The doctor left soon after so I could process what was going on. She said that when I am ready, I can go in and see Rose. I don't think I'll ever be ready for something like this. Who could be?

I pace in the hallway, for a while, outside of her room. I don't think I can see her like this, it'll be too hard for me to bare. My hand shakes as I grip the handle. As I slow my breathing, I count down. 3...2...1.

I open the door and almost fall to my knees. The countless machines she is hooked up to and the oxygen mask on her face - I feel sick. No one deserves to see someone they love like this, it's sickening. I want nothing more than to take her place, I'm too far gone. There is nothing left in life for me anymore - other than her.

But now she's gone too.

I slowly walk over to her and sit in the chair beside her bed. I reach into my pocket and take out a small notebook - hers. I went back to that house she was so fond of and found her notebook laying in the road.

"I got you something," I whisper as I place my hand in hers. "I don't know if you can hear me right now... but I got your diary," I put it on the nightstand beside the bed. "I went back there and found it in the rubble... I knew you would have wanted it back and don't worry, I didn't read it," I laugh a little to stop myself from crying.

I squeeze her hand and hope and pray that I get a response but she lays there - unmoving. "Please come back to me baby," I move a strand of hair from her face with my free hand and try to contain myself. Rage and sadness are both so strong that it's hard to tell the difference.

I hate how weak I have become, but I don't hate how much I love her.

How much I love the person I hate.

I never saw any of this coming when I met eyes with the quiet daughter, of the lead commander's, across the room. I remember the disgusted look she gave me as I made a point to stare at her body, I remember it as clear as day.

Rose only intrigued me more with every encounter we had. Even the times where we wanted to kill each other. We were both so drawn to each other - like a moth to a flame.

I have hope. Hope that she will awaken and everything will go back to normal.

I know I should probably tell Zach what has happened but I am more focused on trying to conjure up a plan to defeat the rebels. At least that will take my mind off of Rose. I remind myself that the doctors are doing the best they can and that she will be fine.

There's no other option other than for her to be okay.

***

After forcing myself out of the room, I make my way to father's office to talk through a plan with him. He's not my most favoured person but he is my most trusted. I can rely on him to come up with a strategic plan and get it done.

I don't bother knocking, I walk straight in to him on a call with someone. "Yes... I'll have to call you back... thank you," he ends the call then clasps his hands together in front of him on the desk. "What can I help you with son," he says, not a hint of malice in his voice.

"We need a plan to defeat the rebels and quick, they have chipped Rose with something that is secreting poison into her veins. With this kind of technology, they can do anything. Especially if Rose had no clue it was put into her," I explain and he nods. "Rose is... she's in a coma and they're not sure if she's going to wake up. If I owe her anything it is killing every last person associated with what has happened to her," they will not get away with this and I'll make sure of it.

"I'm sorry to hear that... I know how fond you were of Rose - despite your differences," my father says as if he is giving his condolences.

"Don't be stupid, she'll wake up - she has to. Stop acting as if she is already dead!" I shout and he closes his eyes to most likely stop himself from lashing out at me. "Rose is not going to die," I say quietly and my father sighs.

"What do you propose we do then?" he says and I take a seat at the table opposite him. I rack my brain, for anything. We have zero information on the rebels except for their leader Michael Hisan. Maybe the other sectors would know who this person is.

"Maybe we could reach out to Sector 84 and Sector 86," they are our neighbouring sectors. "We have the annual ball coming up and the rebels wouldn't think otherwise," hence it's annual so the rebels wouldn't suspect anything when the sectors come together.

"If you want to make a complete mockery of us in front of the lead commander then go ahead," my father scoffs but I don't see him coming up with any other ideas.

"We need their guidance, we can't face these rebels alone. We have already tried and look where we are, they are clearly thinking logistically about their actions," I rest my head against my closed fist - my elbow on the arm of the chair and bounce my leg, deep in thought. "We may be humiliating ourselves by admitting our defeat against a group of rogue rebels but I don't see any other option," I explain and he nods slowly.

"Very well... I trust you Colton, I trust that you will choose the best option for our sector but I still believe that it won't bode well with our lead commander," he explains and I agree with him. I know a side of Mikael Waterstone that no one else does - other than Rose.

An aggressive father and a power hungry man.

"I will reach out to the neighbouring sectors about the event and we will discuss the matters with them at said event. I don't trust that our correspondence will go unnoticed so it is best if we converse in person," I say and stand up - fixing my suit jacket.

"Be careful," there's a glint of something in his eyes but I can't tell what. "Have you spoken to your mother?" the mention of her angers me.

"No and I don't intend to," I say and walk out of the door - not wanting a response from my father. I stalk down the corridor towards my room. I need to shower and to find something to do with myself, to stop from thinking about her.

***

I've been corresponding with our neighbouring sectors all day and for the most part it has been useful. But I need an outlet, the stress of everything is taking its toll on me and I need to fuel it into something - training.

I get changed and make my way to the training room. People avert their gaze when we meet eyes, it brings a smile to my face. No one ever makes direct eye contact with me by choice, except Rose. She always makes a point to not break eye contact first - it's infuriating.

All of my pent up anger is released as my fists hit the punching bag. The relief it gives me - being able to get a release in a healthy way. I've improved a lot in the last year and I am proud of myself for it. Me a year ago probably would have killed someone already because of this. I still have the same urge but I am more able to control it now.

I'll admit that I did have a problem with killing too many people but what else was I supposed to do when they would so easily piss me off. But I am a reformed man. I still kill but with somewhat of a reason now.

My knuckles feel like they are on fire as they repeatedly hit the bag. I welcome the pain, it makes me feel human again. It makes me forget everything plaguing my mind and lets me breathe.

The relief is cut short when a hand is placed on my shoulder. My instincts react quickly and I spin around - latching my hand around the person's throat. Ansel. I release my hold and he laughs to himself. "What are you doing here?" could this day get any worse.

Ansel Thorn is my rival in every way- he has this weird obsession of having to be better than me with everything. Of course he isn't but it's rather amusing watching him try. "Here for the festivities," he shrugs and I roll my eyes.

"You couldn't care less about the ball and we both know that," I sigh and he laughs.

I have no care for the ball and never have.

"And we both know that I'll end up convincing you into joining in with our little competition we have," a sick smirk covers his face and I can't believe I was ever friends with him. Well, not friends but something like that.

"Ah yes, who can sleep with the most people if I remember correctly," I say with mock excitement. If he thinks I am going through with that again this year then he can simply go away.

"Correct... c'mon you know it was fun and you can't even deny it," it was but I won't give him the satisfaction of admitting it. Besides, I have someone I'd rather spend my time with other than screwing a bunch of government leader's daughters.

"I have other plans this year," I say and begin to walk off but halt when he starts laughing.

"Please don't tell me that you are spoken for... Colton Grey don't tell me you have a girlfriend," he is laughing so hard I am actually concerned for him. I throw one forceful blow to his face and his head jolts to the side.

"I certainly haven't missed you," I pat him on the shoulder and walk off.

"I'll get you back for that!" he shouts from behind me and I laugh to myself.

I'd love to see him try.

***

After getting back to my room, I showered and changed before heading back to the hospital wing. I hope they have made some kind of progress even if it is minuscule.

I walk through the doors and head straight for her room but the same doctor from earlier stops me. "We have something to tell you before you enter," she says and I nod. "We called someone in who may be able to heal her, they have a gift and I'm afraid it's our only hope," she explains and I have never been more confused in my life.

"A healer? Where have you found this person and why didn't you come to me?" I am aware that I am raising my voice but they can't just do things to her without consulting me.

"We've known them for a while, their work is mostly successful with little side effects," I have so many questions I'm afraid I may explode.

"What do you mean mostly successful and what are these side effects?" I ask hesitantly. I'm not sure I want to know but I need to.

"I mean... some people have died from this but at the time the risk was worth it and as for the side effects... memory loss is most common. They could forget up to a month before the incident" a month? That means Rose would forget me.

"How common is this?" I ask the question I most dread. I can't lose her - in memory or in death.

"Dying is extremely rare but memory loss happens with every case," I can't be selfish. I have to do what's best for her and her needs. She needs to live even if it's without me.

"You can go through with it," my heart breaks as the words leave my mouth but it doesn't matter about me anymore.

I care more about her than I ever will about myself and that will never change.

***

A/N we hit 5k reads, thank you so much! Also thank you for all of the birthday wishes!