Chapter Negative Seven: Hiding

"Heartbeats, racing, tracing what it's been craving. I can't help but want it, don't know how to admit."

~warmer by Bea Miller~

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Warnings: abuse, addiction, domestic violence, hospitals/medical things, homophobia, language, smut, substance abuse, underage drinking, and other mature themes

This chapter has a lot of smut, but also talks a bit about Robby's past so Zion can understand him, so I'd definitely read this one.

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Zion's POV

Robby and I are once again not paying attention to the movie we chose. Well, I chose it. He settled for it and now we're making out on the couch.

His hand slides up my shorts while I yank his hair to pull him so close to me.

"You're so beautiful," he plants kisses down my neck and to my collarbone.

"Mmm," I moan in response, thoroughly enjoying the pleasure he's giving me. But, I feel like it may be his turn now.

He nibbles all around my sweet spot on my neck, causing me to shift my position to give him better access. 

Then, he loses his balance on me and accidentally rolls off the couch and to the floor.

He bursts out into laughter within a moment and I lean over to look at him.

"Are you okay?" I ask in concern.

"I'm great," he assures me, still collapsed on the ground. "Kind of hungry, though."

"Hungry?" I ask. "We just ate not long ago."

"I know, but what can I say? I'm a growing boy," he stands up with a charming smile I know I can't say no to.

"All right," I hold out my hand so he'll help me off the couch to stand up. "Let's go check the pantry."

We walk into the kitchen and I open the wooden door to reveal our stocked pantry.

"Wow, you actually have food," he says softly.

"Yeah," I say, wondering why that's so surprising.

"Usually I just have some stale cereal when I want a snack," he looks behind some cans of food.

"Oh," I frown. "Well, we may have some of that."

"I have no clue what to choose," he sighs, taking in the large amount of food.

"While you do that, I'll go grab some waters," I say and walk by him, bumping into him a little. I look down and realize I kind of hit his butt, "Sorry."

He nods as I move to the other side of the kitchen, but not before admiring his body, including his ass. He's just built so... perfectly.

I take the waters from the fridge and then turn back to see him bending over to look at the bottom of the pantry. I set the drinks down when I get an idea.

A/N: Smut begins here;)

I walk behind him, bringing my hands around his waist. He stands upright now as I press kisses onto his exposed neck, "Hi."

"Hey," he turns around to me with a smile.

"Find anything?" I ask and he shrugs. "Well, I was thinking... I want to repay you for the other night."

"Is that so?" he asks and I nod, setting my hands on the waistband of his pants.

"Can I?" I ask with a small smirk when I see his face flush a deep red.

"Yeah," he nods, waiting for me to make a move.

So, I touch him through his pants and cup his dick and he moans softly.

"You're so sexy, Robby," I lightly grab his dick now.

He sets his hand on my shoulder and presses down, "Get on your knees."

I look at him in shock, but I don't hesitate another moment before moving in front of him. He leans against the kitchen counter as I kneel in front of him. I look up at him innocently and he nods in approval.

"Take them off," he says, referring to his pants.

I bite my lip nervously and pull them down. I see the print very well now through the underwear and I fear I won't fit all of him in my mouth. Still, I pull down his boxers and his cock springs out and hits his stomach. Robby lets out a small moan and I see the precum already on the tip. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited.

"Go on," Robby says. 

I take his dick and stroke him ever so slowly, running my hand down his shaft from base to tip. I collect some of the precum on my fingers and bring it to my mouth, looking up at Robby as I lightly lick it off.

"Stop teasing me," he grabs my hair roughly and yanks me forward so I can't pull away even if I wanted to, which I don't. I breathe heavily on his dick, eliciting a sexy moan from him. "Suck."

I glance up at Robby and bat my eyelashes, wanting him to be rougher with me.

"Make me."

And in that instant Robby shoves his cock into my open mouth, fucking my throat.

"Suck," he commands and yanks my hair even tighter, knowing now that it turns me on.

My scalp burns a little as he does so and I mold my lips around him. My tongue swirls around the part inside of me and my hands stroke the length that doesn't fit.

I do my best to keep up based on what I've seen in porn because I've never done one of these before.

"Ohhh," Robby moans softly, not afraid to express himself with me. "Keep going, Zion."

I internally smirk at him moaning my name in pleasure as my knees ache on the ground. I grab his hips and slide it out a little bit, pressing sensual kisses all over the tip.

His hand releases my hair and they grasp the counter behind him instead now, his veins on full display. I look up to see his mouth open and his eyes closed. Fuck, he is so hot.

"I think you'd enjoy this more if you looked at me," I say lustfully. My breath is hot and coats his dick, leaving him in pure ecstasy.

He takes this moment to finally look down at me and that's when I reinsert his length into my mouth quickly. He groans and thrusts his hips now, gagging me hard. I try to keep up with his pace and satisfy him as his hands entangle in my hair.

"You're so good at this," he moans. "I-I'm so close." I feel my body heat up with arousal as his breathless moans echo through the kitchen. His dick twitches, telling me he's ready. "Let me cum in your mouth, babe."

My hands stroke him again and he quickly releases into my mouth, his hot juices flooding me. I suck them in as he slowly pulls out, panting. I look up to see sweat on his forehead as he looks down at me in pleasure, his stance weaker now.

I make direct eye contact as I swallow his cum and can see he adores that.

"You... were perfect," he pants as he comes down from his high still.

I stand up from my knees and he sets his hands on my waist. His right hand moves up and wipes a little of the dripping cum off my lips.

"You liked that?" I ask a little insecurely.

"I loved it," he pecks my lips. "Thanks."

I smile a little, but shift uncomfortably when I realize I don't know what comes next. Now, I'm aroused. He really is into this sexual stuff, but I can't say I'm not, too. He's right. This was perfect and now I want it to be even better.

A/N: Sexual content over.

"So," he clears his throat after a solid minute of staring at each other awkwardly, "Doritos?"

"Got it," I turn away and reach over for the bag in the pantry. 

"Great," he takes the bag from me and I grab a bowl. "Did you want to rewind Clueless so you can actually watch it this time?"

"It's not like I haven't seen it a bunch," I say. "Besides, I'd rather have some quality time with you, you know... while we can."

"And what quality time do you mean?" he asks with a smile as he eats the red Doritos.

"I think you know," I lean over the counter with a smirk.

"All right," he grabs a paper towel and wipes his hands off before coming over to my side. "I'm guessing you want me as much as I want you?"

"Yes," I whisper as he pulls my hips to meet his. I feel him excited for this once again.

"Those guys were right tonight, you know?" he offers an explanation.

"About what?" I ask, remembering his awful roommates for the summer.

"I've never had anything steady before," he admits softly. "It's always been a one night stand situation."

"Oh," I say. "Is that why you left early that one time?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Well, not entirely. I did have something to do with Trey and Cruz."

"And... the one night stands? Do you know why you do that?" I ask, trying to understand him better. He's gorgeous, sweet, and considerate, but at the same time he hasn't expressed loyalty in the past? It's complicated.

"It started off as a..." he struggles to find the words, "a way to impress the guys. They started taking me to parties when I was, like, thirteen and from there I just learned how they operated. When I fell in deep with them, it was hard to stop."

"How do they operate?" I ask in confusion.

"Not a good way," he admits. "They're actually super misogynistic and they put me through stuff I don't want to do. But, it's a way of surviving sometimes and I know I'd be lost without them. They're like brothers, like the closest thing to a real father I've ever had. Otherwise, I have no influence."

"That... That seems like a bad situation to be in," I frown, looping my hands behind his neck and looking into his eyes for a better read on him.

"It is. And, I don't try to treat girls the way they do. It rubs me the wrong way, but I got into drinking and smoking and then I'm roped into taking some random girl to a private area and... I'm trying to be better," he admits. 

"I can tell you are," I nod. "You've treated me with kindness and respect this whole time, Robby. I appreciate it."

"I just don't have a good grasp on my emotions or my actions," he sighs. "I hurt everyone I get attached to..."

I look down, realizing he even could mean me. 

"I guess that's part of my dad somehow in me. I can be an ass... just like him," he grunts in frustration and pulls away from me, running his hand through his hair.

I'm stunned, not knowing what to even say. I didn't quite expect to be a therapist today.

"When I realized I wasn't good enough, I fell into this lifestyle that I honestly don't think fits me. But, with you, it's easy to feel like myself. Like, who I want to be. It's easy with your friends to relax, to let my inhibitions go, to not feel like I'm not good enough, to feel like I let my dad down, like I let my mom down and that's why even she doesn't pay attention to me," he has his back turned to me and I can tell he's crying a little.

"I'm happy I can help," I walk over and place my hand on his shoulder from behind.

"You know..." he turns around, his eyes only watery right now, "I should probably go."

"What?" I ask in confusion.

"I didn't..." he sighs and his voice breaks.

"Robby," I wrap him in a hug and he hugs back in surprise. "It's okay to relax and be honest here, okay? I'm not judging you. I brought you here because I have so much fun with you, truly."

"I'm sorry," his voice muffles into my shoulder as I hold him.

"You don't have to run out with me," I assure him. "I'm here for you."

It's hard being a rock for him when I'm about to crumble into dust, but I know that he needs me as much as I need him right now.

I'm his new therapist for the night and he's my escape from my parents. We work well together and the other times are fun, too. It's all right to get personal and know each other's vulnerability, I guess.

"Do you want to go back and watch the movie?" I suggest after a moment.

"Sure," he pulls out of the hug, looking normal once more. It's like he never even cried. "Thanks for being there for me."

"You can come to me with anything," I nod, taking his hand and leading him back into the living room.

Since the sexual tension is broken as of now, I just lay on him under a blanket as we finish Clueless. But, I'm not paying attention. Instead, my mind is worrying about Robby and how he lives. I'm concerned for his well-being, especially based on the way he describes his "friends." 

But, once the credits roll, Robby and I both sit up half asleep and look at each other. I don't know what to say. My mom could come home soon, but I don't want to kick Robby out.

"Um, should I head out?" he asks.

"I'm not sure how my mom would react to you being alone in the house with me," I nod in agreement. He looks kind of sad. "Unless..."

"Unless?" he looks at me in confusion.

"Unless you hid," I smile.

"Like, in a cheesy romcom?" he also cracks a small smile.

"I thought cheesy was our thing," I lean closer to his face, not wanting him to go and kind of wanting the thrill of rebellion without getting in trouble.

"Okay," he nods. "But, first..."

He leans in and kisses me passionately, gripping my hip. I move onto his lap and feel his abs as he dominates the kiss, biting my lip and making me moan.

We pull away for air and he speaks up, "Damn, I love doing that."

"I love it, too," I blush and we stare into each other's eyes. His beautiful, reflective eyes connect with mine and something changes.

No. I'm imagining things. I'm fine and the same as I was a few minutes ago.

Then, I hear a buzzing sound from the other side of the house and everything inside of me turns to panic.

"No, no, no," I stand up, "that's my mom." I can hear the garage opening.

"Oh," Robby jumps to his feet as I try to control my body's shaking.

"Go up to my room a-and hide in my closet," I turn to him.

"What?" he asks in amusement.

"Just go," I push him towards the stairs and he glances back at me in bewilderment. "Please, please hurry. She'll kill me if she notices that I have a boy here alone."

He nods and rushes up the stairs in a hurry, but I know deep down that I'm not exaggerating much. She could want to kill me, depending on how drunk she is tonight... It's not like she hasn't threatened serious bodily harm before.

Robby isn't the only one with problems, but mine aren't enough to talk about. I know I'll be okay. I do deserve the threats and the hits sometimes. I'm not a perfect child, so I get her frustration.

I turn Clueless back on and pretend I'm watching it alone as she comes through the door and closes it relatively loudly, causing me to jump.

"Hello, Lion," she announces as she walks into the kitchen and sets down the keys to my car.

"Hi," I respond, anxious about Robby being upstairs.

"Why is there a bag of Doritos left laying out?" she asks in an accusatory tone. "You know I hate the kitchen not being spotless. There is so much time I spend caring for your father and-"

"I'll get them," I stand up hurriedly and grab the Doritos, tossing the full paper bowl and Robby's used paper towel into the trash and returning the bag to its original state.

"Better," she nods. "How was your date?"

"It was fine," I say awkwardly.

"You still took the trash out, right?" she looks into the pantry and sighs in satisfaction when she sees the new trash bag in the can. "Good."

"I did all my chores," I nod, hoping she'll thank me for keeping up with everything while she was out God-knows-where tonight.

"I'm exhausted," she turns away and takes off her shoes. "Night, Lion."

Why did I expect gratitude from her? I should know that all she ever does is to benefit her life in some way. But, I'm used to it. I guess a sense of normalcy with Robby has led to unrealistic expectations now.

We really do work well together, don't we?

"Goodnight, Mom," I say softly before walking back over to the TV and turning it off so I can get up to Robby.

"You're about to sleep, too?" she asks me in surprise.

"Yeah," I nod, hoping she doesn't think too much of it.

"Okay. I'm going to the Farmer's Market in the morning," she reminds me before heading to her room.

I rush into my room and to the closet only to see Robby on the floor on his phone.

"I'm so sorry," I give him a hand up.

"That was straight out of a cheesy movie," he laughs and pulls me close for a kiss. "Sneaking me in, forbidden love, wow."

I laugh, "I am really sorry."

"Where's your mom now?" he looks toward my closed bedroom door.

"In her room about to sleep," I explain as he pulls me closer to him.

"I was promised some quality time, I do believe," he smiles.

"But, my mom is in the other room and we have to be quiet," I remind him.

"What if that's the challenge?" he kisses under my ear and I whimper. "Shh. We don't want to get caught, right?"

I shake my head and he leads me over to my bed. He leans over me as his hand goes to my shorts and I help him take them off, wondering if we're going to go all the way tonight.

He pauses as my red, lacy thong is revealed. Then, he pulls that down, too, and I take the initiative to slip off my shirt. He does so, also, and then towers over me, slowly sneaking his hand down to my heat.

"Now, you have to be quiet," he demands and I nod. 

One finger finds its way into my hole and I do okay at staying quiet, but his thumb moves to stroke my clit and I bite on my finger to prevent a moan.

He kisses me to prevent any loud noise from me once he adds a second finger. I'm already drenching his hand.

I buck my hips for more as the bed slightly rocks under us and he holds my hips still. 

"Stop that," he says softly as he works my body with only his fingers. I'm dying to have him in me.

"Mm," I quietly moan and he wraps a hand in my hair, pulling my scalp to get me to stop. But, instead I squeal out in pain.

"Sh," he says curtly.

Then, I hear the floor creaking and I panic, aware that my mom is getting up.

Robby doesn't waste a moment getting off my bed and getting on the floor to the side furthest away from the door as I grab a blanket for modesty, crossing my fingers that she won't come in.

"Zion?" her voice is hoarse through the door. "What are you doing?"

"Uh... nightmare," I cover as best I can.

"I'm trying to sleep. Take a Benadryl or something and it'll knock you right out," she says in a sleepy, fed up tone. 

"O-Okay," I say softly, worrying she'll say something more in front of Robby. But, she doesn't and I hear her footsteps fade away.

Robby lets out a sigh of relief and I dangle over the bed to look at him on the ground.

"No more tonight," I shake my head.

"Fine," he gives in and walks over to my door, locking it. "I'll sleep on the beanbag again."

"Or, we could share the bed," I whisper in a sweet tone, hoping he'll agree finally.

"That's what you want? You're sure?" he checks for consent and I nod, knowing we both desperately need positive human contact. 

Well, at least, I do.

He sits on the bed with me and I lay horizontally, placing my head on his toned chest with virtually no body fat at all.

"Are you comfortable?" he asks me.

"Yeah," I say, finding this comfortable enough.

He strokes his hand down my arm, sending goosebumps up and down my body. 

"Goodnight," I offer when he doesn't.

"Night," he says after a moment. 

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A/N: Something in here will be used later in the book... but you don't know what mwahaha.

Anyway, my hands hurt from overuse of typing and I'm not sure why, but my updates may be slower than normal because of it. Hopefully not, but I wanted to warn you.