a series of poems inspired by Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson

they might be triggering for the following things:
a) eating disorders
b) self harm
c) alcohol
d) death

so yeah

~skip if you're sensitive to those~

the book is really good, but it's not for anyone sensitive to those things

| 1 | girl

dancing girl
eggshell girl
stepping over the cracks
so she doesn't fall into them girl

moonless girl
starlit girl
brittle hair and nails
because she refuses to live girl

icy girl
winter girl
frozen between awake
and something else far from it girl

calculating girl
mathematical girl
knows mental math because
she's always counting something girl

gasping girl
sinking girl
is it really drowning
if you crave water in your lungs girl

bleeding girl
screaming girl
you can't be saved
if you don't want saving girl

| 2 | numbers

she's weighing her worth
120, 110, 100,
reps up,
100, 200, 300
fingers down her throat in
3, 2, 1
her head feels light
is it pure?
no,
zero, zero, zero.

| 3 | haunting

six feet under, concrete bed,
you dig yourself out
to haunt my dreams
my nightmares
my waking life
you're behind me,
backseat driver,
guiding my hands to pills,
slapping them away from life
stab me with knives of our past
but you can't take me with you,
and I can't force you out

| 4 |
ring
ring
ring
the phone shrieks
thirty three times
unanswered
she's still calling
with a bottle of
liquid desperation
in one hand
and broken promises
in the other

| 5 |

she doesn't sleep
like the dead
because the dead never rest
in her head
and she's watching
always watching
always tempting
teasing
sitting on her chest
counting her heartbeat
as they slow, slow, slow
until they're zero