CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
testing 1-2-3.
season three, episode twenty four.

          IT WAS EXAM DAY, AND CASSIE WAS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT. If you looked at Cassie's track record of important tests, you would see that she'd aced every single one of them, quite literally; she'd never gotten anything less than one hundred percent on a test since her first day of college when she was fourteen years old.

Still, Cassie was totally freaking out. She hadn't slept in two days, and had her deck of three hundred flash cards practically burned into her brain.

It'd been like this for every exam she'd ever taken. She freaks out, has a panic attack right before, takes the test, and is super confident afterwards.

It's an exhausting cycle.

"How do you treat pancreatic divisum?" Cassie asked, sitting criss crossed on the kitchen counter. "Blondie?"

Izzie stayed silent, making Cristina shout her name to get her attention.

"Ugh, guys," Izzie groaned. "If you're not gonna let us sleep, you at least have to let me put coffee in my cup."

Cristina shrugged. "Okay, so go. No one's stopping you."

"I'm too tired to go."

"Pancreatic divisum," Cassie repeated.

"Dorsal duct sphincterotomy," Alex answered with a yawn, sitting down to eat his cereal.

"Not your turn, but correct," she nodded, handing him the flash cards. "Good job. Now you do me."

"I can't believe O'Malley's missing this," he sighed, taking the cards from her hands. "How's he gonna be ready?"

"Oh, you're kidding, right?" Cristina scoffed. "We have Callie's cards, but George has—"

"George has Callie," Izzie cut her off.

"But you know what?" Cristina shook her head. "We have Cassie, who is McAngel, Dr. Genius, and our own personal textbook all wrapped into one. We'll be fine."

Cassie tilted her head. "Thank you?"

"What's the most frequent cause of diarrhea in hospitalized patients?"

"Is Callie coming to this bachelorette thing tonight?" Izzie asked.

"Rotavirus. Yes," Cristina answered both questions. "Uh, no, no, no. Uh, salmonella."

"Diarrhea in hospitalized patients," Alex repeated.

"The most frequent cause of diarrhea in hospitalized patients is C Diff, which can lead to toxic megacolon, perforation, sepsis and death," Cassie answered, after chugging her third coffee of the morning.

"That's what killed Susan," Meredith said suddenly, passing through the kitchen and leaving as soon as she entered.

A week before, Meredith's dad's wife, Susan, came into the hospital with hiccups, and never left, resulting in Meredith getting bitch slapped by her grieving father.

Cassie had to be held back, or else she would have punched him out.

Izzie frowned. "Is she okay?"

"Oh, she's fine," Cassie and Cristina said in unison, making subtle eye contact.

"Dude, she's messed up," Alex laughed.

"Of course she's messed up," Izzie said. "Susan was basically her surrogate mother."

"Yeah, her fake mom was better than her real mom."

"Is she going to the hospital first, or the funeral?"

"First to the hospital, then to the funeral, then to the test this afternoon," Cassie said nonchalantly.

"Has she even studied?"

Cristina waved him off. "Yeah, she studied. She's fine. She just needs to be left alone, okay?"

"So, what's inside the carotid sheath?" Cassie spoke up, answering the question in her head before anyone else got a chance.

☆

The interns were staring into the ER, longingly gazing at the hikers being treated, who had been stranded in the woods for days. Cassie was the only one studying, somehow managing to simultaneously read her flash cards and watch the scene unfold.

"We're supposed to be studying. If Bailey finds out we're down here..." Izzie trailed off.

"We are studying," Cristina said. "How do you treat frostbite?"

"Re-warm, avoid early surgery, unless there's a deep infection due to auto-amputation," Cassie answered quickly.

"See?" she smirked. "Studying."

"I haven't stopped studying in days," Cassie said monotonously. "I'm pretty sure I can actually feel the information being engrained into my brain."

"Should we be worried about her?" George asked Cristina lowly.

She shook her head. "No, this is her process."

Another hiker entered the ER, and the interns instantly perked up. Cassie even set down her cards to watch. "Okay, okay, Mr. Meltzer, Mr. Meltzer, I'm gonna need you to save your breath, okay? We're gonna give you some pain meds," Burke said.

"It hurts," he groaned.

Burke nodded. "You have several broken ribs, which are compromising your breathing. You understand?"

"Did you see that?" Cristina exclaimed to Cassie and Meredith as they walked away.

"That is freaky," Meredith agreed.

Cassie sighed. "I think that was a flail chest. I've never seen one before!"

"Come on. Come on," Cristina whined. "Why, oh, why, does today have to be test day?"

"Oh, I know," Meredith said grimly, causing the other two to give her sympathetic looks.

"Look," Cassie paused. "I bet you if you talk to the Chief, he'll let you take the test later... with the funeral and everything."

"I don't need to take the test later," Meredith instantly denied.

The other two shared a nervous look. "Okay."

☆

"What is biloma?" Cristina asked Meredith.

When she didn't answer, Cassie repeated the question. "What is biloma?"

"Guys," Meredith sighed, walking into the lobby with the rest of the interns. "I really don't have time. Okay, a biloma is an intperitoneal bile fluid collection."

"Excellent," they chorused.

"Okay? I'll be fine."

When he looked up from his chart, George noticed an obviously drunk Thatcher Grey coming up to his daughter. "Meredith..."

Meredith shook her head, unknown to the man's presence. "George, I gotta go."

"Your dad," he said.

Cassie turned around, instinctively stepping closer to her friend.

"Hey," Meredith said surprised. "I was just on my way—"

"No," Thatcher interrupted. "I came here to tell you, you're not wanted. I don't want you at any funeral, Meredith."

Cassie stepped between them. "Okay, why don't you just—"

"She trusted you!" he shouted, glaring at his daughter. "She came to you for help, and you killed her! You did. You killed my wife. You took her from me."

"Dad!" his daughter, Molly, scolded as she exited the elevator.

"So I don't... I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear from you, and I don't want you anywhere near her funeral. You understand me? Do you understand me?"

"Dad, dad, come on. This... Lexie's waiting in the car. We have to go, dad. We have to go now."

Cassie glared at him. "You should go."

"She was everything to me, all I had," Thatcher mumbled as he was escorted away. "She was all I had."

☆

Cassie shuffled out of the storage closet, with puffy eyes and red cheeks. She had her annual pre exam panic attack, which she was used to, though it never got easier to deal with.

Mark spotted her, and walked up to her with a smile on his face, which quickly faded when he saw the state she was in. "Cass, what happened?"

"Oh, nothing," she shrugged. "The intern exam is in twenty minutes, that's all."

He furrowed his brows. "You took your medication today, right?"

"I did, but it doesn't... it's okay, honestly. It happens, I'm okay now," Cassie assured him.

"Alright," he paused, making sure that she was actually okay. "Well, here. I figured you haven't eaten today, and you're going to want your brain to be as sharp as possible."

He handed her a granola bar, orange juice, and a banana. Cassie smiled fondly, ignoring the warm feeling she got when she realized how much he cared.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "You know, studies show that eating a banana can help you learn more efficiently, as well as improve exam scores. They also contain vitamin B6, which promotes the production of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain to support concentration."

Mark raised a brow. "Really?"

"Yep," she nodded. "Also, orange juice has been shown to boost alertness and concentration. Flavonoids in the juice reduce inflammation and improve blood flow to the brain, which is found to have positive effects on cognition."

"You got this in the bag," he smirked. "I know I didn't spend those hours studying with you for nothing. Go and make me proud, Cass."

"I will," she smiled, taking a bite of her granola bar, and feeling the panic slowly fading away.

☆

"Please take your seats, doctors, and put all study materials away."

Cassie took a deep breath, chugged the last bit of her orange juice, placed her flash cards face down on the floor, and picked up her pencil.

"Okay, if you don't know the answer, choose B," Cristina whispered. "It's always B."

Cassie shared a look with George, when they noticed that Meredith didn't seem completely there.

"She'll be fine," she whispered, sending him a smile with a thumbs up. "Good luck!"

"Yeah," he nodded, returning the gesture. "You too."

"Write your name in the upper right hand corner of your answer sheets, and you may open your test booklets... now."

☆

After the exam, Cassie walked out of the room with her head held high. "I killed it," she told Alex. "I freakin' killed it."

"That makes two of us," he smirked, giving her a well deserved high five.

"Meredith!" George shouted. The interns looked down the hallway, spotting Meredith walking away and not looking back. "She didn't write anything on the test," he told them. "She didn't answer a single question. She just sat there."

"Wait, George," Cassie stopped him from going after her.

Cristina sighed. "Just give her a second."

☆

"It's not like she actually flunked. She just didn't write anything," Izzie shrugged, looking down at Meredith sitting in the waiting area.

Alex scoffed. "It's kinda like she actually flunked."

"One guy two years ago, he was on call three nights before his test," George raised a brow. "He slept through the whole thing. He had to repeat his intern year."

"She can't repeat her intern year. It's pathetic," Izzie sighed. "We have to do something. Cristina. Cassie."

"What?" they chorused.

"Um, I don't know," Cassie shrugged. "I mean, we don't—"

"We don't fail things," Cristina finished her thought. "This is not in our book."

All of their pagers went off in unison. "It's Bailey. We gotta go."

"We can't just leave her here."

"You got a better idea?" Alex asked.

With one last reluctant look to Meredith, they left and found Bailey.

"Okay, it's show time, people," Bailey clapped her hands together. "Yang, you're scrubbing in with Dr. Burke. Karev, you're with Dr. Montgomery. Stevens, find Dr. Sloan. O'Malley, Harper, Dr. Shepherd will page you when he needs you in surgery."

☆

While Cassie was waiting to be paged, she found herself sitting next to Meredith, who'd had a blank look on her face for hours.

Meredith sighed. "You gonna give me a pep talk too?"

Cassie shook her head. "Nope."

There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both girls in their own worlds.

"How did you deal with your mom dying?" Meredith asked out of the blue.

Cassie thought for a moment. "If I'm being honest, I didn't. One day, it just... didn't hurt as badly." She paused. "I know that there's no pep talk in the world that I could give you to make you feel better, but I'm here for you. If you need me."

"You're my person," Meredith said, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"I'm your person," Cassie repeated, as Meredith leaned against her shoulder.

☆

George and Cassie were in surgery on one of the hikers with Derek, both assisting to his left. "The patient's laminotomy happens at what level, Dr. Harper?"

"The level of maximal neural compressions between the pedicles of the fractured vertebrae."

Derek smiled under his mask. "Very good. You must have aced your exam today."

She smirked. "You bet your ass I did."

"Dr. O'Malley, what is the main focus of this surgery?"

"Removing all or part of a herniated disc, or bone spurs causing nerve compression," George answered.

"Georgie aced it too," Cassie grinned.

"I don't know about aced," he said sheepishly.

Derek looked up from his surgical glasses. "How did Meredith do?"

George looked at Cassie before answering. "Yeah, she was kinda... don't worry, though. I talked to the Chief."

Derek frowned. "About what?"

"She didn't tell you?" Cassie asked confused.

"No."

Cassie laughed awkwardly. "Oh. Nevermind."

☆

"Here she is," Cassie said, bringing Meredith into the room where Webber was waiting for her with an extra test booklet.

"Thank you, Harper. You can go now."

"We'll be waiting right outside."

Meredith shook her head. "You don't have to."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes.

Cassie sat down with the others on the stairs, waiting for Meredith to finish her test.

"Well, at least test day is almost over," Alex said.

Cristina scoffed. "Speak for yourself. I'm getting married tomorrow."

☆

Cassie was at the bar, talking to Joe about the babies he and Walter were trying to adopt. "I'm really happy for you, Joe!" she smiled. "You two deserve to be parents."

Joe sighed. "Yeah, well I could barely make it through an ultrasound, how am I supposed to be a father?"

"Hey," she said. "You and Walter are going to make great parents, trust me."

"Thanks, Cassie," he smiled, turning around to help another customer.

"So," Mark said, coming up behind her. "The exam is over. Does that mean I can get you that drink now?"

Cassie looked behind him, spotting the table of drunk attendings. "Aren't you at Burke's bachelor party right now?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Aren't you supposed to be at a bachelorette party right now?"

"I'm on my way," she smiled. "I just stopped by to talk to Joe, I'm headed over their right now." Cassie tilted her head, leaning against the counter. "Maybe another time?"

"Yeah," he smiled softly. "Another time."