Chapter Forty: I'm A Winner, Sensei

"In the end you'll see, you won't stop me. I am a fighter and I ain't gon' stop. There is no turning back. I've had enough. What makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, it makes me that much wiser. So, thanks for making me a fighter."

~Fighter by Christina Aguilera~

⭒⭒⭒

Revised: July 29. 2022

Warnings: abuse, anxiety, biphobia/homophobia, depression, domestic violence, slight eating disorder, language, panic attacks, sexual harassment/assault/abuse, violence, and other mature themes

A/N: This chapter is roughly 10,000 words of pain. Let me just remind you of the trigger warnings and how almost all of them are applicable for this chapter. Please take care of yourself <3

⭒⭒⭒

Zion's POV

"Ella, you should probably get off of your iPad," I say. Her dad was very clear he doesn't want her on screens too much.

"But I want to finish building this house," she pouts as she plays Minecraft.

"Isn't there something you want to do with me?" I suggest, knowing that she likes me; honestly, I've grown to like her a bunch, too.

She's helped lighten my mood after the whole Hawk drama earlier and she's a good distraction from my feelings. He's been texting and even calling me, but I've ignored them all. The tattoo itself isn't the reason I'm upset. Well, it's not the only reason. It's what the tattoo represents: he's over me. But I still love him.

"Like what?" she asks.

I try to think through what we can do. She already ate and we played Uno and she got upset when I won all three games. What can I say? I play to win.

"Do you have any fun hobbies?" I ask and her face lights up.

"I play soccer," she says excitedly.

"Oh, really?" I ask. I swear, she's a mini-me. I used to play soccer all the way through middle school. I quit when my dad's health started declining because practices took up any time I had left with him. Still, I was good at it and it was a lot of fun.

"Yeah!" she says and I look outside to see we still have a bit of sunlight.

"Do you want to go play?" I suggest and within a second she sets the iPad to the side and jumps up and down.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" she squeals in excitement and runs out of the room. I follow her to a closet and she grabs a soccer ball. "Have you ever played?"

"Are you kidding? I played for years," I say and then realize that may be why I'm so good at kicking in karate. Why did it take me so long to put two and two together? I guess it's because I've blocked out a lot from my childhood.

"Yay! I'm going to kick your butt," she laughs and goes out the back door.

I follow her into the medium-sized, fenced-in backyard. I notice there are tiny soccer goals on either side of the yard.

"Okay, I get the ball first," she sets it down and runs to the side of me. I let her go and she kicks the ball into the goal.

"Good job," I praise her and hold up my hand for a high five.

"You didn't even try to stop me," she pout.

I raise my eyebrows, "You want me to go hard on you?" She nods. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

She gets into position and I grab the soccer ball, kicking it around her and rushing after it. She tries to grab it from in front of me and I use my foot to push it back. She goes for it there and I kick it way out in front of us. I run over and kick it up to my knees and then kick my foot relatively high, sending the ball into the goal. I guess I kind of combined soccer and karate with that move.

"Woah!" Ella screams in astonishment. "Can you teach me how to do that?"

"Yeah," I walk over and grab the ball. "If you see your opponent coming for the ball one way, you then take your foot and push it the other."

I demonstrate, taking the ball and switching it behind me and to the front. Then, I take it under my toes and flick it into the air, having it hit my knees now. I juggle it with my knees and feet and can see Ella staring in awe in my peripheral vision. After a minute or so, I catch it with my hands and Ella claps.

"I want to try!" she says and I hand her the ball.

"It's okay if you don't get it on the first try. This was mastered after years of training," I say and she tries, but the ball doesn't work well with her. "Don't give up. Use your ankles and toes and the rest of your foot and focus on the ball and only the ball."

She tries again and does a little better getting it up into the air, "I did it!"

"Yes, you did," I smile. "Now, try juggling it with your knees."

She picks up the ball and bounces it from one knee to the other, but the third attempt fails.

"Dang it," she frowns.

"Don't give up. I believe in you," I say and she nods, grabbing the ball and trying again. She tries a few more times and only makes it to two again and I decide to try another method. "Did you know that I take karate?"

"Karate?" she asks excitedly. "Can you teach me?"

"Sure," I say, happy she's excited to learn. "Get into a fighting position." I demonstrate and she copies me with a big smile. "No, wait." I walk over to her and fix her fists. "You see that?" I show her mine in comparison to hers. "The thumb goes on the outside. Otherwise, you'll break your thumb when you go to punch someone."

"Okay," she takes my critique well and fixes her hands.

"Good. Tuck the thumb under tightly and then spread your feet out a bit more and find your balance," I say.

She does so with no problems. It makes me feel good that I can teach her well. Ella needs to know this stuff for life because before you know it, bad things will come your way.

"Your elbow is the strongest part of your body. Keep that in mind," I say and she nods. I join her position and then punch, "Hiya!"

She flinches and looks at me a little scared and I instantly regret being so violent.

"Sorry. Just repeat after me." I take my stance again, "Hiya!" I'm softer when I say it this time.

"Hiya!" she says.

"Good. Try again," I encourage her.

"Hiya!" she punches the air. I smile at how good she is already.

"Add a kick. Use your hips and do your best to keep your balance," I instruct. She copies my movement and I smile, "You don't have to point your toes. This isn't ballet class."

"Oops," she laughs.

"It's okay," I assure her and she tries again.

"Perfect. Now, use that center of balance with the soccer ball," I suggest, hoping that this works. 

She walks back over to the ball and picks it up. "It's just you and me, ball. Please do your job," she whispers to it softly.

I smile at how cute she is as she takes a deep breath and tries again.

One, two, three, four, five...

"I did it!" she screams in excitement at the new record and jumps around.

She gives me a big hug and I jolt back a little from the interaction, but she doesn't seem to notice.

"You're the best babysitter ever."

I feel my heart melt at that. After the rough week I've had, this made it all worth it.

"You're the best kid I've ever babysat," I give into the hug and return the affection.

After a moment, I break the hug and squat down to her level.

"It's getting kind of late again. Do you want to go inside and make some popcorn and watch more Avengers?"

"Yeah!" she says happily and rushes towards the house. I grab the ball and smile to myself. I love her.

I walk inside with her and see she's already made a beeline for the pantry. 

"Can I please, please, please have a pack of mini muffins?" she holds the Little Bites up.

"How about we have what I brought?" I ask her with a mischievous smile. "But, you can't tell your dad."

"Ooh," she gasps. "What is it?"

I grab my book bag and pull out a bag of Hershey kisses.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" she jumps up and down.

"Our little secret?" I ask her. I think we're both tired of mini muffins.

"Yeah," Ella nods quickly as I pour some out onto the table.

She grabs a handful and rushes over to the living room with them. I smile and bring the bag over with us.

Ella holds the remote and I speak up, "Don't leave melted chocolate anywhere."

"I won't get you in trouble," she assures me. "I want you to be my babysitter forever and ever."

I try not to get emotional at how much I love her already as she pulls up Disney+.

⭒⭒⭒

"I'm home," the front door closes and I stand up from the couch, looking for my phone and keys to leave. "Zion, thank you for watching her."

"No problem," I say.

He reaches into his pocket, brings out his wallet, and then hands me the money for the night.

"Can I count on you again for tomorrow night?" he asks and I nod, reaching out my hand to accept the money. "That's a nice tattoo of a bird."

I look down at the hawk on my left wrist and respond tensely, "Thanks."

I pocket the money and move by him and he calls after me, "Drive safe."

I get into my car and drive towards the dojo, angry that I let myself get hurt by Hawk. Again.

It dawns on me that he gave me the nickname "Z" in the first place and I just wish I could change it now.

And this stupid tattoo. I wish I'd never gotten it for him. I want it removed. I'm such a fucking idiot.

I make it into Reseda and park at the dojo. I don't even know if it's open, but I need to blow off some steam. I have to fight so I don't feel emotions.

I go up to the door and, thankfully, find it unlocked. I walk immediately to the back room and my eyes land on the punching bag.

I hit it with all the anger in my body.

I'm pissed at Hawk.

I strike it again with a grunt.

For playing with my feelings.

Another punch.

For making me sad all over again.

Another hit.

For giving me hope.

A kick.

I'm mad at myself for being so weak and letting this bother me.

Another kick.

And I'm mad at Janice.

Another punch.

And Demetri.

Another kick.

And Samantha.

Another punch.

And the world.

I grunt and hit the punching bag rapidly, showing no mercy to all I've envisioned.

Everything has gone to shit.

"You get into a fight?" a voice asks behind me.

"No," I don't let up with my punches, despite Sensei Kreese trying to talk to me.

"Then what's bothering you, child?" he asks me.

"Nothing," I kick it again and let out a grunt.

"Nothing, huh?" he asks.

"I'm not," punch, "in the mood," punch, "for a conversation," punch.

"Did you lose?" he asks me and I turn around.

"Will you just leave me the hell alone?" I snap at him in frustration.

He looks down sadly and I immediately regret it.

"I'm sorry, Sensei." That isn't how I should be speaking to him.

"No, it's all right. Something has made you mad and hurt you. The world can do that to a person," he says in understanding.

"Yeah, no shit," I say and look down at my bloody and blistered hands.

"You can train here all night, if you'd like," he suggests.

"That won't be necessary. I'm-"

"Living out of your car?" he asks and I stare at him in shock.

"How'd you know that?" I ask.

"I used to do the same thing," he responds. "Plus, your backseat is piled high with things and I knew you weren't at your mom's or living with Hawk or Diaz anymore." I tense at the mention of everyone in that sentence.

"I don't want to talk about them," I say, looking down.

"My mistake," he says. "I'll leave the key here for you, whether you decide to leave or stay." I look up and see him setting it on the table.

"Are you sure? I-"

"It's good to fight your way through things. Makes you stronger," he says with a small smirk and it makes me feel good about myself that I'm doing the right thing. "Like I said, the dojo is always open for you, child."

After a moment, he turns to walk out and I let out a sigh of relief. I'm safe here. I hear the door to the dojo ring as he leaves and I turn back to the punching bag.

"Hiya!" I scream as the bag bounces back from my punch.

⭒⭒⭒

I stayed up all night practicing and then I went to the mini-mart next door and got a Red Bull for caffeine. I didn't want to fall asleep. Now, it's morning and I walk out of the dojo and get into my car. I need to go to the community center for food and then shower at the gym and then come back for karate later. Time doesn't stop when life inconveniences you. You have to keep moving forward.

I make it to the community center and get into the line, waiting for the food that actually smells decent today. It's something sweet, I think. The long line slowly moves forward and I grab a tray when it comes my turn. I smile a little when I see french toast. Maybe this morning won't be that bad.

"Zion?"

I look up in a panic to see who said that.

Then my eyes land across the counter from me and my heart stops.

"Oh my God. Robby!" I exclaim softly.

Robby gives me a small smile. He's still smiling, but it isn't the same as it was; it's a broken smile. He's in a bright yellow shirt and a hairnet and has a big bruise on the side of his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me and I look down. "Oh," he pieces it together, "sorry."

"It's fine," I say. "You cut your hair. It looks good," I observe. His hair looks even better short, similar to how it was when we first met.

"Thanks. You cut yours, too," Robby says. "It's perfect for you."

It's grown out a bit and there's more brown in it now. I smile at the compliment and see in his face that he genuinely means that.

"Are you doing, like... community service?"

"You could say that," he nods. "Three days a week."

"Oh, that's... good, I guess," I say.

"Stop holding up the line!" some homeless lady yells at me and I frown.

"Do you have time to talk later?" I ask him hopefully.

"I hope so. I have to clean up once this line clears out, so maybe wait for me?" he asks.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," I nod and take the plate from him. "Thanks."

I go to sit down as my heart races. I try to eat my food, but can't stop glancing back over at him. He's really here and he's okay.

⭒⭒⭒

An hour or so later, Robby is done serving people and I see him grabbing a bag of trash to take out to the dumpster. I walk over to help him.

"Hey, let me give you a hand," I say.

He shakes his head. "I can get it."

"I know. But this may be our only opportunity to talk. The cops in there seem pretty strict," I point out.

He nods. I grab a bag of trash, as well, and then walk with him.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asks.

I realize I have no idea. I just wanted to see him. "Um... I don't know."

"You don't?" he asks and I shake my head. "Look, if you want to get mad at me for what happened to Mig-"

"I'm not," I stop him before he can even finish that sentence. He looks at me in shock. "I mean, it was a mistake."

We make it to the big dumpster and he throws in one bag of trash. I see a cop is standing to the side of us, watching Robby intently.

"It... It was a mistake, right?"

"Of course it was," he assures me.

"I knew it," I sigh in relief.

"Why are you being so nice about it? I could have killed him," his eyes meet mine, confused.

"Because I know you," I say and his eyes soften. "You're Robby Keene and before all of this dojo nonsense you were good."

Robby speaks up after a moment, "You're probably the only person that thinks that."

"That's not true," I say.

"Yeah? I think it is," he says and turns to go back inside.

I grab his hand and turn him to face me again, "Why? What makes you think that?"

"Mr. LaRusso sold me out," he reveals sadly and I feel my blood boil; you can't trust a LaRusso. "He turned me in after tricking me with a visit to my mom."

"Oh. I'm so-"

"Save it. I know it sucks, but I don't need your sympathy," he pulls his hand out of mine and I awkwardly move them back in front of me to play with my ring. I can relate to not wanting to be the victim and I empathize with him.

"I know. You're good on your own," I nod awkwardly and he looks down. "But that's not all of it, is it?"

"My dad was supposed to visit me," he says.

I look up at the mention of my former sensei. The one who betrayed us. The one who couldn't be bothered to be there for me when I called. The one who taught Miguel mercy and put him in a coma. The one who abandoned Robby for the majority of his life.

"But he never came. I just sat there like a fucking idiot for ten minutes. It was humiliating."

"It hurts getting your hopes up only to have them crash back down on you," I nod in understanding.

I remember all the times my mom was too drunk to show up to something special to me. For example, my middle school graduation. It lame, but everybody else's parents were able to make it. I got an award for soccer and she couldn't even be bothered to come. My dad was there and tried to assure me it was okay, but the damage was done and I felt like I didn't matter to her. Turns out I was right.

"And juvie is the worst. Some guys in there hassle me all the time and I don't compare," he says.

"I can tell," I say with a frown, gesturing to his eye and he nods. I see tears in his eyes and all I want to do is help him.

I walk over and wrap him in a hug, not even thinking about it because it feels natural. After a moment, he returns it and I actually feel comfortable enough to hold him even tighter. I can't tell if this hug is to help him or help me, but it feels nice. Maybe a mix of both.

"I know what it's like to feel like all you do is wrong," I say softly and pull away.

Robby looks at me with the same defeated look in his eyes, but he stands a bit taller now and I think the hug helped.

"But like I said, I know you. You usually have good judgement and all we can hope for is that someday the rest of the world will agree that what we've done is right, with the exceptions of a few mistakes. For now, it's always good to try and stay one step ahead of the enemy. Maybe even consider striking first."

"You really think it's a good idea for me to use karate after what I did?" he asks.

"You aren't the only one to blame for that," I try to reason with him.

"Oh, yeah? Who else kicked Miguel over that balcony, huh?" he asks angrily.

"E-Everyone contributed to what led up to that moment," I say.

"Just forget it, Zion. I can't be helped," he shakes his head and turns to walk away.

"You can use karate to help you. It's a good way to channel your anger and other feelings," I call after him.

"You really don't hate me?" he turns back and I stare in shock at the question.

"No, I don't hate you," I assure him and he smiles softly.

"Keene, let's get inside," the guard says and Robby moves to leave.

"Can I come see you again?" I ask.

"I'm here tomorrow morning, too," he turns over his shoulder as he walks out.

I smile to myself. I'll see him again tomorrow.

⭒⭒⭒

Class is almost over, but Sensei Kreese is running us through the way of the fist again. I have to go over to the Hansen's again after class.

"What do we study here?" Sensei yells and we respond.

"The way of defense!"

"And what is that way?"

I stand firmly as I respond with everyone else. "Strike first, strike hard, no mercy!"

"I can't hear you," he says and this time I say it with more conviction.

"Strike first, strike hard, no mercy!"

Sensei Kreese's eyes scan over us with a slight smirk, "At ease." We all relax. "Class dismissed."

I walk over to my bag to grab my money to pay for classes this week. Since I have my job and the babysitting money I can actually pay for class myself.

"Z, I would like a word with you," Sensei Kreese says as I grab my bag.

I've been ignoring Hawk in school and at the dojo and he actually seems to be leaving me alone now, which is good.

Tory and I exchange a small wave goodbye as I head into the tiny office.

He sits at his desk, "You left early this morning."

"Yes, Sensei," I say. "I left for breakfast."

"I see," he nods. "You're welcome to stay here again. There are some extra mats in the back you can set up for a bed, if you'd like."

I smile slightly at the kind gesture, "Thank you, Sensei. I'd hate to intrude. And I won't be in until late tonight."

"Do you still have your key?" he asks and I nod. "Whats keeping you out so late?"

"Um, I'm babysitting, Sensei," I say.

"Oh," he nods. "You know the people you sit for?"

"Well, I know them enough," I nod and he doesn't seem convinced.

"And you'll be safe?" he asks.

"Yes, Sensei."

He approves, "Okay. You're dismissed."

I turn to walk out, but not before I remember the money and count the cash for class, "Here's my payment."

"Thank you," he takes it from me.

I nod and walk out of the dojo to my car. The sun is already setting and I drive quickly to make it to the Hansen house.

⭒⭒⭒

"Front kick! Aitz," I say and Ella does so. "Jab punch. Aitz!" She follows instructions and I smile. "Good job! You're becoming really good at this."

"Thanks! I want to be just like you when I grow up," she smiles.

"Be even better," I whisper. I don't think she heard me. This isn't how I would be living my life if I had a choice.

"Can we watch The Lion King now?" she asks.

"Of course. Let's go," I say and we make our way out of the bonus room and back into the living room.

I set up the movie and then sit on the couch with her. She scoots closer to cuddle with me and I smile; she's just so cute.

"Do you have a brother or sister?" she glances up at me.

I shake my head. "No, it was always just me growing up."

"I've always wanted a little sister. Or, a dog. Or, a cat," Ella giggles. "It's just me and my daddy."

"Well," I try to give her some advice, "always appreciate your dad because he cares about you. You can't take anything for granted."

"What's 'granted?'" she asks me.

"Just... tell your dad you love him whenever you can," I explain.

"I will," she nods and gets up. 

Ella walks over to the other side of the couch and grabs the blanket. She hands it to me and sits back half in my lap. I drape it over us.

We finally start the movie and she's wide awake for the first half.

She sings along to the songs and I laugh in amusement.

"Sing with me!" she exclaims.

"I'm not much of a singer," I argue and she frowns.

"Please, please, pleaseee?" she begs and I see her giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," I say timidly and she resumes singing.

"Oh, I just can't wait to be king! Come on, Z!"

"Oh, I just can't wait to be king," I join her softly and she continues singing at the top of her lungs.

She curls in closer to me with the blanket held up to her face when Be Prepared comes on. 

When Simba sings Hakuna Matata, she encourages me to sing with her again. She gets up and dances around the living room as I watch in pure happiness. 

"Dance with me," she comes over and tugs on my arm.

"Um, okay," I give in and stand up with her.

I lift her over my head and spin her around. Ella shrieks in excitement until the song ends. I lay back down and she does, too. 

"Z?" her voice calls out another ten or fifteen minutes later.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"I love you," she tells me.

I glance over at her and see she's curled up in the blanket and half asleep.

"I love you, too, Ella," I tell her. 

She yawns and I turn down the volume on the movie. 

Eventually, she falls asleep. Ella is out like a light and is curled up on the other half of the couch.

"Ella, it's time for bed," I whisper. She doesn't move. I pick her up after a moment and carry her down the hall to her bedroom. I tuck her under the covers and smile at her little, angelic face, "Sleep well, sweet girl."

I close the door to her room behind me and feel my heart swell for the first time in a long time.

I walk back out and sit on the couch to find something to watch as I wait for Adam to come home.

⭒⭒⭒

I hear the keys in the lock another hour or so later. I get up and grab my things, ready to leave.

"I'm back," he says. He has bags in his hands and is soaked from head to toe. "I got groceries on the way home, so sorry I'm a bit late."

"That's okay," I say and he lugs them into the kitchen.

"Is there any way you can help me? I have a few more bags in my car," he says.

"Sure..." I say wearily and walk out the door only to be caught in a downpour of rain.

I run out to the car and grab the rest from the backseat. I notice another car parked on the street, but I don't think it's Adam's. I look away as I get soaked and then run back inside.

"Thank you," he says and I nod, setting them on the kitchen table. He sets the things in the refrigerator and I wait for him to realize he needs to pay me so I can leave. "It's really coming down out there. I had trouble seeing where I was going when I drove. I hope you get home - or, wherever you're staying - safely."

"I will," I say and he grabs a beer, walking over to the living room. "Um, if you could just pay me I'll be good to go."

"Right," he says and searches his pockets for his wallet. "Oh, shit. It's in the car. Hold on."

He walks out of the house and I wait for him to come back. My hair and clothes are drenched and I already feel cold from the wet rain.

"Okay, money, money, money," he looks through his wallet and pulls out some, counting it. "Sixty." I take the cash thankfully and turn to leave. "You look freezing." It's true. I'm shivering. "I'll get you a towel."

"Oh, no. That's-"

"I insist. I don't want you getting hypothermia on my account," he says and walks out to grab one.

I decide to wait for it because I really do need to dry off and warm up. Suddenly, lightening flashes through the windows and thunder booms.

Adam returns with the towel, "Wow. Big storm." I nod and take it from him. I wonder how I'm going to make it back to the dojo in this weather. "You can stay out here and sleep on the couch, if you'd like. As long as you're okay with that."

I wrap the towel around my shoulders. "Uh, sure. Thanks." If I'm out here on the couch I'll be good. It's nice of him to offer as much. It beats the mats at the dojo, especially if it saves me from driving in this mess.

I remember driving with my permit with my dad and getting stuck in a really, really bad storm like this one. It was hell and I only made it out because he was there with me the whole time to direct me. I'd rather not go through that again.

"Okay, let me go get you some blankets and a pillow." He walks out of the room and I do my best to dry off before sitting on the couch.

He comes back in with a quilt and pillow.

"Thanks," I say and take them from him. I turn around and set up the bedding on the couch.

"You know, I'd like to thank you for helping out with Ella," he says from behind me and I turn to face him.

"Sure. She's a great kid," I say awkwardly.

"Do you want some dry clothes to change into? I have some of Ella's mom's old clothes in the closet," he says and I debate.

"Sure," I say, worried about getting a cold or rash from the wet clothes.

"Okay," he says and walks out and I follow him. He opens the closet and hands me some sweats, "Are these okay?" I nod. "You know where the bathroom is."

I nod and walk down to the small bathroom to change.

I close the door and peel the wet shirt off of my skin first. It goes over my head and I use the towel to dry my hair. Then, I get my other clothes off and change into the dry ones. I have to keep my bra and underwear on, but at least the wet, external clothes are off and my body is dried down now.

I walk out of the bathroom and back to the couch. I look around for Adam to thank him or something, but he isn't around and I'm so tired that I get under the covers and collapse on the couch.

⭒⭒⭒

I wake up with an uneasy feeling, not having been asleep for more than a half hour because I didn't have time for a nightmare. I look around me and jump when I see a figure sitting in the chair to the side of me.

"Oh, good. You're awake," the voice says and it takes me a moment to remember where I am.

"A-Adam?" I ask in confusion. First of all, why is he sitting in here while I sleep? And second of all, I notice bottles and bottles of liquor are empty. Did he drink all of those?

"I didn't mean to wake you. You just look so gorgeous when you sleep," he says and I sit up fully, uncomfortable.

"What are you doing in here? W-Why are you.. w-watching me sleep?" I ask.

"I thought it would be nice," he says.

"What would be nice...?" I ask.

He stands up, walking around, "You're just so beautiful."

"Adam... You- Are you drunk?" I ask though I know the answer.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he shakes his head. "I didn't want to ruin your sleep. I just have a problem in my room and wanted you to help me."

I'm sleepy, but something about this feels wrong. "A... problem?"

"I spilled coffee all over the carpet in there and I didn't know if you knew how to get it out," he explains. That doesn't even make sense. "Do you?"

"What? You want me to help you remove a stain?" I ask, tired out of my mind.

"I don't have a woman's knowledge of how to clean things and since you're awake..." he gestures his hands in hopes I can help him.

Something isn't right here, but I guess the least I could do is get up and see if I can fix it. He hasn't given me a reason to not trust him. The sooner I do this, the sooner I can get back to bed. I've also had my fair share of stains to clean when Janice was drunk and had no regard for anyone but herself.

"Uh, okay... where?" I ask.

He gestures for me to follow him. I walk down the hallway, quietly past Ella's bedroom, and into his dark room. I uncomfortably walk in and hesitate as I squint to see in the faint light from his closet.

"It's on the other side of the bed," he points to the side with the nightstand and I make it over there, confused as my eyes try to focus. "On the ground."

"I don't see anything," I say and I bend over to look at the carpet. "Can we turn on a light?"

Suddenly, hands sneak around my waist and I freeze. A body is pressed against mine as I'm bent over with his dick practically pressed against my ass. Shit.

"What are you doing?!" I exclaim and stand up straight now, my back against his chest as he holds me tighter. "Get off."

"Shhh," he whispers in my ear, "you don't want to wake Ella up, do you?" I can smell the alcohol coating his breath.

"Let go of me!" I whisper-yell.

"It's okay, babygirl," his hand slowly moves down in front of me and to the waistband of my sweatpants. "I'm going to make you feel good."

I can't do anything to stop him. I can't even move. I'm frozen in fear and shaking in terror. This can't be real.

"And in turn, you can make me feel good. You do owe me, after all. I'm letting you stay here, so it's the least you can do," Adam whispers deeply and I feel his lips kiss my ear, then my neck.

No. No. No. This has to be a dream, a nightmare.

I know I need to fight back. I need to punch him or something, but I don't remember any karate moves. It's like my brain has stopped working out of fear.

"Stop touching me," I manage to squeak out, wondering why I sound so weak.

"Come on, let daddy please you," he says.

My stomach churns in disgust, but I can't move. I think I'm involuntarily shaking, though.

One arm moves up to my neck and secures me in his grip while his other hand slides down into my pants and underwear. I struggle to get out of this position, but he's so much bigger and stronger, even drunk.

His fingers move around in my underwear and I try to reason with him, "Adam, I-"

"Ohhh, I love it when you say my name," he practically moans in my ear.

His finger presses my clit. I stifle my moan by biting my lip, though my body is being a traitor.

I beg the universe for this to be a nightmare. Please, please, please, be some sick, twisted nightmare.

The fear has taken over and I can't even think of a karate move or how to fight. He toys with my clit some more and I feel myself get wet and my train of thought is almost lost.

"Good girls get rewarded," he says and starts planting kisses on my neck.

"NO!" I find my voice in a panic. "Stop! Let go!" I scream and regain control of myself, my arm grabbing his and yanking it out of my pants and then taking my foot and stomping on his.

He groans and I pry his hands off of me, jumping away clumsily. My eyes land on the door and I notice he's blocking my way, so my only alternative is to jump over the bed. I take the chance and jump on the bed, rushing to the door.

My foot doesn't follow, though, and I feel his hand grabbing it. I can't move any further. I turn back to punch him, but he grabs my fist and wrestles me onto the bed, pinning me underneath him. Shit.

"Be quiet, babygirl. Don't you want to be so good for me?" His hot breath coats my ear and the smell of alcohol fills my nose. 

I press my back further and further into the mattress to get away from him. I can feel the bile rising in my mouth and the tears starting to form. I feel helpless.

It's obvious that this is all some sick game to him and it makes me want to cry. I am a human being, but I just keep getting used and used and used over and over again. I should have known this whole situation with Ella was too good to be true, but-

He kisses me forcefully again and I curl my lips in, trying to not kiss him as much as possible. My arms are pinned and my legs are in a practically useless position right now and I couldn't even think of a move to get out of this if I wanted to. 

"Come on," he gropes my breast. I gasp and he moves in for another kiss that I don't have time to refuse. I feel so dirty and used right now.

He moves to get my shirt off and I panic, trying to push his arms down to stop. My voice is caught in the back of my throat, so it's hard to resist vocally besides my ragged breathing as I try to get him to stop. Before I can react, though, he raises his hand and slaps my cheek.

I freeze in shock.

Nobody has slapped me since I lived with Janice.

It stings and catches me off-guard, allowing him to slip the shirt over my head, my body not wanting to function.

"Fuck, you look amazing, babygirl," Adam says, lustfully looking at my boobs - still, thankfully, covered by my bra - and the rest of my curves. "So perfect for daddy."

I watch as he moves his hands to his pants to pull them down and it hits me.

He's going to rape me.

My fight or flight somehow brings me back to the real world with full function of my body. Adrenaline rushes through my veins as I take in a big breath of air and I punch him.

The impact of my punch causes him to fall back drunkenly.

I take this moment to move as fast as I can, opening the bedroom door and running to the living room to grab my things off the couch. I don't have a shirt on anymore, but I don't have time to worry about it right now.

I find my phone, keys, money, and clothes and move as quickly as I can to make it out the front door to my car parked on the street.

"Zion!" he yells after me and I run, my heart rate so high that I know I'm in a horror movie.

My body wants to collapse, but I keep moving. I have to.

I make it out the front door and hear him yell after me demandingly, "Zion, come back inside. It isn't safe to be out in this weather."

I keep running and almost slip and fall in a puddle. My breathing is heavy and I barely have control of myself.

"Leave the girl alone," a familiar voice says firmly but not very loudly. I see a man closing his car door and standing in the rain outside of the parked car next to mine and I freak out a little, not having seen him there until now: Sensei Kreese?!

"Who the hell are you?" Adam asks.

I realize he ran after me and is only a few feet away, but so is Sensei Kreese. I sob as I walk backwards towards my car little by little so it's unnoticeable that I'm moving.

"Weren't you ever taught to keep your hands to yourself?" he asks Adam and I stare in shock.

"Who are you? Her grandpa? I thought she was an orphan...?" Adam asks, a little worried now.

He was preying on me on purpose. Of course.

"I'm a third party looking out for her well-being," Sensei Kreese steps closer to Adam and all of us are getting soaked.

"Stay outta this, old man," Adam says.

"Get out of here," Sensei Kreese turns to me.

I hesitate leaving him behind, but I know I need to leave. I rush to my car and get in.

I start my car and prepare to leave, but then I see Adam throw a punch at Sensei Kreese, who blocks it and kicks his kneecap, sending him to his knees. Sensei holds his fist with both arms, pinning him on his knees on the ground and I see Adam's face contort in pain. Then, Sensei Kreese does some kind of trick and swings his fists around and hits Adam directly in the face.

He falls to the ground, unconscious.

I sigh in relief as Sensei Kreese turns to me and walks over. I grab a sweatshirt from the backseat and slip it on over my soaked bra. I'm embarrassed he kind of saw me without a shirt on, but I'm so thankful for him helping me that I don't focus on it.

Then, I put my window down as he speaks, "Are you okay?" I nod while tears roll down my face. "I'll meet you back at the dojo, okay?" I nod and roll up the window as Sensei Kreese slowly steps back and walks away to his car.

I can't even form words. All I know is that I'm still shaking and I'm wet and that was quite possibly the scariest thing to ever happen to me. My heart still beats out of my chest as I do everything I can not to cry right here, right now.

My eyes land on Adam's crumpled figure on the front lawn. I don't hesitate when I put the car in reverse and do everything in my power to get out of the driveway and away from the creep before he wakes up again.

⭒⭒⭒

"How did you... How did you know where I was and that I needed help?" I ask, still not having complete control over my body or thoughts; I feel... empty.

I'm back at the dojo now with Sensei Kreese. I'm in his office and sitting in a collapsable chair on the other side of the room. He made some coffee for us, even though its past midnight now. I'm still very shaken up and my right leg is bouncing up and down anxiously.

"You were acting differently since last night. I thought something was wrong," he explains.

"So, what? You followed me?" I ask, a little creeped out.

"I figured somebody had to watch out for your well-being if you were going to babysit in someone's house. You didn't seem confident you knew them well," he says and I look down.

"Oh. Well, uh, thank you. Nobody... Nobody seems to care about me anymore. I'm glad you were... you were there."

"I am, too," he nods and I see he genuinely means that.

Then it dawns on me: Ella.

"Oh my God," I gasp.

"What?" Sensei asks me in confusion, a little worried.

"The little girl I was babysitting... I just left her there with her dad... How could I just leave her there? With him? What if... What if..."

"I'm sure she's fine, child," my sensei says and I shake my head.

"I am an awful person," I whisper and hang my head to look into my coffee mug. "Her dad is capable of anything and she's only ten and I only gave her, like, two karate lessons. That isn't enough. H-He's going to hurt her because her mom isn't alive anymore and he's an alcoholic and... and..."

Tears roll down my face and I feel the panic overcoming me as I spin my ring around my finger and rock back and forth more, anxiety taking over. I don't want what happened with me to happen with her. Ella is too pure. But now I don't know how to help her and it's terrifying. I'm useless.

"I know what regret feels like," Sensei Kreese says in a gentle voice and I look at him, trying to zone back into reality and hear what he says. "But you need to let it go. Getting away from him was smart. Don't hesitate to always do the smart thing. Damn the consequences, use your head, and work to save yourself. You won't have the chance to save someone else if you're dead."

I continue looking down, slowly nodding at what he says. It makes sense, even though the word "dead" is a little extreme.

"I was in the Vietnam war, as you know," he says and I nod. "You see things. They change you, make you wiser. I'm here to help you and the rest of my students avoid the same mistakes I made."

I stand up and set my coffee on the desk, "Sensei, thank you for everything, but it's been a long day and the last thing I want to think about is karate. I'm going to try to turn in for the night." I look at him and wait for approval.

"Of course, child. I should head back to my apartment, anyway. You have the key to here. Do you want my number in case something goes wrong again?" he asks.

"Yes, Sensei," I say, taking every precaution I can at this point. The dojo is safe, but I thought I was safe at the Hansen's and look what happened.

He writes the number on a slip of paper and walks by me. "Have a goodnight. Call me if you need somethin'," he says and I nod.

He walks out and I feel content knowing Sensei Kreese is in my corner to watch after me. It's kind of like how my dad used to, but of course not to this extent.

I put the number in my phone and then make it to the back of the dojo and move the mats to make a bed, worn-out from everything today. Once my makeshift bed is ready, I lay down and try to sleep.

The silence is deafening. The events of the night rush back to me and I curl into myself as I remember everything.

He saw my body. He kissed me. His hands touched me. Intimately. He was so close to doing more.

And what did I do? I froze. I didn't do anything.

I rock back and forth on the mats to calm myself, trying to stop the panic.

I froze at the party, too, with Luke. Janice, Demetri, everyone gossiping about me? They know deep down what I am, what I must be. I'm not even a human being anymore; I'm just a prop.

No wonder Hawk changed his tattoo. No wonder Janice doesn't want me. Nobody cares. They don't care.

I think about Sensei Kreese helping me.

I need to think about something else besides Adam.

Anything else.

This morning I saw Robby and that was good, I guess. His hopes and dreams are shattered like mine, but I think we understand each other.

When I was sad, my dad would always tell me to imagine myself where I want to be. I decide to pick a happy memory that will hopefully suppress the bad ones, at least temporarily.

It was two summers ago. Jess and Brian dragged Katie, Reid, and I to this huge party on the beach. People were everywhere and the sun was already down. We were all in our swimsuits; I wore a cute, lavender bikini. I remember Brian met up with his boyfriend, Katie joined some girls to play volleyball, Reid went to go hang out with some of his guy friends, and Jess took me to get something to drink. Some campfires were built on the sand since it was dark at that point, providing us with our only light besides flashlights and the moon.

At first, it started off slow and I didn't even want to be there. My dad was in the hospital and I didn't want to leave his side, but Jess insisted I have some fun. We drank rum and Coke together. Jess and I had broken up prior to this moment, so we were both single and possibly looking for someone. She went to go talk to some friends- being the social butterfly that she is- and left me alone.

That's when some guy with beautiful eyes and a nineties haircut walked over; his hair was slightly falling forward into his face. He grabbed a cup of something and I glanced over at him a bit, low-key checking him out. He was only in his swim trunks and I noticed his six pack immediately. When he turned to look at me, I put my head down and walked back over to Jess hurriedly.

An hour or so later, I glanced over at Reid and his friends, casually looking at the boy from earlier. Something about him was different, in a good way. I could almost have sworn he was peeking over to see me, too. That's when Jess spoke up.

"Go make a move," Jess says.

"What? Huh?" I ask and she laughs.

"I've seen you checking out the cute guy over there. Go talk to him," she says and I shake my head.

"I don't know. Do you think he'd like me back?" I ask.

"Probably. He's headed this way now," Jess laughs.

"What?" I panic and spin around to see boy coming my direction. Jess shoves me towards him and I stumble forward a little on the sand. He stands in front of me now with a smile,

"Hi, I'm Robby." He extends his hand to shake.

"I'm Zion," I accept the handshake with a smile. He's really cute.

"Nice to meet you," he says.

"Likewise," I say awkwardly, not knowing how to flirt because I don't want to come on too strong. I see something in his hands. "Do you skateboard?"

"Yeah, all the time," he nods and I smile.

"That's really cool. I've always wanted to learn how," I say.

"It's harder than it looks, but I'm sure you could get the hang of it," he says positively.

"Yeah, maybe," I say and I know the conversation is dying. "Are you from around here?"

"No, I'm from out of town," he says. I frown a little at this, sad that there's a low chance of this moving forward much. "And you?"

"Born and raised here," I say.

"That's nice," he says. "I know I don't live here, but maybe we could still hang out together? If you're cool with that?"

I bite my lip and blush, actually very glad to hear that. I'm happy he seems to like me as much as I like him. "Yeah, that's very cool."

"Great," his face lights up with a smile, which makes me smile widely, too; it's infectious. "It's hard to teach you to skateboard on sand, unfortunately. Uh, any ideas of what you want to do?" An idea pops into my head.

"This may be too cheesy," I smile, "but we could walk down the beach and get to know each other better?" I'm unsure if this is a good plan, but Robby nods,

"Hey, cheesy sounds great."

"Okay. I'm just going to go tell my friend," I say as a safety precaution, in case I don't come back for some reason. Robby nods and I rush over to Jess and she smiles brightly.

"Well? How did it go?" she asks me.

"We're going to walk down by the ocean together," I say excitedly.

"Oh my God! That's awesome," she says. "You'll have to fill me in later."

"Promise," I nod.

"Now go have fun," she says and I smile before jogging back over to Robby.

I smile softly at the memory as my eyes flutter closed and I drift to sleep.

⭒⭒⭒

"Zion," an evil voice calls and I spin around to find her. It's then that I realize I'm in her Reseda apartment. The memories these walls store... The terror this place brings me... "Zion, why did you leave me?"

"You kicked me out," I say in fear.

"You left me all alone," she emerges from the dark hallway where the bedrooms are. "You're a disappointment and your father would agree."

My breathing heightens as she takes a step closer and I see what's in her hand. A knife.

"S-Stay away from me," I say in a panic and run to get out the door. It's locked. I shake the knob, but there's no way to unlock it.

"I'm alive and you decide to forget about me anyway?" another voice speaks up. Zombie Miguel walks toward me from the living room.

"I... I... You're better off without me," I say softly.

"Liar!" he yells and I jump back, hitting something. Someone.

"You're so sexy," the figure behind me says and holds me tightly by the waist with my back to his chest. "Why don't we have some fun. You want me, right? Everyone says you're a slut, so why not own up to that and... help me out, babygirl?"

I feel something hard rub my ass and I panic. I take this man off-guard and do a shoulder throw to slam him on his back on the ground. It's a man with a blank face that was touching me; a John Doe, if you will.

"Help me! Help me, please," a little girl runs over to me. "Why did my daddy hurt me?" She looks up at me with wide eyes of fear and I begin shaking.

"I-I don't know..." I say and reach over to give her a hug and comfort her and tell her everything is okay, but she disappears like an illusion and I'm left with nothing. "Where'd you go?"

"I guess you'll never know," Janice approaches me and raises the knife.

She throws it and I feel it in my stomach. I look down to see blood everywhere. The pain is unbearable and I fall to my knees with a scream of agony.

"You could have been a better daughter..." Janice spits.

"...a better student..." I look over to see Sensei Lawrence approaching me.

"...a better best friend..." Miguel says.

"...a better girlfriend..." Hawk walks out of the shadows and I freeze.

"...a better fighter..." Sensei Kreese comes from the other direction.

"...and given into what you wanted," the unknown male figure is suddenly standing by Janice.

I can't move and they all come closer and closer and closer, circling around me. I try to touch the knife to help my wound, but my hands just become covered in blood.

"I-I tried my best," I say weakly and they all laugh.

"You're a liar and a cheater," Hawk laughs wickedly.

"I didn't cheat on you. I didn't mean to lie to you. I swear. I love you, Eli," I plead and he bends down to look at me in the face.

"I know you do, Zion," he nods and tears fall down my face as he lifts my chin. "Too bad I don't love you back."

He lets go of me and stands up; a sob escapes my mouth and Janice laughs, "You're a shitty person and everyone knows it." I groan in pain as I try to stay alive and get the knife out.

"I said I did my best!" I say again, not even believing myself.

"Your best isn't shit," a voice speaks up and the figure walks forward. He has a broken expression and his eyes are cold and dead. Robby. "Look at what happened to me."

"You could have saved us all," Miguel says.

I look at all these people in shock as tears stream down my face. Miguel takes another step forward and looks deep into my eyes as he pushes the knife deeper.

"And now you can't even save yourself."

⭒⭒⭒

I jump off the mats, my whole body forcing me to stand up and move around as the terror lingers from the nightmare. It wasn't real, but that's the worst one I've had yet.

I sob and bite the knuckles on my hand to stop myself from crying out, but it doesn't work. I try to shake out my feelings, but that doesn't work, either. Screams of panic uncontrollably take over and I feel the empty dojo walls closing in on me. It's almost pitch black in here, it's empty, and I don't know what to do. I cross my arms and curl into myself for comfort as I begin to hyperventilate and my chest burns; I'm all I have left now.

After taking a few agonizing minutes to regain control of most of my body, I walk over to the punching bag again and decide I won't be sleeping tonight, either. I don't want to ever sleep again.

⭒⭒⭒

"Good morning," Sensei Kreese walks through the door.

It's six am and I have been keeping myself busy all night, refusing to go back to sleep. I am ready for school already and I cleaned the dojo and I trained a lot. Keeping myself busy is important.

"Hello, Sensei," I say and put down the weights I was lifting.

"You cleaned up in here. Thank you," he says and I nod. "You have school today?"

"Yes, Sensei," I say. He nods and I decide to ask him about what I've decided. "Last night you said you want me to be a good and smart fighter, for me not to lose. I'm sorry I was rude when I ended the conversation, but I want you to know that I am committed to Cobra Kai and I would like to learn more from you."

"You do?"

"I can't have something like that happen ever again and the lessons in here are really applicable to the real world... I-I don't want to lose again," I say.

"I think I can accommodate ya'. Are you sure you want to go all in?" he questions.

"I'm positive," I nod and he crosses his arms, taking a step closer.

"What was that, Z?" he asks.

"Yes, Sensei," I correct myself and fix my stance.

"You can do better than that. Are you sure you are ready for the next level of training?" he yells.

"Yes, Sensei!" I match his volume and he nods.

"Good. The road to victory will not be easy, but it is necessary," he begins, standing in front of me with his arms crossed. "Is it true you cried last night, Z?"

"Yes, Sensei...?" I say firmly but more as a question, wondering why this is relevant.

"There is no time for tears in a war. Every second you waste crying is one person dead. Every minute you spend wasting in regret is hesitation. Hesitation causes you to lose," Sensei Kreese says loudly.

I stand still, trying to make sense of all of this. My mind runs in circles around me with the bad and scary thoughts, but I focus on my sensei's words. He's going to help me.

"Don't doubt yourself. You need to keep fighting. True cobras don't care what others think or do. It's all or nothing. Emotions have no place on a battlefield," he says. "Got that?"

"Yes, Sensei," I say.

"The moment those tears leave your eyes, you lose. And I don't teach losers. Do you understand, Z?"

"Yes, Sensei." It's hard to stay emotionally closed off when someone yells at you, but I learned well with Janice and I guess in some twisted way she was preparing me for life.

"I can't hear you," he walks around me.

"Yes, Sensei," I yell, trying to keep myself from showing any emotion.

"The world doesn't care about your life story. It's weak versus strong. Winners against losers. There are no losers in this dojo. Do I make myself clear?" he yells.

I ball my fists in anger, my nails digging into my skin. I've lost far too many times. I never want to lose again. I don't want to disappoint Sensei Kreese. I don't want to disappoint myself. Not again.

"Yes, Sensei," I respond.

"Then what are you?" he asks as he circles back in front of me.

"I'm a winner, Sensei," I say.

I see the look on his face that says he doesn't believe me. It fills me with rage. "You're a what?"

I feel tears brimming, but I blink them away. The pressure in my chest rises, but I work through it. I will overcome this because I am strong. I'm determined to make him believe me, to make myself believe me.

"I'm a winner, Sensei."

"Louder," he yells.

"I'm a winner!" 

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: Oh shit.

This was an insane chapter to write, as you can imagine. I've done so many rewrites for this chapter ugh. You all seemed kind of excited to have a darker turn in this story, so I'm actually happy I got to stick with my original plot line for season 3.

The next chapter is a doozy haha. Zion realizes how easy high school is compared to the real world and if you mix that in with a soccer game... Well, you'll see;)

Also, thoughts on her and Robby meeting up in this chapter?

Have a good day/night and stay hydrated... sorry for the sadness.