Colton

"She has been gone for three weeks! Three weeks and none of you have found anything!" I shout at the group of people standing before me. I am losing my mind over here and these useless idiots aren't helping. "This isn't a joke! The next person to tell me they haven't found anything will be killed and I mean it. I will slit your throat in front of everyone and make you all watch," I bellow and my voice bounces off the walls.

The night she disappeared felt like a dream, it simply didn't feel real. One minute she was there and the next she was gone. It's ironic how the last words she said to me were 'stay alive' and I can't shake the feeling that she is dead somewhere. The feeling pains me more than I let on. She can't be dead, she's not. Well... at least that's what I keep telling myself.

"You need to calm down, threatening to kill people isn't going to help," Zach says from beside me. I have began to tolerate him somewhat the last few days but I still don't understand how this spanner is Rose's best friend.

"You'd be surprised how desperate people get," I say with humour in my voice. It does amuse me watching all of the worried looks on their faces and how they move around, frantically trying to cling onto any piece of information they can get their grubby hands on.

"I'm just as stressed as you are," Zach sighs and I roll my eyes as I play with the rings on my fingers. How calmly he is going about this tells me otherwise.

"You sure seem it," I turn to face him and a frown is set on his face. "I don't have time for you and your meaningless concern, quite frankly, I have better things to do," I walk away, not waiting for a response, not wanting one either.

***

I pace in my room and tug at the roots of my hair. It's been a few hours and there is still no information on Rose's possible whereabouts. Time is of the essence and currently we are wasting a crap ton of it. Files and paperwork are scattered across my bed and I try to rack my brain of somewhere, anywhere she could be.

The fact that we have no information on the rebels makes this harder than necessary. She just needs to come back, we need to get her back. I've come to realise how boring my life is without her around, I have no one to get all of my anger out on. I'd do anything to hear her shout at me again, to see her angry face as she cusses me out. She never realises how funny she looks, I'm sure she thinks she looks intimidating but it's quite the opposite.

I hate myself for letting her have such an effect on me but I can't help it. I can't help wanting to see her smile one more time. I watch her sometimes, not in a creepy way, but I see her with her friends and she radiates beauty. I hate her more than I ever thought I was capable of hating someone but I also have these weird feelings that I can't explain.

I sit down on my bed and go through all of the paperwork again, wishing that something I hadn't read, the past five times that I've gone through it, pops up and it tells me where she is.

***

Rose

My head throbs when I regain consciousness. Thank god I will be getting out of here tonight with my new friend Haiden. "Rose," Haiden whispers and I put on a sweet smile. "You ready to get out of here," his smile is so genuine that I hate myself for lying to this guy. He can't be much older than me but I've got to know him during the time that I have been here and he's been really nice.

"More than ready," I say and he unties my wrists before untying my ankles. He helps me up and my legs feel numb, I haven't stood up in what feels like years. The starvation and dehydration aren't helping me much either.

"You okay?" he asks and I nod. He believes that I love him and that we are running away to start a life together. What he doesn't know is that as soon as we leave these doors I will probably have to kill him to stop him from telling anyone that I left.

He leads me down a corridor and I grab my knife from the shelf that it has been sitting on. I am more than relieved to be getting out of here. From what I have learned, I am fairly close to the facility but I feel like they don't want me back. None of them have made the effort to try to find me so I can only assume that they're glad I am gone.

Just as he is unlocking the door I hear rushed footsteps behind us. "Hurry up," I whisper and he fumbles with the lock before shoving us both out of the door. It's dark outside and I take a deep breath of the cold air. It's so refreshing to be breathing fresh air, not that stale grubby air that has been invading my lungs for god knows how long. I turn to Haiden who is smiling at me brightly. "I'm so sorry," I struggle to say, the guilt already setting up camp in my mind.

"What for?" he asks before I plunge the knife into him. His eyes turn glassy and I feel a pain in my chest I've never felt before as I watch the life bleed out of him. "How could you," his voice breaks as he falls to the floor, his breathing becoming strangled. I watch as he tries desperately to fight to stay alive... I watch until he takes his very last breath.

I finally tear my eyes away from his body and force my legs to start making their way towards the lights in the distance - that I assume are the city lights. I make sure that I am hasty with my escape because as soon as they realise that I am gone they will come after me. I know everything about them and what they're planning to do, I am a liability.

I am trudging through an opening in the trees when I see flashing lights in the distance. I quickly duck and hide, covering my mouth with my hand to not draw attention to myself.

After a short while, the lights disappear and I make sure that I am more wary. They must know that I have escaped by now, they've most likely found Haiden's body too.

I need to get back and quick but this dense forest is making it harder than necessary. My ribs are crying out in pain as I force myself to keep going. I stumble over a fallen branch, landing face first on the mud. My mind is shouting for me to just give up, to let go and accept that I am not getting out of this.

But I can't, not now. Not after everything that I have gone through... how far that I have come. The things that I have had to sacrifice and the things that I have had to do to just survive, to get through the torture.

I can't give up.

***

My whole body is screaming as I approach a door on the facility that I have never seen before. The relief that floods through me as the door opens with ease is immeasurable. I immediately lock it behind me and slump against the wall. I have no clue how long I have been gone and what's changed. I'm sure I've been gone for a handful of days at most.

I look around and see a familiar door and I have never been so grateful in my life. I force my weak and frail body off of the floor and pull down the handle. There he is sitting on his bed surrounded by dozens of pieces of paper. "Go away," he groans as he places his head in his hands.

"Did you miss me?" I say softly, his head snaps up and his eyes go wide. He's frozen with his mouth agape. Colton looks like he has seen a ghost. Before I know it he is in front of me. I am sure that I have a serious head injury when his arms wrap around me and one of his hands rests on the back of my head.

"How the hell are you alive?" he says, his voice full of relief. Colton is hugging me? I wrap my arms around his waist and try to hold in the tears that threaten to spill.

I can't believe he willingly hugged me.

"It was only a few days," I whisper and he pulls back so that he is facing me, confusion etched into his features.

"Rose... you were gone for three weeks," disbelief fills me and I don't know what to say. I knew I was gone for a while but not that long. How did no one find me? Did they even try?

I step back from Colton, his arms dropping to his sides.

"What?" I say, barely audible. My mind feels like it is going a thousand miles per hour and I don't know how to slow it down. How could so much time disappear and I have no recollection of it. I press both of my hands to the sides of my head as if trying to compress everything in my mind.

"What happened?" Colton's voice sounds like he is underwater. My mind is just completely screwed. Before I thought I was messed up but now, I'd take that times ten other than this. I look down at my hands, is this real? Am I just imagining this?

"Is this real?" I whisper, still staring at my blood-stained hands like they are ancient artifacts. I've for sure lost my mind. Rope burn covers my wrists and the cuts on my body are endless, along with the bruises.

"Everything is real love," he places his hands over mine and I flinch back so quickly I hit into the wall. I've had enough of people touching me.

"Let's get you cleaned up," he says gently and I nod, unable to form my thoughts into a coherent sentence.

***

I take off the torn, bloodied uniform but this time Colton keeps his eyes on my face. He's not looking at my body and making it obvious that he's doing it as he usually would - he keeps his eyes on mine and nowhere else.

I look at myself in the mirror and notice how visibly skinnier I am and the gashes across my ribs. They were skillful in how they were hurting me, they made sure I would bleed but not enough that I would bleed out. They would always leave me on the brink of death but not close enough where I could let myself go.

I sit on the lid of the toilet as Colton soaks a towel in some hot water. I am beyond tired and just want my brain to shut off for a while. "I know everything," my voice sounds raspy and exhausted. I almost don't recognise it.

"We don't need to talk about it right now," he opens one of the cupboards and gets out a medical kit before kneeling in front of me. He goes to take one of my hands but stops and looks at me for permission. I nod and he takes my hand in his. "You're so cold," he says quietly.

I don't feel it... I don't feel anything.

"Michael Hisan," I say as he begins to dab the wounds on my ribs with the towel, it sings in pain but I welcome it. I welcome the pain and let it reside in me. "He's the one who..." I trail off and Colton nods.

"They did all of this to you?" he spits and stares at the one big gash across my ribs that they did a while ago. I've learnt to live with the pain over the course of time that I was gone, so it's mostly just dull aches now and the odd discomfort here and there.

"With pleasure," I say. My mind reminds me of Haiden and how I killed him in such cold blood. He didn't do anything, he helped me and I killed him. "I killed someone," I deadpan.

There's so many emotions I am feeling that it's hard to express anything, to even understand what I am feeling.

"Are you okay?" Colton asks cautiously after a while. Am I? I mean I feel it but I don't. The pain is there if I want it to be but I can just as easily block it out.

"Fine," I shrug and I think I've for once shocked Colton.

"After this you need to eat and go to sleep," he says but no amount of sleep could cure this kind of tired. No amount of sleep could stop the voices.

***

"Tell us what you know," a gun is pointed at my chest, the man's finger on the trigger. I am sobbing and my body is shaking furiously.

"I don't know... please... I don't know anything," I cry and he clicks off the safety. "Please... I don't know!" I scream and he laughs in my face. I am hyperventilating and I'm sure my body is about to go into shock.

"Well... that's too bad for you isn't it," he sniggers. "You have just lost your value, there's no point in keeping you alive and letting you spill our secrets. You are now a liability and you know what happens to liabilities... they get killed," he pulls the trigger.

I sit up faster than I ever have before and clutch my chest. I turn on the lamp next to me to get rid of the darkness and it calms me by a margin. I am relieved when I remember where I am and who's here. I am so tired but I can't close my mind off. I have had the same dream every time I manage to fall asleep.

I look over the edge of the massive bed and make sure Colton is still there. He decided to sleep on the floor because he wanted to give me 'space' and said that I couldn't 'persuade him otherwise'.

I am wearing several layers of Colton's clothes but I am still frozen to the core. I wrap myself in a blanket and silently pad towards the bathroom.

I have no clue what day it is, what time it is... nothing.