CHAPTER FORTY FOUR
where the wild things are.
season four, episode twelve.

☆ trigger warning ☆
brief mentions of eating disorders

IT HAD BEEN SIX WEEKS SINCE CASSIE AND MARK HAD BEEN ALONE IN A ROOM TOGETHER. They would see each other in passing, work together, and even go to Joe's with Derek, but they were never alone. Cassie, as emotionally stunted as she was, hid her feelings well.

Mark, on the other hand... let's just say, he'd been a bit more irritable than usual.

Mark loved Cassie. He loved the way she lit up a room without even trying, he loved the way she would blush madly when she was excited, and he loved the way she connected with patients and made them feel safe. He loved her.

And if Cassie would've stopped avoiding him at all costs whenever he so much as glanced in her direction, he might have be able to tell her that, before he lost hope.

But, in the end, Cassie was still Cassie; she expertly avoided dealing with her feelings, until they came bursting out all at once.

If only she knew how soon that would be.

☆

Cassie was patiently waiting in the ambulance bay, already in her trauma gown and gloves, when the rest of the residents came rushing out.

After noticing that Cassie was already there, they all simultaneously rolled their eyes.

"Of course you're already here," Izzie groaned. "When do you sleep?"

"I don't," Cassie deadpanned, giving her a distasteful look. "And don't talk to me."

The residents were in the middle of a surgical contest; the person with the most points at the end got to win. None of them knew what the prize was, but that didn't stop them from trying to kick each others asses.

"Who's winning?" Meredith asked Alex, who was holding a clipboard keeping track of points.

"Yang and Cass are tied," he said.

The two shared a smirk. "Surprised?" they asked in unison.

Izzie scoffed. "What? Let me see... I'm twenty six points behind? That's not possible. Count again. What about all the surgeries?"

"You only get three points for watching. You have to do," Cristina informed her.

"I do do," the blonde defended herself. "I can't make them let me do procedures."

"You gotta ask," Meredith said.

Cristina nodded. "You gotta take charge of your own destiny, make it happen."

Cassie raised a brow at her. "Did you swallow a book of inspirational quotes for breakfast or something?"

"Shut up," Cristina rolled her eyes, before rushing up to the ambulance that was pulling in.

☆

Cassie and Meredith were in a trauma room with their patient, Philip, and his wife, Jennifer. All he had was an injured hand, which was incredibly lucky, considering that his brother had his organs on the outside of his stomach due to a bear attack.

Phillip finished signing a few forms, handing them over to the doctors. "There. Done."

"It's completely illegible," Meredith said lightly, adding the papers to his chart.

His wife laughed nervously. "He's a slob."

Cassie smiled at the stressed out wife and husband. "Okay, Mr. Robinson, Dr. O'Malley and Dr. Blair are going to come and take you to x-ray, and Dr. Grey and I are going to take your wife to the waiting room until you get back."

"She said wife," Jennifer smiled. "I'm still not used to that."

"We're newlyweds."

"Congratulations—"

"She's my rebound girl," Philip said straight faced.

George and Lily, who just recently entered the room, shared an awkward look with the residents.

"Um, he's a little hopped up on painkillers right now." Jennifer mumbled, leaning into her husband's ear. "I think you're oversharing, honey."

"She thought she was my rebound girl, but I rebounded her, all the way to the church. Only knew her ten days, but when you know, you know. You know?"

"Mhm," Lily grinned nervously, motioning for George to help her prep the x-ray. "T-Totally."

☆

After comforting Jennifer, and more importantly realizing that a large piece of her scalp came off in the attack, the two residents brought her to a separate trauma room.

Unfortunately, Meredith had to page Derek, who had broken up with her six weeks ago, for a neuro consult, and Cassie had to page Mark, who was desperately trying to get her alone, for a plastics consult.

The vibe in the room was interesting, to say the least.

"CT is clear," Derek said.

"But it's deep," Mark added. "That bear clawed you good."

Jennifer shook her head in disbelief. "God, I didn't even feel it."

"Adrenaline's a pretty powerful drug," Cassie told her with a soft smile.

"I thought people only said that about love," she joked. Cassie unconsciously looked over to Mark, seeing him already looking at her. He tried to study her expression, see what she was thinking, but she looked away before he got the chance.

Mark cleared his throat after a moment. "You're gonna have to repair the galea, but it should reattach without a problem."

Jennifer sighed. "I just got happy. I just got married, and I'm really, really happy. I don't have permanent brain damage, do I?"

"No," Derek said, "it appears that you do not."

"Okay, good."

Derek clicked his pen and looked at Meredith. "Page me if any neuro deficits appear." He barely looked at her before he walked out, only sparing a small smile in Cassie's direction.

"You got lucky," Mark told the patient. "Your scalp wasn't completely taken off, so we can just sew it back on. Your hair should cover the scar. You won't even need surgery."

"That's great. Thank you."

Mark nodded. "Cass—" he cut himself off, "— Dr. Harper and Dr. Grey will take care of you, and you can go back to being a happy newlywed."

Jennifer sighed. "Okay."

Cassie, who was standing by the door, turned her body to let Mark through while offering him an incredibly awkward, halfhearted smile. He paused in front of her, only a few inches away from her face, causing them to stare at each other for a long moment.

Cassie broke the eye contact as soon as she realized what she was doing, moving over towards Jennifer while Mark stood still in the doorway with a strange expression.

"Alright, let's get you sutured."

☆

Cassie and Meredith were talking at a nurses station after Cassie finished stitching the wife's scalp, going over their cases.

"He married his rebound girl," Meredith sighed, thinking about how Derek was currently dating Rose. "Did you hear the way he said it? I kind of feel bad for her."

Cassie looked as though she was deep in thought for a few moments, until she slammed her chart down and looked up at Meredith with wide eyes. "He married his rebound girl."

"Yeah, that's what I just said."

Cassie rolled her eyes. "No, Meredith, he married his rebound girl."

Meredith gave her the most confused look she could muster. "Yeah... that's what I just said."

"Meredith, listen," the brunette said eagerly. "He provoked a bear cub for no reason, his handwriting is unnaturally sloppy, and he impulsively married his rebound girl after knowing her for ten days. Nobody does that."

"What are you thinking?" she asked, slowly catching on.

"I'm thinking he has a brain tumor."

Meredith thought about it, and a smile slowly grew on her face. "Holy crap, you're a genius!"

"Yeah," Cassie nodded, not picking up on Meredith's tone. "I know. I've mentioned it several times." Meredith grabbed her hand and started to pull her away. "Where are we going?"

"To win this contest."

☆

"Something tells me you're not just worried about the damage to my hand," Philip said nervously, as Cassie checked his eyes with her flashlight.

"Phillip, earlier today, you were squinting at your paperwork," she noted.

Jennifer nodded. "I keep telling him he needs glasses."

"And your handwriting was very tiny, and wasn't all that legible," Meredith continued. "Is that normal for you?"

Phillip shrugged. "Well, uh, never been a straight a student, if that's what you mean."

"Are we done here?" Jennifer sighed. "We could both use some rest."

Cassie tilted her head as she looked at Philip. "Humor me for one more second, okay? Okay, look straight ahead. Tell me when you see my fingers."

Cassie put her pointer fingers on either side of his head, and slowly brought them towards herself. It wasn't until her fingers were about a foot away from his face that he finally spoke up.

"I see them."

"TUMOR!" Meredith and Cassie shouted, jumping up with their fists in the air. Phillip and Jennifer stared blankly at them.

"Oh," Cassie laughed awkwardly, nudging Meredith in the ribs. "I meant, oh no, tumor."

☆

Mark was walking with Derek down the hallway, when Cassie ran up to them with a huge smile on her face. Though, she was staring right at Derek, so she either didn't see Mark, or was just very good at ignoring him.

"Tumor," she panted, breathing heavily from running with the scans. She put her hands on her head to get more oxygen flowing, as she suddenly got a dizzy spell out of nowhere.

Derek looked at the MRI, and back to Cassie with a smirk. "How many points for a medical mystery?"

She shrugged, still breathing manually. "A lot, probably."

"Alright, I'll go talk to your patient—"

"Oh, it's actually Meredith's patient too."

"Why isn't she here then?" Derek asked, before the look on Cassie's face told him everything he needed to know. "She didn't want to talk to me, did she?" Cassie frowned, but nodded nonetheless. "Figures."

Derek sighed as he walked away, leaving her alone with Mark. Though it took about five seconds for Cassie to notice him standing there, as she was feeling increasingly disoriented.

"Oh, hi."

Mark moved to say something, but cut himself off when he noticed the dazed look in her eyes.

"Cass?"

"I, uh," she stuttered. "I think I need to sit down."

Without even thinking, Mark wrapped his arm around her waist and carefully led her to an empty patient room. Cassie leaned into his chest, briefly forgetting that she was avoiding him, and melted into his arms.

Reluctantly, he let go of her as she sat down on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. "When was the last time you ate, baby?"

She ran her hands through her hair and looked up at the spinning ceiling, not even registering what he called her. "Um," she racked her brain, realizing that it had been about a day and a half since the last time she put food in her body due to the contest. "Crap," she mumbled. "I'm sorry."

Mark sighed, and reached into his pocket to grab the granola bar and small bottle of orange juice that he always kept on him just in case this happened.

"Eat," he ordered, unwrapping it for her. She took a bite, and avoided his gaze at all costs. "I thought we were working on this, Cass."

"I am," she insisted. "It's this stupid contest. I've just been so focused that I forgot."

"You need to take care of yourself," Mark said softly. "I'm worried."

"I'm trying," Cassie said, slightly tearing up. "It's not on purpose, okay? And I— I'm not this weak little girl who needs everyone to watch her every move. I'll be fine."

"Cass, I never said—"

"I'm freaking trying, okay?" she repeated with a watery huff. "I'm trying."

He frowned deeply, rubbing her shoulder for comfort. "I know you are, angel."

Unexpectedly, Mark brought her into a tight hug, wishing he could do something, anything, to help. Little did he know, she couldn't have made it that far without him.

☆

Later, once Cassie had gotten back to her usual self — aka,  back to pretending that everything was totally fine — she met the other residents outside of Webber's office, where he was talking to Bailey, to see who won the contest.

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked Cristina as she joined them. "You spent the last three hours watching a surgery. That's three points."

"I'm trusting you guys screwed up enough that it won't matter," she shrugged.

Izzie sighed, annoyed. "I could still win. I could. I did get a lot of points today."

Cassie snorted. "Fat chance."

"What's the matter with you?" Alex frowned. "Where's the trash talk, Charles Barkley?"

Cristina shrugged. "She knows I'm the best."

Bailey walked out of the office with her son in her arms, causing the residents to crowd her.

"Dr. Bailey!"

"Who won?"

"Congratulations..."

"Who won?!"

Bailey smirked. "Harper."

Cassie grinned proudly. "Sweet."

"The guy from the bear attack had a brain tumor, and she and Grey caught it. Eighty points for solving a medical mystery, but Harper was ahead since the beginning, so that's what put her over the top."

Cristina scoffed. "I could've found a tumor."

Bailey shrugged. "But you didn't. You chose to scrub in with Hahn and watch for three little points. Now congratulate Harper."

"Congratulations," they mumbled dejectedly.

"And your prize," Bailey said, handing Cassie a pager with rhinestones on it.

"A shiny pager," Izzie stated.

"A sparkle pager," Bailey corrected.

"What's so great about a glitter pager?" Cristina asked.

"A sparkle pager," Bailey repeated, glaring at her. "It is special. It is surgery's holy grail. It's been passed down from resident to resident, and now it belongs to Dr. Harper. For the next three months, whenever you all get a surgery, you have to page this pager, and if Cassie wants your surgery, she has the right to take it from you."

Cassie raised a brow, observing the pager in her hands. "Nice."

Alex groaned. "Come on."

"What?"

"No fair!"

Bailey shook her head at the upset faces, and grinned at the smile on Cassie's. She would never admit it out loud, but she was happy to see the first real smile that had been on Cassie's face in weeks.

"Enjoy the power, Harper. Now, may I recommend you all go home? You smell, you're greasy, you need to bathe, and I'm sick of looking at you. Even my one year old here is sick of looking at you. Isn't that right, bug? Sick of looking at your little, ugly faces."

Cassie twisted the pager in her fingers. "Oh, I will definitely enjoy the power," she laughed.

author's note —
y'all aren't ready for
the next chapter!!!!!!
[insert evil laughter]