Chapter Twenty-Nine: There Are Worse Things I Could Do

"I'm the one who burned us down, but it's not what I meant. I'm sorry that I hurt you."

~Afterglow by Taylor Swift~

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Revised: July 16, 2022

Warnings: panic attacks, anxiety, depression, abuse, domestic violence, sexual harassment/assault, language, violence, and other mature themes

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Zion's POV

I drive Miguel to Cobra Kai the next day, anxiety running through my body. I don't want to see Hawk. I don't want to go anywhere, but Miguel convinced me to go. And anyway, it would look weak for me to not go. It would give Hawk the satisfaction of knowing he broke my heart; I don't want to play the victim.

I've worked so hard to not be that weak girl that I have to go in there and act like everything is okay. I've earned respect at the dojo and I've gotten close to crying there before, so I have to be really careful to not slip up today. The boys seem to finally have a good amount of respect for me and I will not let that go away.

I'll just push my feelings aside; that's probably the best option anyway, due to how embarrassing it was last night. Carmen was sweet, but I am really glad I decided to work through it on my own. I don't even know if I wanted to talk about it because if I ever think about the breakup, I feel like I might collapse and I can't let that happen. Maybe things won't be so bad today if I completely ignore him.

"Okay, what about Friday?" Miguel asks Tory, trying to schedule their date night. I only pay a little bit of attention to the conversation so I can distance myself from Hawk when he makes it here.

He isn't here yet, but I highly doubt he will miss training. It means as much to him as it does to me. I'm sure he'll be here, despite our awful breakup. I'm sure he doesn't want to see me and I don't want to see him. It still aggravates me that he didn't listen when I told him I didn't cheat on him.

"I can't. I'm working at the roller rink," Tory tells Miguel. I start working on my stretches, trying to get my body warm and focus on karate rather than boy troubles.

"Let's turn it into a date night then," Miguel suggests. I hate that I'm here, listening to them talk about romantic stuff, but I'm not close with anybody else besides Aisha and she isn't here yet. So, I'm stuck listening to these lovebirds.

"A candle light dinner at the snack bar on my break?" Tory asks with a laugh.

"There's nothing more romantic than free hot dogs and chicken nugs," Miguel says.

Don't get me wrong, I really love them together as a couple and I'm happy for Tory and Miguel, but this lovey-dovey talk is making me want to push my head through a wall.

"Free? Not for you. You got to pay up," Tory says.

Miguel frowns, "I'll splurge."

"All right, but you got to wear a costume. It's '80s night," she informs him.

"Are you kidding? I love the '80s. Dibs on Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science," Miguel says. I look at him in question.

"I don't think you have to call dibs on that," Tory says and I let out a small laugh. My best friend is a dork, but I love him.

Suddenly, I hear the door open and I glance toward it, looking a little bit over my shoulder but not enough so anybody notices. I pray that it's Aisha, but of course it isn't.

Hawk walks in and puts his stuff down, taking off his shoes. He doesn't look up at all and I take that chance to turn away and toy with my snake ring. I forgot to take it off. I suppose now it's just a nervous habit of mine. Tory looks at me as he comes in. I think she can tell something is off with me, but I don't think Miguel has informed her of what happened.

"One sec," Miguel says and starts to get up. I grab his hand,

"You're not going to talk to him about..."

"No, no. I have to apologize about the medal yesterday and getting upset. I gave him a pretty good kick to the face," Miguel says and gets up to walk over and talk to him.

"What was that about?" Tory asks me in concern.

"Hawk and I broke up," I say quickly, "but I don't want to talk about it."

She widens her eyes, "You broke up? But you guys were so good together. What happened? Oh, did he find out about Robby?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it," I say tensely. I don't mean to be rude to Tory, but thinking about the situation is not going to help anything.

"Okay. Well, I was going to suggest a double date, but uh..." I glare at her and she nods, realizing that what she's saying is a bad idea. "Obviously that's not going to happen. But you look like you could use a night out. How about you come with Miguel and I to the roller rink."

"Oh, no. I don't want to third wheel you guys," I say and she nods.

"I totally get that. Maybe you aren't the third wheel... I could set you up with a date," she suggests.

I shake my head, "I don't want to date. I'm fine just staying at Miguel's and watching sad movies."

"Well, I am definitely not letting you do that. You are going to come with us and I'm going to help you find the perfect costume for '80s night," she says.

"Tory, I really don't-"

"You're my girl. I'm going to help you out. You helped me and Miguel get together, so I'm going to help you through this break up," she smiles and I nod, knowing that there's no way to argue with her about this. I don't have the energy to.

"Fine. I'll go roller skating, but I have the right to leave anytime I want," I bargain.

"If you aren't having a fun time, of course you can go," she nods.

"Thank you, Tory," I tell her.

"I am going to make you look hot as fuck," she smirks.

"Everybody, fall in," Sensei Lawrence walks out of his office. I stand up and begin to walk to my spot, almost running into Hawk. I tense and we look at each other as I put my head down and walk to the other side of the mat.

"Hey, this is my spot," one of the guys say.

I turn to him with a glare, "It's mine now. Get a new one." He raises his eyebrows, but doesn't challenge me. He knows I could beat his ass, especially after Coyote Creek yesterday. I still don't feel like a winner, though.

"Today we'll be learning one of the most important lessons a Cobra Kai could ever know," Sensei Lawrence says as I try to pull myself together and get ready to focus on training and only training.

"Where is Sensei Kreese?" I hear Hawk say. I frown, not even wanting to hear his voice. But he does have a point because I don't see the older sensei here at all.

"Yeah. Shouldn't we wait for the sensei emeritus before we get going?" Stingray asks. Sensei Lawrence throws a stare his way and it's not a good one. I wonder what happened. "Or not," Stingray exhales.

"Mr. Kreese will no longer be joining us," Sensei Lawrence says and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I turn to look at Miguel in confusion, but end up meeting Hawk's eyes when he looks at Miguel, as well. I immediately turn away. I hate this. It's so awkward.

"Seriously?" I hear somebody whisper.

"I made a promise when I became your sensei. To always look out for your best interests. Despite how hard this may be for all of us, he didn't have our best interests at heart. John Kreese may have founded Cobra Kai, but he no longer represents what this dojo stands for. His Cobra Kai was old and outdated. He refused to move forward. What happens when we do that, Mr Diaz?" Sensei Lawrence says and turns to Miguel.

"You get stuck like cement," Miguel says and I frown.

"Exactly," Sensei Lawrence confirms.

I don't understand why it's so bad to not move forward. Change sucks. I think that Sensei Lawrence made a mistake because he pushed away the man who knew what it took to be a great fighter. Now we have Sensei Lawrence who goes back and forth between when to and when not to show mercy. It actually makes me a little bit upset, but I suppose there's nothing I can do about it.

"To be a great fighter, you got to learn to adapt. This creed on the wall," he looks at it, "follow it to the letter, it'll make you strong. It'll make you formidable. It will also make you an asshole."

I stare in shock when he says that. Following that does not make anybody an asshole. I think it just makes us stronger and it's what we need in the real world.

"'Cause that's just black paint on a white wall. But life's not black and white. More often than not, it's gray. And it's in those great areas that where Johnny Lawrence's Cobra Kai sometimes shows mercy."

Somehow his interior design choices are a lesson about life? Give me a break. A lesson about life is how you handle situations like your abusive mom kicking you out. Or when someone insults you and you have to show them up. Or when somebody breaks up with you. And the fact that he's saying we sometimes have to show mercy is bullshit to me.

I want to believe that he's right, but so far I haven't had much proof of that. I won at Coyote Creek yesterday because I didn't show mercy. Stingray was actually a really good fighter for once because he showed no mercy under Sensei Kreese. I think Sensei Lawrence is making a big mistake.

"Doesn't mean you can't be badass. It's still a requirement. But you have to learn to think with not just your gut or your fists but to really use," he knocks on his head, "this." We all stand in silence, watching him as he turns to continue. "Which leads me to today's lesson." He picks up a wooden board and then smashes it against his head. "Grab a partner."

I look around, not knowing who to team up with. I see Hawk turn around to look for somebody, as well. I know he would have been my partner had we still been together. I try to push the thought away, not wanting to get upset here. I turn to find Miguel and realize he's already paired up with Tory. Aisha has a partner she's talking to; I don't know when she got here. I frown and look around the class for somebody to pair with. Then I see somebody who is unsure of their partner, as well.

"Big Red," I say and he turns to me in confusion. He actually looks a little bit startled and I smile. He's tall and it's actually kind of cool how he's scared of me. "Partners?"

He nods, unsure of what's happening. I glance over to see Hawk with Assface. He said the guys here like me and he was jealous of that, so I wonder what would happen if I were to take advantage of that fact.

"All right. Tuck in your chin and aim for the nose with the crown of your head," Sensei demonstrates on another piece of wood.

I turn to my partner with a smirk, "Hit me with your best shot," I tell him. He looks at me nervously. "What? Scared to hit a girl? I'm your equal in here."

"Right," he says nervously and I prepare for him to lean forward and hit me. He does after a moment of hesitation, but it's a weak attempt that I stop with my hand. He looks at me in confusion, "What?"

"I can take a hit," I tell him with a flirty smirk.

"O-Okay," he says and preps to try again. It's definitely quicker and harder this time and I fall back from the impact. It hurts a bit, but I'm fine. "A-Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I nod.

I look over to see Hawk head butting Stingray. Big Red offers me a hand up and I wait for Hawk to look over here, but I think he's ignoring me. I'll have to make him look. I accept Big Red's hand and jump up, falling forward into him a little bit. I make it look like an accident, but giggle a little.

In my peripheral vision I see Hawk glancing over and his face turns angry when he sees Big Red in my personal space.

"Sorry," I blush and Big Red looks at me in confusion and a bit of amusement.

"No problem," he says, but then anxiously looks over at Hawk.

It's then that I realize the guys here respect Hawk and have a bro code and he's either worried about breaking it or getting his ass beat by Hawk.

I take his chin to turn his head towards me and his eyes widen in surprise, "Hawk and I broke up. You don't need to worry about that."

He nods at my assurance, his smile growing a bit as I drop my hand from his face, but he still looks worried. I'm not getting anywhere with him. Damn. 

"Okay, your turn," Big Red tells me.

"All right," I smirk. I get ready to aim at him and then look over to see Hawk laughing with his friends, as if he isn't sad about what happened, as if it doesn't matter, as if I don't matter. It throws me off my game and I feel emotions wash over me. I try to keep my thoughts away.

I can't breakdown here.

"Hey," Tory walks over with a smile, snapping me out of it. "Are you okay?" She looks at me in concern, then looks at my partner. I completely spaced out and forgot about him.

"Yeah, sorry," I say. "Ready?" Red nods and I channel all of my anger into the head butt. My forehead hits perfectly and Red falls back with a thud. It's not much different from when I played soccer.

"Ow," he says. I smile a little. I've still got it.

"Where's Miguel?" I ask Tory who no longer is with her partner.

"He went to go talk to Sensei," she explains and I nod. "What do you think about Sensei Kreese leaving?"

"He didn't leave. It sounds like Sensei Lawrence kicked him out," I say bitterly. "He can't just keep changing the rules like that."

"Yeah, I agree. Sensei Kreese was tough, but he obviously knew what he was doing. I don't know Sensei Lawrence as well as you, but sometimes I question his methods," Tory whispers.

"I feel the same way."

"Anyway, we need to figure out a costume for you tomorrow night," she tells me, changing the topic.

"Yeah, I don't know if I want to go," I say.

"You have to. I'm going to be Madonna," she smiles.

"You'll look amazing, I'm sure," I say.

"You will, too. I have a few ideas; I'll see what I can find in my mom's old clothes and bring them here tomorrow so you can change and go straight there with me," Tory says.

"I don't know, Tory. I'm really not into the whole roller skating vibe. It's too... happy for me," I say and glance over at a happy Hawk again.

"I am going to help you get over him," she assures me. I nod, but deep down I know I don't want to. I just want him back.

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"Hey, I'm going to go help sensei work on a dating app after class today. Wanna come with?" Miguel asks me in Cobra Kai the next day.

"Actually, I'm going to help Z get ready for the roller rink tonight," Tory says.

"Okay, sounds good," Miguel nods.

"You got me a costume?" I ask.

"Of course I did. It's perfect. I think it's actually from 1978, but close enough," she smiles.

I glance over at Hawk who is with the guys again. I don't have a bond with them like he does, but at least Aisha, Tory, and Miguel are here for me.

"Hey, Miguel! Come look at this," Hawk holds up his phone and yells over to the Ecuadorian boy.

Miguel looks at me and I nod that it's okay for him to go.

"A costume for what?" Aisha asks curiously.

"80s night at the roller rink. It's going to help Z get over Hawk," Tory says.

"Yeah, what happened with you two? I thought it was going well," Aisha frowns.

"I thought so, too. But... Hawk found out about me and Robby still being in contact and flipped out," I say.

"Oh my God," Aisha says. I know from the beginning she didn't want this to happen; I should have listened to her, I guess.

"Wait, he did? Did that bitch Sam LaRusso tell him?" Tory asks angrily.

"No. He snooped through my phone," I say and she widens her eyes.

"That's a jerk move," she says. 

"You should have been honest with him," Aisha adds. "But, I guess the damage is done."

"I just hate how it ended. He doesn't trust me anymore; he doesn't want me anymore," I say and try to fight back the tears. Aisha leans on my shoulder to comfort me and Tory grabs my hand. I have such good friends. "I wish there were some way I could get him to forgive me, to see that I didn't mean it."

"That's when my idea comes in," Tory smiles mischievously.

"What do you mean?"

"You will be wearing the iconic black cat suit that Sandy wore at the end of Grease," Tory says proudly.

"Badass. You'll look so hot in that," Aisha supports me.

"I'm going to do your hair and makeup and everything. I just hope the costume fits, but you know... I had an idea that will mess with Hawk's head," Tory tells me with a smirk on her face.

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Everybody is about to leave the dojo, but Tory insisted I run to the bathroom and change ASAP. Tory and Aisha also quickly style my hair and add red lipstick. My platinum blonde hair compliments the outfit very well.

It's a strapless, skin-tight costume with red heels and it gives me the confidence I've been missing since the breakup. My idea was to add my dad's black leather jacket over it to be more accurate to the movie. Tory wants me to walk out before Hawk leaves and "show him what he's missing."

"Are you coming?" Aisha goes to open the door.

"I don't know. Isn't this a little much?" I ask in concern.

"No way. A little drama never killed anybody. Come on out before he leaves," Tory says. "Just trust me, Z." I open the door. "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks," I say and she pushes me towards the dojo's main room.

I carry the heelss to not disrespect the dojo and strut by everybody to get my things like Tory said. I feel all eyes on me, seeing Hawk freeze and look my way. 

"Ready to go, babe?" Tory asks Miguel who nods and looks at me in question as I approach my bag.

"Yeah. Um, is that your costume for tonight?" Miguel asks and I nod. "It's a little... much, don't you think?"

"Don't get overprotective on me now," I roll my eyes at him.

"She looks sexy as hell," Tory grabs her bag. "Don't you think?"

"I'd rather not answer that," Miguel averts his gaze. Aisha and I exchange a bright smile.

"I hope you guys have fun tonight. I'll be babysitting my niece and nephews," Aisha frowns.

"What's happening tonight?" Hawk walks over and makes it clear he's speaking to everyone except me.

"We're going to the skating rink for 80s night," Miguel says, obviously uncomfortable with the current situation. This is the closest Hawk and I have been since the breakup, despite not even talking to each other.

"Being a third wheel, huh?" Hawk asks and it's then that I realize he's directed at me. As much of a dig at me it is, I know I can hold my own.

"No, I'm hoping to meet somebody there. Tory told me she has some pretty hot coworkers," I say with a smirk and Hawk looks upset and angry.

"What, were you cheating on me with them, too?" he asks and I tense at the remark. I want to say or do something, but instead my insides just feel like collapsing.

"I didn't cheat on you," I say in a soft and direct tone. This leaves awkwardness around the group and I feel badly.

"We should get going," Tory says after a moment.

I nod, bending over to grab my things and slipping on the pumps I borrowed.  I feel the boys still staring at me as we walk out of the dojo and to my car. I'm flattered and also a little uncomfortable.

"Well, that was... special," Tory says and I nod.

"I can't believe he called me out for something I didn't even do in front of the whole fucking dojo," I say on the verge of a breakdown.

"I'm so sorry, Z," she says.

I shrug, not wanting to talk much anymore. Tory senses this and turns on the radio as I pull out of Cobra Kai. We're going to get ready at the roller rink before her shift starts; I owe her one.

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Eli's POV

"It sucks that you broke up," Assface sympathizes with me. "She's an evil woman."

"Where did the girls go, anyway?" Big Red turns and looks around the dojo filled with only boys.

"I'm surprised you didn't notice, based on how close you two were earlier," I call him out. I have to admit I felt jealous because being mad doesn't mean I don't still have feelings for her.

"Z fell into me, man. Swear," Big Red stutters nervously.

I nod, "I believe you."

"I don't know why she chose Robby over you," Assface scoffs. I feel the pain of a needle being stabbed through my heart.

Suddenly, all the girls emerge from the back room and I see Z behind all of them. She sticks out in her black bodysuit that hugs her curves...

Why the fuck am I noticing how hot she looks?

I look away.

"Damn," one of the newer Cobras whispers. 

I see everyone looking at her. You'd think they'd never seen a woman before. To be fair, the chances are that half of them haven't.

"I'd never let her go if I had her," another laughs with his friend.

"Hey," I glare at them, "don't talk about her like that."

"She deserves it for what she did to you," Assface speaks up. "She broke a commandment."

I look over at her as she talks to Miguel. I wonder what bullshit she told him. I'm not losing my best friend over this.

"Cheating isn't a commandment," Mikey argues.

"Yeah, it is: adultery," Assface points out.

"I thought that meant like, you know, being a bad adult," Mikey realizes.

I'm walking away from their stupidity and over to Miguel.

"I hope you guys have fun tonight. I'll be babysitting my niece and nephews," Aisha tells them.

"What's happening tonight?" I look between Aisha and Miguel, trying to ignore Z entirely.

"We're going to the skating rink for 80s night," Miguel explains.

I can feel everyone's watchful eyes on me as I hijack their conversation. I glance over at Z as she picks at the ring I gave her. I figure that maybe I can make her hurt like she hurt me, so I let the words come out before I think.

"Being a third wheel, huh?"

Z looks at me in shock for a moment before collecting herself.  "No, I'm hoping to meet somebody there. Tory told me she has some pretty hot coworkers."

I try to hold in my surprise at how indifferent she seems after the past few days tore me apart. "What, were you cheating on me with them, too?"

I can feel the group's dismay as I say it. I don't care. Everyone deserves to know what awful thing she did to me.

"I didn't cheat on you," she responds. It's the first time all day that I see emotion from her and I almost feel guilty. Almost.

"We should get going," Tory interjects and pulls Z away from us. 

They walk out the doors. Miguel and Aisha give me disapproving looks, but I turn away to go get my stuff and leave, too, before they can talk to me. I have a feeling they're on her side in the midst of all of this.

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A/N: So, I guess you can tell at this point Sensei Kreese has already gotten to Z. Interesting.

I also think it's safe to say Hawk was a dick in this chapter. 

The next chapter has a good amount of drama in it... Okay, the rest of the season is non-stop drama tbh. I'm so excited to write out the rest of season 2 because I think I have some pretty good ideas!