad about it, either."

I look back at Demetri and then my eyes land on Hawk. He's hesitating, looking at his former best friend on the ground who is groaning and writhing in pain.

"Z, you good?" Tory asks me and I nod.

"Yeah, yeah. He deserved it for the shit he's said and done," I say and find myself walking over to Hawk. I'm proud of him for going through with it and not giving Demetri the opportunity to win. "You all right?" I wonder.

"This isn't over, LaRusso," Tory yells as she exits.

Hawk looks at me with a look of doubt and guilt before masking it, "Of course I am." I don't know if he truly means it, but it isn't my place to know or care anymore. I nod and turn to walk away and hear Hawk walking behind me, too.

"I can't believe they started that fight and thought they'd win," Rickenberger laughs as we walk out to the parking lot.

I go over to Tory, "Did you want me to drive you home?" I guess our night out is pretty ruined after that fight. We need to get out of here before parents show up, despite them being the ones to start it.

"Hawk, give it to her," Assface says and I turn around to see Hawk talking with the guys and hesitantly walk my way with a cat stuffed animal.

"Hey, I, uh... won you this," Hawk smirks and holds out the plush. It's actually sweet and I try to stop myself from reacting prematurely. "I figured after tonight... maybe you'd reconsider?"

I look at him in confusion, wondering if breaking Demetri's arm was also a way to impress me. I glance behind him to see his friends cheering him on and then I see Mikey holding about six others. Something isn't right here.

"You won this... or you stole this?" I ask. Hawk loses confidence as he tries to cover up his obvious mistake. "Yeah, there are a handful of others over there that I know you couldn't have won that quickly."

"But I got this for you. Isn't that something?" Hawk asks.

"I told you to grow up two or three months ago. Stealing isn't maturity, Hawk. You have to work for what you have and you don't cut corners," I say.

I hated when we stole the money from Miyagi-Do. It went to the same place and all, but I hate that I participated in that and let myself get carried away. I want to be better, to be someone my dad would be proud of, just like Robby said.

"Look at your life, Zion. Is this what your dad would have wanted for you?"

"Does it ever occur to you that I'm trying?" he asks me. "I've been trying to show you how much I've changed, but you're too caught up in your own shit to notice."

"I've had a lot going on," I argue angrily, thinking about the past month alone. "And since when do you fucking care? You didn't care when you tattooed over my name-"

"What am I supposed to do? Keep a tattoo of a 'Z' on my chest for the rest of my life and have my future girlfriends wonder what the fuck it's for?" he asks me. "It's just a tattoo."

"Oh, no. You're right. It's just a tattoo. Just like this," I hold out my wrist. Hawk grabs it tightly, examining the angel.

"You put an angel over my hawk?" he asks in a softer voice.

"What's the big deal? It's not like we're together forever or anything," I say and slide my wrist out of his grip. I can see all the Cobras watching us, but I don't give a fuck.

"Oh, I can tell by the way you throw yourself at Jenna," he says.

"What is your problem? We're broken up! Why can't you just be supportive of my happiness like-" I stop mid-sentence.

I did not almost just say Robby. No. I didn't.

"Like what?" Hawk asks suspiciously.

"I'm just asking you to be supportive of me. You started talking about bulldozing through girls not even a week after our breakup," I say, my voice threatening to crack from how upset I'm getting.

"You were the one talking to Robby WHILE WE WERE DATING," he says.

"Oh my God! And I told you that nothing happened! Robby and I are just friends-"

"Friends don't text each other shit like that," Hawk says, obviously exaggerating in front of everyone.

"Okay." I pull out my phone and go to my messages to Robby, "Show me something that can be considered cheating. Show me." I shove the phone in his hand. I know it's a bold move, but it may get all the horrendous rumors to stop; I can only take so much.

"Psh. I don't need to prove anything to you," he scoffs.

"You can't show me hard evidence because there isn't any!" I yell and yank my phone back. "Everything Robby and I text each other was between friends; you read those messages and deep down you know I'm right, but you still go around and let people call me a slut and a cheater. You let those rumors get out of hand."

He shrugs, "If the shoe fits."

"Be quiet, babygirl. Don't you want to be so good for me?"

I bring my hand back and slap his face. Hard.

Everyone freezes.

My hand stings and Hawk is the first to move, putting his hand to his cheek.

"What the hell?!" he exclaims angrily.

"I should have known you'd be like this, too," I say after a moment, my hands shaking.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I should have known since you and Demetri were best friends that you wouldn't be any different in the way you treat women and I-I was naive to think you were anything better than him," I say.

"What are you talking about? What way? Z, that's not fair. You're the one who slapped me," he says.

I'm just like her. I'm no better than my mom.

"I... I shouldn't have slapped you. I'm sorry," I immediately apologize, crossing my arms and closing myself off from everyone.

"I guess I deserved it," he says softly.

"You did," I mutter. "I just need to know something," I speak up louder. Hawk looks at me. "If I told you I was texting or meeting up with Robby - one hundred percent as a friend - would you have let me?"

Hawk looks down and to the side, tense and silent. This is what I was scared of, but I'm not surprised.

"I know my answer, then," I say and stand awkwardly a moment.

The guys look between us in confusion and awe. My ex-boyfriend doesn't say anything else. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"Okay, show's over," I announce. "Tory, let's go."

I turn away and walk towards my car with Tory staring at me in concern after what just happened.

I unlock the car and get in and she's a few paces behind me. I turn on the car and music fills the awkward silence as I drive her towards her house, trying to stop the tears from even forming.

⭒⭒⭒

"Um, thank you for the ride," Tory says in a soft voice when we pull up to her house.

I nod, not even fully tuned into the world right now. I feel empty without him. Somehow we keep drifting further and further apart. I didn't know there was a step past broken up, but apparently there are many, many steps.

"I'm here if you need anything, Z," Tory offers.

I'll bet she doesn't mean it, but I nod anyway.

"Goodnight," she gets out of the car and once she closes the door I step on the gas.

I make it back to the dojo in record time and grab my school things to do my homework. Hopefully it'll take my mind off of this long, crazy, depressing day.

I walk in and Sensei Kreese walks out with a towel wrapped around his neck; he's been practicing, I assume.

"You're back earlier than I thought," he says.

"Um, Golf 'N Stuff didn't work out the way it was supposed to," is all I offer as I walk by him and to the back room.

"Everything okay?" He follows me.

"We got into a fight," I say. "We won. They started it, we finished it."

"Good... You're not happy?"

"Hawk and I also had a fight," I say. Sensei doesn't respond and I realize how stupid it is to try to discuss my boy problems with him. "But I'm okay. I'm no crier." I can't be.

"You still have homework?" he asks and I nod. "I'll make us some coffee."

He walks out of the back room and I set up my makeshift bed once again, even though I know I won't sleep for longer than five minutes. I grab my biology textbook and look through the pages I have to read and answer questions about.

"Here ya go," Sensei Kreese walks back in and hands me the mug.

"Thank you," I say. He drinks it black like my dad did and I've just gotten used to it now. It's bitter like life.

Suddenly, the bell to the dojo rings. Someone's here.

I exchange a weary look with Sensei and he sets his mug down, "Stay here." He walks out to the main section and I try to listen to what's going on.

"Hello?" a woman's voice echoes. At first I tense, thinking it's my mom. But then I realize it's not and relax. "Is anyone here?"

"We're closed, darling. But if you have a youngster you'd like to put on the list for karate lessons, I'd be happy to help you," Sensei Kreese says.

"Is one of those lessons how to jump a bunch kids and break one of their arms?" the lady counters. Is it Demetri's mom? "'Cause that's what your students did tonight." Sensei had nothing to do with that and she has the facts wrong.

"Did they?" Sensei asks and I move closer to the doorway to listen, keeping myself hidden. "Must've had it coming."

"Like my daughter deserved it when one of your minions attacked her at the high school?" the woman asks. Of course. It's Her Majesty's mom. She went and cried to her perfect mother and she's here to set things right for her princess with her money and privilege.

"Ah. That must make you Mrs. LaRusso," Sensei Kreese says in amusement. "What's the matter? Little Daniel's not man enough to fight his own battles anymore?"

"Hey, Rambo," Mrs. LaRusso interrupts him, "kids are getting hurt. So call of your band of karate thugs or I'm going to the police. Got it?"

I tense at the mention of the authorities. I don't want CPS to come for me and I don't want anything to happen to Sensei Kreese. I peek out now to watch.

"You're a feisty one. But I like that. I like it-"

Sam's mom slaps Sensei Kreese across the face. I stare in shock.

"I don't give a shit what you like," Mrs. LaRusso says.

"How dare you!" I step out of hiding and into the main section of the dojo. Sensei Kreese turns to me with shock on his face, not expecting me or wanting me to come out, but I won't just stand there and watch this go down. "How dare you do that to him."

This is exactly what my mom did and I won't watch another mother do it to people I care about. I already left Ella. And yes, I did slap Hawk tonight, but I feel badly for physically hitting him; that was wrong of me. This is all some pattern and it's freaking me out so much that I cannot stand idly by.

"Who the hell are you?" Mrs. LaRusso turns to me with a condescending tone and I tense at the woman glaring daggers at me.

"One of my students," Sensei Kreese says.

"You're a sociopath," Mrs. LaRusso says to him.

"Did you know your 'perfect' daughter started the fight at the laser tag arena?" I ask. She looks at me a moment, not saying anything. "Maybe don't jump to conclusions next time."

"You broke Demetri's arm," she says.

"That wasn't me." We exchange a cold glare and I'm proud of myself for holding my own. "He deserved it, though."

I can tell she wants to say more to me, but instead she turns back to my sensei. "I'm shutting you down if it's the last thing I do." Then, she walks out.

When she's fully gone, Sensei Kreese turns to me, "Why didn't you stay back there?"

"She needed to know she can't talk to you or abuse you like that," I say. "I wasn't just going to watch that happen and not do anything."

"You could get taken away if they find out about your situation," he says wearily.

"I know. The LaRussos just make me so angry," I explain.

"We go all the way back to the '80s," Sensei Kreese nods.

"All I want is my chance to win against them," I explain.

"You didn't tonight?" my sensei questions me.

"Hawk was the one who broke Demetri's arm," I say, regretting when I admit it. "Sam didn't come out for me or Tory to hurt and my opportunity with Demetri was taken because we showed up late."

"You'll win against them one day," Sensei Kreese tells me.

"I hope so," I nod.

"Well, I'm gonna head over to the police station and get a restraining order on her," he says.

I raise my eyebrows in shock. "On Mrs. LaRusso?"

"She came into my place of business and assaulted me."

"Yeah, I guess she did, but you have to go right now?" I ask, honestly worried about being left alone with just my thoughts.

"The sooner the better," he shrugs. "And I'll just head home right after, okay?"

"Okay, Sensei," I nod.

"Lock the door behind me," he says and I follow him to the door. "Goodnight, child."

"Goodnight, Sensei. Thank you for everything," I say and he nods before walking out and sure enough, I lock the door behind him.

⭒⭒⭒

About an hour later, I feel the silence in the dojo taking over in my head again.

I left Ella alone with that monster. That's on me. Deep down, I must only care about myself. Hawk and I are never getting back together now.

Music isn't enough to keep the bad thoughts away, especially not after the fight with Hawk.

Why can't I just let him go? The only one who wants me is Adam. What if I... No. No.

I'm so weak.

I grab my wallet, pocket knife, and pepper spray and put on my shoes.

I walk out of the dojo to the mini-mart next door; they're open until 3am.

"Hey," the guy who works here greets me. He's actually pretty nice.

I nod at him as I walk towards the refrigerated section. I grab what I need and bring it up to the counter.

"ID?" he asks, obviously very tired. I take my fake ID out of my wallet and show it to him. "Okay." He rings up my total and I pay him with some of my paycheck from last week. "Have a good night."

"You, too," I walk out with the case of beer in hand.

I make it back into the dojo and lock the door once more. I sit in the back room and grab a can as I listen to some song on shuffle. I take a sip and lay back on the mats, desperate to feel something other than heartache.

After about three beers, I'm dancing with myself in the dojo, definitely tipsy, 

"Lick me up, I'm sweet n' salty. Mix it up and down my body. Love to hate me, praise me, shame me. Either way you talk about me!" I sing my heart out horribly off-key and I'm also pretty sure I'm off-beat. "You know I loveda way you talk about me." I slur my words together and laugh. "Look at how farigomme. You make up shit to write about me."

I laugh at myself, the alcohol taking its affect and doing its job. The music keeps playing and I find a tear rolling down my face.

"Uh, oh. Here comes the emotional drunk Jess talks about," I say and keep dancing to distract myself. "I need another beer."

I stumble over and grab one, taking a big sip of it. The taste doesn't even bother me anymore. I look down at my torso, legs, and feet and giggle,

"I am so sexy. No wonder everybody wants to get with this." I chug the majority of the beer in the can. "Wheeeew! Fuck the patriarchy!"

⭒⭒⭒

"Tell me it isn't true."

I close my locker the next day and come face-to-face with an upset Jenna. 

"What?" I ask, having no idea what she's talking about. I have a hangover from last night, but I managed to make a cure to help and Sensei didn't seem to notice - not that I think he'd care.

"You were there when Demetri's arm was broken?" Jenna asks me.

"Oh, well, I-"

"You could have helped, but instead you let it happen? What about you saying you'd only use your karate for self defense?" she asks.

"The Miyagi-Dos started the fight. We finished it," I say and I know I've said the wrong thing now based on Jenna's face. She's hurt. 

"You lied to me. Self defense isn't breaking someone's arm," Jenna says. I'm not in the mood for this.

"But you don't even like Demetri and I wasn't the one who broke it," I argue.

"Staying neutral is taking the side of the oppressor," Jenna tells me. I frown.

"We weren't the initial oppressor. And we're all Cobra Kai. When one of us makes a move, we all do," I state.

"That sounds like a cult," she says and I frown. "Sorry... it's just that... two wrongs don't make a right," Jenna says sadly.

"Who even told you this?" I ask, wondering if Demetri snitched about me again. I'm ready to break a lot more than just his arm.

"Does it matter? I don't need you seeking out revenge," Jenna says; this is the angriest I've seen her. But she's angry like a cute puppy and it makes me feel that much more guilty. This set her off. "You already did with that little boy named Nathaniel."

"You know about that?" I remember how we beat him up after we stole the car wash money. Getting even that way didn't make me feel good, but I won't admit it. Regret is a weakness.

"You lied to me," Jenna says and I look down. "And not just about that. You told me nothing was going on between you and Hawk."

"What? Nothing is going on between me and Hawk," I restate in confusion and she shakes her head.

"You can stop lying. I know you slept with him the other night. I thought you took what we had seriously," she says.

"WHAT?!" I exclaim angrily. "I didn't-"

"I hope you figure out what's going on with you, Z," she interrupts me. "I really do. But we can't hang out anymore. It's just not a good idea."

"But... But I didn't sleep with Hawk?! Who told you that? Jenna, I don't understand. I like you. A lot. A-And what about the football game?" I ask, the world spinning around me as I try to make sense of what's going on.

"I guess we have to call that off, too," she says. I press my lips into a line as she walks away, trying to hold in my tears. I can't lose her like this.

"Jenna," I walk after her and grab her arm.

She jumps at my touch, "Leave me alone, Z. Please." She looks at me with her blue-green eyes that are teary now.

I realize I'm pushing it and need to let her go. So, I do. She's made it pretty clear she doesn't want to be with me.

"O-Okay, sorry," I whisper and walk away from her.

I turn back over my shoulder after a moment to see her red head of hair disappear into the school masses. I can't believe I fucked that up.

"Well, that was entertaining," a voice says from behind me.

I spin around and see Hawk right there.

"What?" I ask, knowing my eyes are glossy with tears that want to fall.

"It's good she got out of it early. Otherwise she'd be even more hurt when you broke her heart, too," Hawk says with venom dripping in his voice.

I see that after last night that he's nowhere close to the boy I knew. The way he stands is different, his tone is different, and even his eyes are different when they meet mine. He's hurt. He's pissed. He's getting his revenge for last night.

"You told her about last night to get her mad at me," I realize and he smirks. "And you... you lied about us sleeping together? Why? Why the hell would you do that?"

"She needed to know what she was getting into," he says. "She had to be aware that you wouldn't take the relationship seriously." 

All the anger I have is turning into sadness now. I can't punch him here, but I don't even know if I want to. I don't know what I want. My emotions are all over the place and now I almost feel numb.

"You're right. I was such a bad girlfriend. I'm such an awful person," I nod, sounding like I mean what I say even though I don't.

Hawk's facial expression changes, "No, I didn't-"

"I was so bad to you," I shrug sarcastically. "All I ever did was degrade you, ignore you, and I never believed in you. Thanks for helping save Jenna from me."

"Z-"

I turn away and walk into the girl's bathroom before he can even respond.

There are three girls in here at the sink, but I don't care. I slam the side of my fist into the concrete wall and scream in anger. It hurts only a little, but scares the girls out of the bathroom. I don't even fucking care. I look at myself in the mirror and breakdown at the sink,

"All I ever did was love you, but all you can remember is what I did wrong."

⭒⭒⭒

At lunch, everything is messed up. Not only did Jenna switch her seat with someone else so I had to sit next to some random boy in biology, but I had to sit through my classes with Hawk after what happened. I never want to see him again.

But, here I am in the cafeteria. I make it to the Cobra Kai table and I see Assface and Mikey and a few others have very distinctly separated to one side of the table while Rickenberger and Elijah and some others are on the other. It's like a divorce happened, which... I guess it did. I just wish I had someone to confide in about all this drama, but I know that distance from Miguel is good and Tory has enough shit to deal with.

I'm here before Hawk, so I sit next to Rickenberger who was always a pretty good friend to me. "Hey," he welcomes me.

"Hi," I put up the facade that I'm fine.

"Here he comes," Assface whispers and I see Hawk approaching the table.

Everyone is quiet and tense as he takes his seat and I see their eyes darting between me and the boy with the red mohawk.

I'm not even hungry, so I'm just sitting here in this awkward situation without eating or talking.

"You don't have to sit here if you're uncomfortable," Assface speaks up and I realize it's directed at me. He is practically Hawk's best friend, so I shouldn't be surprised.

"I'm fine," I say. Hawk isn't even looking up.

"You could go sit with the other cheerleaders to be with some other girls," Mikey suggests and I glance over at the table where Jenna is. Now they're just being cruel.

"Hm. Why don't you go over there, Hawk? Spread some more lies about me?" I ask. My voice is low and quiet. 

Hawk shifts his position but stays silent. I know that the Cobras are unsure of what to think. I can see Edwin's eyes darting between us, torn. I just want to go back to the dojo and curl up into a ball and get the sleep I missed last night.

The table maintains this awkward silence the whole thirty minute lunch period. I go on my phone and pretend I'm texting someone; Tory's working right now. I'm just as much apart of Cobra Kai as these guys and I am not leaving this table.

The bell rings and everyone in the cafeteria gets up to get back to class. I stand up and grab my bag, but speak up before I leave,

"You know what?" They all turn to me and I look at the boy with the mohawk. "For someone who claims I cheated on them, you've been trying really hard to get me back." 

The boys' eyes dart between both of us, worried a fight will happen again. I know I can't do anything here, but he pisses me off so much that I need to humiliate him. I need my revenge, too. I know that, somewhere underneath the tacky red hair dye and bad boy persona, he doesn't actually think I cheated on him. Maybe I can make it through to the sweet, caring, badass Hawk I had a few months ago.

I leave him stunned in silence to think about this as I walk out into the hallway and some of the Cobras who sat with me follow me. We made a fight within our own dojo, even. I'm just surprised anybody is on my side. I thought Hawk was "the man." Maybe they see through his bullshit and realize he isn't the victim he claims to be.

"See you later," I acknowledge the four guys following me and they nod before splitting off into the hallway traffic.

I pass Demetri at his locker as he struggles to get his books out with only one hand. I put my head down and ignore it, pushing away any regret. He deserved it. He did.

I constantly remind myself of the truth of the matter: He's just as bad, if not worse, than Hawk. He deserves more than just a broken arm.

⭒⭒⭒

Gym class is inside today because it's rainy. Hawk and the other Cobras are in this class and it's just as tense as earlier. We're doing table tennis today and the teacher isn't paying attention, so we're all just talking.

"You deserve better than him, anyway," Rickenberger says. My stare is lingering on my ex-boyfriend and I guess he can tell. I have a feeling Rickenberger has a crush on me, but I'm not interested.

"I know," I say. But you can't choose who you love.

"Do you wanna play against me?" Rickenberger grabs a paddle and holds it out to me.

"Sure," I say, hoping maybe I can get my mind off of Hawk.

"Okay. I'll start with the ball," he says.

I nod, walking over to the table. He serves it and the ping pong ball bounces to my side. I hit it without any enthusiasm because all of my energy and hope is gone and this is a stupid game. It goes back and forth a few times before Rickenberger misses it.

"Your point. Good job." I share a small smile with him when he says that, happy I'm winning. I try harder on the next few tries, getting all of the points except one.

"How did you miss that one?" I laugh.

Rickenberger smiles playfully, "I don't know. You're just too good at this.

"I was going to say you suck at this game, but I prefer your compliment," I say. I have the ball now and serve it to his side, sending it way too far across the room past Rickenberger. "Shit."

"It's fine. I've got it," he assures me and walks to where the ball rolled.

I take in my surroundings a moment and see Hawk talking to a pretty, blonde girl. I think she's a cheerleader. She's laughing and it's apparent he's flirting. Ever since I denied the sleep enuresis rumor his popularity has gone back up a bit. If I knew then what I know now, I would've never even thought to defend him.

I set my paddle down and walk over, knowing what I need to do. Maybe I'm a bit jealous, but this goes past that. I need to embarrass him like he embarrassed me by using his own lie against him. He underestimated who he's dealing with.

"Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you," I step beside Hawk with a fakely sweet voice. The cheerleader looks at me in confusion and Hawk turns to me with an irritated look.

"I'm in the middle of a conversation with Ashlyn," Hawk smirks, trying to make me jealous. I don't want him to know it's working.

"I just wanted to let you know the doctor said I'm negative," I inform him.

"What?" Hawk asks me, totally lost. Ashlyn looks between us, also confused.

"For gonorrhea," I say, trying not to laugh. "I was so scared I had it when you told me you came back positive after our night together a few days ago, but I'm healthy. I hope your doctor gave you antibiotics for it and you can get treated."

Hawk stares at me in shock, not even knowing what to say. He's pissed, but I've left him speechless. I turn to see Ashlyn looking at Hawk in disgust.

"Anyway, I'll let you get back to talking with Ashlyn. You seem really nice. We should hang out sometime," I smile at her a bit flirtatiously and walk away.

I make it back to the ping pong table to see Rickenberger, "Where'd you go?"

"I just had to handle something," I explain. He looks at Hawk and I catch his disapproval; I feel bad rejecting him.

"Okay, class is over. Go change and have a good day, guys," Coach says. I walk out of the gym quickly and to the locker room, satisfied with my plan.

Once I'm done changing I walk out into the hallway to wait for the bell to ring to let me go to my next class.

"What the fuck was that?" Hawk storms out of the locker room and into the empty hallway, catching me off-guard. He practically backs me up into the wall.

"Well, I figured if you can make up lies about us sleeping together, I could have my fun, too," I smirk. "After all, you told Jenna that's what we did, right?"

"You say you want me to be happy for you when you move on and then you go ahead and do that?" he asks me.

"You caused her to get mad and call off whatever we had. Don't act like you're innocent," I say.

"Well, I hope you know you just admit to sleeping with me," he says, reaching for an argument.

"What's the difference? Everybody already calls me a slut," I say. Hawk's face falls and for literally only a second I see Eli peek through before being masked again. "At least I'm smart enough to bring you down with me. And no, 'the boys' won't praise you for this one because apparently now you have a STD. There goes your double standard safety net."

"You're such a bitch."

I hate those words coming from his mouth. I used to trust Eli with everything and it always mattered what he thought of me. So, to hear him calling me names pisses me the hell off.

"I'm a winner," I say, "and if being a bitch is apart of that, then so be it."

"You know, you talk all this shit, but you're not even brave enough to visit Miguel," Hawk says.

I freeze. He isn't doing this now. He can't be.

Hawk continues, "Why won't you go see him, Z? Does it ever occur to you that he misses you? Are you such a cold hearted bitch that you don't miss him back?"

A lump forms in my throat from guilt and panic. It's like my nightmares are coming true. But emotions are for the weak.

"What's happened to you? Don't you feel anything?" Hawk asks.

I can't react physically because they'll call Janice. Don't breakdown, don't breakdown, don't breakdown. I feel myself wanting to cry again, but instead muster up all the courage I have to look the him in the eye and say,

"You have no idea what my world looks like." A singular tear rolls down my cheek and I curse myself for being so weak. "Just... leave me alone, Hawk."

I turn around and walk down the hall, hating that I'm cowering, that I let him get the best of me, that Miguel was brought up and threw me off my game. I walk into the bathroom, becoming very familiar with it now.

I need to stop breaking down. Tears are for losers. I'm a winner.

Miguel lost to Robby when he showed mercy and let his guard down. I can't let that happen to me again. I let my guard down at the Hansen's and ever since I've paid the price. I need to trust my sensei and follow his rules to become a winner. Otherwise, I'm nothing.

Miguel misses me. I never think about him because it's really hard. I'm scared I'll lose him again. I'm scared he'll come back to the normal world and not want to be my friend anymore, my best friend. I miss him so much it hurts, but maybe Hawk is right. Maybe I am soulless. Maybe I am such a horrible person that Miguel is better off without me, anyway.

All I know is I can never go back. I'm stronger now and all that matters is winning. I won't let myself down again.

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: ...and this brings us to what the next chapter is about (aka the Hawk v. Brucks episode)!

Also, Hawk said "cold hearted." Did you think about how the title of this book is actually describing Zion and not Hawk or Robby or anybody else?

I have so much planned for the rest of the season and I can't wait to type it out and share it with you all. Honestly, I have a hard time writing Z sometimes because she's a fighter and she has good in her, but Kreese's influence in her makes it tricky to convey a likable character. So, I revise over and over again and I feel like this chapter isn't my best, but thanks for reading anyway. I hope the future ones will be better.

I'm just going to tell you now none of you are going to be fully ready for the next two chapters.