CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
it's the end of the world as we know it.
season two, episodes sixteen + seventeen.

          CASSIE HAD THE FEELING. As a relatively intuitive person, she liked to think that she could sense when something bad was about to happen. Of course, it could easily just be her anxiety disorder making things out to be worse than they are, but then again, she'd never been wrong before.

The day her mom died, she had a sudden urge from the moment she woke up to get everything she needed to say off her chest. She did, and Bonnie died only a few hours later.

She had the feeling when Addison cheated on Derek, when her dog died a few years back, the first time Denny was rushed to the hospital for his heart, and even the night when Addison showed up at Seattle Grace.

And today, she had the feeling.

So, she was staying home.

Crawling into Meredith's bed, Cassie turned on her side to face her person. "I have the feeling."

Meredith mirrored her position. "You too?"

Cassie sighed. "Me too."

☆

Izzie and George shared an exhausted look, glaring at the two girls in the king sized bed. "You have to go to work," Izzie said determinedly. "You're an intern. Saving lives is not optional."

"Yes, it is. We're staying home."

George attempted a softer approach, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Hey Mer, Cass, maybe there'll be a horrible accident nearby the hospital. Cut a bunch of people open. Sternotomies, craniotomies. That'd be fun, right?"

"I don't care about surgeries," Meredith grumbled, turning over and resting her head on Cassie's shoulder.

Twenty minutes later, Cristina stood in the center of the room, dressed for work with a deadpan expression. "You have a feeling?"

"Yes," they chorused.

"Okay, what kind of feeling?"

"A bad one," Cassie said, staring at the ceiling.

"Like I might die," Meredith added.

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Today? Tomorrow? In 50 years? Because we're all gonna die eventually!"

"Enlightening."

"But now, we're late. Let's go."

Meredith groaned. "Cristina!"

Cristina centered herself to avoid an outburst, and sat down on the bed in the same place that George did. "Okay. This is me being supportive."

"Really?" Cassie raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, hey, fine. I'm totally supportive. Go."

Meredith sat up while Cassie continued to stare at the ceiling. "Okay, the man I love has a wife. And then he chooses her over me. And that wife takes our dog. Well, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him."

Cassie tilted her head. "That makes no sense."

Meredith gave Cassie a look, before shaking her head and finishing her rant.

"But, that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy! And my McDog. And sometimes—" she pointed to Cassie, "—my McPerson! She's got my McLife! And what have I got? You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time. You think there'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't."

"That was deep."

"Plus, my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones."

"Less deep, but valid."

"I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today."

Cristina looked at Cassie expectantly.

"I don't know. I just have the feeling."

Cristina stood, looking thoughtful for a moment, before yanking the sheets away from them and standing on the bed.

"Whatever! Everybody has problems. Now get your ass out of bed and get to work! Now! Move! Move! Move!" She kicked them off the bed as they scrambled to get dressed, not wanting a pissed off Cristina after them. "Okay, we're good to go."

☆

After a run in with a very pregnant Dr. Bailey, who went into labor as soon as she finished giving out orders, Cassie and the interns left to go to their assigned jobs. Herself, Meredith, and Cristina were in a trauma room with Burke, gaping at the sight before them.

The patient on the table was unconscious, with a paramedic's hand in his body cavity.

Nothing out of the ordinary or anything.

"How's his respiratory effort?" Burke asked.

"Absent breast sounds on the right side. Air bubbling on the side of the wound, he's shocky, and getting a little cyanotic," Cassie informed.

The patient, James, mumbled to the doctors about his wife. Cassie looked through the doors and into the pit, seeing a lady in shock who was screaming loudly with no indication that she was going to stop.

"Let's get him intubated and place an occlusive dressing over the wound," Burke said, before turning to the paramedic. "And who are you?"

"Hannah. Hannah Davies."

"Hannah, why do you have your hand inside my patient?"

"I'd like to say for the record that I told her not to," another paramedic prefaced.

"I tried to tamponade the wound with gauze and pressure, but the only thing that would stop the bleeding was my hand. Every time I tried to move it he starts bleeding out," Hannah explained. "Can I take my hand out now?"

"You don't stick your hand inside of a patient when you don't know how he was injured. You don't stick your hand inside of a patient at all," the other paramedic scolded.

"Yeah, I know that now!"

"Sir, you need to leave," Cassie ordered, noticing now Hannah tensed and moved her hand slightly as she yelled.

"Out of the room," Burke nodded.

The paramedic scoffed. "She gets to stay?"

"She has her hand inside of the patient."

Hannah smiled at them. "Nice. Thanks."

"Oh, don't get happy. You have your finger on a major bleeder. Mr. Carlson is running out of time. The only thing that you've won is an all expense paid trip to the OR," Burke sighed. "Dr. Harper and Dr. Grey, prepare to transport her to the OR. And let's make this happen quickly people."

Cristina looked around confused. "What do you want me to do?"

Burke gave her a knowing look. "I want you to make that woman out there stop screaming and tell us what happened."

"Oh, I can't go to the OR?"

"No. You have a thing to do," Burke said passive aggressively as he walked away, leaving Meredith and Cassie bewildered.

"What was that about?"

"If I'd known you guys were gonna get the good case, I would've let you stay in bed."

☆

Cassie stepped onto the elevator, running into Derek and Addison in the process. She smiled up at them, pressing the button to the OR floor.

"Hey Cass," Derek smiled, ruffling her hair.

Addison tilted her head. "I hear you get to scrub in with Dr. Burke, right?" Cassie nodded. "That's one hell of a case. Even I'm a bit jealous."

"Yep," she agreed, albeit halfheartedly. "Paramedic with her hand in a body cavity."

Derek narrowed his eyes, studying her for a moment. "Why aren't you more excited?"

Cassie sighed. "I have the feeling."

"The feeling?" he repeated with a frown. "Well that's never good."

"It's worse than usual, though. I can't help but think something really bad is about to happen."

"Everything will be fine, Cass," Addison smiled. "Don't worry. It's just a regular patient, yeah?"

"Even if something does happen," Derek shrugged. "We'll be there for you if you need it."

"I know," she said sincerely, calming down at their words. "Well, this is my floor. See you later!"

Cassie grinned, exiting the elevator as the other two watched her go.

☆

"How are you doing over there?" Meredith asksed Hannah, standing in the OR while Burke was scrubbing in.

"My hand is getting numb, and I gotta tell ya, this whole insides are all bloody and squishy thing is not good for my gag reflex. But I'm good. Is this okay? Me being in here like this?"

"Once Dr. Burke scrubs in, he'll have you remove your hand. Then you can go, and we'll fix Mr. Carlson," Cassie told her, speaking softly to ease her nerves.

Hannah sighed gratefully. "Good, because I know how much medicine I know, and it's just enough to never be allowed in an OR. It's only my second week as a paramedic. I got out of school about a month ago."

Meredith and Cassie shared a humorous look. "We haven't been doing this that long either."

"Oh. Talk about on the job training huh?"

"Okay everyone," Burke said, coming into the room and snapping on his gloves. "I'm going to do a thoracotomy, and Hannah here is going to pull her hand out. Dr. Harper is going to clamp the bleeder when we have more exposure. Ready?"

"More than ready."

"Scalpel," he said, holding his hand out for the instrument. "Okay, everyone. On the count of three. One, two—"

"Dr. Burke," Alex interrupted, slamming open the door to the OR with enough force for it to hit the wall. "I need to speak with you."

Cassie furrowed her brows. She knew Alex, and something about his current demeanor was unsettling to her.

"I'm in surgery, Karev."

"You want to talk to me, sir."

After a while of hushed whispering, the staff began to grow confused.

Cassie put her instruments down.

"Hannah," Burke said slowly.

"Yes, Dr. Burke?"

"What do you feel? Inside of Mr. Carlson. What is your hand touching?"

Hannah laughed nervously. "What do you mean?"

"Is your hand touching anything hard?"

Meredith and Cassie looked at each other, confused. "Hard?"

"Like metal?"

"Um, I don't know," she shrugged.

"Don't move your hand. Just tell me what you feel."

"Dr. Burke, what's going on?" Meredith questioned.

"Hannah?"

"Um, my finger tips are touching something kind of hard. Yeah, yeah, definitely."

"Oh my god!" the anesthesiologist exclaimed out of nowhere, making Cassie jump slightly.

The feeling was growing stronger.

"Dr. Milton!" Burke scolded.

Hannah started to panic. "What's wrong?"

"Hannah, I don't want you to move. Not your hand, not your body. Not an inch."

"Okay, you should know you're starting to scare me."

"Don't be scared. Everything is going to be fine. Dr. Harper, could you—" Burke motioned with his head for her to come to him.

She warily walked over. "Sir?"

"I want you to walk out of this room," he said lowly, his voice deathly calm. "Walk, do not run. Go and tell the charge nurse that we have a code black."

Cassie froze, her eyes going wide. "Oh my god."

"Tell him that I am sure. And then tell him to call the bomb squad."

☆

The OR floor was evacuated, other than Cassie, Meredith, the anesthesiologist, and the people in Derek's OR. Burke had ordered everyone to leave, but of course, not everyone did.

According to Alex, Bailey's husband had gotten into an accident on his way to the hospital and suffered a severe brain injury, which couldn't wait to be operated on. Derek prioritized him over his own safety, just as Meredith and Cassie did for Hannah.

The young paramedic was clearly scared out of her mind. There was no way Cassie would leave her all alone.

The elevator opened, a few bomb squad members coming out of it in an even line.

"You're the surgical team?" one of them asked, an attractive man, probably in his mid thirties.

"Yes," Meredith and Cassie said in unison.

"I'm Dylan Young, bomb squad." He turned back to his team. "All right, spread out and check the area, and then we'll secure the patient." He looked back to the duo. "Where are they?"

Cassie pointed to the OR down the hall. "Dr. Burke has them in there."

"Right, the rest of this floor has been evacuated?"

"It has," Meredith nodded. "Yes."

"Okay, you stay here. Nobody moves unless I say so."

"We've got people over here!" someone called out, looking into Derek's OR.

"I thought you said the floor had been evacuated," Dylan said accusingly.

"I thought it had. I'm not in charge or anything."

"They're not leaving," Cassie told them. "Burke already tried, trust me." Their attention was then brought to Cristina, who was yelling at a bomb squad member and blocking him from entering the OR. "I told you."

"Back up!" Cristina yelled, looking at Meredith and Cassie. "What's going on?"

"Bomb in a body cavity."

"Man," she huffed. "All I got is Bailey's husband's open brain."

"What procedure?"

"Craniotomy."

"Excuse me," Dylan tried to interrupt.

"But Bailey's having a baby right now!"

"Excuse me! Stop talking!" Dylan shouted, effectively shutting them up.

☆

"So how are they going to remove that ammo without killing Hannah and James?" Meredith wondered.

The three friends stood alone in the hall, waiting for the bomb squad to help Hannah.

Cassie frowned at the sound of sniffling coming from the OR, moving to look through the small window on the door.

"Cass, stop! The bomb squad guy said you're supposed to stay away from there."

"Is it just me, or is she shaking?"

Cristina went up as well, frowning instantly. "Is she squeezing that ambu bag by herself?"

"Where's Dr. Milton?"

Cassie opened the door slowly. "Hannah? Where's the anesthesiologist?"

"He, um, he left," she said bluntly. "He didn't wanna die."

Cassie noticed how she was breathing erratically.

"Hannah—"

"I think I'm going to take my hand out now."

Immediately, Cassie grabbed the ambu bag as Meredith went to her side and Cristina called for help.

"Hey, somebody help! Help here!" the intern shouted urgently into the hallway, causing Dylan and Burke come running in.

Meanwhile, Meredith and Cassie were trying to comfort Hannah, and failing miserably.

"I think I'm going to take it out now," Hannah repeated.

"Okay, we're almost to the finish line. You can do this," Cassie said nervously. "Just don't—"

"No, no, no, I just want to take it out and be done with it," she cried.

Meredith moved behind her, trying to comfort her in any way possible.

"Hannah," Burke spoke up. "It won't be much longer. Remember, you're keeping him from bleeding out."

"No!" she screamed, startling the others. "I am 22 years old! I should not even be in here! This is some kind of mistake!"

"She's panicking. We need to clear the room," Dylan ordered.

"I'm not leaving," Meredith and Cassie chorused.

"Harper, Grey, let's move!"

"I'm not leaving her!" Cassie shouted.

Dylan stared them down. "Get everyone out now, Dr. Burke."

"They're my interns. I am responsible for them."

Everyone began to talk at once. Meredith's hand was on Hannah's arm, trying to calm her down, while Cassie continued to give the patient air.

"No, it's gotta come out! It needs to come out!"

"It's alright, Hannah, look at me."

"NO!" Cassie flinched. "It's gotta come out!"

"Hannah, look at me. You can do this," Cassie soothed.

"Hannah, you need to calm down. You need to relax. Everything's gonna be fine."

"No!"

"Hannah. You can do this."

"No. It has to come out. I have to! I have to!"

Before Cassie could even begin to process what was happening, Hannah pulled her hand out.

Cassie jumped forward, hoping to shield the others from the blast, but ended up crashing into another body and falling to the floor.

The next thing she knew, Cassie was on the ground, staring up at Meredith, who had her arm in the patient's body cavity.

Meredith's gaze snapped down to Cassie's, communicating a silent yet simple message.

Fuck.

☆

"You realize how stupid that was," Dylan deadpanned, moving slowly around Meredith.

"It was, Mer. Incredibly stupid!" Cristina added.

"Very stupid," Cassie nodded.

"Oh, don't act like you're any better," Cristina scoffed. "I saw you dive over there, Cass. I mean, you do realize that if the bomb went off, you would've been the first to go?"

"That's true," Dylan input, before adding, "But, if the bomb went off, she would have dimmed the blast so the rest of us wouldn't have died. Very stupid, but heroic."

"Can we stop talking about me dying?" Cassie huffed, turning back to Meredith. "You were even more stupid than I was."

Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Okay, yeah, let's make fun of the girl who has her hand inside a body that has a bomb in it while a stranger is velcro-ing a flak jacket to her boobs. That sounds fun."

"You've got a sense of irony," Dylan raised a brow.

"Only when things are really ironic."

"We had a feeling," Cassie blurted after a moment of silence, sharing a look with Meredith and Cristina.

Dylan frowned. "What's that?"

Meredith shook her head at him. "Nothing."

Burke entered the OR, arguing with Cristina and trying to get her to leave. Cassie agreed, the less people the better.

Not including her, of course.

Giving up the fight, Cristina leaned into Burke with a heavy heart. "You know in the movies, how there's always the heroes and then there's the other guy? You know, the guy who sees danger and runs in the opposite direction?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"Be the other guy."

Meredith watched her leave with glassy eyes.

"You too, Harper," Burke ordered. "Out."

Cassie snorted. "Fat chance."

Meredith widened her eyes. "Cass—"

"You guys need someone to give the patient air, anyways, right?"

"Leave, Cass."

"No."

"Anyone can do that," Dylan rolled his eyes at her excuse. "You need to get out—"

"I am not leaving you," Cassie snapped suddenly, ignoring the men in the room and staring directly into Meredith's shocked eyes. "You did a very stupid thing, but now you're here, and I'm not leaving. I won't sugar coat it, alright? There's a very solid chance that we'll all blow into a million pieces any minute now. I know that. But if I decided to leave you here alone, and you died? I couldn't live with myself, Mer. I wouldn't want to live with myself. So I'm not leaving."

Meredith took a deep breath, nodding slowly and turning back to Dylan, who seemed at a loss.

"So, you have a plan right? You have a way to get me out of this, right?"

☆

"This area has been evacuated, Dr. Yang," Derek said without looking up, as Cristina put on gloves and a mask and went to his side.

"And somehow you're still here."

"I have to be here," he said, gesturing to Bailey's husband on the table. "You don't."

"Yes I do."

"Dr. Yang."

"Yes I do," Cristina raised her voice, before lowering it once again. "Besides, I guess you need a little company. How's he doing?"

Derek sighed. "He's hanging in there. How's the paramedic Hannah doing?"

"Hannah?"

"The girl with the bomb."

"Oh," Cristina stuttered, deciding not to tell him the truth. "Uh, she's hanging in there too."

☆

Burke and Dylan were whispering by the door, quiet enough so that the girls couldn't hear them. Noticing Meredith's distress, Cassie spoke up.

"Stop it," she interrupted, causing a halt in their conversation. "Meredith isn't a patient. I'm not a patient."

"What?"

"The two of you are looking at her the way we look at patients. Like she's going to freak out at any minute. Neither of us are going to freak out."

"Whatever it is, just tell us straight out," Meredith added.

Burke sighed. "The main oxygen line runs directly under this room."

"Okay," Meredith said, before seeing their faces. "Uh, not okay? I need one of you to tell me what this means exactly. Because I think I know what it means. But I tend to be a glass half-empty kind of girl, so I don't trust what I think it means. Because what I think it means, is that if the bomb were to explode over the oxygen line, the whole hospital could blow up."

They just stared at her.

"And that's just crazy, right?" Cassie asked quietly, knowing the answer already.

"All it means, is that we have to move."

"Move?"

"That's right. We have to move."

"Wait. So you're telling me that I can't even wiggle my fingers because we'll all blow up, but we have to roll the whole gurney out with my hand inside? Really?"

"Well, that's our safest option."

Cassie rested a gentle hand on Meredith's shoulder. "Breathe. You're okay."

"You handling this, Grey?"

Meredith hesitated, glancing at Cassie out of the corner of her eye. "Yeah. I'm handling this."

☆

"You're doing great," Dylan said quietly to Meredith as they wheeled the patient through the hallway, accompanied by another bomb squad member and Cassie, who was keeping the patient alive by giving him air.

"Let's go over it again?"

Dylan nodded. "The device is shaped like a rocket. About 8 inches long. We're going to have everything ready. Dr. Burke's team is going to be in place. My team is going to be in place. And I'm going to ask you to take the hand that you have in Mr. Carlson, wrap it around the device—"

"—and pull it out," Meredith finished.

"Level. Pull it out while keeping it level."

"You know, I don't like you very much," Meredith told him bluntly.

"I don't like you either."

"Really? Because I like you both," Cassie input, trying to find some humor in the very serious situation.

"Not the time, Cass."

Cristina suddenly popped out of nowhere, startling Meredith and making Dylan glare at her. "What are you doing?"

"Stop," Dylan ordered. "Stop right where you are."

"What are you doing?" she repeated. "Cass, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I thought Dr. Burke told you to leave."

"We're moving to an OR further away from the oxygen line. You know, in case we blow up," Meredith said.

Cassie shrugged. "We have a mutual death wish, I guess."

"I distinctly remember him telling you to leave!" Dylan raised his voice. Cassie rolled her eyes.

"No offense, but please stop talking."

"Where is he?" Cristina asked urgently.

"He's prepping the OR."

"Then he'll never know, will he."

Dylan sighed at her insistence. "You, stay over there." Dylan turned to Meredith. "You ready?"

"Tell me something," Meredith said to Cristina.

"What?"

"Cristina," Cassie sighed, "Meredith has her hand on a bomb. We're freaking out, and most importantly, I really have to pee. Distract her. Tell her something."

"He told me he loved me," she blurted. "Last night. He thought I was sleeping, but I heard him say it."

"Burke loves you," Cassie stated, surprised.

"Yeah." Dylan looked at Cristina, which she quickly noticed. "Mind your own business."

"Burke loves you," Meredith repeated.

"Okay, everybody has problems."

"Well are you going to say it back, or—"

"Of course not. He didn't say it to me. He said to the sleeping me. Reciprocity is not required. Besides, he might blow up."

"Excellent point."

"We're almost there," Dylan whispered. "Nice and easy."

"You had to have a bad feeling, and you had to say you were going to die today."

"I told you," Meredith and Cassie said in unison.

☆

Cristina left shortly after the group entered the OR, going back into Derek's OR to help with his surgery, since he was basically flying solo.

"How's it going out there Yang?"

"Everything's fine."

"How's the girl with bomb?"

"How's he doing?" Cristina asked, avoiding the question.

"He's almost there. Suction. Irrigate. That's great." He turned back to Cristina. "You didn't answer my question Yang."

"Sir?"

"How is the girl with the bomb?" he repeated.

Cristina sighed, conflicted, but decided to tell him anyways. He deserved to know.

"It's Meredith," she stated, causing his head to snap up instantly. "The girl with bomb is Meredith. And Cassie is with her, and refuses to leave."

All of a sudden, the heart monitor connected to Tucker flat lined.

☆

"I'm good. She can go," Burke said, stepping back from the OR table and nodding at Dylan.

"All right Meredith. Wrap your hand around the nose cone."

She didn't move.

"Grey." Nothing. "Grey."

"Meredith," Cassie whispered, handing off the ambu bag and moving to stand right behind her. "Breathe with me. It's okay."

Cassie made exaggerated breaths, which Meredith tried and failed to copy.

"I can't!" she cried. "No, I can't. This is crazy. Burke, you gonna go? You go. Both of you should go. And Cass, you shouldn't even be here! Don't worry about me, okay? Just go!"

"Nobody's dying today, Grey," Burke said.

Cassie watched tearfully as Meredith broke down. "Mer, please, just breathe."

"Meredith, I want you to look at me. Look at me," Dylan said sternly, turning her attention to him. "I know this is bad. And I know that I'm this ass who's been yelling at you all day. So you pretend that I'm not. You pretend that I'm someone you like. Whatever you need. But you need to listen to me."

Seeming to disappear for a moment, Meredith took a deep breath. "Okay."

Cassie couldn't help herself, and gently wrapped her in a hug from behind, making sure not to add enough pressure to move her body.

They both knew it was her way of saying goodbye. Just in case.

Meredith began to slowly remove the bomb.

"You did good," Dylan whispered to the blonde as she rested the bomb in his palm. He walked calmly away from the operating table.

Meredith and Cassie followed behind him into the hallway, both curious and stuck in the moment.

They saw Dylan pass the bomb to another bomb squad member, when all of a sudden, everything went black.

☆

Everything was blurry, but Cassie didn't care.

She was alive.

Leaving the rubble of the explosion, Cassie took the elevator alone to the lobby. There was only one person she needed.

Everyone turned their heads when she walked in, covered in cuts, debris, and scuff marks.

She could hear people asking her if she was okay, but couldn't even bother to respond.

She saw the person she was looking for. He saw her, and immediately ran towards her while she did nothing but stand still. He wrapped his arms around her, careful of any injuries she may have. Cassie just stood there, crying.

"You're okay," Derek sighed, a stray tear running down his face. "Thank god you're okay."

"Der," Cassie cried quietly, hugging him back. "I was so scared—"

He silenced her by holding her tighter.

"Shh. It's okay. You're okay."

author's note —
i ended up changing this chapter
a bit, mainly because i felt like
cassie being the one to put her
hand on the bomb took away
from meredith's character
development!

also, updates will now be much
more frequent, so make sure to
keep an eye out daily! <3