CHAPTER SEVENTY ONE
shiny happy people.
season six, episode twenty two.

[ this chapter is over 14.5k words,
so grab a snack and settle in! <3 ]

CASSIE KNEW SHE LOOKED HOT.

It wasn't every day that she prided herself on her appearance; well, it was most days, but she hadn't given it much thought recently, as she had far bigger problems than whether or not or her hair was brushed. But with the eager help of both Lexie and Callie earlier that evening, she'd managed to find a dress buried in the back of her closet that was deemed suitable to bring her back to her old ways of turning heads.

Soft, red satin enveloped her frame, similar to the dress she'd worn on Christmas a few months before, the dress which had Mark practically drooling at her feet.

This dress was different, though. It fit loosely around her waist, allowing her more than enough room to eat the fancy snacks that Derek caterer's would inevitably provide.

And however much she may have absolutely hated Derek's guts at the moment, he had a proven history of knowing the best places to get rich people food, and Cassie planned to take full advantage. But still, however delicious the food would be, that wasn't the only reason Cassie planned to attend Derek's 'Six Months Of Being The Chief' party.

Despite how egotistical the entire thing was in Derek's favor, she was actually excited to go; not because of her lying pseudo-brother, but because wherever there was a work party, there was also Mark Sloan wearing a suit somewhere nearby.

And luckily for Cassie, this suit was really, really nice; she'd quite literally tripped over her own two feet when she walked into Meredith's house. Thankfully, Lexie caught her before she could actually fall face-first into the hardwood floors.

But, she'd been able to make a quick recovery, now standing in front of the bar while sandwiched between Alex and Lexie, both of whom were holding a glass of white wine.

(Cassie decided to go with her usual tequila.)

"Stop fidgeting," Cassie chastised Alex with a roll of her eyes, downing the rest of her drink and setting the glass on the counter behind her. He hadn't stopped messing with the tie around his neck for the past two minutes, and it was starting to drive her insane. "Just smile and act pretty."

"I am pretty," he countered, tightening and loosening his tie even more dramatically. "And I hate ties. And you two are fidgeting."

Cassie didn't disagree. "I can't stop thinking about Mark looking all Saturday Night Fever. And I think Lex just has to pee."

"No, I-I'm just wearing a thing that sucks in my fat," Lexie scoffed in offense, a hand ghosting over her sides in silent insecurity. "You'd be fidgeting too."

Cassie didn't bother controlling the confused frown she sent her way, not understanding what she was even referring to. Alex mimicked the expression, shaking his head with an airy laugh when he told her, "You don't have any fat."

Lexie rolled her eyes, lowering her voice the slightest bit. "I couldn't zip the dress without it, you guys. I have fat."

Cassie took the opportunity as it was, a chance to rake her eyes up and down Lexie's body without shame. After coming to the not-so-subtle realization that she wanted to be with Mark, Cassie decided to stop sleeping with Lexie, since it sort of felt like she was cheating, in a way.

That, and that she didn't want the blonde to get romantically attached, as she valued their friendship far too much for it to be ruined over something so small. But still, that didn't stop Cassie from admiring what was right in front of her.

All she gathered, was that even if Lexie did have fat, she still would've looked super hot, because she's Lexie.

"It's just your ass," Alex blurted, not even having to think about it. "It looks good fat."

"He's not wrong," Cassie added, "It's a nice ass."

"Well, I-" Lexie couldn't help but blush from the compliments, everywhere from her cheeks down to her exposed collarbones turning a faint shade of pink at the praise. "Thank you."

Cassie winked faux-flirtatiously, more than willing to be of service. Really, the idea of Lexie fucking Grey not seeing herself as attractive seemed super far-fetched to her, but she was always happy to give her friends a much needed confidence boost.

"This party blows."

Alex's comment may have been out of the blue, but it wasn't incorrect. Cassie had already managed to fill up on a plate of some fancy crackers covered in cheese (or something that vaguely resembled cheese), and Mark was no longer anywhere to be found, so she really didn't see the point in staying. She certainly wasn't there for anything else.

"Wanna go upstairs and drink in the bathtub?"

While Alex seemed to be considering Cassie's offer, Lexie sent her a stern glare, lightly smacking her in the arm with the back of her hand. "We're here to support Derek, Cass."

"Uh, no, you're here to support Derek," Cassie corrected her, unapologetic in her tone. "I'm here to get drunk on expensive liquor and stalk my ex-boyfriend."

As if on cue, Mark emerged from the office, along with both Derek and Owen; what they were doing in there, Cassie had no clue, but that's not quite what she chose to focus on.

Mark wore a dark grey, black-lined suit, which fit snug to his arms and emphasized the outline of practically every single muscle on his body. He looked so good that, just for a moment, Cassie genuinely thought she was about to faint. Lexie followed her gaze across the room, absentmindedly prepared to catch her on her way down.

"He can see you staring, you know."

Typically, Cassie would be irritated by Alex snapping her out of her many daydreams, but this time, it didn't go unappreciated.

Her eyes snapped down to the ground, her lip popping back into place from it's place between her teeth. Cassie didn't even realize she was biting her lip, now second guessing if she looked hot, or if she just looked like she was horny. She really, really hoped it was the former, just for her own sake.

A hearty chuckle could be heard from across the room, a shiver running up her back at the sound. Cassie knew that laugh, and she knew it very well.

(Fuck, had she been caught?)

Shifting on her feet after a few seconds of focusing on nothing in particular, she slyly looked back at him, only to see that-

Mark saw the whole thing. The weird lip-biting, the shiver, the unfocused eyes, everything. He was wearing a wild smirk when they made eye contact, the sight making Cassie roll her eyes as he sent her a wave, his jaw purposely clenching just so her gaze would be drawn to his lips.

That fucker.

Without breaking eye contact, and with an exuberant amount of fake confidence, Cassie flipped her hair over her bare shoulder, the spaghetti straps of her dress giving Mark a direct eyeline to her neck. Though she'd never received an explanation as to why, he'd always had a thing for that part of her body.

Typically, Cassie wouldn't publicly exploit one of his kinks, but then again, she needed all the help she could get; if Mark was playing a game, then Cassie intended to win.

"Oh, Jesus," Alex groaned aloud, him and Lexie in a silent agreement that they planned to forget the way the two practically fucked with their eyes. "Get a room, Cass."

Cassie broke her and Mark's staring match with a raise of her brow, as if to say, if you don't like me gawking from across the room, then come over here and fucking do something about it. Mark just smiled, rather cheekily, sending her a subtle shake of his head while bringing his glass of scotch back up to his lips.

She then turned to grin at Alex, not embarrassed in the slightest; she was never one to have much, if any, shame. "Gladly."

"So are you two, like, a thing again?"

Lexie's question was a valid one, but that didn't stop the flicker of annoyance from building in Cassie's chest. Not annoyance towards Lexie, but towards herself, because she still didn't know the answer.

"I don't know," was all she said. "Even if I wanted to get back together, I don't think he would, so."

Alex made a face of disagreement. "I thought you were supposed to be smart." Cassie would have taken offense, if she hadn't been openly acting like a complete and utter idiot for the past year. "Dude, the guy worships you."

Cassie supposed that was true, although, maybe not so much anymore. Now that Mark had seen her at her lowest, she couldn't imagine him ever seeing her in the same light as before. But then again, it wouldn't hurt to try and ask him to give her another chance, would it? The worst that could happen is that he says no, thus crushing her heart and soul and sending her into a downward spiral of unfixable grief.

(Yeah, maybe she should just keep her mouth shut.)

Lexie ignored Alex's remark, briefly glancing at a very smug-looking Mark from across the room. "Do you want to get back together with him?"

Cassie was afraid that if she said her answer out loud, she would jinx it, so she only responded with an unsure, slightly downturned smile, accompanied by a quiet, "I-I don't know."

"Well, you better decide quick," Alex snorted, using his free hand to point to the man in question. "Otherwise tinkerbell over there might steal your man."

Sure enough, when Cassie glanced back to Mark - who was supposed to be looking at her - his attention was focused on a short, abnormally petite woman with short hair, who she vaguely recognized as a doctor from Mercy West. Cassie was pretty sure her name was Rita, or Ruby, or something like that, but she'd never really bothered to learn it.

The woman was obviously flirting with him, which annoyed her enough, but that wasn't the worst part; no, Cassie was about fifty percent sure that Mark was flirting back.

(She didn't realize how harshly she was biting the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood.)

"I should go over there," Cassie stated, though, it came out as more of a question. Briefly turning back to Alex and Lexie, she repeated, "I should go over there, right?"

Lexie made a face that screamed absolutely not, but by the time she went to speak, Alex had already cut her off.

"Totally. Fight for your love, or whatever."

Cassie took the suggestion as face value, fixing her hair at the speed of light and checking her lipstick in Lexie's glass before she made her move.

As she practically strutted her way over to the two, she had time to reconsider her decision. And after a lot of thought, she decided that she needed to be even meaner than she originally planned, because this girl was actually quite cute; she wasn't exactly hot, though, so at least Cassie had that going for her.

Once Cassie was out of earshot, Lexie roughly slapped Alex in the arm, prepared to scold the hell out of him. "Why would you-"

"Dude," Alex rubbed his arm, interrupting her before she could go off on what would inevitably be an irritatingly long monologue. "Chill. This is gonna be funny, just watch."

"I am not going to watch-" Lexie scoffed with a roll of her eyes, just as Cassie appeared by Mark's side with a devilish gleam in her eye, "-ooh, shut up, she's about to say something!"

When Cassie approached them, she was smiling.

It wasn't that she was purposely looking for a way to ruin the night, but once she got a good look at the girl (and overheard her say something about Mark being inspiring), Cassie was pleased to see that there was a clear shot just waiting for her to take.

"Oh my god, I love your dress!"

To anyone who knew Cassie, it was obvious that her smile was a dangerous one; to Mark, though? From just a single glance, he knew it would be deadly. Pearly whites taking up practically her whole face, eyes wide despite them scrunching up at the corners, and an overtly fake happiness in her tone; Cassie was fucking jealous.

Mark smirked to himself at the realization, not bothered in the slightest that she'd interrupted their conversation. Truthfully, he'd been hoping that she would.

The woman's eyes drifted her way, looking her up and down, before she spit out a curt, "Thanks."

Cassie tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing a fraction of an inch; only enough for Mark to notice.

"You know, it actually reminds me of- have you seen Carrie?" Despite the fact that Cassie was playing dumb, Mark knew her better than to think this would end in anything but a backhanded compliment. At first, the woman didn't respond to her question, seeming a bit lost, so Cassie took the liberty to clear things up. "You know, like, Carrie? The movie? Stephen King-?"

"Yeah," the woman cut her off sharply, "I've seen it."

Her smile only growing, Cassie looked her up and down, essentially roleplaying a young and bitchy Izzie Stevens, because in her experience, that was the most obnoxious a person could be.

"I was just thinking, do you remember the dress Carrie wears in the prom scene? You know, it's pink, like yours, and-"

"You mean when she got pig's blood dumped all over her?"

(Now, Mark had never actually seen Carrie, but he was sure that the insinuation wasn't exactly a positive one.)

"Yeah!" Cassie sent her a wild grin, no longer trying to hide the burning rage behind her eyes. "Your dress sorta looks like that one, don't you think? Oh, I'm Cassie, by the way! I don't think we've met."

Mark would have chastised her, if he didn't think the whole situation was so damn hilarious.

And while Cassie was, admittedly, starting to feel a little bad for being a bitch to someone who she didn't even know, the guilt didn't last for very long. It was a known fact that Mark was hers, in the same way that she was his; sure, they'd been broken up for nearly nine months, and sure, they'd both slept with someone else while they were broken up, but still. At this point, it should have just been common knowledge.

Or maybe, she was simply falling victim to a well known green-eyed monster; still, her point remained valid.

Purposely leaning into Mark's side, just a tiny bit, it was clear to Cassie when the woman inevitably got the hint, her eyes drawn to where their elbows touched.

"Reed," she introduced herself, rather reluctantly.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Red!"

Mark had to bite his lip to restrain a laugh.

Finally understanding what was going on, Reed let out a silent scoff, eyes bouncing back to an amused Mark, who's eyes were trained on his shoes, as if they would provide a distraction. Cassie continued to smile, having just a little bit too much fun with the whole thing; she finally got why Izzie used to act like this all the time, because it really was super entertaining.

"It's Reed."

Cassie tilted her head in faux confusion, really leaning into the whole bimbo-ness of her facade. "Read what?"

Even from across the room, Cassie could hear Alex and Lexie practically dying from laughter. It made her feel a bit like a bully, but the thought passed almost as quickly as it came. Mark was hers.

(Not that she was possessive, or anything.)

Arms crossing over her chest in subconscious defense, Reed just rolled her eyes, not bothering to say a thing when she turned on her heel and exited the conversation. Cassie kept the smile on her face until she was sure the other woman was gone, before it hastily dropped into a scowl. Mark didn't lose his grin, however; in fact, it seemed to grow even bigger, if that was possible.

When Cassie looked up at him, she already knew what he was thinking.

"Shut up," she snapped, halfhearted in her efforts to hide her anger. "I wasn't- that wasn't what you think it was."

Humming to himself, Mark moved to stand directly in front of her, his knowing gaze penetrating her own. Whatever confidence Cassie had gained in the past two minutes disappeared entirely at the action.

"You sure about that?" Mark mumbled, and suddenly Cassie was finding it hard to breathe. His close proximity was both too much and not enough at the same time, and the suit he wore really wasn't helping matters, either. "Because to me, it kinda seemed like you were a little jealous."

Cassie laughed, partly because she needed a deflection, and mostly because she needed an excuse to turn away from the intensity behind his eyes. "Of Reed? Please, Mark, be serious."

Chuckling to himself, Mark took another sip of his drink, leaving Cassie in quiet anticipation for what he would say next.

"I always know when you're lying, Cass."

Well, fuck.

Now, Cassie could have chosen to lie again, but when she looked back up at him, she knew there was no point; he'd be able to see through her no matter what. And fuck, did she hate that sometimes.

It was also sort of fun, though. The back and forth, the not-so-subtle innuendos, the looks from across the room; maybe she was being delusional, but Cassie swore she was getting deja vu. It all reminded her of the way they used to be, way back before they even fell in love, or, before they knew they were in love, at least.

Only, this time around was different, because in a way, there was even more on the line if one of them fucked it up.

"Whatever," was all she said, biting the inside of her cheek after she spoke. Mark send her a toothy grin, her lack of defense amusing him to no end. "Jealous or not, you could do way better than her, and you know it."

Looking her up and down at a noticeably slow pace, he nodded, just once, before he replied, "Trust me, I know."

Mark inclined his head, just enough to make her squirm. And despite the fact that Cassie wasn't short, by any means, he was tall, which didn't exactly help her to stop the shiver from running down her spine at the action. But rather than backing down, Cassie pushed her chin up in a silent challenge, decreasing the air between them even more.

The world may have stopped spinning, but she didn't even notice, too focused on the man in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Cassie asked him through a whisper, the smallest hint of a smile remaining on her cheeks.

"I have no clue," he answered, his features softening the longer he looked at her. It was true, he had no fucking idea what he was doing; but after looking at her, talking to her, and thinking about being with her, he didn't even care.

Cassie's breath hitched when he moved in closer, only a few inches separating them due to his height. But before she could so much as process what was going on, let alone make a move to reciprocate, Mark faltered, seemingly out of the blue, almost as if he were startled from his own actions.

"Mark-"

"I need some air."

All at once, he pulled away, leaving Cassie openly thwarted. He didn't say anything else when he started to walk past her, and so with clear disappointment, she mumbled a quiet, "Oh."

Had she done something wrong? Well, she supposed that was a loaded question, as the answer varied depending on what time frame she was reffering to. But just now? She couldn't think of anything she'd done that would make him leave so abruptly. In fact, she was half convinced he was about to kiss her; no, scratch that, she was fully convinced.

"Are you coming?"

The three words halted Cassie's inner turmoil nearly as fast as it began after he walked away. Because Mark hadn't left; he remained just a few feet away, a single brow raised as if he were expecting something from her.

With a start, she realized that he wanted her to follow him, her chest tightening out of nervousness; he wanted her to get some air with him, only, from one single glance in Mark's direction, Cassie knew that wasn't the activity he had planned.

Cassie wasn't sure how long she stood there, just staring at him, her chest heaving despite her lungs being clear; and Mark stared back, a sprinkle of doubt coming over him when she didn't immediately follow in his path.

But slowly, as if she were being meticulous about her steps, Cassie pushed her way through the small crowd, stopping only a fraction of an inch away from Mark's chest. He finally let himself breathe, the suggestive tilt of his head towards the exit giving away his true intentions.

Cassie followed his eyeline, blinked once, and looked back up at him in quick succession. It was clear to her that both of their judgement was altered due to the few drinks they'd consumed, but then again, they seemed to be just as intoxicated on each other.

"Yeah," her eyelashes fluttered when she eventually gained the courage to speak, a knowing smirk pulling at the edges of her lips. "Yeah, I'll come."

On a whim, and clearly not thinking about the potential consequences, Mark took her hand into his own, abandoning his best friend's party without even a hint of remorse when he pulled Cassie through the front door without a word.

☆

It was safe to say that when Cassie got to work the next day, she was really fucking exhausted.

Mark's favorite Fleetwood Mac t-shirt hung loosely around her torso, the feel of it reminding her how he felt around her only hours prior.

Opening her locker, Cassie hastily removed the shirt from her body, tossing it away as if it was burning her skin. After throwing on her scrub top, the small mirror on the inside of the door caught her eye, exposing her to the leftover mascara which remained smudged beneath her eyes from the night before; she hurriedly wiped away at it, hoping to remove any trace of her previous actions from her skin.

"So, is this a walk of shame, or did you get run down in the parking lot?"

Cassie paused in her movements, turning to face Alex with a tired scowl; the pure amusement in his tone made her feel a bit murderous. "Oh, shut up."

Watching her pull on her scrubs over what was clearly Mark-approved lingerie, Alex snorted a laugh, which Cassie heard, but ultimately chose to ignore for her own piece of mind. "Well, at least you got what you wanted, right?"

Despite her bad mood, and the fact that she'd only gotten about an hour of sleep, Cassie couldn't help but grow a content grin while she reminisced. Sleeping with Mark was a good decision, at least, that what she hoped; they hadn't actually had a chance to talk about any of it, since Mark was long gone by the time Cassie woke up in his bed.

"You could say that."

As she was finishing up tying her shoes, Alex moved to rest against the lockers in front of her, taking a bite of his apple when he asked, "Hey, are we on any good cases?"

Cassie just shrugged, getting to her feet. "No clue, but aren't you with Robbins today?"

"Yeah, I thought you were, too," he said through a mouthful, tossing the fruit in the trash as they exited the locker room. "You're not on peds?"

"No, I am, but I'm with Caldwell."

The name felt a bit odd coming out of her mouth, as she hadn't referred to him by anything other than Ethan since she'd met him back when she was in college. Then again, he'd been working at the hospital for a while, and she had yet to have more than a few conversations with him; though, she supposed that was her own fault, after breaking his heart at the ripe age of twenty, and all.

"I still can't believe you screwed him," Alex chuckled, finding the whole thing much funnier than Cassie did.

"Yeah, a couple of times, like, forever ago."

He shook his head. "Tell that to him. I'm pretty sure the guy's obsessed with you."

Cassie couldn't help but roll her eyes, not having enough emotional stability for the topic of conversation. "I'm leaving now."

Alex just laughed at her apparent misery, continuing straight towards the ER while Cassie took a detour to the nearest nurses station,

Her irritability only grew when she realized that Sophie was the only nurse sitting behind the desk, therefore, she would have to actually speak to the homewrecker who hurt one of her best friends. Sure, she also slept with Mark, but Cassie wasn't too worried about that anymore, for obvious reasons.

"Dr. Harper!" Sophie smiled, far too cheery for seven o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. "How can I help you?"

"I need Joshua Benton's chart." Cassie kept a blank face as she spoke, only, she silently cursed herself for adding on a polite, "Please."

With a simple nod, Sophie spun around in her chair, only searching for a brief moment before pulling it out of the files and handing it to Cassie without a word. Cassie sent her a tight-lipped grin, too exaggerated to pass as anything but sarcastic, tucking it under her arm and moving to walk away.

"Hey, uh- can I just say something?"

Pausing, Cassie remained with her feet pointed in the opposite direction, double checking that she was actually talking to her before responding. "Yeah?"

Sophie's plain smile dropped into a guilty one, her eyes scanning the area before she spoke, as if to avoid being overheard. "Listen, I-I know you've probably heard a lot of things about me, and you obviously don't like me very much-" Cassie made a face that screamed you're not wrong, "-but I was just, um, I was wondering if Lexie mentioned getting any of my calls?"

Cassie found it hard to sympathize with her. "Nope."

"Because I've been trying to apologize for, you know, sleeping with her girlfriend, but she hasn't been picking up, which is making it kinda hard."

"Damn, that sucks for you."

Sophie cut herself off from whatever she was about to say next, freezing for just a moment, before she realized that Cassie was, in fact, being very sarcastic. Watching her thought process unfold in real time, Cassie raised an amused brow, casually resting an elbow against the desk.

"Look, I'm not asking for your pity, or anything," she clarified, and Cassie could hear the honesty in her voice, "I know I majorly fucked up, but I'm trying to be better, and I just- I'd really like to apologize."

"Okay, so then apologize," Cassie shrugged, grinning at the absurdity of it all. "To Lexie, and to Rue, but not to me."

"But she's not answering-"

Cassie gave her an obvious stare. "So do it in person. Or don't. Either way, leave me out of it. It wasn't my girlfriend you slept with."

This time, when she walked away, Sophie didn't try to stop her. Cassie did feel a little bad about the harshness of her reply, since she really did get the feeling that Sophie wanted to get better; only, there was a difference between wanting to get better, and actually trying to.

(Cassie learned that the hard way.)

Speaking of, it was only fate that she'd run into the man who gave her the same slap in the face that she'd just given Sophie.

"Hey, wait up!"

Cassie jogged to catch up to Mark, a slight pep in her step as she did so. Sure, it was embarrassing how giddy he made her, but after the night before, she didn't even care. Flashes of him, of them, clouded her vision when he turned around, making a subconscious blush appear on the apples of her cheeks.

"Oh, uh, Cass," Mark stuttered out as he halted his steps, almost as if he were shocked to be speaking to her. "Hey."

His hesitant tone threw her off a bit, but she promptly ignored it, moving to stand in front of him, just barely too close for being at work.

"So," she started, unable to stop herself from flashing him a grin as she spoke. Her hands clasped together in front of her, rocking back and forth on her feet like a nervous kid asking their crush to dance. "I, um, I missed you this morning."

"Yeah-" Mark said, seeming like he had more to say, but choosing to end his sentence there, for some reason.

It was then, that Cassie began to get a bit anxious.

"Is there... is there a reason you weren't there?"

Mark cleared his throat, his eyes focusing on everything but her. "Yeah, no, I, uh, I had an early surgery, so..."

Cassie looked him up and down, the shuffling of his feet and his clear avoidance of eye contact starting to worry her. That, and the fact that when she checked the board that morning, he didn't have a single surgery scheduled, all day.

"Right."

Mark knew that she could see right through him.

It wasn't that he was upset about sleeping with her - after all, he was the one who initiated it - in fact, it was quite the opposite. Mark was so fucking happy, that when he'd woken up before her that morning, he'd formulated some sort of a speech in his head to give to her once she was awake. A speech about how he'd been waiting for her for so long, and that he loved her - god, he loved her - and that he was ready to be with her again, to start fresh and to love her the way he'd been longing to for fucking months.

He had it all mapped out, until he remembered that his shameless commitment to her was exactly what scared her off the last time.

And so, he decided to run, instead. Before she could.

"Well, I should go-"

"We should probably talk about-"

Mark and Cassie spoke at the same time, both of them stopping after they realized. He still had yet to look at her, leaving Cassie even more desperate to know what he was thinking.

(Crap, she wasn't bad in bed, was she? Sure, it had been a good nine months since she'd had sex with someone who had a penis, but she didn't think she was that far off her game, right?)

"Talk about what?" Mark interrupted her spiraling train of thought, the faux obliviousness in his voice making her pause.

"I-" Cassie stuttered, not sure why he even had to ask. "Uh, I mean, about us, you know? More specifically, us sleeping together, what it means, and why you ditched me before the sun rose?"

Silently, he cursed her for always being so blunt, even if that was usually one of the things he loved most about her.

Well, I ditched you because I love you, and I didn't want to pressure you into taking me back just because we were drunk and horny, was what Mark wanted to say.

"We used to sleep together all the time," was what he actually said, his tone laced with innocent obliviousness. "Friends with benefits, right?"

Cassie blinked, once, twice, three times, her eyes squinting as if to decipher what the fuck he was talking about. This was different, and Mark knew that, so why was he acting like it was no big deal? Unless, it wasn't a big deal to him, in which case it was likely she would soon break down into sobs, right there and then.

"I mean, yeah, but don't you think this is-"

"It was fun!" Mark sent her an uncomfortable smile, lightly hitting her on the arm as if she were one of his guy friends from college. "We should do it again sometime. Oh, hey, I got a page, so, I gotta go."

(Did he really just bro punch her fucking arm?)

Her eyes narrowing and her jaw dropping open against her will, Cassie just stood there, staring at his back as he practically ran in the opposite direction. Her own pager went off - for real, unlike Mark's - summoning her to her patients room and snapping her out of her wildly confused stupor at the same time. Still, she was completely and utterly lost.

"What the fuck was that?"

☆

As much as she'd begged and pleaded, the universe neglected to give Cassie a fucking break. Really, it was only a matter of time before she was forced to confront the fact that she had a paternal half-sibling who was impatiently waiting to speak to her, and much to her dismay, today was that day.

It wasn't that she was purposely avoiding Jackson; well, she was, but not necessarily on purpose. It was more on a subconscious level, that she really just had no interest in trying to get to know someone who most likely hated her for what she did to his family. If anything, knowing Cassie would probably only hurt Jackson more.

Though, unlike usual, the half-brother in question also didn't seem very keen on speaking, as he hadn't said a single word to her for weeks; even now, standing beside Cassie through the universe's manipulation, he didn't take the chance to say anything non-work related.

Cassie stood between him and Ethan, keeping her head facing forwards, as if that could possibly help her escape her current predicament; at this point, she was willing to try anything. Evidently, being on Ethan's service was big with descendants of the Avery bloodline.

"Joshua Benton, age six," Cassie presented their patient's case, slightly offput by the noticeable lack of parents in the room. "He'll be undergoing a lumbar laminectomy this afternoon, due to a tumor at the base of the spine."

Ethan nodded, although, he didn't look at her, either; for a moment, Cassie wondered if people had been mistaking her for Medusa. "Very good. Dr. Avery, can you explain the steps of what we'll be doing in the OR?"

Jackson, who had yet to say a single word to either of them, simply nodded. "First we'll make a..."

No one in the room could help but feel like they were speaking to a ghost, as Joshua's parents had neglected to be present for the briefing. Jackson specifically seemed to be having a rough time, not able to finish his sentence while Joshua looked up at him with innocent doe eyes.

"Dr. Avery."

"Yeah, sorry, I just..." he sent Ethan a pointed look, using his head to gesture towards the kid. Cassie rolled her eyes at his dramatics, ignoring his hushed whispers in favor of moving closer to Joshua's bedside. "Shouldn't a guardian be here for this? I mean, the kid's six."

Cassie knelt down to the ground, resting her body weight on her left knee and gaining Joshua's attention. "Hey bud," she said through a whisper, though it was purposefully loud enough for both of the men to hear. "You here all alone?"

He nodded, making the toy truck in his hands crash into Cassie's arm; she just smiled, redirecting it the opposite way as he told her, "Momma has work."

Ethan took a step forwards as well, making Jackson the only one who wasn't even trying to engage with the kid. "She'll be back tomorrow night, though, right Josh?" While Joshua nodded distractedly, far too busy with his toys to care, Ethan continued his sentence in a quieter tone. "His mother is on a business trip, so while she's gone, I promised her we'd take extra good care of him, understood?"

In unison, the residents nodded. "Understood."

Joshua once again made his truck hit Cassie, this time mimicking the sound of an explosion as he did so. It didn't hurt, so Cassie just laughed, picking up one of the spare cars in his lap and joining him in racing them across the bed.

"Dr. Avery, continue."

"Oh, right," Jackson adjusted his posture. "Uh, well, first we'll make a three-inch incision, remove the spinous process, the lamina, and then clean up any residual bone spurs before closing."

Ethan nodded, rather slowly, his attention drawn to Cassie and Joshua, who were now occupied with stacking the toy cars as high as they'd go.

"Dr. Harper." Cassie didn't seem to hear him. "Dr. Harper."

"Huh? What?"

Jackson couldn't help but let out an audible snort, silently shocked at how amusing he found it to see her get in trouble.

Letting out what was obviously a disappointed sigh, Ethan shook his head at her; though, he couldn't be too mad, because he also find it quite humorous. "I was about to ask if you think Dr. Avery missed anything."

While Jackson's grin dropped down into a frown, Cassie didn't even blink before she responded, "He forgot to ligate the tissue around the lamina before it's removed to avoid a vessel burst." Immediately turning back to Joshua, she asked him with a bit too much excitement, "Can I drive the green one?"

Joshua nodded, politely handing her the green truck from the opposite end of the bed without a word.

Meanwhile, Jackson just blinked, his gaze snapping between an unbothered Cassie and the notes on the case he'd taken the night prior. He realized a minute too late that she was right, and he'd definitely skipped over one of the most important steps; his frown only deepened when he realized that she made him look bad, sending her a glare which she didn't pick up on.

"Alright," Ethan mumbled with a barely-there smirk, having watched the entire scene unfold. "Moving on, then."

☆

"She's got hyperacusis, vertigo, tinnitus, nystagmus... this blows."

Alex and Meredith sat together at a table in the cafeteria, the former going over the details of his patient's case. Neither of them noticed Cassie approaching until she was pulling out a chair, setting down her tray in the empty spot with a thud.

Only hearing the last part of his sentence, Cassie scrunched her brows together in bewilderment. "What blows?"

"You, from what I've heard," Meredith playfully wiggled her eyebrows as a greeting, not giving Alex a chance to answer the question. "How is Mark, by the way?"

Pausing, Cassie looked from Meredith, to Alex, to Meredith, and back to Alex. The man in question hadn't so much as acknowledged her arrival, his head stuck in the chart while he mumbled unintelligible medical terms under his breath. Scoffing, Cassie abruptly slapped him in the arm, hard enough to make him yelp at the sting.

"Uh, ouch," he glared in her direction, though, Cassie didn't seem to care much that it hurt.

"You told her?"

"Yeah, so what?" Alex shrugged, rubbing the place she'd hit him. Cassie really did have a shocking amount of arm strength. "You're Cass, he's Sloan. It's not like anyone was surprised."

Meredith giggled at the anger written all over Cassie's face, taking a bite of her salad when she asked, "Anyone? Alex, how many people did you tell?"

He opened his mouth to answer, only to stop when he saw Cassie's wide eyes, the left one twitching as if she were seconds away from going all Cassie vs. Izzie, The Fist Fight Of The Century on him. Seeming to think through his next words before he spoke, he didn't answer right away, leaving Cassie frozen in place while she waited for him to formulate a response.

"Don't worry about it," was all he said, which unofficially told Cassie everything she needed to know.

She didn't so much as blink. "I hate you, you know."

Alex rolled his eyes at her dramatics, returning his focus back to his patient's chart when he said, "Please, you freakin' love me."

All Cassie chose to do was slap him in the arm once again, only this time, soft enough not to hurt him too badly.

Turning back to face Meredith, taking a rather large bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the process, Cassie reached across the table, tapping the blonde's lunch tray to get her attention. In the few seconds that she was still chewing, her mind went back to her previous patient's husband, who she'd learned had filed a lawsuit against the hospital; more specifically, a lawsuit against Derek.

Gary Clark had made it well known that he wouldn't let his wife die without a fight. And so when Derek's disgnosis required them to pull the plug on her life, despite Gary's endless pleas for her to stop, he already had his work cut out for him.

Cassie couldn't help but feel sympathy for the man, though, she found it hard to excuse his hurtful screaming towards her and Lexie, and the fact that he was calling Derek a murderer simply for doing his job in a legal manner. Still, at the end of the day, he was just a guy who lost someone he loved; that, Cassie could empathize with.

"Mer," she started, her voice relatively hushed as the lawsuit wasn't exactly supposed to be gossiped about. "Has Derek said anything about what happened with Mr. Clark at the deposition?"

"Yeah," Meredith responded as if it were common knowledge, "His lawyers pulled out because he didn't have a case. I thought Derek would've told you."

He probably would have, if I didn't tell him to go fuck himself, she thought with a hint of a smile, silently proud of herself for standing up to him, as that was an embarrassingly rare occurrence for her.

"So, what, it's all over?" Cassie dodged the implication, knowing what Meredith was trying to get out of her. "Just like that?"

The blonde nodded distractedly. "Yeah, so is something going on with you and Derek? Because whenever I bring it up, he gets all weird and just says everything's fine, even though I know he's not telling the truth."

(Derek, a liar? Cassie was just flabbergasted.)

"Nope," she lied as well, which was easy, because she had a wonderful teacher. "Nothing's going on."

Meredith narrowed her eyes. "I don't believe you."

Cassie took another bite of her sandwich, humming to herself with a sarcastic grin. Using her free hand to point at Meredith, almost condescendingly, she sent her an overdramatic wink when she replied, "You, my friend, have very good instincts."

Realizing that she wouldn't get any information out of her, Meredith let go of the subject for the time being; not without a pointed eye roll, however. Though, she perked up when she noticed Cristina making her way towards the group, moving Alex's pile of books to make room in the empty seat.

But Cristina didn't sit down, only giving her a blank stare when she walked past the table and sat at an empty one only a few feet away.

"Cristina, seriously?"

At this point, both Cassie and Alex were well aware that there was some sort of arguement going on between them. Cassie, despite the fact that she also was keeping a secret from them, felt a bit left out (not that she showed it, by any means).

Alex laughed when Cristina ignored her, not bothering to lower his voice at all when he asked, "What's up with that?"

Meredith sighed. "She's mad at me because I planted seeds of doubt about her moving in with Owen."

Cassie glanced between Meredith and Cristina, the latter obviously listening in on their conversation. She hadn't even known that Cristina and Owen were really getting serious, let alone moving in together serious. Sure, she hadn't exactly been seeking them out to talk about relationship problems recently, but the fact that they hadn't even thought about telling her rubbed her the wrong way.

"What kind of doubt?" Cassie questioned, hoping to gain back whatever trust she had inevitably lost from them.

"Well-"

"Hey," Cristina snapped her fingers at Meredith from the table over, making them all turn back to face her once again. "Don't talk to them about me."

"Why don't you come over here, so I can talk to you about you?" Meredith reasoned, though she seemed to be on her last nerve.

"I'll talk to you when you actually talk," Cristina fired back. Alex and Cassie shared a glance, neither of them fully grasping what was going on, other than that Meredith was clearly keeping something regarding Owen from her. "I mean, are you ready to talk?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, turning away from Cristina and not saying another word on the subject. Cassie sent Cristina a shrug, as if to say sorry, but was promptly ignored.

Alex let out a grunt of frustration, and it was then that Cassie realized he had yet to stop going over his patient's case; offhandedly, she was reminded that Joshua would need to start being prepped for surgery soon.

"Cass, I need your brain."

Seeing as she hadn't actually been able to use her brain all that often in the past few months, Cassie was happy to oblige. "Hit me."

Alex passed her the chart so she could read through it while he spoke. "A sixteen-year-old with hyperacusis, vertigo, tinnitus, nystagmus-"

From her seat at her lonesome table, Cristina interrupted him with a blunt, "Cholesteatoma. Or temporal lobe tumor."

Meredith turned around in her chair. "For god's sakes, will you just come over here?"

"No."

Alex ignored their bickering, facing Cassie and continuing his list of symptoms. "Scans were clean. Uh, it's worse with sounds, we have to whisper. You got a diagnosis?"

Racking her brain, Cassie's eyes narrowed into slits while her teeth tugged at her bottom lip; Derek used to call it her thinking face. Eventually, a blurry image came to mind - which was unusual, as her memory was typically sharper - and then it came to her.

"Write this down," she started, tossing the random pen sitting next to her at Alex's chest. "Okay, hospital library, page one hundred and sixty two, a neurological health journal from two-thousand-four, it has a green cover... it's a syndrome called... dehiscence something... Lexie!"

The new blonde, who appeared at just the right moment, sat down with a tray full of food, a brow raised at Cassie's enthusiasm. "What did I do?"

"What's the name of that two-thousand-four medical journal with a green cover we were looking at the other day?"

Lexie thought for a half a second, before answering, "Uh, not sure, but it was written by, uh, Dahlias, I think."

Cassie watched as Alex scribbled down the name, stacking up the several books he'd brought with him and getting to his feet at a rapid pace. "Freakin' McAngel."

Cassie grinned up at him for half a second before he hurried away, presumably to go diagnose his patient. She was unashamedly jealous that he got the cool peds case while she was stuck with her slightly off-putting half brother and her oddly silent yet incredibly intense ex-hookup, but she tried not to let it get to her.

"So," Lexie took a sip of her coffee, focusing on Meredith when she gossiped, "Cassie slept with Mark?"

Still refusing to move the five feet and join them, Cristina asked for the whole cafeteria to hear, "Wait, are you and Sloan back together?"

Cassie sighed, shoving the rest of her sandwich into her mouth all at once, hoping she would choke and die just to avoid the impending conversation.

☆

Despite all the reasons why she shouldn't have been, Cassie was actually thankful for being on Ethan's service this day.

Joshua, despite his unique yet everlasting fascination for motor vehicles and being a six-year-old boy, reminded Cassie a lot of herself. He had a mother who loved him dearly but couldn't be around much, seemingly never ending bad luck, and what she'd just discovered in the midst of another car racing game, a crappy dad who left him when times got tough.

Cassie connected the portable IV to his arm, preparing for transport down to the OR. Typically, that sort of thing was a nurses job, but she was more than happy to help, especially if it made Joshua more comfortable.

"I miss my momma," the six-year-old mumbled, clutching onto his blanket and holding it closely to his chest. "When's she gettin' here?"

Sighing softly, Cassie handed him another blanket, since the hospital ones tended to be painfully thin. "I don't know, but I do know that your mom loves you very much, and I'm sure she's so proud of you for being so strong all on your own."

It hurt her to say those words, thinking about her own mom, but in a way, it was nice to hear them out loud. Even if she herself was the one who said them.

It wasn't until she heard sniffling that she realized Joshua was crying, her heart breaking into a million pieces at the sound.

"I-I don't wanna be on my own," he hiccuped, cradling the extra blanket close to his chest as well. "I-I want my momma."

Fuck, that hurt.

That was the thing about pediatric surgery, the main reason Cassie had generally tried to avoid being on these sorts of cases before. Sure, anyone would be put off by kids who were sick, more specifically, kids who were sick and dying, but for the most part, it wasn't that bad at all. It was all sunshine and rainbows when everything went smoothly, but the times when it didn't? It fucking hurt, and it hurt badly.

Cassie crouched down, just low enough so they could make eye contact. Typically, she was really good at comforting people, but those people were usually over the age of six and had previously developed critical thinking skills, so she wasn't quite sure how well this would go over.

"I know you're scared," she spoke softly, as if her voice could soothe him. "Surgery can be really scary sometimes. But Dr. Caldwell promised me he'd take really good care of you, and your mom will be here tomorrow afternoon, okay? You just gotta wait a little longer."

But Joshua didn't seem soothed in the slightest; if anything, the mention of his mom only made him cry more. "I-I want her now."

Cassie couldn't exactly blame him. He was about to have a life-threatening surgery on his spine, which could very well leave him paralyzed if something went wrong, and the one person he was supposed to have in his corner wasn't there. Of course, she understood the toll of a hardworking mother more than anyone, but it wasn't exactly fun to see from an outside perspective.

"What does your mom usually do when you're sad?" Cassie asked him quietly, trying to smile despite the urge to break down into sobs.

Joshua didn't answer right away, but Cassie was more than happy to patiently wait for a response.

"She... she holds my hand... sometimes."

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry-

"I can try that, if you want," she offered, her soft grin and rosy cheeks unintentionally helping to calm him down, just a little bit. "I'm not your mom, but I do have a hand that likes to be held, so."

Joshua nodded, quite vehemently, taking the liberty to reach out and clutch onto her fingers, almost as if he'd been restraining from doing so the whole time. Cassie squeezed back, using her free hand to take the corner of his blanket and wipe away the few tears he had on his face.

She only realized her predicament of not having enough hands to actually bring him to the OR after she'd already committed to the hand-holding, and so she made a move to page a nurse to help out. But before she could, a throat was cleared from the doorway, stealing both her and Joshua's attention.

Ethan rested his full body weight against the doorframe, scrub cap fastened onto his head and shoe covers placed on his feet; with a start, Cassie glanced at the clock, seeing that Joshua was, in fact, five minutes late to his own surgery.

"I was starting to get worried," Ethan quipped, not seeming upset in the slightest. If anything, he seemed proud, for some reason. "So, how is the man of the hour?"

Joshua giggled, and it occurred to Cassie that between letting Ethan call him Josh and laughing at things he said which weren't even funny, the older man was clearly the favorite doctor in the room. "I'm good!"

Cassie raised a brow at no one in particular. He was good, because of her. And that, despite how hard she tried to pretend it didn't, felt pretty damn awesome.

"I'm glad," Ethan smiled, coming around the bed as Cassie got to her feet, though, she obviously refused to let go of the tiny hand in her own. "So, Josh, you ready to get that nasty little bugger off your spine?"

Squeezing Cassie's hand, Joshua nodded excitedly, looking up at her as Ethan began to push the bed out into the hallway and towards the OR.

Returning the gesture, Cassie grinned down at him, more than happy to take on the mother-esque role for the next few hours. "You got this, little man."

☆

"Dr. Avery, how's your visualization?"

Joshua's surgery had already been in progress for longer than expected, and they still had yet to remove the tumor on his spine; truthfully, they had yet to so much as see it. The over abundance of unexpected bone spurs and adhesions made it nearly impossible to see clearly into the surgical field, and while it was clear Ethan didn't want to admit it, it seemed as though it may have been a lost cause.

Jackson pulled the retractor back as far as it would go, and yet, nothing changed. "I-I can't see anything. Like, anything."

"Me neither," Ethan let out a barely audible sigh, his visibly rising frustration clear to everyone in the room. "Dr. Harper?"

"Not yet, but I just need to... here, give me that."

Silently shooing Jackson's hand away from the retractor, Cassie took it into her own grasp, twisting it around and opening it just the smallest bit wider; it was then that, unlike the two men who stood on the opposite side of the table, she gained a direct path to Joshua's tumor.

But when Cassie froze, Ethan grew concerned.

"Dr. Harper-?"

"Fuck."

Cassie's curse was loud, turning heads all across the OR. Just by taking one look into her panicked eyes, Ethan knew that whatever she saw inside Joshua's body was far from good. Without even thinking, he handed his surgical instruments to the scrub nurse, making his way around the table with hurried steps.

"Fuck is correct," he mumbled once he got a good look, just barely loud enough for Cassie to hear him.

While they finally found the tumor, they also found something else; a separate tumor, just to the right of the original. And to the right of that, another tumor, and then another one; the end total Cassie counted was seven, all of them varying in size despite being identical to the first.

"What do we..." Cassie said to him in a hushed tone, before logic slowly caught back up to her. "I mean, we can just... remove them, right?"

Ethan's mind seemed to be reeling, eyes darting around the open abdomen of the six-year-old on his table. "No, uh," he stuttered, not seeming entirely sure in his decision, "No, we can't. Not without signed parental consent, at least."

Cassie frowned beneath her mask.

"But we can," Jackson interrupted, and she realized for the first time that he actually did have critical thinking skills, even if he didn't use them often. "It's not unsafe?"

"The unsafe thing would be leaving them in." Ethan stood next to Cassie, thinking in silence for several seconds while she and Jackson exchanged worried looks. Eventually, he took a step back from the table, taking off his mask when he told them, "I need you two to stay here, don't touch a thing, and keep him stable. I... I need to talk to the Chief."

(Cassie instinctively rolled her eyes at the mention of Derek, even in the stressful situation.)

Not bothering to say anything else, Ethan practically stormed out of the OR, sending one last stern glance to the residents before he left.

The room went silent, and it stayed that way for over an hour.

Cassie could count on one hand the number of times she and Jackson actually made eye contact within that time span. But at the same time, she'd lost count of the number of times she'd caught him abruptly looking away when she glanced in his direction.

Neither of them knew how to act, or what to say, because honestly, how could they?

The whole secret sibling thing was uncharted territory, and with the way Cassie had been acting, she really couldn't blame him for keeping his distance. Though, when she thought back on all the times they'd spoken before she knew, and the way Jackson tried on multiple occasions to get her to open up, Cassie couldn't help but wonder if he was really as disinterested as he made himself seem.

"He should be back by now," Cassie broke the silence, just as an excuse to ease her overthinking nerves. Turning to the anesthesiologist, she asked, "Any word?"

The man shook his head while replacing Joshua's IV. "Nothing yet."

"This is ridiculous," she scoffed under her breath, her mask preventing the sound from getting out to anyone other than Jackson, who remained stoic on the opposite side of the table with his hands level above the surgical field. "We could have taken the tumors out by now, but now he's borderline at risk for sepsis, and no one even fucking cares."

Jackson scrunched his eyebrows together, the action making him eerily resemble his sister across from him.

"I care."

Cassie, overcome with nervousness and irritation, found it hard to filter her words. "Oh, now you're talking?"

Realizing that her sass reached a volume that pretty much everyone in the room could hear, she bit her tongue, praying to whatever higher power existed that Ethan would be back sooner than later. However, Jackson didn't seem as keen on letting her passive aggressiveness go so easily.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Nothing."

Matching her quiet yet obviously sarcastic tone, Jackson refused to let it go. "No, no, go on, Cassie, please."

(Jesus, stubbornness must run on her father's side.)

Idly glancing around the room and making sure no eyes or ears were on them, Cassie shrugged her shoulders, her jaw clenching out of some sort of misplaced anger. She was fully aware that she had zero right to be upset with him, but then again, rationality hadn't exactly been her forte in the recent past.

Leaning forward and speaking in a hushed whisper, she spit out, "You've been completely avoiding me since I found out."

"Oh, and you haven't been avoiding me?"

Cassie narrowed her eyes. "That's not the point."

Jackson rolled his eyes, rather overdramatically; in a way, arguing with Cassie felt like arguing with a female version of himself, and god, did he hate it. "You know what? Yeah, I have been avoiding you." Cassie smirked, making a gesture with her head as if to say thank you. "Because it took me so long to finally work up the courage to tell you the truth, and once I did, you acted like I didn't even fucking exist."

Oh.

"Oh," she faltered, not expecting to be so affected by an outburst that was shouted at her through a string of whispers.

(Yeah, okay, so maybe she'd sort of been a bitch to him for no reason, but she never claimed to be proud of it.)

Jackson, however much hostility he felt towards her, also couldn't help but feel a little bad about the whole thing; after all, he had his whole life to process having an estranged, biological half-sibling, whereas it was sprung onto Cassie without any warning. Truthfully, however annoying it may have been, he would've reacted the exact same way.

"Look, I just-" he paused, once again checking that their surroundings were clear. "I spent my whole life building up all these expectations for what meeting my cool, genius little sister would be like, and it didn't... it didn't go down how I wanted it to. I wanted to be the one to tell you, not our grandfather high on freakin' hospital drugs. And now you obviously hate me, so, I guess I just figured you'd rather be left alone."

Cassie blinked at him.

"You called me your sister."

"What?"

"You called me your little sister, just now."

(Cassie knew it was true, as she'd called him her half-brother in front of Lexie and Alex, but there was something different about hearing him say it. It made it more real.)

"Was I.... was I not supposed to?"

(His reply was immediate, despite the fact that he was practically shaking at the possibility of her telling him no. Call it a childish dream, but he really did want to be her sibling, if she'd let him.)

But Cassie didn't give him a straight answer, much to his dismay. Partly as a stubborn ploy to keep him on his toes, but mainly because she didn't know the answer.

"You think I'm cool?"

Of course, that was what she decided to focus on.

Jackson was just about fully convinced that nearly everyone who'd met her, at least, everyone he could think of, considered Cassie cool. But he specifically knew just how cool she was, as his mother had never been shy about keeping tabs on the public achievements of her ex-husbands child; notably, everything from her childhood spelling bee championships to the news story about her saving a little girl's life in a ferry boat crash.

Granted, he'd only just recently learned that she had also died in said crash, but if anything, that only made her even more enigmatic.

"I think you're the coolest," Jackson told her, honest yet hesitant. "That's why, uh, that's why I wanted to know you, you know?"

Cassie couldn't help but be flattered.

She didn't say it out loud, but ever since she found out they were related, she'd wanted to get to know him, as well. Sure, she had Derek, and even George (back when he was, well, alive), but at the end of the day, Cassie was an only child at heart. She didn't know what it was like to grow up with someone close to her age, or to share toys, or to get into arguements where both parties had an equal level of maturity.

Just as she was about to respond with an I want to know you too, Joshua's heart monitor began to go off at an alarming, inconsistent pace.

In unison, Jackson and Cassie snapped their head's towards the monitor, their eyes going wide when they realized that Joshua's stats were plummeting.

"BP is ninety over sixty," the anesthesiologist emphasized, pushing the small amount of pain meds he found suitable for a child so small. Cassie cursed aloud at the information, silently gesturing for Jackson to pull the retractor so she could get a better look.

"Crap," Jackson mumbled, doing as told, though his hands were already beginning to shake. "Page Caldwell, now!"

"We did, no answer."

"Guys, he's crashing-"

"Well we have to do something-"

Cassie let out something between a quiet grunt and a scoff, staring directly down at the tumors which were responsible for the whole mess. Joshua's BP only got lower the longer they did nothing, despite the solution being right there.

With a scalpel in her hand, Cassie focused her gaze onto Joshua's spine, studying the affected area. God, she wished Ethan would hurry so they could remove them, but after taking a closer look, she didn't even think they needed Ethan at all. The surgery, however many technical skills it required, really didn't seem that hard to perform; even she could do it, if she had permission.

Cassie paused.

(Was permission really mandatory?)

As if sensing her change in posture, Jackson perked up, his eyes searching her own. Cassie just looked back at him, a million thoughts circling in her head; Joshua's condition, textbook tumor removal, whether or not the thing she was debating would classify as a HIPPA violation, or if it would send her to prison for assault. Like he could read her mind, his gaze narrowed, sending her a look that screamed just tell me what you're thinking.

And Cassie obliged, not bothering to mince her words when she said-

"We need to take them out."

Immediately, Jackson froze in place, eyes darting around the room to make sure nobody else heard her. "Are you insane?"

Cassie didn't find it necessary to answer that.

Ignoring the concerned looks from the other people in the OR, she disregarded asking the scrub nurse for a pair of forceps, and took the liberty of just grabbing them from the tray. She'd be damned if she was going to let a six-year-old kid die due to a technicality, and based on the way that not one person tried to stop her, it seemed to be a unanimous thought.

"Woah, woah, woah-" Jackson shouted when Cassie got to work without a single ounce of hesitation, single-handedly removing the largest tumor first. "You can't just-"

"Do you want to be responsible for him dying?"

Cassie was far too calm for Jackson's liking.

"What? No, of course not, but-"

"Because you will be, if you don't trust your gut," she continued, only sparing a single glance up at him before she continued to remove the tumors. In the meantime, Joshua's BP was already going back up. "When you doubt yourself, when you let other people tell you it's right even when you know it's wrong, that's when people die, Jackson. Trust me."

Cassie's mind was suddenly clouded with flashes of Lily's dead body on the table beneath her, the dead body that she continued to feel at fault for, but she didn't let it stop her. Instead, she used it.

"You're right," Jackson told her, not wasting another second before jumping in to help retract and give her better visualization. "And I do. Trust you."

For half a second, Cassie let herself smile.

☆

"You did the right thing."

Cassie breathed out a laugh through her nostrils, not looking away from her hands while she scrubbed them thoroughly with the hospital's soap. Ethan rested against the edge of the sink, arms casually crossed over his chest and wearing an indiscernible expression.

"Thanks, I know."

Ethan chuckled at that, raising a brow as if to say fair enough. Cassie went to reach for a towel, only, he already had one prepared in front of her, not really giving her a choice but to talk to him.

"Listen, I know it wasn't an easy decision, but-"

"It was," Cassie cut him off mid-sentence, rightfully pissed at him for not answering his page. She and Jackson were in surgery for three hours after Joshua started crashing, and yet, Ethan only managed to turn up after they'd finished. "It was an easy decision."

Ethan bit his tongue. "Cassandra-"

"Where were you?"

He knew the question was coming, but it didn't make her sharp tone any less startling. "I'm sorry for not being here, really, but we needed a physically signed form of consent, and the only way to do that was to get a signature from Joshua's mother."

Rolling her eyes, Cassie crossed her arms over her chest to match his own stance. "And that took you four hours?"

"To fly to Portland and back?" He cocked a brow, watching with amusement the way Cassie ran her tongue along the inside of her cheek. "Yeah."

(Truthfully, Cassie forgot how sassy he could be.)

There weren't many times in the past when they'd truly talked, as they'd typically been otherwise preoccupied sleeping together in his office. But whenever they did talk back then, Cassie always enjoyed herself; he really was a good guy, even if he was a bit intense, at times. She just wished everything wasn't so awkward now.

"Wait, but if you knew you were flying to Portland, why did you leave me and Jackson all alone in there?"

Ethan didn't see any reason to lie. "Because I knew you two could handle whatever came up. You, in particular, have always proven to be an exceptional student."

Cassie didn't fail to catch onto his underlying message, mainly because he layed it out so eloquently with the casual suggestiveness in his tone. She shook her head, restraining a grin, only, this felt different than the other times he'd flirted with her; this felt... friendly.

"Well then, uh. Thanks, I guess?"

He smiled. "Don't mention it."

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it-

"Ethan, I don't think I ever-" Cassie paused, rethinking her next words, but ending up saying them anyways, aside from her brain screaming at her not to. "I never apologized, for, you know, hurting you back then."

"Oh, that's not necessary-"

"It is, and, I'm sorry."

Ethan just looked at her for a few seconds.

"I appreciate that," he told her honestly. "But I shouldn't have... you were very clear about your intentions, and even after all that time, I still let myself..."

(Love you, was what they both knew he was thinking.)

Cassie supposed she had a knack for breaking men's hearts; the only difference between Ethan and Mark, was that she never loved Ethan back. In her memory, they were both equally good in bed, though.

"Is that why you came here?" she wondered, attempting not to sound too narcissistic. "To try and be with me?"

Ethan couldn't help but smile as he sighed, turning around and resting his hands on the edge of the sink. He stared into the OR where Cassie had just saved Joshua's life, much preferring being scolded by her as opposed to this.

"Guess I lied about being over you, huh?"

Cassie shrugged. "That seems to be a common theme."

(She didn't want to brag, but it honestly was.)

Ethan turned to face her. "I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable in any way by being here." Cassie waved him off, not mentioning how it was more the awkward staring from afar that was the main culprit. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Have you ever considered specializing in pediatric surgery?"

It took her a moment to recover from the abrupt change in topic, but once she did, a thoughtful frown grew on her face.

She hadn't, actually. Cassie had always supposed that peds was a bit too grueling, even for her. To hold a life in her hands was one thing; to hold a child's life in her hands, while their parents were crying and pleading for her to save their baby? That was something else. Cassie had always just assumed she wouldn't be able to take it.

But then again, just now, saving Joshua's life? Fuck, that felt really, really good.

"Why do you ask?"

Ethan tilted his head, as if it were obvious. "Your instincts, not many people have them. And, while illegal in the moment, you never shy away from advocating for your patient. Ask anyone in the field, that is the most important part of peds, as your patients often can't advocate for themselves." Cassie just blinked at him, and so he added, "Just... think about it, alright?"

"Yeah, alright," she nodded, hesitant. After a short pause, she realized that she still wore her disposable scrub cap. Taking it off and tossing it in the trash, she turned back to Ethan, who seemed to be a bit lost in thought. "Hey, so, we're all good, right?"

He couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "Yes, we're all good, Cassandra."

"Friends?" Cassie sent him an over exaggerated cheesy grin, doing everything in her power to avoid an awkward silence.

"Friends," Ethan repeated, the smile on his face providing a silent thank you for her being so understanding. Without another word, he opened the door to the scrub room, stepping out first and then holding the door for Cassie to follow. And she did, heading in the opposite direction from him down the hallway.

Suddenly remembering something, she whipped around, calling out, "Oh, one more thing!"

Ethan stopped walking and turned back around. "What is it?"

"If we're gonna be friends, you'll have to start calling me Cassie," she smiled. "Because nobody calls me Cassandra. Like, nobody. Well, unless they're pissed at me, or something."

Ethan let out a defeated sigh, shaking his head to himself despite the fond nature of his tone. "Noted."

☆

"Cassandra."

Derek stood in front of her with his arms crossed, towering over her seated form. His face was overtly filled with anger, cheeks flushing red due to his clenched jaw. Several files of paperwork were strewn about on his desk, which severely lacked any sort of personalization aside from a photo of Meredith.

"Derek."

Cassie's tone was mocking, as was the aggrandized gasp that accompanied it. The metal chair she sat in only had two legs on the ground, the other two in the air as she balanced her weight above them. Her hair had been let down on her way to his office, messy waves framing her face, purposely adding onto the disrespect she was aiming towards him.

Jackson sat alone in the corner, breaking their staring match by loudly clearing his throat. Both their heads snapped towards him; Derek, with a glare, and Cassie, who just let out an unattractive snort.

(Without trying to hide her facial expressions, Cassie pointed to Derek while making eye contact with Jackson, her face scrunching in a way that screamed get a load of this guy, am I right?)

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Just now?" Cassie faux-clarified, her finger coming up to point, only to nearly fall off of her chair (apparently, physics required both hands to help balance). After gathering herself, which essentially just consisted of fixing her hair as if nothing even happened, she continued. "I was thinking that this is unnecessary. Don't you think so, Jackson?"

"Well, I, um, I, I don't-" the man in question froze like a deer in headlights, torn between agreeing with his sister or talking down to his superior. "I don't want to be a part of this."

Cassie narrowed her eyes at him. "Traitor."

"Could you imagine what would have happened if something went wrong, Cassie?" Derek didn't pay attention to their bickering, anger rising in his chest when he realized that she was only half listening. "Hell, if his mother didn't sign those forms? You would've been arrested."

"Yes," she agreed, patronizing in the way she spoke. "And then I would've become someone's prison bitch, and then I'd be forced to work in the hayfields for the rest of my life."

Jackson had to cover his mouth to restrain a laugh.

(Derek had to take a step back to avoid his rather violent urges. Noticing this, Cassie just smirked, resisting the impulse to ask him, what, are you gonna punch me again?)

"Not only could you have killed that kid, you could have potentially ruined your career." The words left his mouth out of a place of annoyance rather than concern, and Cassie was well aware of that fact. "Not to mention that you manipulated Avery into getting involved."

With a harsh scoff, Cassie rested all four legs of her chair on the ground, opening her mouth to retort back, when Jackson cut her off before she had the chance. "Hey, she didn't manipulate me into doing anything. Joshua was dying, so we saved his life. End of story."

Cassie looked over at him. "I take back the traitor."

"Thanks-?"

Sending Jackson a thumbs up before turning back to Derek, Cassie cocked a brow, her hands clasping together in her lap when she gazed up at him. "Just because you were accused of killing someone, doesn't mean that I was. You don't get to use this as an excuse to project your feelings about the Clark's lawsuit onto me."

Derek shook his head. "That's not what this is about. That lawsuit is settled, but this? We don't even know if the kid's mother is pressing charges!"

"Pressing charges for what, saving her son's life?" Cassie questioned him through a disbelieving chuckle. "Derek, she signed the papers. Even if she decided to press charges, which she won't, she would lose. Also, his name is Joshua, and thanks to me and Jackson, he's perfectly fine up in recovery. Maybe if you spent a little more time focusing on your hospital rather than being a lying piece of shit every chance you get, you would know that."

She didn't realize how angry he was, until he neglected to say another word, chest heaving while he just... stood there.

If Richard were still the Chief, Cassie wouldn't have dared to be so disrespectful. She would have apologized for how it went down, yet stuck to her arguement, and Richard would have congratulated her on following her instinct. But Derek wasn't Richard, and Cassie didn't owe him shit.

"Avery, get out."

Jackson seemed startled by Derek's order, though, he didn't make a move to stand up. "I'm good here, thanks."

The two residents were convinced they could actually see the steam coming out of Derek's ears. "Avery, go, this is a family matter-"

"Oh please, he's more my family than you are."

Cassie honestly didn't know where that came from. If anything, the immediate response was pure instinct; that, or she was just looking for ways to hurt Derek the way he hurt her. And judging by the look on his face, she succeeded in doing so.

And in a way, the statement was true. Jackson was her family, at least, by blood. Sure, she didn't actually know him all that well, but Jackson had never taken advantage of her kindness, or hurt her, or disregarded her safety in favor of his girlfriend's. Yeah, he lied, but he tried to tell her as soon as he could. She'd known him for a few months, she'd only been speaking to him for a few hours, and already, he was better at being a brother than Derek had been in the past three years.

The older man didn't seem to agree, though.

Cassie didn't see the way Jackson's eyes nearly popped out of his skull after she spoke, as she was too focused on the tears slowly building in Derek's.

Good.

"Cass," the name came out of Derek's mouth as a whisper, as if that was all he could choke out. "That's not what this... I'm your brother."

"Are you?" Cassie didn't soften her voice, not even a little bit. "Because the last time I checked, we don't have the same parents, do we?"

"Family isn't-"

"-about blood, yeah, I know."

Derek stared at her, and Cassie smiled at him, and in that moment, she was pretty convinced he could read her mind.

When she said go fuck yourself, she meant it.

Jackson blinked, the uncomfortable nature of his presence making him regret not listening in the first place. "You know, on the second thought, maybe I should-"

"You don't get to call yourself my family," Cassie snapped, a incredulous smile taking up her face yet not meeting her eyes. "You lied to my face for eleven years, and yet you're trying to make me out to be insensitive because I won't forgive you? Are you kidding? Jesus, Derek, take some fucking responsibility for once in your life."

Fuck, that felt good.

Cassie blinked, and suddenly Derek's sadness was replaced by anger; though, she wasn't exactly surprised.

"You want to talk about taking responsibility?" His voice was low, dark, once again proving to her that he had zero concept of the fact that he, too, had the ability to fuck up. "Fine. You're banned from the OR for a month. No surgery, no procedures, no watching from the gallery. Maybe that'll teach you about consequences, since you clearly don't think they apply to you."

For a moment, Cassie seriously considered slapping him again, but ultimately decided against it.

Briefly glancing over to Jackson, who didn't move a muscle out of a fear of being bestowed the same punishment, she bit the inside of her cheek, spitting her next words through sharpened teeth.

"My apologies, Dr. Shepherd."

In a flash, Cassie was on her feet and heading towards the door, Jackson murmuring a halfhearted apology as he followed her; he didn't feel bad for him, by any means, but he also didn't want to seek out an opportunity to undergo the same punishment.

Derek just watched them leave, some quiet form of regret rapidly building in his chest which he promptly ignored.

If Cassie didn't want to be his family, then he wouldn't treat her like she was.

☆

Despite his initial plan to avoid her, Mark didn't hesitate to approach Cassie when he noticed that she was upset.

Most people wouldn't have thought there was anything wrong, necessarily; just a tired doctor on her way home after a long day. But he knew it was more than that; the disheveled hair, the clenched jaw, the straight murder behind her eyes; after further speculation, Mark came to the conclusion that Cassie was pissed.

For a second, he thought that maybe she ran into Izzie Stevens, or something; the look on Cassie's face was pretty much reserved for her, in his experience.

"Hey," he dragged out the word, not entirely sure whether or not her anger would be directed at him. "What's, uh, what's wrong?"

Cassie stopped in her tracks right before she nearly opened the front doors of the hospital, letting out an exhausted sigh when she turned to face him. Mark's face briefly contorted in offense, before her features loosened, letting him in on the fact that it wasn't him she was mad at. Though, that didn't satisfy his curiosity.

"That depends," Cassie exhaled, running a hand through her hair and cringing when it got stuck in a knot. "Are you gonna be all weird like you were this morning? Because I can only deal with one ridiculous grown adult man at a time."

Okay, so, she had seen right through him.

Mark tripped over his own words for an uncomfortably long period of time. Cassie just looked up at him, her face blank besides the slight lift of her eyebrow, her foot subconsciously tapping the ground out of anxiety.

Ultimately, he couldn't decide right then if the weirdness would continue, so he curved the question, silently hoping she wouldn't bother asking again.

"Just tell me, Cass."

Deciding to let it go, she just sighed, again, letting out a short chuckle when she saw Jackson leave the building out of the corner of her eye.

"It's... a long story."

It had only just occurred to her that she had yet to tell Mark anything about her freshly revealed relations, seriously debating just word-vomiting it all up right then. The thought was genuinely appealing.

And like he had a sixth-Cassie-sense, Mark got the feeling that telling him would involve copious amounts of alcohol, and would need to be immediately followed by reruns of Friends. Luckily for them, he had both of those things at his apartment, which was why he ever so humbly suggested-

"Why don't you tell it to me back at my place?"

Cassie couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"That is not a good idea."

Mark thought it was a great idea. "I beg to differ."

"It's not," she repeated, her tone serious despite the growing grin on her lips. "Because if I go over to your place, and then we'll sleep together, and then I'll feel like we have to talk about how we slept together, and then you'll be all idiot-like, and then, similarly to this morning, everything will be awkward. Again."

With a tilt of his head, Mark just smiled.

"Or," he started, no trace of sarcasm in his tone, "You could come over and tell me what's going on, and then you could sleep with me, and then we don't have to talk about it, even though I think it's very cute when you ramble like you just did."

God, this man would be the death of her.

Cassie didn't want to think too hard about the reason he wouldn't talk to her about their relationship, or the lack of it. She didn't want to think about the fact that she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, or that no matter what she did, she couldn't help but feel like a piece of her was missing when she wasn't by his side. She didn't want to think about the future, or the past, or anything that wasn't right there in front of her.

Right now, she just didn't want to think.

Perhaps she'd been silent for a second, or maybe she hadn't said anything for an hour, but when she took a step towards Mark, he reacted instantly.

"No talking?"

Mark let himself place a hand on her waist, pulling her impossibly closer, his eyes darkening just the slightest amount. Gaze fitting over her features, he smiled, his other hand coming up to brush her hair behind her ear.

"No talking."

Cassie fought every urge in her body to just kiss him right then and there, instead choosing to tilt her chin up at him, similarly to how she had the night before.

"In that case," she muttered, her cold breath stinging his reddened cheeks at the proximity, "Lead the way."

author's note ━━━━━━
massie flirting with each other is
something that can be so personal

in other news, a certain season
finale begins next chapter.... i
am planning to post a separate
part beforehand with detailed
trigger warnings, but just in case
you miss it, there is a major tw
for gun violence! please try and
stay mindful of what you need
in order to stay safe, mentally &
physically, because at the end of
the day, that's all that matters.

but, with all of that being said....
what are your predictions for the
shooting?