I want to say goodbye

I want to die

I want to stop lying to people about being happy!

I want to stop having to fake being happy for everyone just to come home and cry myself to sleep

I hate insomia i hate that im depressed i hate that i cant eat without feeling sick I HATE WANTING TO DIE EVERY FUCKING SECOND EVERY DAY!

.....

I just want to feel better

I want to stop feeling so numb so useless so weak

I want to feel normal

I want to be able to eat normal

I want my parents to care

I want someone to notice 

To notice my bloodshot eyes with the big bags underneath them

To notice the bruises and tiny cuts and scrapes that were "accidents"

The music's helping a little 

WHY CANT I BE A NORMAL PERSON WITH NO MENTAL ILLNESSES AND NO PHYSICAL PROBLEMS WHO CAN ACTUALLY SLEEP WHO CAN ACTUALLY EAT WHO CAN ACTUALLY GO OUTSIDE NOT WORRYING IF THEIR MENTAL ILLNESSES WILL SHOW OR NOT?!

WHY CANT I BE A NORMAL STRAIGHT WHITE GIRL WHO DOESN'T HAVE 7 DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HERSELF IN HER BRAIN

WHY Cant i just be normal?

Why do I have to be weird?

Why do I have to be a weird depressed peice of shit who no one cares about and everyone is scared of because of his stupid mental illness

Why cant I just be dead?

NO ONE FUCKING CARES SO STOP RELOADING THE PAGE TO SEE IF YOU HAVE NOTIFICATIONS BECAUSE NO ONE CARES!NO ONE WILL EVER CARE FOR A FREAK LIKE YOU!NEVER EVER! YOUR FRIENDS PROBABLY DONT EVEN ACTUALLY LIKE YOU!WHY CANT YOU JU

WHY CANT I JUST EXCEPT THE FACT THAT THYRE PROBABLY FAKING IT? BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED ME FROM KILLING MYSELF THATS WHY!PEOPLE HAVE REMINDED ME TO EAT AND HAVE ACTUALLY TALKED TO ME AND HAVE WISHED ME A GOOD DAY OR A GOOD NIGHTS REST! THATS THE ONLY REASON WHY IM STILL STANDING TODAY! YOU KNOW THAT BETTER THAN ANYONE 7! I KNOW YOU DO! I KNOW YOU WANT HER BACK WE ALL DO BUT ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO RAISE SOMEONE BACK FROM THE DEAD YOU KNOW THAT!