"Ren, what do you mean she's no one important? Of course she's important, the girl is involved in this whole thing one way or another. At least just describe her."

"Fine. This girl changed me, we never talked much but when we did she was always really nice. She helped me get away from Snoke -"

"How did you know her?"

"She was in a couple of my classes in college. Sure, she was about two years younger but to me it didn't matter. The girl was smart and beautiful, I was going to confess to her, I was, but then -"

Ren stopped and sighed, "and then this happened. But it wouldn't matter anyways, because she betrayed me."

"Ren there's several thousand girls living in this state! At least say the college you attended."

"Force University."

"But there's a lot of girls there too -"

"Fine! You want to know the answer? It's you Rey! That god damn girl was you!"

Rey was quiet, she didn't know what to say.

"Kylo -"

"Forget it -"

Then he disappeared.

••{•}••

Soon it all came back to her. Maybe that's why Ren looked a bit familiar. He shared a couple of classes with her and often asked for advice. They weren't best friends but there was some sort of friendship there.

"Hey Kenobi!"
"Solo."
"I need advice."
"What about?"
"It's for my friend - this friend works for this shady company and does a lot of the bosses dirty work. He really wants to leave but he doesn't know if he can -"
"Well Solo, tell your friend this: as long as they believe in themselves it's fine. I truly believe that your friend can do this. All he has to do his try," Rey smiled at Ren before he smiled back.

It came back to her like a tsunami wave of emotions. She knew Ren, she knew him when he was a living breathing human being. Now it made sense, that night where she killed the Solos she was supposed to recognize Ben and help him. But she didn't. After taking up her job with Snoke she had gone to school a whole lot less, because of this the whole existence of Kylo Ren had faded from her mind. Well, until now.

••{•}••

She clicked around on the computer once she arrived back at the apartment. Rey had been downloading the recordings that her and Ren had gotten. It wasn't that hard and luckily Finn and Poe seemed less uneasy. It still bothered her, the fact that they were ignoring her still.

"Finn? Poe? Can you come here?" Her voice was calm and quiet, the desire to be loud and crazy was no longer there.

"Yeah Rey?" Finn had decided to be the one to speak. She couldn't blame Poe for being scared, if your friend had murdered 3 people you would feel weird too.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I just fucked everything up! I could've had you guys still - I could've had someone who liked me! But I gave it all away for Snoke! I'm so sorry, I'm a horrible person I know but I'm trying! I want to get better, I do! I want you guys to be my friends again! I want -"

Rey's voice faltered, she knew what she wanted to say: I want Ren to be alive again!
But she couldn't say it, she cleared her throat, and even them the words stayed inside her mouth.

"I just want everything to go back to like it was before! I'm just so sorry!" Rey collapsed onto the ground and started to cry. This whole ordeal had been hard on her, and Rey just needed to cry. Finn stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, he didn't say anything but to Rey it meant everything. Poe stood up and watched until he decided to give in. The two had missed her as much as she missed them.

"I'm - sorry..."

"It's okay, Rey it's going to be okay."

Authors Note: AND I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME, 'CAUSE I DONT THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND, WHEN EVERYTHING'S MADE TO BE BROKEN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM.