Third place winner of the Mad
Day Contest, written by
Gadralneure

The Mad Hatter's Letter

Dearest Mater, 

I realize, with deepest regret, that I am long overdue in my endeavor to visit you. As you know, I am not one to make excuses, but there are good reasons I have been delayed: 

1. The Borogroves have been especially mimzied of late causing a tremulous increase in gyring that disrupted the wabes, knocking down several TumTum trees and bringing exiting traffic to a standstill. 

2. It is always six in the evening and that is simply too late to begin a journey. 

I will not even mention those preceding excuses to you. I am also not one to blame my woes upon another, though obviously my delay is the fault of my friend, the March Hare. 

During teatime, I was asking of no one in particular, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"Dormouse answered sleepily, " both produce flat notes and both were written upon by Edgar Allen Poe." 

This answer sent the March Hare into a frenzy. He went on such a rampage that it took us quite some time to bring him to his senses, thus delaying my journey. 

Rest assured I shall be galumphing home shortly, there will be no further postponement. 

I am not one to procrastinate and as soon as I finish my evening tea, I shall begin to prepare for my departure. 

Yours beamish boy in uffish thought, 

Hatter