NOVA
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07/02/2003
Panay, The Philippines
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The second Banksy revealed that Altashih have Leo, I turned into a raging, unhinged madwoman.

I don't know if he's dead or alive.

Then again, they could have killed him during the raid if they wanted him to die so badly.

They're probably going to use him against us.

—

"I don't know what the fuck we're waiting for! It's been a fucking week!" I seethe at the Commanders, throwing my hands down on the desk; grabbing a pot of pens and lashing it against the wall.

North has clearly influenced me.

"We're waiting for our damn wounded to heal, Shields! If we pushed in at any point this week, we wouldn't have had half of our fucking numbers!" North yells back at me, standing up from his chair and pointing his finger at me.

He does have a point, but my mind isn't comprehending that.

My focus is on getting Leo and the others out of the possession of Altashih, alive or dead.

"The last time I checked, everyone was doing a whole lot fucking better!" I scream.

It's just a complete standoff between me and North, Kingston and Vincent are completely silent. They're probably worried that I'm so unhinged right now, the next thing I launch will be at their heads.

"We still need to come up with a fucking plan! It's not just Hendrix we're going to try and break free, it's also the other eighteen goddamn hostages!" He bellows.

"I know that, goddamnit! If we don't come up with a strategy in the next fucking day, I'll go there on my own!" I yell, gripping my nails into the edge of the desk with the urge to flip it over entirely.

That is a complete death wish, I'm well aware that I'm acting irrationally.

However, trying to remain rational in this situation is really fucking hard. I don't think I've ever had the urge to act this impulsively before; usually I'm calculated, I like to think things through, organise a solid plan.

Right now though, I'm ready to power into that damn farmhouse guns a' blazin'. I'll mow every single fucker down in sight if it means getting to them. Getting to him.

"You ain't going nowhere on your own, Shields! We will come up with a plan, until then, just keep your fucking impatient self calm!" North yells at me.

If I wasn't still clinging onto my withering strand of self control, I'd have smashed a hole into the wall by now.

Deep breaths.

The Commanders watch me practically meditate in front of them for a few seconds, trying to chill my burning rage.

After a few seconds of calming myself, I heave out an exhale and spin on my heels without another word; striding straight out of the door.

—

"They still haven't planned anything," I mumble to Tara, pacing around the base with her restlessly.

"They will, they just need some more time." She sighs, rubbing her arm across my shoulder with a frown.

"That stupid bastard Jed managed to escape as well, same with Abe. We should've had someone stay with them the whole time, how the fuck did we manage to get hit so damn bad?" I groan.

"I don't know, we lost a good few members of the team also. It's been the only attack since I joined where we've suffered so many fatalities." Tara says quietly, hanging her head low.

"Yeah, Lisa was one of them." I whisper, mind shooting me right back to spending the final moments of her life with her. The way I had to plug her wound as she practically choked to death on her own blood.

Lisa didn't deserve that.

Thomas, James, Tyrese, Cody and Sam didn't deserve that.

I scuff some dirt up from the floor in anger, shoving my hands into my pockets.

"I swear to God, the second I get my hands on Jed, he's a dead man." I hiss under my breath, halting in track to lean against a wall.

"I think we all feel the same way about him, Novie. I really hope Leo is okay." She sighs, shaking her head.

I really fucking hope Leo is okay. I fucking hope he's alive, at least. If he isn't, I don't know what I'll do. I never thought the day would come where I realise how fucking much I'll miss him.

"Yeah, me too," I mumble.

My hand brushes that familiar coldness in my pocket. I link my fingers around the rough metal body of the compass, pulling it out so I can look at it once again. I wonder how many times he used this compass to navigate his way.

I wish there was a way the arrow could spin to guide me his way.

"Is that his?" Tara asks, putting out her palm as I pass it to her.

"Yeah, I found it in his vest." I murmur, earning a confused glance from her.

"Why were you looking in his vest?" She tilts her head.

"He gave it to me during the raid," I sigh.

Tara raises her eyebrows, running her thumb across the compass, "oh really?"

She hums for a few seconds, putting the compass back into my hand.

"This might sound ridiculous to you Nova, but do you maybe think that there's some underlying feelings between the pair of you? I mean, this time last year, the mention of each others names made you both angry. Now, he's sacrificing his safety for your own."

She says it so quietly it's as though she's treading on eggshells.

I mean, I guess we did get really damn close to kissing in the washroom. Then again, that was just the heat of the moment. Right?

I've never thought about it on a deeper level, and I don't plan on telling Tara about my little encounter with him.

There's an acknowledgment that she is somewhat right. He did give up his vest for me. He didn't have to do that.

But that's just what a loyal teammate would do.

"That is ridiculous, of course not." I snort slightly, shaking my head.

She gives me an unconvinced gaze, shrugging her shoulders as we continue our lap around base.

"I just want to see him alive and not in an execution video," I sigh, Tara nods along.

"I think we all want to see him alive. He's been a huge part of Fleetwood for so many years. It's Leo Hendrix, he can't go out that easily." She says with a small smile. I can't tell if she's trying to reassure me, or herself.

I don't respond, instead I just stare upwards at the dusking sky. The Commander's have organised a vigil for tonight, honouring the teammates we lost during the raid. Considering we can't exactly get their bodies back to the US since our operation isn't over, we're holding their remembrance here.

I just hope that Leo isn't somebody we need to be paying our respects to.

—

"We were caught off guard last week. That cost us twelve lives; twelve talented officers of Fleetwood who have served us with loyalty throughout their careers."

North paces in front of us all, naming all of those who we lost. I cringe as I hear Lisa's name, the realisation that she really is dead sending a shudder creeping up my spine.

I know for a fact Lisa was one of four siblings. She was so close to them, she always spoke about them and how much she missed them. Knowing that they will have received the call with her 'cause of death' is unnerving.

It could have been any of us, skill had no correlation with surviving that night. Leo's vest took a fair few bullets. If he hadn't put it over my head, they'd be lodged somewhere in my chest and I'd be one of those remembered at this vigil.

"We currently don't know the status of Leo Hendrix, one of the Captain's from my Hawk group. It doesn't sound right to put him in our vigil since he could very well be alive, but on the painful chance he isn't, I want us to remember him for his bravery. I want us to remember him for his courage and the sacrifices he made for Fleetwood-"

Hearing North's speech about Leo has my fists clenching at my sides. I'm so close to blurting something out right now. Or crying my fucking eyes out. He's speaking as though he's undeniably dead.

"He's alive, he's got to be alive." I speak out over him, earning the gaze of the whole group.

Surprisingly after a few seconds, some of them nod. Seems I'm not the only one who's got some hope.

Although, I think I'm just trying to speak it into reality. He could be alive, but he could also very well be dead.

North lets out a long sigh and hangs his head. He wants to believe me, that's why he hasn't said anything in response. He loves Leo, in some unusual way.

He takes a few seconds of silence before starting to speak again, about something completely different. His voice is droning on in the background for me, since my mind is calculating a plan. The same plan I've been calculating all week, the one that's going to get us into that damn farmhouse as soon as fucking possible.

I grip his compass in my pocket once again. Determination blazes through my body like a wildfire.

If there's ever been a damn Code Red in my whole career, this is it.

—

I pace around near his bunk, everyone else is still outside and mingling after the vigil. I came inside with the excuse of getting an early night.

I actually just want to put his compass back with the rest of his things. I'm scared of losing it. If I lose it and he is alive, I can imagine he'll be pretty damn pissed when he finds out.

I don't know why I'm hesitating to go near his shit so much.

With a sigh, I pull out his rucksack from under the bottom bunk. A pair of his socks is the first thing I see laying on top of his messy arrangement clothes. If I wrap it in the socks, it will be safe.

As I get to work bunching it up, something steals my gaze, something buried deeper in the rucksack; in the middle of a few shirts. I spot something glinting. It's half badly covered in a brown postage wrap, cello-taped around the edges. There's a shoelace tied around it's handle in a bow with a tiny piece of paper attached to it.

There's no denying what it is, it's a gun.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I put down the socks and reach out for it. It bares some odd familiarity, even as I'm handling it through the packaging. The weight, size.

Through a small gap in the wrapping, I catch a glimpse of an engraving.

A circle. An 'S' crossed over a 'W'. My hands react before my brain as I tear the paper off of it.

It's my Smith & Wesson.

One hand creeps over my mouth as a wave of emotions surge through me, free hand reaching for the note and unfolding it hesitantly.

'Sorry you nearly died. I knew you'd be upset about losing this, the least I could do was go and find it for you after what happened.

-Leo'

I don't know what it is, but the tears start flowing as I curl up on the floor against the leg of the bed.

He went out to find my gun, he didn't have to do that.

He used to call it 'ancient' and say that I needed an upgrade. Now he went out of his way to retrieve it for me.

What changed between us?

He apparently came sprinting like a madman according to Tara after Jed tried to kill me. He resuscitated me, got me back to base. He watched me like a hawk, he gave me his vest, he went out to find my pistol.

I think he almost kissed me.

In them few times, there's two occasions where he's saved my life.

Now I owe the same to him.

I slide the pistol into my shorts back where it belongs. A newfound surge of strength dawning over me, the need for vengeance.

With my trusty S&W, I swear to fuck I will blast a bullet through Jed Nolan's brain.

—
08/02/2003

"Shields, get in here!"

North's croaky voice rings throughout the base. I hastily pace over to the office, he is waiting eagerly in the doorway as he steps aside to let me in.

Kingston, Vincent and an officer called Miles Quinn are all sat around the desk.

Miles Quinn is a Captain within the Eagle's. I don't know him well, he's never really communicated much outside of his group. He's a few years older than me, significantly more experienced in the field.

He raises a hand in greeting, scratching it back through his black hair. I do the same as I fold down into the chair next to Vincent.

North takes a deep breath before leaning forward against the desk opposite us, eyes closed and vein bulging as per usual.

"I think I've decided on a plan, we need to execute it as soon as possible." He mumbles. His tone doesn't sound all too confident.

Yesterday he was turning down my idea of pushing in. Now all of a sudden he wants to do the exact same thing?

"What's with the change of heart?" I ask, resting my chin against my hand in anticipation.

He sighs and shakes his head, opening up his laptop and turning the screen around.

It's an email, one from the same sender as the execution videos. We all scoot forward to read it eagerly.

'Release the prisoners in the US, or we execute yours in 2 days.'

"Fucking great, so we have to execute this tomorrow without a mistake, otherwise someone else gets beheaded." I hiss under my breath, shaking my head frustratedly.

I don't even know who they fucking want us to release. Sure, there's a few prisoners who definitely have links to Altashih, but they've been locked up for years. Why are they only retaliating now?

"As horrendous as it is, you're right Shields. Luckily most of our group seems well enough to cooperate. I just don't want to suffer any losses like we did last week, those numbers were far too fucking tragic." North murmurs with a frown.

"There's a chance some Officers are going to die this time around, we're going against a high risk terrorist group after all." Miles chimes in with that cheerful comment. 

He's unfortunately right.

Although, if I were to die knowing I'd saved the lives of 18 hostages, I'd die a satisfied woman.

"Hear out North's strategy, intervene if you feel necessary." Vincent nods, gesturing for North to continue talking.

With another deep breath as he gathers his thoughts, he talks us through his plan.