"So you're just going to change the subject," I laugh at his pettiness. Why can't we just be mature and talk about something for once? I know this isn't exactly the best time but he can at least say something other than changing the subject.

"Take this," he takes one of the guns from their place and holds it out to me. I freeze. "Take it," he says forcefully and I feel like I can't control my body. I can't move to take the gun, I can't do anything. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he grabs my hand and puts it in the palm of my hand.

It feels so wrong in my hand and the words I want to say just won't leave my lips. My hand folds around the gun and my body feels numb. I don't know what's wrong with me, I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. I don't think I'll ever forget that day, it will haunt me for the rest of my life but I deserve it. I deserve to be reminded of that with every waking moment.

Yes I am weak but at least I have feelings.

"I can't do this," I whisper so low that I can barely hear it myself. I'm not ready to do this, not yet, possibly not ever. Whenever I touch it, it feels like I am detached from my body. Like I am outside looking in.

Everyone around me moves in a blur, like time no longer exists and I am in another dimension of some sort. I hear a gunshot and throw myself onto the ground and cover my head with my hands. "What are you doing?" Colton's voice breaks through my thoughts. He's knelt next to me and looking at me, concern plastered onto his face.

"You didn't hear that?" I am going crazy. If he didn't hear that then where the hell did it come from? I sit up and stare at the gun in my hand. How can my insanity come down to an object? Am I really this weak?

"Hear what love?" he says gently and I think I'm more shocked by the soft tone of his voice than the realisation that I am going crazy.

"The..." my breathing is erratic. What is wrong with me? I throw the gun in front of me and quickly move backwards, trying to get away from it. Mud covers my hands and clothes and the cold air stings at my tear covered cheeks.

"We need to get going Rose," Colton says softly and I quickly get up and run a hand through my long hair. Taking deep breaths as I try to calm myself down.

"Yeah... yeah," I nod frantically and follow him into the darkness.

***

We are set up by an abandoned building in a quieter part of the city. The other two groups decided to go deeper into town and I was relieved that our group stayed behind.

"What happened... back there?" Colton whispers from beside me. Everyone is spread out in their own corners. Colton made me stay with him seen as I didn't have much to defend myself with. We are both sat next to each other behind a half-broken down wall.

"I don't know, I think I am losing my mind," I laugh a little to try and lighten the mood but it doesn't really work. Colton furrows his brows.

"You're just not used to it. I think where you were just thrown into everything without a warning it was too much, too fast... you know," he shrugs and I am taken back by how understanding he is being. I can't help the shock that I feel.

"Where is Colton and what have you done with him?" I say and he chuckles before looking into my eyes. I knew that there was a side to him that he hid away from everyone, a side that was kind and only had good intentions. He rarely shows it but sometimes I can see a flicker of life behind his stone cold eyes.

"I like that," he whispers and moves in closer. My breath gets caught in my throat from how close our faces are. His eyes flicker to my lips before returning back to my eyes.

"Like what?" I question. We are so close that we are breathing the same air. I can see every detail on his face, his beautiful face.

"The sound of my name on your lips," I am sure I am imagining this. Am I dead? I think I'm dead.

Gunshots. Gunshots surround us. I can't tell if it's ours or the rebels. Colton's eyes are wide and I know that it's not ours. I latch my hand onto his arm as he puts a finger to his lips, signalling to be quiet. My hands are shaking violently as I try to stay calm.

I need to stay calm if I am going to survive, if any of us are going to survive.

I pull one of my daggers out and place a firm hand around it. I can do this. I look around at everyone who is already moving, guns in hand, ready to fire. My hearts beats aggressively against my chest and I beg that everyone will come out of this alive.

I stand up and lean against the wall as the gunshots get closer. Colton waves his hand, signalling for everyone to move forward. I follow his lead. "Stay behind me," he whispers and I nod. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to do this, now I have to make sure that I stay alive as well as everyone else.

"We just want the girl!" someone shouts as Colton presses us both against a wall. A gun is tight in his grip and he turns off the safety. "Hand us the girl and there won't have to be any blood shed!" they shout.

Colton quickly lifts his gun and walks into the open. I grab his gloved hand, stopping him. "What are you doing?" I whisper-shout but he takes his hand out of mine and continues walking.

"What do you want with her?" Colton shouts back with his gun aimed at the person. What the hell is he doing?

"Hand her over and you get to know whatever you want," Colton looks over to me with something I have never seen in his eyes before. Something that frightens me half to death.

"Fine," he agrees and grabs onto my arm. My heart feels like it has stopped beating. How could he do this? After everything... he is just going to hand me over?

"Please don't," I plead but his eyes stay emotionless and hard. He's really going to do this. I don't blame him. It needs to be done. It's better one person than a dozen. "You're a coward," I spit as he drags me towards the group of people. I hate him more than words can describe but the betrayal is what stings the most.

"Well... that wasn't so hard was it," the man says as we reach him. It's then that I come up with possibly the most reckless idea yet. I bring the knife to my neck. I'd rather die than help them.

"Not much use to you if I am dead am I?" my voice shakes as I press it against my neck. I feel sick from the pure betrayal I feel. I can't believe Colton was just going to hand me over like a piece of meat. The man looks at me skeptically and I know that he thinks that I won't be able to do it.

"Don't be stupid girl," the man spits and I press the knife into my neck as gunshots make my ears ring.

Everyone in front of me drops dead. Colton smiles next to me and I am lost for words. "You really think I'd give you up that easily love," he laughs as war erupts around us.

***

Someone lunges towards me and I have no choice but to plunge my knife into them and watch the colour drain from their face and the light from their eyes. I block everything out. I will not let this haunt me and eat me alive. I have to learn to live with this new life and deal with what happens in it.

Gunshots and shouts surround me as more people throw themselves at me. Colton and I are in the middle of it all. His gun firing at anyone and everyone who makes their way towards us. The rebels seem to be endless.

Blood covers the battlefied, dead bodies as far as the eye can see as both the rebels and our soldiers fight to the death. Everything seems to merge together, bodies and blood, shouts and cries.

"Stay close!" Colton shouts from beside me. I have lost count of the amount of people that I have killed tonight and that thought alone scares the hell out of me.

"Stay alive!" I shout back and I'm sure I heard him laugh through all of the chaos. A month ago this is not where I saw myself being. In war, fighting beside the person I hate more than humanly possible.

My hands are coated in a crimson colour and the sight pains me. All of those people who are now dead at the hands of me. The cold bodies that surround me. I tried so hard to block it all out but now it's all flooding in. All the pain and the death and the destruction that surrounds me.

I move backwards, slowly retreating and drop the knife. Everything goes silent for a little while as I watch the fire that burns around us and the people fighting. It's almost peaceful.

The peacefulness is cut short as a gun is pressed to the side of my head and someone clamps their hand over my mouth from behind me. This is how it ends. After everything, all the fighting, they got me this easily.

I feel a prick in my neck before the world blurs and I fall into the darkness.

***

My wrists burn and my head feels heavy. I slowly open my eyes and see that I am tied down in a chair. My wrists tied to the armrests and my ankles tied together. Duct tape is over my mouth and I try to scream but it only comes out as a muffled shout. The room is dark, the only source of light being the lightbulb above me. Someone walks out of the darkness and towards me, a knife in their hand. My knife.

"Don't waste your energy trying to get out... there isn't civilisation for miles," their voice is deep and raspy. The coward has his face covered to conceal his identity. "I am going to take the tape off and so help me god, if you dare scream... you will regret it," he spits.

He rips the tape off and my face stings.

"Screw you," are the first words that come out of my mouth and the person laughs. I try to pull my wrist out of the rope but to no avail. He gets closer and presses the knife to my stomach.

"Wanna repeat that darling," he begins to slowly slide it across my stomach and the pain is almost unbearable.

"Screw. You," I say and smile. He swipes the knife across my ribcage and black dots fill my vision. I laugh, a psychotic laugh. "What... do you... want," it's hard to breathe but I'll be fine. I won't let my death be at the hands of complete and utter cowards.

"We want to know what your lovely father is doing. We want to know all of the ins and outs of the government," they say and trace my cheekbone with the knife.

"Well you've got the wrong person for that... kind of information. I don't know anything," I manage to say through the raging pain flooding through my body.

"I guess you're just gonna have to start remembering 'cause that just won't do," he says angrily and leaves the room. Blood trickles down me and pools in my lap, sliding down my legs. The sight almost making me be sick, both from the pain and the gash across my ribs.

I don't know how long I have been here and I certainly have zero clue on how I am going to get out. We may have to do this the old fashioned way.

***

They've practically starved me the whole time I have been here, which is for god knows how long. They've given me a few scraps here and there but nothing that you can sustain on. I have never felt so physically weak in my entire life. My whole body is covered in cuts and bruises from them thinking they can beat information, that I don't know, out of me.

"I don't know," I say weakly and the guy huffs angrily.

"If you just tell us then we won't have to use the knife again," he runs a hand over his masked face and I decide on playing with him a little.

"How can I tell you stuff that I don't know... Michael," I look up and stare into his eyes. I can see the confusion and worry in them. I can read him like a book.

"Where'd you find that out then, hm?" Michael says and I laugh. He doesn't know that I know everything. He should get better henchman because one of them has been far too easy to seduce and get information out of. Haiden, I believe his name is. I know where I am, who is here... everything, but Michael doesn't need to know that.

Haiden even believes that tonight we are running away with each other. How sad.

"I'm sorry... what did I say? I can't quite remember," I say with a sweet smile.

"Ha, Ha... very funny," he says before his fists connects with my face and my frail body gives up on me.