Chapter Negative Four: Idealistic

"I know we only met, but let's pretend it's love and never, never, never stop for anyone. Tonight, let's get some and live while we're young."

~Live While We're Young by One Direction~

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Warnings: abuse, addiction, domestic violence, hospitals/medical things, homophobia, language, light smut, underage drinking, and other mature themes

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Zion's POV

I make it downstairs for breakfast only to see my mom rushing around hurriedly.

"Mom? What's going on?" I ask worriedly.

"Andrew is lightheaded and his chest hurts. I'm taking him to the hospital to see what's wrong," she explains. Sometimes she uses his first name to remind me that he's more than just my dad, but also the man she married. "Goddamnit, where are my keys?"

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask softly.

"I don't know, Zion," she responds as she frantically runs around downstairs.

"Where's Dad?" I ask.

"Already in the car," she responds.

"Wouldn't the keys be with him?" I ask like it's obvious and she stops.

"Fuck," she runs towards the door without a thank you. Not that I was expecting one.

I grab my bag from the night prior and rush out to the car.

"What are you doing?" my mom calls to me.

"Going with you," I say like it's obvious I want to check up on my dad's health. I get in the backseat and my dad weakly smiles.

"Hey, Star," he greets me from the passenger seat.

"Hey. You're not feeling good?" I ask in concern.

"I'll be fine," he assures me.

"We don't know that for sure," my mom says in a panic. The good news is we are only ten minutes away from the hospital.

Jess to Gay Gucci Gang: Are we meeting up at the mall today?

I sigh when I read the text, realizing I don't want to meet up with them or Robby if my dad is sick. I open messages to respond.

Zion to Robby: Dad is in the hospital again, so I can't today

It really sucks, but that's how life is. It's short and I need to spend what time I can with my dad.

That makes it sound like he's going to die. I know I need to think logically, but death isn't something I want to think about with my dad.

"Zion, I need you to park the car while I take your father inside," my mom demands as we pull into the entrance drop off area.

"Okay," I say, really dreading wasting my time finding a parking spot rather than being with him.

"I'll be okay," my dad assures me as my mom walks to his side to help him walk in.

I know it's selfish, but I wish she genuinely cared about me as much as she cares for him.

I was the child that wasn't meant to be; I've heard them talk about it. My mom was told she was infertile and then one day became pregnant. Of course, my dad was excited and my mom tried to be, so they had me. But, even though they were married, my dad took care of me all these years, until he got cancer and it ruined the whole dynamic.

Now, my mom is more involved and she's not very good at trying to do her job. Still, she cares for my dad and that's what matters now.

I find a parking spot and feel my phone vibrate. I pull it out to see a text from Robby.

Robby to Zion: Oh, what do you mean again? Is everything okay? Anything I can do?

I look back at the chat history and realize I text him instead of my groupchat of friends. Fuck.

Zion to Robby: Sorry I didn't mean to send that to you

It must worry him. I still haven't told him about my dad's cancer. I was trying to avoid the pity and reality, to have one person not know or ask.

Robby to Zion: It's okay. I'm sorry to hear that. What's going on?

Zion to Robby: I'll explain later sorry

I make it inside the hospital and to my dad's room. The nurses are already taking his vitals; his wig isn't on right now to mask his bald head from chemotherapy.

My mom is sitting in a chair, spinning her wedding ring around her finger in worry and anxiety.

"Good morning, Ambroses," Dr. Anderson makes his way in, grabbing the informational clipboard on the door to read. "How are we doing today?"

"We've been better," my mom says snarkily.

"Hanging in there," my dad says in a kinder tone.

"Well, I'm glad you came in today. You're dehydrated, Andrew," Dr. Anderson says confidently.

"Dehydrated? That's it?" my mom asks.

"It's not really something to be taken lightly. Dehydration leads to a plethora of health issues that are really bad for someone in your husband's condition. We'll set up an IV to get you back on your feet today," he turns to my dad. "With proper care here, I don't see anything to worry about."

"I drink a lot of water, though," my dad says in astonishment.

"He's right. I bring him a lot to drink," I assure the doctor.

Dr. Anderson shrugs, "You may be doing all you think you can, but sometimes it sneaks in. It's summer, so everyone sweats more. We will take good care of you here, though. It's good you have such a caring family."

"The best," my dad smiles at me and then my mom.

"So, it's only dehydration?" I check that nothing else is bothering him.

"I think everything seems normal. How are you as far as your diet goes?" Dr. Anderson asks my father.

"Good. I'm really trying to stick to the list you made me," my dad assures him.

"Lists," my mom corrects. "I make everything he eats in the kitchen and everything you gave for recommendations are met." I've seen the lists: foods to avoid kidney stones, bad heart health, acid reflux, migraines, the works.

"Wonderful. I'll have a nurse come in and set things up for your IV, just to get your hydration back on track. We'll keep you the rest of the day and night, if you'd like," Dr. Anderson says.

"Just the rest of the day," my mom says. She saw the overnight hospital bill from a week ago and lost her shit mid-week; I'd not like for that to happen again.

"I'll handle the IV," Nurse Patty walks in. She's kind of a mean lady who has been working long hours too long. She's always matter-of-fact, which is why I prefer Nurse Vera. She has a motherly feel and you can tell she loves working here.

Dr. Anderson says goodbye before walking out, leaving the four of us in this small hospital room.

"So, it's Saturday. What plans do you have, Star?" my dad turns to me.

"Oh, uh, nothing," I say, knowing I'll cancel them all just to be here with him.

"That is a lie," he smiles. "You always hang out with your friends. Or maybe that boy."

"What boy?" my mom asks skeptically.

"Oh, um... One of Reid's friends. His name is Robby," I say, not caring to talk about boys with my mom. She gets really weird about it.

"You haven't told me about him. What's he like?" she questions.

"Um... He's nice," I say. She looks at me for more description than just that. "I don't know. Do you want his Tinder profile?" I joke.

"He has a Tinder? How old is he?" she completely misses my joke and my dad laughs.

"She's messing with you, Jan," my dad points out. "Whatever Zion does, I trust her judgement. And for her to make good choices."

"Mhm," my mom just nods as Nurse Patty finishes inserting the needle and connecting him to the bag with things in it to help him.

"So, again, what're you doing today?" my dad asks.

"Hanging here with you," I decide.

"Zion, it's boring here. Plus, I'm perfectly fine. You should go meet up with your friends or Robby or something," he tells me. "Go, be young, have fun, enjoy life."

"Are you sure?" I ask and he nods. I look at my mom and she shrugs.

"I'll drop you by home before I run my errands," she says and I smile a little.

"Okay, then I'm going to the mall."

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I ended up texting Robby back that I can meet up. He said he'll get a ride and meet the group there. Katie, Brian, and I are already outside waiting.

"I accidentally text Robby instead of you guys earlier about my dad and now he's going to ask me about it," I groan.

"Oh no," Katie says.

"It just sucks because I didn't want him to know," I sigh.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to. He'll understand," Brian says supportively.

"That's true," I nod. I look at him, "Where's Diego?"

"We are currently in a fight," he frowns.

"What?" I ask.

"Not this again," Katie groans.

"He doesn't like to share. Last night I realized just how clingy he is and I called him out on it on my way to drive him home. He was drunk and said some things and now it's just a big mess I want to forget about," Brian explains sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Bri," I give him a side hug.

"Yeah, and I was drunk in the backseat during the whole conversation," his twin sister speaks up. "Torture. I was waiting for you to crash just so I wouldn't have to hear you arguing anymore."

"And I thought Diego was jealous. You need to just ask someone out," Brian tells her.

"I'm not going to ask Reid out. As if!" Katie argues.

"Brian didn't say Reid," I realize aloud and Katie turns beat red.

"I-I... Yes he... I... UGH!" she says in frustration, knowing we got her. 

Brian holds his hand low for a low-five and I accept it, happy she's finally kind of admitting her feelings.

"Yo!" Reid walks towards us as if on cue.

"Not a word," Katie mutters and Brian and I stifle a laugh.

"What's up?" Reid wraps his arm around Katie in a loving way.

"Brian and Diego broke up," Katie responds.

"We're just fighting. We'll make up," Brian says.

I look on the other side of Brian and see Robby walking our way and I wave to him. He comes over, 

"Hey, everyone."

"Sup," Reid smiles a him.

"Hi," Katie says, realizing Robby is slowly growing on her.

"Hello, I'm depressed," Brian frowns.

"Ooh, same!" Jess says and I didn't even see where she came from, but now she's here with us. "What's depressing today?"

"Diego and I are fighting," Brian says glumly.

"Like an old married couple?" Jess asks happily.

"I wish it were cliche like that," he responds.

"How are you today, Zion?" Robby whispers to me, obviously a bit worried about the texts earlier.

"Better. I'm sorry if I worried you," I say nervously. I hate that I made this awkward by telling him about my dad.

"It's fine. Feel free to tell me anything," he assures me.

"I want Chick-Fil-A from the food court," Reid says excitedly.

"They're homophobic," Jess says with wide eyes at Reid's proclamation.

"But their chicken tastes so good," Reid sighs.

"And their tea," Katie agrees.

"How can we be a group of gays if we support the thing that is against us?" Jess questions.

"Well, Robby isn't gay," Brian says. "Wait, are you gay or anything?"

Robby looks at them weirdly and I wonder what he thinks of my friend's unfiltered thoughts.

"Um, no, I'm just straight," he says casually and Brian playfully gags, causing Jess to slap him. "I'm an ally, though."

"They all start off like that," Jess says in a menacing tone and I can tell Robby is weirded out.

"Guys, stop," I drag Robby to the other side of me as we walk into the mall together and they all laugh.

"We're just kidding with you, Robby. We want to make sure you'll treat our girl right," Katie reveals and he nods.

"I know and I intend to. I really like her," he grabs my hand and I blush.

"Ew. Love," Brian sighs.

"Yeah, like you and Diego haven't made us lovesick these past few weeks," Katie retorts and Brian sticks his tongue out at her, causing the same response from his sister.

"Wait, do you guys like Auntie Anne's? I could go for some pretzels," Reid says as we pass by one in the mall. 

"Please!" Jess says in excitement. "The cinnamon pretzel is calling my name."

"Reid, they have mini pigs in blankets. The weiners are the size of yours," Katie teases him.

"I'm so sorry for them," I whisper to Robby, knowing my friends are making a horrible first impression.

"It's okay. It's entertaining," he responds as Reid replies to Katie.

"You just wish you could ride on me, huh? Is that why you mention it so often?" Reid pushes her a little and she widens her eyes.

"As if!"

"'As if!'" he mocks her in a high, girly tone.

"Quit it," she growls.

"'Quit it!'" he imitates again.

"Ehem, brother right here," Brian reminds them and Katie flips him off as Reid smirks.

"Yeah, Katie. You can't do anything with your brother here," he continues to tease the blonde.

"Screw you, Jackson," Katie retorts with his last name.

"She walked right into that one," Jess speaks up beside Robby and I. Robby is totally entertained by this.

"You wish, Ms. Evans," he says.

"Guys, we have a clown in front of us," Brian whispers and we all look two customers ahead of us to see some large man in a literal, brightly colored clown outfit. The makeup, wig, and shoes all look ridiculous on him and honestly, it's kind of creepy.

"I was wondering what was taking so long," Jess tilts her head as she observes the odd man.

"Funny. I thought the only clown here was Katie," Reid teases her.

"Nope, nope, nope, get me out of here," Katie says in a panic. I turn to see her trying to get away, but Reid pulls her back.

"Slow your roll, Kat. Where are you going?" he asks her.

"She's scared of clowns," Brian rolls his eyes.

"More like petrified. Scared is an understatement," Katie whispers.

"Pretzel and honey mustard," the clown groans to the Auntie Anne's workers. 

"What kind of pretzel, sir?" the man behind the counter asks wearily.

"Honey mustard," the clown continues to repeat.

"But, sir-"

"I need a pretzel with honey mustard. Now!" the clown laughs in a squeaky voice and even I have to admit I'm scared. I turn to the side to see Robby nervously backing away from the man who must be on drugs of some sort.

"What the hell...?" Reid says.

"I hate clowns. I hate clowns. I hate clowns. Lalalala get me away from him!" Katie whisper-screams and gets out of line.

"But... But pretzels," Jess says, unfazed.

"Have fun getting killed," Katie says.

"He isn't Pennywise. He's harmless," Jess argues and she shakes her head.

"Nope. I'm out," she says and freezes in fear. I look over to see the clown staring back at us and he groans.

"Me too," Brian agrees with his sister for once and the Evans hop out of line.

"We can come back, right?" I check with Robby and he shrugs.

"Scaredy cats," Jess says as Reid runs after Katie as she goes down to the sit down area in the middle of the mall. We follow them while Jess refuses to move.

Robby laughs and sits down on a chair kind of secluded from the others, "That was... something."

"This has been chaos so far," I groan.

"Good chaos," he assures me.

"We almost got killed by a clown," I say.

"Sit with me," he pulls my hand and I blush as he pulls me into his lap. 

I rest my legs over one arm of the chair and my back leans against the other. 

"Your dad is okay? He's in the hospital?" he asks me.

"Fuck, I was hoping you'd forgotten," I sigh and he rubs his thumb over the top of my hand.

"What's been going on?" he asks sweetly.

"Um, okay... My dad has colon cancer," I admit and Robby's eyes widen.

"I'm sor-"

"It's not your fault. It just happened," I say. "They got started on the chemo late because even though he was in stage two when he first got diagnosed, he had some thing on his neck and they waited forever to get surgery to get it removed. They said it was risky to move forward with the treatment until that was settled, so everything got put on hold longer than normal. Today he went in because we freaked out about his health and the whole time he was only dehydrated. So, he's resting now and that's why I felt comfortable enough to come today. He actually encouraged me to."

"Well, I'm glad you came, but I am sorry to hear that," he says.

I press a kiss on his lips lightly, "That's okay. You're making it better."

"Pennywise is taking forever up there," Jess walks over. "I gave up. Where are we going?"

"The food court?" Reid stands up.

"You're always hungry," Katie says and he nods proudly.

"I meant on the way over there," Jess corrects herself. "We could go to Spencer's and get these two to spice it up a little," Jess points to Robby and I and I know I turn beat red.

"JESS!" I screech with what air I can muster from the shock and the group giggles. I can't even look to see how embarrassed Robby must be. Spencer's has some pretty.... spicy stuff.

"Whatever. I want to go in there and finally get a pansexual flag for my room," Katie stands up.

We walk down to the store and I distance from Robby awkwardly. 

"You coming in?" Brian asks us and I shrug, following Jess in to distance from the awkwardness of earlier. 

"Sorry that I went too far with the teasing," Jess says. "I have no filter."

"I couldn't tell," I smirk.

"Let me make it up to you," she says and looks around the store. "Here, I'll buy you this shot glass."

She holds up a reflective shot glass made in the shape of a dick.

"Oh my god," I say. "No way."

"Fine. Maybe I'll get it for myself," she says.

"You're a lesbian," I giggle.

"So, now we're gatekeeping dicks?" she asks and I roll my eyes playfully. "Ooh! I could get a bellybutton piercing." 

I let her walk alone as Robby also wanders around the store awkwardly. Katie is already checking out, Jess is looking at the posters of girls kissing, and Reid and Brian are laughing at the t-shirts as Robby moves to the back of the store.

"See anything?" I walk over and he shrugs.

"I thought maybe I'd get a t-shirt back over there," he says. "But I don't know."

"Okay," I say, unsure of how to respond to that. 

He laughs as he looks around, "There's so much crap here. Do you see anything you like?"

"Eh, I already have a lot of it," I admit and he looks at me in astonishment as I realize what I just said.

"Oh," he says, his voice unnaturally deepening at that realization. 

"I-I meant t-shirt and clothing accessory-wise," I try to make it better. "Fuck."

We both start laughing and I put my head in my hands. 

"I think you're putting too much pressure on us to be perfect and for this to work out. Let's just try to live in the moment," Robby says.

"You seem really good at doing that," I say.

"I've had experience with it," he says.

"You have?" I ask and he sighs.

"I mean... Okay, I've never really had a girlfriend steadily before. I've just... been... around," he says. "That sounds awful, but I never put in effort with feelings and I got good at leaving people. That's why this summer fling thing seems ideal for me."

It saddens me to hear him talk like this. He's been with other girls and never had feelings... Does that mean he won't with me, even if this is a short-lived thing?

"But you've made me feel different things. We've... I think we've formed a connection," he says openly and sweetly. "And I have to keep reminding myself to not overthink it like I had before. I guess maybe it's a reflection of how my mom dates guys, but it seems to work okay for her."

"Oh," is all I can respond with. 

"All I'm saying is, I think you're actually breaking this cycle I have. And, you know, even after this ends, I'd like to stay in contact," he explains.

It's all going to be over soon.

"I want to stay in contact, too. Even if we can't see each other as often," I agree with a smile and he kisses me deeply. I hold onto his biceps and pull him in closer.

"Oh my god, they have a sparkly dildo!" Jess shrieks from the other side of Spencer's and breaks our moment.

"Wow. She never fails," I laugh and Robby shakes his head. "Jess! Come on, girl!"

Everyone has bought their things by now- yes, Jess got the penis shot glass- and we walk out towards the food court.

"Do you guys see the clown guy?" Katie asks in fear.

"I think you're good," I say, looking around for her.

"I want Sakura," Brian decides as we walk around the food court finally.

"What do you want?" I ask Robby. I think I'll get Taco Bell.

"Um... Maybe Taco Bell?" he suggests.

"I was going to say that!" I say and he laughs.

"All right, let's go," he takes my hand and we get in line together. 

After a little bit, we make it to order and everything and that's when Robby insists he pay with his card.

"I'm sorry, it's declined," the worker behind the counter says.

She has a pin with "she/her" pronouns on it and I think it's adorable.

"What?" Robby asks in embarrassment. "Could you... try it again?"

"I'm sorry," she slides it again.

"It's okay, I can-" I offer, but Robby shakes his head.

"I've got it," he says stubbornly in frustration as he takes out his wallet. He grabs some cash and tries to count to match the total. I see he only has a five dollar bill and grab my bag to search for cash. "Um... I have five?"

"Fifteen," I correct and hand the lady a ten dollar bill in addition. Robby turns to me with a frown and I shrug as she hands us our change and we grab our food. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry. My mom's card must have stopped working, of course when I'm out of town and treating you to lunch," he says.

"It's okay, Robby. You don't need to impress me. I don't care if you can or can't pay for our food," I assure him. His eyes soften as we find a table.

"It's just... The guy pays on dates and I know this isn't a conventional relationship, but I'd still like to do my part correctly," he explains his frustration.

"I think guys always paying can be kind of tacky," I admit. "I mean, in a non-heterosexual relationship, who's to say which is the man? It's just a traditional ideal that's outdated as society progresses. All genders should be equal to each other, you know? Trade off with who pays, go dutch, split it. There are other options to choose from."

"That's a good way of putting it," Robby smiles, easily accepting this. "It makes me feel better."

"Good. I wanted you to enjoy our time together," I reach across the table and grab his hand. 

"I am," he lifts my hand up and places a kiss on top of it. "Was that too tacky?"

"That was cheesy, but wonderful," I smile very happily. "I'm sorry my friends are... extra."

"It's fine," he says.

"No, I do feel badly because you didn't quite sign up for a group thing," I frown.

"I mean, I thought today could be just for us, but-"

Robby doesn't get to finish his thought as Jess slides into the seat next to me, "Do you know how hard it is to find vegan things in a food court?"

"She sent back her meal," Reid rolls his eyes, coming up behind her.

"They put cheese on it when I specifically asked for the burrito bowl with no dairy," Jess pouts.

"Okay, Karen," Reid comments.

She stands up to smack the back of his head.

"Ow! What's up with you and Kat doing that to me today?" Reid whines.

"Maybe you should stop being such a dick," Jess sticks out her tongue at him.

"Where'd Sharpay and Ryan go?" I refer to Katie and Brian with a smile. They're both blonde and their last name is Evans. It fits perfectly.

"They waited in the Sakura Express line with me forever and then decided instead they wanted a Philadelphia Cheesesteak," Reid sighs.

"We're here!" Brian announces with his hands in the air.

I turn to him just in time to see the lid of his drink pop off and the soda go flying everywhere to the side of him.

It falls to the floor and we all burst out laughing. I look over at Robby and we share a bright smile and laugh, so I know he is having a fun time.

"Brian, you idiot!" Katie rushes up behind him and sets the stuff on the table before grabbing some napkins to sop up the mess.

"I've got it," the custodian walks over with a mop and Brian turns bright red as he sits on the other side of Robby in embarrassment.

"Brian, what do you have to say for yourself?" Katie scolds him.

"Be gay, do crime?" Brian asks sheepishly.

"Apologize," I act like a mother and he frowns. 

"Fine. I'm sorry," Brian apologizes to the custodian and he shrugs it off like this is normal. "Katie, I'm seven minutes older than you, so stop acting so high-and-mighty."

"Dad loves me more," Katie taunts.

"Mom loves me most," Brian screams.

"At least I didn't wet the bed until I was nine!" Katie retorts and Brian gasps in shock.

"Why would you say that!" 

"I am the superior twin," Katie giggles as we all look at Ryan for his response.

"You still sleep with a stuffed animal and a night light," Brian argues.

"Whatever, dude. You used to wet the bed," Reid laughs and I give Brian a sympathetic smile.

"I couldn't help it. I had bladder problems," Brian pouts.

"And as I eat my food..." I gesture to my sandwich and everyone laughs.

"I have to say, I don't think I've met anyone as interesting as you guys," Robby speaks up and they all look at him.

"Reid! He thinks you're interesting. That's the first time you've ever gotten a compliment. And the last," Katie taunts. He flips her off now.

"Interesting in a good or bad way, Robby boy?" Jess looks at him inquisitively.

"A good way..." he answers nervously.

"We got Zion's boyfriend to approve of us!" Jess exclaims and reaches over to high-five Brian.

Robby gives me a scared look and I speak up, "We're not boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Whatever. You met over the summer at a party like Troy and Gabriella," Jess shrugs. I look at Robby and we smile. 

"What's up with all the High School Musical talk?" Reid asks.

"Zion started it," Jess points to me. 

"Um, Reid, were you and your friends planning on coming to Jake's place sometime?" Robby starts a conversation with the boy, trying to get to know my friends better and it makes me smile.

"I was hoping to, but everyone's work schedule is so busy," Reid explains.

"Oh, you have a job?" Robby asks.

"I lifeguard weekdays at the YMCA," Reid explains. "What about you? Got a job?"

Robby shifts a bit uncomfortably and I notice, "Not exactly."

My phone buzzes and I check it only to see a check from my mom.

Mom to Zion: He's staying the night in the hospital 

I tense and wonder what could possibly be wrong. He was fine earlier.

"Zion, are you okay?" Jess turns to me.

"Um... I have to make a call," I say softly and walk to the emptier side of the foodcourt to call my mom.

"Hello?" she picks up on the seventh ring.

"Mom? What's going on? Is he all right?" I ask.

"They found blood in his urine," she says.

"Okay... What does that mean?" I ask.

"Something is wrong with his kidneys," she tells me and I gasp.

"Like what?" I ask.

"They aren't sure. They're also checking his liver now because it's possible the chemo is taking a dramatic toll on his body," my mom says.

"But he... he just began treatment not long ago. And he felt good all week," I argue.

"I don't know. Vera said they're working to figure it out. I think Dr. Anderson misdiagnosed something earlier. I just wish they would work faster. I feel like I'm dealing with idiots," she says in frustration, her voice breaking over the bad news about my dad.

"So... he isn't coming home tonight?" I ask.

"No, and I'm not either. Please just pick up food or order pizza or something. I'm staying the night here," she says.

"Can I join you?" I ask.

"No, you should just relax at home. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here right now. Okay, Lion?" she uses her nickname for me to try and comfort me.

"O-Okay, Mom," I say, holding in tears and trying to stop my voice from wavering. "Tell Dad I love him."

"I will," she responds.

"I love you, Mom," I say softly.

"Love you, too. Bye." 

The call ends and I take a moment to catch my breath and chill out before going back to Robby and my friends. I don't want them to know I've been upset, but now I'm no longer hungry.

I walk to the bathroom beside me instead. I can't go back out there yet.

"Zion, what's wrong?" Katie meets up with me in the bathroom in concern. Damnit.

"So much," I sigh and try to hold in my tears, even though I wore waterproof mascara.

"You can vent to me, if you'd like," she says supportively.

"I really like Robby," I admit. "I knew going in that this wouldn't last... but now I don't want him to go. It just... I'm losing everything."

"No, you won't lose us," Katie grabs a paper towel and wipes under my eye to catch the tears before my mascara runs.

"I'm going to lose my dad," I say. 

Katie stays silent as the bathroom door opens.

"You guys just disappeared?" Jess walks in. "You ditched us... Why are you crying? Are you okay?"

"Yep. I'm just weak," I say with a hopeless and depressing laugh.

"No, no, honey. Don't say that," Jess wraps me in a hug. The sympathy kills me inside, but it does feel good to be held. "I think Robby is crazy about you."

"It isn't that," my voice breaks. "My dad's in the hospital again. They think the chemo hurt his kidney and liver and it isn't looking good." I breakdown into sobs on Jess' shoulder. "I'm sorry. I've been holding it in all day and I just can't do it anymore."

"It's okay," Jess strokes my hair.

A minute later, I compose myself and wipe my eyes with another paper towel Katie provides.

"Can we just go out there and pretend everything is good?" I ask.

"Zion, is it a good idea to bottle this stuff up? We can tell the guys. They'll understand," Katie reasons with me.

"No. I don't want to ruin my time with Robby with my problems," I say.

"If that ruins his time, he's not for you," Jess argues.

"No. Nothing about this. Please," I say and they reluctantly nod together. "Thank you."

We make it back to the table and Robby looks at me in concern,

"Everything okay?"

"I'm fine," I assure him. 

Reid and Robby go back to talking about sports as I anxiously check my phone in case I get another update about him.

"The uniforms are so ugly," I hear Jess say. "Orange? Really?"

"At least the Broncos aren't the Deflatriots," Reid says and Robby laughs. 

"I like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders," Brian joins in. 

"You always wanted to be a cheerleader with them," Katie recalls.

"And you wanted to be the football player," he nods with an amusing smile.

"Ew. Sports," Jess rolls her eyes as she drinks what I'm sure is green tea she found somewhere.

⭒⭒⭒

Robby and my friends really seem to get along now. We're leaving the mall now and it's kind of dark.

I offered to give Robby a ride back to where he's staying, so we walk to my car together.

"Hey, I know you were sad about the lack of alone time together," I begin.

"It's all right. I've grown to really like your friends," he shrugs with his hands in his pockets.

"Well, that's good," I say.

"Are you okay? You've seemed kind of sad ever since lunch," he tells me and I frown.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to catch onto that," I sigh.

"You can tell me anything," he says and I nod. 

"Well, I was thinking about that alone time... My parents are both out for the night," I take advantage of the moment.

"Hm?" Robby asks in surprise.

"Did you... Maybe want to come over?" I suggest.

"Sure, that could be fun," he nods.

"Great. Yeah, it sounds fun," I say to myself. Maybe I will get a bit more serious with Robby. Who knows? Maybe this could last?

⭒⭒⭒

"You have a really nice house," Robby says as we walk in.

"Thanks," I smile.

"What did you want to do?" he asks me.

"Maybe a movie?" I suggest.

"Sure. Which one?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say and walk over to the DVD collection. I search through them until I see the perfect one. "Dirty Dancing."

"Just so you can make fun of me," he says, remembering he told me his middle name.

"It's a classic. Come on, Robby," I plead.

"Zion, I don't-"

"Please?" I give him the puppy dog eyes and he laughs.

"You are a cruel person," Robby points at me accusatorially as I put it in the DVD player.

"If you're lucky, we won't even watch much of the movie," I turn back to him and see a surprised reaction on his face. "Come on."

I sit on the couch and he moves next to me. I lay my head on his chest and we relax.

⭒⭒⭒

About two hours later, he's lightly holding my neck as his tongue explores my mouth. I let out a pleasurable moan as he grabs my ass. 

We've been making out for a while now and I feel my lips becoming raw and I'm gasping for air, but Robby doesn't seem to care. I don't really, either.

This feels so good, so right, so free.

"Robby," I moan into the kiss as his hands slightly move under my shirt.

"Is that okay?" he questions.

"Yeah, keep doing that," I smile at his consensual question.

His hands snake up to my breasts in my bra and I entangle my fingers in his hair.

"You're so hot, Zion," he says as he looks deep into my eyes.

A/N: Smut starts here. Skip down to the next underlined part, if you'd like.

I know my submissiveness is showing, but he's made it clear that he isn't always the most dominant, either.

I pull him closer to feel his lips on mine again. He grinds a little on me and I wrap my legs around his waist, begging for him to be so close and intimate with me.

I slip his shirt over his head and his eyes connect with mine again before then slipping mine off.

"When you said you have a lot of those things in that store earlier..." Robby questions me curiously and I turn a deep shade of red.

"You're nasty," I giggle as he looks away.

"Sorry, I was just wondering. I didn't mean to overstep," he sighs in frustration with himself.

"I'll be back," I give him another peck on the lips before rolling him to the side of me and getting off the couch. I glance back to see his eyes wide with lust, wondering where I could possibly be going.

I make it to my bedroom and search through the drawer for the baby pink vibrator. I awkwardly laugh to myself as I carry I back downstairs behind my back and stop halfway down,

"Come up here."

Robby turns to me from the couch and follows me up to my room. 

"Woah. It's nice up here, too," he says. 

"Um... so, I have this toy," I say nervously, knowing it's kind of awkward, but he did ask.

"What is it?" he asks and I hold out the vibrator from behind my back. "Oh," he says and I sense excitement in just that single word.

"It's okay if you think it's weird, but I was just trying to be spontaneous-"

"I'm down to experiment, if you are, too," he says and I stare at him in shock.

"Really?" I ask. Jess was into experimenting, but Dylan very much wasn't. 

"Yeah, I kind of... want to see what it can make you do," he says softly and I feel my core heat up a little bit.

"O-Okay," I set it on my bed and he walks over to close the door. 

I stand only in my bra as he is shirtless. He walks over to me and places his hands on my waist, ready to pull off my shorts.

"May I?" he asks and I nod. 

He lays me in only my underwear underneath him on the bed. I feel his hand hover over my heat and he presses through the cloth on my clit, finding it easily. He kisses me as he massages it and I moan. Robby takes dominance in my mouth, his tongue overthrowing mine. He rolls his finger over my clit and I feel myself already building.

"You like that?" he asks, knowing I love it. I nod and he kisses me again. "Beg for more." He leans down and bites my lip.

"Robbyyy," I moan and his eyes meet mine with lust.

"Yeah?" he places kisses on my neck to get me even more aroused.

"Ohh," I moan and his hand stops touching me down there.

"I said. Beg," he tells me and pulls it away.

"Please," I whimper as he moves his mouth lower to plant hickeys on my collarbone.

"More" he enjoys my submissiveness.

I grab his hand and guide him once again towards my pussy, "I'm begging you."

"I'm all yours," he assures me, gliding my underwear down slowly with delicate touches. He really knows what he's doing and how to get me aroused. 

His mouth sucks on my neck and I let out a loud, pornographic moan. He pulls away, 

"That's your sweet spot, huh?" His eyes make contact with mine as I nod and he kisses me. "I love that sound from you. Say my name again."

"Robbyy," I moan a bit as his finger teases me up and down my folds. He goes back to sucking my neck and not a minute later, his finger moves inside of me and I arch my back just a little to move for more friction. He obliges and I feel myself building little by little.

He works his magic himself for another minute or so, never quite pushing me over the edge. Instead, it seems he enjoys teasing me as I whine for him.

And then he turns on the vibrator and sets it on my clit.

"Fuuuck," I moan and he smirks in amusement.

"God, you're so fucking hot," he tells me, pushing my hair out of my face to kiss me again as his other hand holds the vibrator.

I pull out of the kiss for air, "I'm gonna-" 

"Not yet," he whispers in my ear and turns down the setting to a teasingly slow pace.

"Robby, please, stop teasing me," I beg.

He turns it back up and keeps his bicep to the side of me to hold himself up as I feel my climax build at his mercy.

"Oh," I whimper. "Please can I cum?"

"Yes. You've earned it," he says and my legs shake slightly as my mouth falls open and I orgasm.

Robby watches in amusement as I come down from my high with slow breaths to calm my heart rate. 

A/N: Smut over.

He grabs my blanket from the foot of the bed and wraps me in it protectively.

"You're all right?" he asks and I nod, leaning my head on his chest.

"Fuck yeah," I say breathlessly. "You were amazing. You... You knew what you were doing."

I wonder how many other girls he's been with.

"You're beautiful, Zion," Robby tells me. "Can I get you something to drink or anything?"

"No. I'm good with just you," I say and he leans down to kiss my forehead as we face each other and his hand strokes from the top of my head down my long hair and to my back.

Our heart rates sync as I wonder what this means. He pleased me and it was all entirely just for me. But, we aren't anything serious and there was no real love involved. Still, it was.... perfect. It just makes me wonder what he's thinking.

Either way, I had a great time tonight and it really took my mind off reality.

⭒⭒⭒

A/N: I wrote this for four hours straight. Wow. I have no idea how I even did that-

This was what my mind came up with and I rolled with it. I hope you enjoyed reading this insanity.

Sorry if the smut kind of sucked; it was a spontaneous decision.

Ewww I have finals coming up next week:((