"Hello sector 85!" my father smiles. I drown out the speech, not wanting to hear his empty promises for the future, and focus on the crack in the floor. I stare at it for a while until I feel eyes on me.

I look up and see a boy, probably only a little bit older than me, staring at me. He has dark brown hair styled to perfection, chiselled cheekbones and green eyes that look all too familiar. His frame is very tall, lean and muscular. He's wearing an all black suit and is leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets as if he hasn't a care in the world. The epitome of nonchalance.

I notice his eyes raking up and down my body and glare at him. His eyes meet mine and I make a point not to break the eye contact first.

He smirks and I feel myself shiver.

I shoot up in bed, my breathing is uneven, my chest heaving. As soon as I try to grasp the dream I had just experienced - I can't. It slips through my finger tips and I haven't a clue what I was dreaming about. I clutch my hand to my chest and normalise my breathing.

Colton stirs in his sleep beside me and I almost fall off the bed from how startled I am at the stranger sleeping beside me. I look at his resting body and the guilt floods me. I can see how hard he is trying, how patient he is being with me. But also I can see how much this is drowning him and I hate that I am being a burden.

A dark strand of hair falls onto his forehead and I get a weird sensation and want to brush it away from his face. I reach over to the glass of water on the nightstand and take a sip. A metallic taste fills my mouth and I have to stop myself from gagging.

All I had been drinking was those herbs, every second of every day - clinging to the hope that they would restore my memories but to no avail. Colton still has hope but mine is slowly starting to slip away.

When do we decide that enough is enough? When do we decide that it's not going to work? When do we decide that we should move on? So many questions that we don't have the answers to.

I stare through the darkness as my body regains composure. A hand touches my back and I flinch from their touch. I hadn't even realised that Colton had woken up. "Sorry if I woke you," I whisper and I see him shake his head through the dark.

"You okay?" his hand follows the curve of my spine and I shudder at the contact. A small fire in me is begging to be ignited by his touch, begging to be awoken again - as if it has been dormant for too long, it is yearning for him.

"Yeah... I'm fine," I breathe and he looks into my eyes. Those evergreen eyes that are so staggering but haunting at the same time.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers and I oblige. I lay my head on the cool pillow and stare up at the ceiling. I am tired, so tired but my mind is thinking about so many things.

I can't get over the vividness of that dream - it felt like I had lived it before. There's a small glimmer of hope that tells me "maybe you're remembering" but the hope is quickly outweighed by the realism of the situation.

I am never going to get back those memories so it is best if I just move on with my life and let go of the tether holding me to the girl I was, the girl who is isn't even a distant memory but a forgotten soul.

The idea pains me but we have to be realistic here. I have been drinking those retched herbs day after day and we are no closer. We either find a new solution or give up entirely.

"We can't give up Rose... we have to keep trying," Colton says beside me, as if he could hear my thoughts.

"There's no other option, I don't see any other way," I admit and Colton lets out a deep breath, sighing into the darkness that wraps around us like a warm blanket.

"We'll find a way, we have to," the hint of anger and despair in his voice do not go unnoticed but I've lost all faith. We are both drained to the core. Rid of any kind of hope and optimism.

"There is no way Colton, the herbs haven't worked... the herbs that were our only chance," I am breaking at the seams and I'm not sure how much longer I can be calm about this situation. It's like I am holding on to my own sanity by a thread but everyone, everything just wants to cut that thread.

"We can find another healer, I can ask for their guidance there has to be some kind of loophole," the desperation in his voice is heart shattering.

"You're reaching... I think we should just give up and move on with our lives," I snap and the words have left my mouth before I can even process them. It wasn't a lie but I hadn't really wanted to tell him that way.

He doesn't respond but gets up and shrugs on his clothes and stalks toward the door. "Where are you going?" I ask and he halts, probably considering if he even wants to answer me.

His hand clasps around the door handle and he sighs. "I can't... I can't be this close to you but have you so far away," he whispers and walks out, slamming the door behind him.

My body is shouting to run after him, to ask him what he means but my mind is shouting that he needs space, he said he can't be close to me and I should respect his wishes. My mind wins.

Colton's words echo through my mind as it coaxes me towards sleep.

I dream of tracing tattoos, love, green beautiful eyes and my fingers running through the most softest of brown hair.

***

I wake to a cold and empty bed, he hadn't returned last night and it had kept me awake for the better part of the whole night. I'm sure he is okay... I hope.

My stomach rumbles and I realise how hungry I am. The food was okay last night but it was only small stuff that Colton had managed to scavenge from the kitchens. I hadn't eaten something normal in what felt like forever.

I sit up in Colton's bed and feel the ghost of his presence. I stretch my arms above my head before getting out of the bed and trying to make myself look half decent before leaving. I didn't have any clothes on me so staying in Colton's was my only option.

I comb my fingers through my hair and stare at my reflection in the mirror, looking at a complete stranger. It was enough not knowing the people around me but not even having the reassurance of knowing yourself is worse than any kind of memory loss.

After forcing myself to walk away from the mirror, I leave the bedroom and walk down the corridor. I have zero clue where I am going and the lack of windows in this place is disorientating.

"Rose!" a sweet, female voice says from behind me. I quickly turn around to see who was calling me. A petite girl with beautiful caramel skin and piercing blue eyes looks at me with her mouth agape.

"...Do I know you?" I ask and her face falls. She walks closer to me and furrows her brows.

"I'm Melissa... we met a couple times," Melissa says before pulling me into a hug. Her embrace was the most comforting thing I have ever felt. "I'm glad you're in one piece," she says although her voice held barely any emotion.

"I'm sorry... things have been a little confusing," I explain as I pull out of her embrace, her arms falling to her sides.

"I heard what happened... I hope you're okay," Melissa says with a smile and I return the small gesture.

"Thank you," I say softly and she nods her head. "Breakfast?" I suggest and she laughs a little before leading the way.

I have never felt more like a lost puppy in my life and I am sure I looked it too as I followed Melissa down the hallway.

***

My head throbs as we sit down at the table in the cafeteria. It feels like someone has set my brain on fire. I decided on getting some fruit but Melissa has her plate stacked high with pancakes - her mouth practically watering at the sight.

"So... what do you remember?" she asks and I can hear the hesitation in her voice at the question. I hate that people feel that they are walking on eggshells around me.

"You can ask me anything," I say and she nods her head a little. "The last I remember was coming to the facility with my father, which I have been told is just over a month ago." I say, my voice a lot calmer than I had expected it to be.

"That must be awful... I'm so sorry," she says quietly. "I can tell you everything that I remember, if you want my side of the story?" she suggests but I shake my head.

"Thank you but... I want to start fresh, I've accepted that I am not going to remember so it's better if I just face it and move on, no denial stage," as much as it pains me to give up, I don't see another way.

"I didn't peg you as the giver upper type," Melissa says as she shovels a fork full of pancake into her mouth. I instantly regret picking up fruit.

"I'm not a very forgetful person either but here we are, defying the rules of the universe," I say sarcastically and she chuckles to herself.

"Well... I am happy to help you if you need anything," she says and I thank her.

***

I am just finishing the last of my fruit when my eyes finally meet a familiar face. I don't have any time to be confused as I abruptly stand and run towards him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Rose," Zach breathes and the relief of seeing a familiar face is unforgettable. I have never been more happy to see someone in my life, someone I know.

"Why are you here?" I question as I pull back to look at him and get that look that everyone has given me so far, pity. I would love nothing more than to rip that pitiful look off of everyone faces.

A girl stands beside him and she smiles softly at me. "I'm Natasha... Zach's girlfriend," her smile is warm and welcoming. I instantly like her.

I pull away from Zach and smile back at her. "I'm Rose Waterstone," I say and Natasha laughs a little.

"We've... met before," she explains and I feel like sinking into the floor. Of course I have met her before, she's Zach's girlfriend.

"Sorry..." I say but she brushes it off, assuring me that it's no worry.

"It's a long story... I'm just glad you're alive," Zach places a hand on my shoulder.

The amount of people around me that claim to know me but I don't have a clue who they are is unnerving and majorly overwhelming. I take deep breathes as I look at all of the faces around me.

People I don't know but... know.

"I'm just going to get some air," I say, a mere whisper and stride towards the exit of the cafeteria. There's too many people, it's suffocating.

I am walking quickly through the halls, my feet stinging from the pounding of my feet against the concrete floor.

I have never been more frustrated with myself. Still, I walk through the corridors begging for an exit to this place. A window I can throw myself out of? Anything...

A small fire exit door, I sigh in relief and the feeling of being trapped flows out of me as I look at the single door at the end of a dark hallway.

I walk towards the exit, every step closer making it easier for me to breathe.

As soon as the door opens and the cool air hits my face, I feel like somewhat of myself again. I breathe in the crisp air and let it fill my lungs, letting it drown me.

"At least I haven't lost you completely..." his voice says from behind me.