CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
where the boys are.
season three, episode seven.

          "OKAY, SUNSCREEN, YOUR INSECT REPELLENT, AND A SHOVEL TO BURY YOUR POOP," Izzie said to George as she handed him his backpack full of camping equipment. From the front door, Derek glared at Burke for inviting the intern on their trip.

"Izzie, I'm not five." George looked down to his jacket. "Zip me?"

Cassie came down the stairs, frowning at the sight of tents and coolers in the living room. "Georgie, what's going on?"

"They're camping," Izzie answered.

Cassie shot her a look. "I didn't ask you."

"We're camping," George repeated, oblivious to Derek wincing as he spoke.

"Camping?" Cassie exclaimed angrily. She turned to Derek, narrowing her eyes accusingly. "I thought that was our thing!"

"It's a guys trip," he defended himself. "Guys, meaning no girls."

"That's sexist," Cassie countered.

"It's not—"

"I can't believe you didn't invite me," she frowned, giving him her signature puppy dog eyes that in the past twenty three years of her life, he'd never said no to.

Derek sighed. "Fine, you can come, but—"

"Give me five minutes!" she interrupted him, racing back up the stairs with a wide grin on her face.

"If Callie calls, tell her I'm a mountain man," George boasted. "Man of the wild, right Dr. Burke?"

Burke leaned over to Derek. "Okay, him, I invited. But you invited Harper, so we're even."

"Izzie baked us treats!" George grinned from across the room.

Derek rolled his eyes. "At least Cassie doesn't bring treats to go camping."

☆

"I just said we needed an extra tent," George frowned.

Derek, Burke, George, Cassie, and Webber were in the bar, evidently waiting for Joe and Walter to finish packing up.

"Well, it looks like he misunderstood," Cassie smirked.

"Do you want to follow us, or should we follow you?" Joe asked as Derek mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

"Hey guys," Alex said, passing by the group. Derek gave Cassie an exasperated look.

George put his hands up in defense. "That wasn't me, I swear."

☆

The group arrived at the camp, each of them setting up their tents and getting ready for the day ahead of them.

"That is a nice looking picnic basket," George said to Webber, pointing to his assortment of different fancy cheeses and crackers.

"Thank you," he smiled. "The concierge at the hotel put it together. We've got crackers, pâté, and an assortment of Seattle soft cheeses."

George, Alex, and Cassie shared a look.

"What the hell is pâté?" Cassie wondered.

"Dude, he brought silverware," Alex laughed.

"You should talk," George laughed, shaking his head and rolling out his sleeping bag.

"Yeah," Cassie agreed, "have you ever been camping before, Alex?"

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You're wearing a t-shirt and sneakers. You're going to freeze your ass off."

"So what? I'm wearing a jacket."

George snorted at him. "Just don't come crawling to me in the middle of the night when you want to huddle for warmth."

"Fine, I'll just go to Cassie," Alex smirked.

"In your dreams," she scoffed, before smiling mischievously. "Plus, I'm sharing a tent with George. So, I mean, if you wanna lay with us in some weird threesome huddle, go for it."

George laughed and gave the girl a high-five, while Alex rolled his eyes. Derek, who heard the interaction, gave Cassie a thumbs up from across the camp.

"That's a good looking tent Joe," Webber said. "You and Walter got room for one more?"

Cassie stifled a laugh.

Joe grimaced. "We thought you'd be sleeping with one of the doctors."

"Well, Preston's and Derek's only have room for one."

"Well, Walter and I were hoping to share this one. You know, just the two of us," Joe said, before sighing defeatedly. "But I guess if you really want to."

"Chief, I don't think you really—" Alex began to interject.

"They've offered Karev."

"They want to be alone..." George trailed off, looking at Cassie, who rolled her eyes and told it like it is.

"Walter is Joe's boyfriend."

Webber raised his eyebrows. "Oh! Oh, so you two are, um—"

Burke smirked. "Chief."

"Wonderful... man love," he cleared his throat. "Beautiful. My cousin's gay... so I'm hip. Brokeback Mountain and all that."

"Brokeback Mountain?" Cassie mouthed to Derek, who was trying to keep himself from laughing.

"So who's ready to go fishing?"

"I am!"

☆

"I'm really glad you invited me to your bro campout today," Cassie said quietly as she fished next to Derek. She knew better than to speak at full volume, because it scared away the fish. "I know my presence kind of kills the whole bro aspect of the trip."

Derek looked at her with a smile and shook his head. "You know that I love camping with you. And if we're being honest, you're the only one here that isn't driving me insane."

Cassie sighed. "You know, back at the hospital, I felt so suffocated."

Derek turned his body to face her, listening intently. "What do you mean?"

"With everything that's happened recently, I haven't really taken a moment to breathe. I just," she paused, "I needed this. I needed to breathe."

Derek smiled in admiration for his sister, and cast his fishing line back into the water.

After about fifteen minutes or so, Derek and Cassie were joined by Burke and Webber.

"Joe and Walter got tired of not catching any fish," Webber observed. "What do you make of that?"

"Huh?" Cassie frowned, internally questioning if her Chief was homophobic. "Joe and Walter?"

"No, no," he laughed nervously. "Joe and Walter are great. I meant that we hadn't caught any fish. Any theories?"

The two honorary siblings shared a look. "Just one," Derek said bitterly. "Fish generally don't like to go where there's a lot of noise."

"He's not wrong," Cassie added.

"People moving, chatting. laughing, that sort of thing. That sort of thing that lets the fish know they're not alone."

Burke shrugged. "So, I invited other people."

Derek scoffed. "This is not a frat party."

Cassie pointed behind them, where Alex and George were aggressively throwing punches at each other. "You sure about that?"

"Hey, what are you guys doing? Break it up!"

☆

"I don't condone fighting. I don't like fighting. I think it's foolish. But you two idiots seem determined to beat the hell out of each other. So, if you're going to do it, you're going to do it by my rules."

Webber stood between George and Alex, who were glaring at each other with contempt. Cassie sat off to the side between Burke and Derek, while Walter and Joe were a few feet to their right.

"Rules?" George frowned.

"Yes, O'Malley, rules, to protect your hands, so you don't do irreparable damage—" Webber said before he was cut off.

"You're dead," Alex spat.

"—damage that would end your careers before they even started," he finished. "So, with that in mind, we're going to do open handed combat."

Cassie let out a laugh, drawing the other's attention. "What, like a slap fight?"

"A slap fight?!" the two interns exclaimed.

"Open handed combat," Webber repeated. "No scratching—"

"This is ridiculous. Karev will kill him," Derek sighed.

"Not necessarily," Burke disagreed.

"—no punching, no kicking, no wrestling moves of any kind. Are there any questions?"

Cassie raised her hand. "Can I go home?"

"That doesn't leave us with much," George scoffed.

"O'Malley's a scrapper," Burke quietly defended George.

"A scrapper?" Derek scoffed. "Karev is going to destroy him."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Cassie cut in. "Remember that black eye Alex got a few months ago? That was all my Georgie."

"He's tougher than he looks," Burke agreed. "Silent, but deadly."

"This is immature and stupid. I thought you'd agree with me. Maybe not Cass, because god knows she loves a good fight, but definitely you."

"This is not a good fight," Cassie corrected him. "This is a slap fight."

"They're letting off some steam," Burke shrugged. "This is why you don't have any guy friends."

Derek shook his head. "This is why I should have come alone." Cassie cleared her throat. "With Cassie. Alone, with Cassie."

"That's what I thought," she winked.

Soon thereafter, the two boys were slapping each other like their lives depended on it.

"Get him, get him!"

"Go Georgie!" Cassie cheered. "Yeah, beat his ass!"

"Whatever it was Karev, don't take it back," Burke called out.

Derek rolled his eyes. "We don't even know why they're fighting."

"Arms, O'Malley, don't drop your arms!"

"Hey! No wresting!"

"Go Georgie!"

"This is stupid."

"George is defending his honor," Cassie told Derek. "Alex says that Mark has been sleeping with Callie."

"What?" he asked shocked.

"I mean, I don't blame him. She's super hot."

"Next time, we are not going camping with straight guys," Walter said to his boyfriend, causing the girl to laugh under her breath.

Alex grabbed George and started pushing him, and they unfortunately got pushed directly into Walter. He was knocked down hard, and hit his head on the corner of a sharp rock.

☆

After giving Water stitches, which consisted of George watching Burke's hand suspiciously close, the gang went back to fishing.

"So, that Mark Sloan," Burke started. "He's bad news, yeah?"

"He's my best friend," Cassie prefaced. "But, uh, he tends to cause problems, quite often."

"Interesting," Burke mused.

"He's like a cancer. He infects everything," Derek cut in sharply. "What are we, three hours away from Seattle? And still he infects everything. You know, I thought that if I just got away for a while I'd get some answers. A fresh start."

"Fresh starts," Webber shook his head. "No such thing."

"Any other words of wisdom that you'd like to give us Chief?" Derek asked sarcastically.

"I'm living in a hotel. I buy most of my clothes from the hotel gift shop, and my wife wont speak to me."

Cassie awkwardly shifted on her feet, but still felt kind of cool to be accepted into the guy talk.

They all looked at Burke, who shrugged them off. "Well don't look at me. I came out here for the same reasons you did. I have no wisdom. There is no wisdom here."

The three men looked at Cassie, who shrunk slightly under their stares.

"I live with the girl who killed my pseudo father and heavily rely on my anxiety medication to function, so I'm probably not the best person to come to for advice."

Derek slowly nodded. "So, in other words, we're all a bunch of idiots."

"Yep."

"Yeah."

"Basically."