𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 — 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

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EIGHT O'CLOCK AT night and Brendon was absolutely exhausted. Maybe it was because he had an exhausting day where his Biology professor made him speak in front of the whole class and then a shift where he dealt with Monroe trying (trying as the key word) to seduce him into a free drink, or maybe it was because he had already cried twice that morning and was planning on a third time when he got back to his dorm.

He could handle public speaking even after a breakdown that morning. He could handle being almost late to class. However, he was certain that he almost snapped when Monroe – fucking Monroe – attempted flirting. It looked terrible and he thought he was amazing, which made it worse. Bren was laughing his ass off beside him and Izzy thought it well deserved after his poor performance at work the past few days.

In the end, Monroe gave a defeat scowl when Brendon told him the price of his coffee and cookie and made him pay a dollar more (not that Monroe knew that he was, but it was alright – he deserved it for thinking he could flirt). All Brendon got was chills down his spine, the need to puke, and an extra dollar in his pocket. Again, not that Monroe or anyone else knew, but that was okay. Thank God he always paid in cash.

But Monroe wasn't the worst thing about his day, neither was his classes. No, it was the unbearable silence in his dorm room when he woke up, when he got ready, and at night when he went to sleep. The silence at night was normal, he was usually already lost in his dreams by the time Cindy came back from patrolling (not counting the times when time was lost on him and he had assignments to finish). He was used to a grumpy Cindy in the morning as he snickered at her, he was used to her saying he sang too loud in the shower, he was used to her being there.

She wasn't.

Not anymore, at least. Not since they fought that night, even though he was barely a fight. It was one argument over one fault yet it changed everything and now Brendon Winchester lost his best friend and he was alone, crying in the morning because everything was too quiet and he missed her. Because dear God did he miss her.

He supposed that not everything was terrible. Bren still joked around with him and poked his side when he was working as he tried not to yelp (since that, apparently, was unprofessional or something) and Harry still gave him some time of day before staring into the eyes of Bren because they were beautiful or something. Brendon didn't see it, but that didn't mean it wasn't there.

And Betty came over one more time during this terrible time to use Cindy's bed. She didn't ask any questions about his roommate, which he was thankful for, but he guessed it was more out of the fact that she already knew than curtesy towards him. Still, he thought it was nice either way.

The only good thing about his day was that it was now over. Eight o'clock and his shift at the coffee shop that he both loved and hated (more-so hated) was over and he could go back to his dorm and cry again. Maybe that wasn't healthy and he should stop having a breakdown over losing his friend, but it had been days since he cried over it and his emotions were spilling over and he needed it. Even if it meant spending ten minutes on three separate occasions to cater to that need.

Brendon threw on his jacket, coming back out from the back and went behind the counter to say goodbye before leaving as he desperately wanted. Izzy was taking orders while Bren and another one of their co-workers, Kennedy, were making the drinks.

"Hey, I'm heading out now," he told Bren who was in the middle of pouring a drink from the blender into the plastic cup.

The Cooper boy nodded his head, directing a short smile to him. "Cool. Have a good night."

"I will," Brendon lied because, really, even though he needed to cry again it didn't mean that it would be good in the way Bren meant it. It was good for his aching soul but it wasn't good for fun. He didn't know anyone who just cried for fun, especially since he knew that he was going to create a new headache.

He waved to Izzy who did the same back to him and as he shuffled out the door he bumped into Harry. "Sorry," he muttered to the boy.

"No, it's my fault," Harry said with a laugh, "Bren working?"

He nodded, not surprised at the question since Harry rarely came when his crush wasn't working. It was cute but also incredibly infuriating since they hadn't made anything official yet even though it was so obvious that the two were head over heels for each other. Whatever, Brendon knew it would work out eventually.

"Yeah, he's making drinks right now though," Brendon answered, "You'll probably be able to catch his attention for a second."

"Good to know," Harry laughed, beaming since Bren was going to there to flirt with, even if it was only for a quick second. "See you later, Brendon!"

"See you later," he agreed as Harry opened the door and went into the shop where Bren was waiting. Brendon shook his head as he chuckled, moving to make the walk back to his dorm.

It wasn't terribly long but nothing on the way there stood out. It was boring which was probably the reason he resented it so much even though each step meant he was closer to his precious bed which he couldn't wait to collapse head face into. But, he made it there quick enough and got inside his dorm.

What he wasn't accounting for was the figure waiting inside there that he hadn't seen in days. Brendon knew that eventually she would have to come back, she was living there and all her clothes were still there, but he didn't think it would happen like this.

Cindy Moon was shuffling uncomfortably from one foot to the other as her hands intertwined together and she went back and forth between eye contact to avoiding his burning gaze. And Brendon, he was shocked.

He stood there for what felt like a solid minute just staring at her as if trying to decide if she were really or just a figment of his imagination before blinking and closing his mouth. Moving inside, the door closed behind him and Cindy cleared her throat.

"Hi," she said, an apprehensive smile on her face. God, it was so awkward, just as it had been in August when Brendon had just come up from Georgia and she was setting up her side of the room. Strangers expected to share a room together who had never had a real conversation before that point.

It grew into something beautiful, a great friendship between them that filled Brendon with happiness because even though he was separated from his family, he had Cindy. Cindy who told him her greatest secret, Cindy who helped him with Biology because she was a genius at it and he didn't even know how he passed it in high school. And him, who taught her Spanish because she always wanted to learn a different language and helped her in her American Warfare Techniques class because she was absolutely terrible at it and he had experience because his AP European History teacher ramble on about techniques.

"Hi," he replied back dumbly, not knowing what else to say because there was so much he wanted to yet didn't know where he could possibly start.

He could start with another apology, an explanation for why he told their friends that she had a girlfriend even though it was absolutely not true. He could ask for forgiveness, he could simply say that he'd only come to change before heading to the library so that they could avoid the conversation for a while longer and he could go have his breakdown somewhere else.

"Um," Cindy took a step, "I was just, I wanted – I, uh, um..."

"To get your stuff?" Brendon finished, hating that he even said it at all. He didn't want her to go and he knew that his sadness seeped into his words even if he didn't want them there, didn't want to force her into staying in a dorm with someone she resented all out of pity because he was sad.

"No, yes. I just – I," Cindy took a breath, closing her eyes as she collected herself before starting again, "I wanted to apologize."

"What?" Brendon let out before he could stop himself because of course that was the only thing that left his lips. He was so dumb but it was the only thing his brain could comprehend to say.

Why was she apologizing? She didn't have any reason to, he was the one who fucked up. He was the one who lied and made her life even more complicated when she already had to deal with school and saving people because crime still existed.

"I wanted to apologized," Cindy repeated herself, "because yelling out you was wrong. I was just, I was already peeved beforehand because of something that happened and I took it out on you when you didn't deserve it."

Brendon frowned. But he did deserve it, he did. She had no reason to apologize to him because he was the one in the wrong, she was just rightfully mad at him because of what he did. There was no reason for her to be uncomfortable and trying to say that she was sorry when there was no reason for it.

"But why?" Brendon couldn't help but ask, "You didn't do anything. I was the one who lied to them and put a whole mess on you. He just got mad at me, it's not a big deal."

Cindy looked taken aback by him, frowning to herself. "But it was wrong, Brendon. You were trying to help me and yeah, I'm not happy with what you came up with but that wasn't any reason for me to yell at you. You didn't deserve that, you shouldn't think you did."

He didn't say anything, mostly because he didn't know how to respond to that. Her points were correct, he was trying to help but his brain can't let him lie and it led to trouble, but she still had every reason to yell and hate him. It didn't make sense for her not to see that as well.

It was obvious that she could tell what was going through his head as she took another step forward. "Brendon, you're my best friend – you are – and I trusted you with Silk knowing that you can't lie to save your life and saying that I have a girlfriend really isn't that bad. I mean, compared to what you could've said. And – And I didn't mean to take out all my anger on you because of it because you didn't deserve it all."

"But I did," Brendon weakly insisted, throat closing up as he just wanted to cry again. God was he emotional. Here was Cindy, right here, apologizing and wanting to come back and not angry at him – not hating him – and all he wanted to do was cry because what did he do to deserve a friend like her?

Cindy sighed. "No, you didn't," and then she engulfed him a hug without another thought and he held her back as he left the tears fall. It felt so nice, having her right there. Hearing her breathing softly and feeling her right there, always right there.

She wasn't pulling away, she was allowing him to do this without moving and he thanked her silently for it. He grasped the back of her shirt, keeping it in place to ensure that she wasn't going to be disappearing anytime soon.

"I'm so sorry," he got out through the sobs, "I'm so sorry, I just – I missed you so much. Please don't leave me."

Her grip on him tightened and it made him cry more because he loved her so much. This was his best friend and he didn't know what he would do without her. "I missed you too," she responded in a whisper, "And I'm not going anywhere."

And the sobs racked through him. Cindy moved them back so that they were sitting on a bed. Whose, he didn't know but it didn't matter because she was right there and he was okay, everything was okay – or it would be once the tears stopped.

He felt something wet on his own shoulder, giving away that Cindy was crying with him. He laughed through the sobs, holding her close to him. He never wanted to let go, he wanted to hold on forever because Cindy was there and he didn't want her to leave ever again.

So they stayed and cried, holding each other until exhaustion took over. They were okay, though, they were together again.

＆

Harry knew he was a disaster. It was something his father commented on a lot, much like the fact that he caused his mother's death – that it should've been him who died instead of her. He knew that what he did was dangerous, could end in a complete disaster but he couldn't find himself stopping.

That was the problem, it was addicting. It wasn't as if the general public didn't know that, didn't know that the high outweighed the consequences because when you're numb and happy and everything's bright you don't mind what happens next. And then you're past the beginning steps, you're off the deep end and you depend on it, you need it to survive because without it you're stuck in misery and your body rejects not having it and you're stuck.

It's a disaster, really, but a good one. One that Harry found himself drawn to time and time again until, now, where he can't escape. Then again, did he even want to? No, the answer was no. He liked where he was, he liked the high and he never wanted it to end.

Money was never an issue for him. It wasn't surprising, he was the son of a billionaire who owned their own company that was well respected. He was the poster boy for being corrupted by no love in their house because daddy was out working, not caring about their own child, and a dead mother. The one who went to boarding school because daddy couldn't handle them, so they turned to rebelling and spending all the money they could so that maybe – maybe – daddy would finally look and see them. Listen, maybe.

Norman never did. Norman grew angry and soon Harry didn't find the anger appealing. It was the only emotion Norman knew how to express to him and while, in the beginning, to filled him just a little, thinking that maybe his anger was a way of showing that he cared, but in the end he crumbled because he wanted more but Norman would never give him more.

There would only be anger and that can't substitute love forever. So Harry grew quiet, all his rebellions were silent and went from grand schemes to the high he loved oh so much.

It was stereotypical to be a rich boy with a drug addiction, but that was Harry Osborn. Because while he was high he didn't care that daddy didn't love him, he didn't care that he wasn't a genius like his 'friends' around him. Because he was happy and all those pesky emotions like him. Everything was so bright around him and he was okay, he was more than okay.

And he didn't mind his addiction. That was probably bad to say, that was probably completely wrong and he needed a new attitude about since he could overdose at any moment if he wasn't careful, if the drugs were infused with something else. But he liked it. He needed it. So he never tried to stop.

No one around him ever commented about the fact that he was Harry Osborn. Either they were too far gone or they didn't care. Maybe they would blackmail him one day with photos of him getting high around strangers, but he didn't care. His image was already going down the drain and all that meant was an angry Norman, but whatever.

Lillian, a junior who he had slept with at the beginning of the year, leaned her head against his shoulder. She giggled but he remained stoic. "You're so hot," she complimented him, letting her hand trail against his chest, "God, I just want you so much."

He took her hand and dropped it from him, though he didn't shove her head off of him. "Not tonight," he told her. Lately, he didn't feel like sleeping with anyone. He blamed Bren Cooper for that because he was just so addicting as well.

It hadn't started off as much, Harry hadn't even looked at him. Until he did and everything changed. First it was just his eyes, how warm they are and how they twinkle whenever he got excited – which he got a lot. Then it was his laugh and how it changed like the weather and how cute all of them were. And it continued with how he spelt Harry's name whenever he ordered coffee. They bonded over of similar they were and it was nice.

And then, bam! He stared one day at Bren and realized that, shit, he was in deep. Bren was cute, too cute, and he was too far gone before he could even blink and shit – that probably wasn't a good thing. Who wanted Harry Osborn? Who wanted a boy with daddy issues and a drug addiction? Someone who probably shouldn't have been allowed into the college without daddy's money? No one, that was the answer, no one wanted someone like him.

But Bren flirted back and that was bad because even though Harry wanted to read more into it, he couldn't. Bren was just flirty by nature, he had to be, and even if it was only at Harry that didn't mean he had to get with the boy. He wanted to, desperately, but Bren deserved more than him.

So much more than him.

Lillian pouted, batting her eyelashes as she looked deep into his eyes, hoping to sway him. "Please? I promise I'll be a good girl," she purred.

He fought the urge to make a face as he took another hit. He really didn't want her, that night was just a low like every other one. "I just wanna get high tonight," he told her.

She huffed, moving her head from him. "Fine," she barked as she moved away from him, using her tricks on J.D. over in the corner.

The others, he didn't know. J.D. stood out because they stared a class together but the others he had never met before outside of this, not that he exactly wanted to either.

Harry took another hit before handing it to someone else and leaving, feeling good enough for the night. He just wanted to sleep, or attempt to now.

He put his hood up, taking the steps away from them as he looked past the buildings that were slowly turning off their burning lights. He didn't pay attention to the people he passed and they didn't glance at him either. It was probably too late to focus on anyone else for them to notice him. He often heard the whispers, knew who they were discussing and wanted to shrivel up.

He never did, though.

"Harry?" a voice called out. He stopped, looking over to where the voice came from and cursing. It was Bren.

Of course, his heart leapt at the sight of the boy, but his brain was going mad because here he was – high – and Bren was here. Bren! The Cooper boy jogged to reach him and Harry didn't move away.

He was smiling as he got to Harry. "Hey, what are you doing out so late?" he asked.

"With a friend," he lied. None of those people were his friends, they were just people struggling like him – though they weren't really struggling, but enjoying themselves. "Your shift just end?"

Bren nodded and they walked. "Yep. Thank God, there was a customer who just wouldn't leave even though we were clearly cleaning up and Izzy even told them they needed to pack up. Talk about annoying."

Harry laughed, more of it forced than actually being amused. Shit, it was just a terrible time. "At least you're out now," Harry offered.

The other boy hummed in agreement, hands inside his own jacket. "I'm glad I caught you again. Sorry I couldn't talk when you came in earlier."

"It's fine," Harry shrugged, "You were working. I shouldn't expect you to stop just to have a conversation with me, you could get fired."

"Yeah," Bren laughed, "But still, I don't know. I like talking to you, and I like it when you come in during my shift. It's the light of it."

Harry felt his brain freeze for a minute as he processed what Bren said. He wanted to squeal, cry, and everything in between. His heart was most definitely going wild. "I like talking to you too. And – And getting coffee," Harry forced out.

Bren chuckled at him but he didn't mind. It was a beautiful sound, how could he?

Conversation continued to fill the air around them until Bren stopped at his dorm building, giving Harry one last smile as he walked inside. He swallowed, watching the boy jog away from him. When he got back to his own empty dorm – Peter was never there, he never gave much thought as to why – he collapsed on the bed, screaming into a pillow.