Jeongguk followed Taehyung to his study, his hand firmly clasped against Taehyung's. His hoodie brushed against his thighs as he walked, heart feeling much at ease after confessing everything to Taehyung. The night had settled in outside. It was way past their dinnertime.

Unease gnawed at the corner of Jeongguk's mind but he was relieved, in a way. As long as there were no secrets between them, Jeongguk was okay.

Taehyung took a seat on his swivel chair and patted his thigh. Jeongguk sat down on Taehyung's lap. The elder turned on his laptop and Jeongguk waited.

"I have been hiding this from you for a long time" Taehyung whispered, making Jeongguk look at him.

Jeongguk's lips parted open.

"I know... I know it's going to hurt" Taehyung whispered, concern etched on his eyebrows. "But I can't keep pretending everything is fine. Not after all the stress this very thing has been causing you. You deserve to know, and I'm sorry it took me so much time"

Jeongguk frowned, worry blooming in his chest. "Okay," he said slowly, his voice soft, though a trace of unease crept into his tone. "What is it?"

Was Taehyung a porn star? Did he sell his nudes online? Was that why he was so rich?

No, that didn't make sense. Was he actually unemployed and had been lying to Jeongguk all this time? No, that was ridiculous!

Had he been gambling online, maybe? Yeah, that was a better explanation.

Taehyung inhaled deeply, steeling himself. "Before I tell you what it is... I need you to understand why I did it. Why I started it."

Jeongguk blinked, confusion flickering in his eyes. "Started what?"

"You've always known I have strong feelings about fairness. About freedom and control. How I've always hated the way power is concentrated in the hands of so few people—the ones who decide what's acceptable and what's not. The ones who profit off controlling everyone else's choices."

Jeongguk nodded slowly, not interrupting but watching Taehyung intently.

"I wanted to change that," Taehyung continued. "To create something that gave people back their agency. Something that allowed them to make their own choices, without interference, without judgment. I know that sounds... idealistic, maybe even naïve. But I believed in it. I still believe in it."

Jeongguk tilted his head, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly as Taehyung spoke. "That doesn't sound bad," he said cautiously. "It sounds like you were trying to help people."

"I was," Taehyung said, his voice barely above a whisper now. "But the way I went about it... That's where it gets complicated." He paused, his throat tightening. "I built a website, Jeongguk. A marketplace. It's on the dark web."

Jeongguk blinked, his confusion deepening. "A marketplace? Like... for what?"

"To facilitate things people need but had been made illegal by the government"

Jeongguk's face shifted from confusion to disbelief, his mouth opening slightly before he managed to form words. "Taehyung... what are you saying? Are you—are you running something illegal?"

Taehyung visibly gulped. "Yes" He sighed. "It is illegal. But when I started it, I didn't think of it like that. I thought of it as a way to challenge the system. To give people a choice. I thought it would be... revolutionary."

Jeongguk stared at him, his eyes wide. He could not believe what he was hearing. "And you've been doing this... for how long?"

"I started planning it around... four years ago. I built the website 3 years ago"

"After you graduated and moved into this apartment" Jeongguk muttered. "With me"

"Yes"

Jeongguk felt his heart ache, for some reason. "And I had no idea what was going on with my boyfriend... under my own roof"

"Jeongguk..."

The silence that followed was heavy, pressing down on both of them. Jeongguk looked away, his jaw tightening as he processed what Taehyung had said.

"How illegal is it?" Jeongguk finally said. "What happens there? Do you sell things?"

"No. I only created the platform and people use it to sell things on there"

"Like that?"

"People sell drugs-"

"Drugs?!" Jeongguk shouted. "Are you insane?"

"Not..." Taehyung sighed. "Not every drug under the sun"

"What... you know what drugs are good and bad?" Jeongguk's said, voice rising.

"No, listen. I can moderate what people sell, okay? So if I feel like I don't want something on my platform, I ban that user"

"What do you ban?"

"Firearms, some drugs that I know which are very harmful to people. Drugs that do more harm than make you high"

"Tae, all drugs are bad"

"Weed is legal in a lot of countries, even though it's illegal here. That's what's being sold the most on my website"

Jeongguk only stared.

"I don't allow anything like human trafficking or sex trafficking. In fact, one time it looked like someone was attempting such a thing and me and... Dongsik..."

"Oh so he's in this too" Jeongguk cocked an eyebrow.

"Listen. We hacked into this guy's server and exposed him to the police. Our hunch was right. This guy had kidnapped someone and it was on the news too. He got caught because of our help!"

"So you're like spiderman"

Taehyung smiled. "I won't say spiderman. He won't do anything illegal"

"What else?"

"I don't allow hitmen services and sale of porn"

"Oh" Jeongguk nodded. "What do you allow?"

"Prohibited medicine that many people need, counterfeit goods, hacking tools and services, illegal software, banned books, banned documents, encrypted communication tools, financial services... things like that. And many people sell legal things too. Things that could be cheaper but capitalism doesn't allow anyone to sell for that cheap"

Jeongguk watched Taehyung with furrowed eyebrows. He didn't know what to feel about what he had just heard.

"The thing is, I moderate my website well. Dongsik helps me a lot too. The moment I see something that goes against my ideologies, I ban that user. I keep the website clean"

Jeongguk nodded. "But it's not very... widespread, right? I don't know anything about the dark web. But it's not that popular, right?"

Taehyung opened his mouth but his face turned apologetic.

Jeongguk's heart sank. "Oh no..."

"It's... very popular. Let me show you" Taehyung said and started logging into his laptop. He opened a browser and started typing some things. A dark screen popped up and...

"This is the website" Taehyung muttered and then switched to a different tab. "I'm going to log in as the moderator"

Jeongguk watched Taehyung type some commands and enter into a different window.

"Here, you can see the statistics," Taehyung said.

Jeongguk leaned closer to the screen to see some moving numbers. He gasped.

"What? You have 9342 users right now? 2130 real-time transactions!" Jeongguk gasped.

"Do you see the profit I have made today?"

Jeongguk's eyes moved down the screen to a different statistic and his eyes bulged out. "$37,283.03!"

Taehyung let out a small chuckle.

Jeongguk turned to Taehyung, eyes still wide from surprise. "That's more than what I earn in a month! You made all of this today?"

"Yeah. This year, the popularity of the website doubled up so I have been making at least $20,000 per day, every day of this year. I also get paid in bitcoin"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me"

"I get a percentage of every transaction on the platform and it differs from the type of good or service. And most transactions are worth thousands of dollars"

Jeongguk gaped at Taehyung.

"Baby, I have been buying you the finest clothes and I even bought you a car for your graduation. How do you think I did all that?"

"I didn't think it was from running an illegal website! This is like working for a mafia!"

Taehyung shrugged. "I'm doing something good, Jeongguk. I'm not hurting anyone. I feel good about doing my part to stand against capitalism. I'm doing what I believe is right"

Jeongguk sighed, nodding.

"Are you mad at me? Disappointed?"

"No. I'm not. I'm just... surprised and concerned"

"I can understand why"

"You haven't gotten in trouble for this?"

"No" Taehyung smiled. "There have been people trying to hack into my servers and the website but that's it. It's no biggie for me"

Jeongguk exhaled. He placed his forehead against Taehyung's. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"I wanted to tell you sooner," Taehyung said softly. "But I was afraid. Afraid of how you'd look at me. Afraid of losing you."

"Because I'm such a law-abiding citizen?"

"Yeah. You've always been so righteous. I didn't know how you would take it. I thought you might be mad at me or would break up with me if you knew what I did for a living"

"Is this the only thing you do for a living?"

"I have clients. I have built a few websites for some corporations and I work for those companies as a freelancer too. I have told you this"

Jeongguk nodded.

"I know I hurt you by hiding it. And I'm so sorry, Jeongguk"

Jeongguk didn't reply. There was an ache in his chest.

They had known each other for over a decade— since childhood, through awkward teenage crushes, fumbling first dates, and trials of adulthood. Jeongguk had thought there was nothing about Taehyung he didn't know. He thought he knew the elder through and through. Yet, here they were, and the depth of what had been hidden from him felt like an abyss he couldn't quite fathom.

Taehyung thought of hiding something so important and detrimental from Jeongguk, the man he had loved for eight years and known for 19 years.

"I wish you had chosen to tell me about it" Jeongguk whispered. "I always knew that you were opinionated about many things. But I didn't think it would go beyond that. Did you think I wouldn't understand your choices?"

"Partly. I was scared of losing you if I showed you the real depth of my passion"

"I wouldn't judge you, Tae. You're the love of my life. We have known each other forever. I wish you had trusted in me enough to keep your secret"

"No, baby. It wasn't about whether you would be able to keep this secret. I was scared to lose you. That you wouldn't approve of what I did. Please understand me"

"Yes, but I wish you had more trust in me to know that I will understand you" Jeongguk whispered. "You said that we share everything. You lied. And you told me a lot of lies because of this website too, didn't you? While you were trying to hide it from me?"

Taehyung sighed. "I'm sorry. I was scared"

"But we are a team. I'm hurt that you kept it from me, Tae. I don't like things being hidden. Especially when you're the one hiding. I trust you not to hide things from me"

Taehyung nodded, eyebrows furrowed in guilt and worry. "I'm so sorry, baby. I really am. And this is the only aspect of my life that I have ever hidden from you. I have only lied to you about this. But I didn't do it to hurt you. I just didn't want to lose you. Please believe me"

Jeongguk nodded slowly, letting out a deep exhale. "Okay"

"I'm sorry"

"From now on, don't hide anything from me. I love you for you and I feel like I have never known you completely"

"I didn't think of it like that. I don't want you to think that you don't know me. You did. You just didn't know an aspect of what I did for work"

"But it's not just work, is it? It's what you stand for"

Taehyung sighed. "That's true"

"Who else knows about this?"

"No one in my life does. Not my friends, not my family"

Jeongguk nodded. "I understand why you didn't tell me. But I'm still hurt that you kept it from me"

Trust, Jeongguk thought bitterly, wasn't just about the years you shared or the history you built together. It was about effort. About vulnerability. About choosing, over and over again, to let someone in, no matter how messy or complicated things got. Even a lifetime together wasn't enough to erase the need for openness, for communication.

He felt sad, almost betrayed, that Taehyung had decided to carry this burden alone instead of trusting Jeongguk with it. It stung not only because of the secrecy but also because it was a reminder of how relationships, no matter how long-standing, required constant tending and effort to stay afloat. Trust wasn't static. And no matter how comfortable they had grown in each other's presence, and no matter how long and well they have known each other, that comfort could never replace the hard work of truly staying connected.

"I won't do that again. I swear" Taehyung whispered. Pleaded. "Please believe me"

Jeongguk searched Taehyung's eyes. "I believe you" He whispered before pressing his lips against Taehyung's.

The kiss was tender at first, a balm for the wounds they had unknowingly inflicted on each other. Taehyung cupped Jeongguk's face, his thumb brushing away the tear tracks that lingered on his cheek. Jeongguk's hands found their way to Taehyung's chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt as if grounding himself in this moment, in this man who was his everything despite the pain.

"I'm sorry," Taehyung murmured against Jeongguk's lips, his voice breaking.

"I know," Jeongguk replied, kissing him again, deeper this time, his lips parting as if to draw Taehyung closer, to seal the cracks between them. The apology, the forgiveness—it was all there in the way their mouths moved together, desperate and yearning.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung whispered once again.

"Yeah, just kiss me" Jeongguk whispered back, capturing Taehyung's lips in a kiss once again, but Taehyung pulled away.

"Please don't keep things inside. If there's anything bothering you, please tell me. I can't have any issues between us. I want to clear the water" Taehyung whispered with desperation.

"The water is clear" Jeongguk whispered. His fingers caressed Taehyung's cheeks softly. "I promise"

"What are you feeling now?"

"A little sad" Jeongguk admitted.

"Because I hid this from you?"

"Yeah, and because I thought I knew everything about you but I apparently, didn't" Jeongguk muttered. "So that hurt"

Taehyung nodded. "Okay. Anything else? Are you mad at me?"

"I'm not" Jeongguk smiled. "I'm not mad at you for doing what you do. I genuinely understand why you kept the secret from me, too. But I do feel sad about it. I think that's it"

Taehyung nodded. "The water's clear?"

"Crystal. And it will remain crystal clear unless you hide more things from me"

"I won't hide anything from you again" Taehyung promised. "I won't lie to you again"

Jeongguk nodded. "Okay. I believe you"

"What can I do to make you feel better? Less sad?"

Jeongguk smiled, fingers tracing the outline of Taehyung's lips. "For now, just this" He pressed his lips against Taehyung's. Taehyung kissed back as the younger's eyes fluttered close. His tummy burst with butterflies as Taehyung's hands squeezed his hips.

Jeongguk parted his lips, pressing his tongue against Taehyung's. Their tongues met, the kiss deepening and Jeongguk's hands wrapped around Taehyung's neck. The elder sucked on Jeongguk's tongue, earning a small sound of pleasure from the back of the latter's throat.

Taehyung shifted, pulling Jeongguk closer until their bodies were flush. His hands slid down Jeongguk's back, tracing familiar curves, as if trying to remind himself of what was real—what he could never risk losing again.

"Jeongguk," Taehyung whispered, his voice low and reverent, his forehead resting against Jeongguk's. "I love you."

Jeongguk's breath hitched, his heart clenching at the sincerity in Taehyung's tone. Taehyung's words sounded like a plea. And Jeongguk wanted to believe it, to feel it, to drown in it.

"I love you too," Jeongguk whispered back, his lips ghosting over Taehyung's jaw, trailing warmth down the line of his neck. The shift was subtle but electric, the air around them sparking with a different kind of tension.

Taehyung's fingers found the hem of Jeongguk's hoodie, tugging it up as if asking for permission. Jeongguk answered with his lips, hungry and insistent, his body leaning into Taehyung's touch.

The study was dim, the warm glow of the desk lamp casting shadows that danced on the walls, but neither of them paid it any mind. Taehyung stood up from the seat as Jeongguk got off his lap. Taehyung guided Jeongguk back, pressing him against the edge of his desk. Their lips were back on each other, hungrily kissing. One hand resting on Jeongguk's narrow waist, he closed the laptop with his other hand, pushing it away to give Jeongguk space to sit on the table.

Jeongguk got the sign. He was naked against the cold wood and Taehyung stood between his legs. The elder pushed Jeongguk's hips towards him and the younger's half-hard cock pressed against Taehyung's pelvis.

"Here?" Jeongguk asked, a hint of surprise laced in his breathless voice.

Taehyung's lips curved into a small smile, his eyes darkening with something primal. "Here," he confirmed, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers racing down Jeongguk's spine.

Jeongguk smirked and pushed his tongue into Taehyung's mouth once again. Taehyung groaned, pinching Jeongguk's sides. Jeongguk's hands slowly reached Taehyung's clothes, pulling the shirt over his head before reaching for his waistband. They were kissing feverishly when Jeongguk pushed his hand inside Taehyung's pants and wrapped an arm around the warm flesh.

Taehyung moaned against Jeongguk's lips, the kiss breaking in the process. Jeongguk took out Taehyung's cock, pulling the fabric down. He stroked it up and down a few times, earning low sounds of pleasure from the elder.

"I wanna fuck you" Taehyung groaned.

"Hyung" Jeongguk whispered. "Fuck me"

"I'll go get the lube" Taehyung whispered.

"No need. Let's do it like this"

"We need lube"

Jeongguk brought Taehyung's hand to his mouth and wrapped his lips around two digits, sucking diligently.

"Fuck" Taehyung cursed. "How filthy"

Jeongguk wanted to smirk but Taehyung pulled his fingers out.

"Spit" Taehyung ordered.

Jeongguk obliged. The next thing he knew, Jeongguk was pressed firmly against Taehyung as the elder scissored two fingers inside Jeongguk, fingering him open. Jeongguk moaned as Taehyung's fingers brushed against his prostate.

"Your cock" Jeongguk moaned. "Now"

Taehyung harshly squeezed Jeongguk's ass. "Ordering me, are you?"

"N-No hyung"

"Say the magic word"

"Please" Jeongguk whispered breathlessly. "Want your cock"

"That's a good boy" Taehyung smirked.

He pulled his fingers out of Jeongguk's ass and spread his legs apart. Jeongguk leaned back, his elbows on the table. Taehyung licked his fingers and started stroking himself, spreading the saliva and pre-cum on his length. He smirked at Jeongguk before pressing his tip against the younger's stretched hole.

Jeongguk's breath hitched as Taehyung slowly pushed in. Jeongguk gasped at the way the pain kicked in with the stretch. Taehyung was lengthy as well as girthy. Jeongguk could never get used to him.

Taehyung bottomed out in no time, his balls pressed against Jeongguk's plush ass.

"Move" Jeongguk whispered soon. He was impatient and needy.

Taehyung dragged his hips back and slammed back into Jeongguk and the younger gasped. Taehyung repeated the action, a rough growl leaving him.

"So fucking tight" Taehyung let out.

Jeongguk moaned. Taehyung's hips moved, the pace building up and coming to a rhythm. It didn't take long for the pleasure to properly kick in as Taehyung's cock brushed against Jeongguk's prostate with every thrust. Shockwaves of heavenly pleasure shot through Jeongguk's body and at one point, his elbows gave up and his whole upper body was laid flat on the desk.

Taehyung held one of Jeongguk's legs and his other hand held his waist, keeping him in place for him to fuck.

His thrusts were hard and fast, just the way Jeongguk needed it. The perfect pace to drive him into his climax.

"I'm close, h-hyung" Jeongguk moaned.

"Me too" Taehyung replied. He removed his hand from Jeongguk's leg and brought it to Jeongguk's torso. He caressed down his chest, brushing past his erect nipples and onto his erect cock that dripped pre-cum. He wrapped his hand around it, jerking it.

"Hyung!" Jeongguk let out. Tears pooled in his eyes and his cock twitched in Taehyung's hand. "Please– please... I want... close" Jeongguk couldn't form a sentence. His mind was in shambles and every thrust drove him closer to the edge.

However, Taehyung didn't need words to understand Jeongguk's body language. He pulled Jeongguk up, embracing him and Jeongguk wrapped his arms around Taehyung's neck and his legs around his waist. Taehyung's thrusts only faltered for a second, before picking up the usual pace.

Taehyung pressed soft kisses up Jeongguk's neck and captured his lips in a kiss. So when they both found their release, they were kissing, gulping down each other's sounds of ecstasy.

They kissed lazily as they came down from their high, chests rising as if they had run a marathon.

"I'm not letting us drift apart again," Taehyung murmured against Jeongguk's lips, his voice barely audible but heavy with resolve.

Jeongguk's fingers caressed Taehyung's neck, holding him close. "We won't," he whispered; his words a promise, as their world slowly began to feel whole again.

🧊

hope you liked the 1st smut of the book!