NOVA
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29/04/2003
Alto, New Mexico
Silverwing Base
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It's been a miserable few days.

My blood has ran cold since the moment I found out Nicholas got into the States. Its frozen even more since the 26th, when I found out he was sighted in Lubbox a few days prior.

The one thing keeping me going is the thirst for revenge.

I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job of hiding how I'm really feeling.

"There's been no more sightings of him as of now," Vincent explains to me and Yamato, as though Nicholas is some sort of goddamn UFO.

Yamato looks fresh as a daisy, I look like I've crawled up from the pits of hell.

"We need him to slip up again," Yamato states.

"He didn't slip up in the first place. It's all part of his scheme, he obviously wants us to know that he's coming," I yawn, resting my forehead on the desk.

"How are you feeling about this, Shields?" Vincent asks, eyebrows crinkling.

"I mean, it's definitely not ideal," I snicker.

"Not ideal at all, at least when the others arrive we've got a better advantage here in New Mexico, it looks like that's where he's headed," Yamato nods.

"Absolutely, do you think he's coming after you, Shields?" Vincent sighs.

"He probably thinks I'm dead, the last time he saw me was when he put a 5 inch blade in my chest. Doubt he expected I'd survive that," I grumble.

"That's true. I didn't think of that," Yamato shrugs.

"Also, did we find out what flight he was on?" I raise up my gaze, tilting my head.

"The Crows went over all flights from the Philippines within that time frame. The airport cleaners usually always work, so it's unlikely the license went days unnoticed before it was passed into lost property,"

"And?" I lean forward.

"There was no direct flights, only one single flight that had a changeover in Saudi Arabia,"

"And has anybody been in contact with the staff on that flight?" Yamato asks, Vincent hums.

"Mhm, they recognised him. Said he was a 'very cold man',"

"Well there's a surprise and a half," I chuckle, earning a hardened glare from both of them.

"You seem awfully nonchalant about this, Shields," Vincent sighs.

"What else can I do? I can sit around and worry all I like, it's not going to change anything," I shrug.

I'm actually very fucking worried.

Of the few winks of sleep that have passed over me, all of them have been disturbed by his sickening face.

The face that looks exactly like mine, only his is carved by the devil.

"I mean, she does have a point," Yamato grins, nudging my arm.

"'Suppose you're right, worrying isn't going to change anything for the time being," Vincent groans.

Out of the blue, a ridiculous idea flashes right through my mind. I blurt it out before I've even comprehended the thought.

"Maybe I could use myself as bait," I shrug, not even aware of what in God's name I've just suggested.

"Don't be bloody stupid," Vincent hisses.

"If he sees that I'm alive, he'll most likely want to come after me to finish his little 'vendetta' for good. We can lure him in, similar to how he did with us in Panay,"

"You're not putting your life on the line for this bastard again, Shields. He's already tried to kill you once, and that's one too many damn times in my books!"

"It was just a suggestion," I murmur.

I'm definitely not thinking straight. Am I ever fucking thinking straight anymore?

Because my head is like a goddamn whirlwind, I only just pick up on something Yamato said before

"Not ideal at all, at least when the others arrive we've got a better advantage here in New Mexico, it looks like that's where he's headed,"

Others?

"Others?" I ask, not even realising I'm interrupting Vincent mid sentence.

"What do you mean, 'others'?" He knits his eyebrows together.

"Yamato said something about 'when the others arrive', what did he mean?" I tilt my head.

Vincent scowls, shooting an angry glare at Yamato. "You really bloody forgot to tell her?"

"I thought you were telling her?" Yamato raises his hands in defence.

"Will somebody just fucking tell me? I'm stood right here," I huff.

"We're just getting some extra support from the other groups, is all. They'll be arriving at some point today." Vincent explains.

The other groups?

Leo?

"Do we know who they're sending?" I lean forward, Vincent nods and pulls out a notepad.

"Let me see, from the Falcons we have Shelley, Rogan and Holmes. From the Hawks we have Mulvey, Banksy and Hendrix."

Oh fuck.

The great news is that Tara's coming. The shit news is that Dylan's coming.

The news I'm uncertain of is that Leo's coming.

"Sounds good," I speak with artificial confidence.

"Well in that case, you're both fine to leave. There isn't much to do here at the minute, may as well focus on training the rookies." Vincent dismisses us, popping a humbug in his mouth.

We slide our chairs under his desk in unison before leaving his office.

—

"So, you really had a shard yanked from your leg with no painkillers?" Avery grimaces, shooting with accuracy at her targets.

"Great work, Avery. And yeah, wasn't my finest moment in life," I chuckle.

These kids act as though I'm a damn war hero.

"I bet I could take that," Noah grins, displaying much more confidence than his brother.

Noah reminds me of a younger version of Leo. He's got that suave arrogance about him, the infinite confidence.

Avery reminds me of a younger version of myself. She doesn't hesitate to speak her mind, and often outsmarts Noah which pisses him off. She's also really damn good with a gun, it's no wonder she got recruited.

Joe is just quiet, unlike either of them. Calm, collected and polite.

"Don't be damn stupid, Noah! You'd be squealing like a pig," Avery shakes her head.

"I honestly hope you never have to take that, Noah," I chuckle, adjusting Joe's grip on the pistol he's using.

Training the rookies is a good way to take my mind off of things. It's something I actually feel in control of.

I've also grown very fond of them, they're like the little siblings I never had.

"Noah thinks he's a big tough guy. There was a spider in his cabin last week and he practically shat his pants," Avery smirks.

"Shut up, Ave, or you'll be my new target in approximately three seconds." Noah scoffs, she simply snickers and shakes her head of short blonde hair.

Maybe they already remind me a little too much of Leo and I.

"Only people I actually respect are allowed to call me Ave," she grins provokingly.

"I don't care-"

"-Alright, no more damn bickering. Just concentrate on the targets," I interrupt with a groan, unable to bite back a small laugh.

I can't exactly talk, since bickering with Leo is my expertise.

There's a sound of commotion from outside the training area, all three of them turn to me for an answer.

I know exactly what it is.

"It's just the others arriving from the different groups," I shrug, trying to remain nonchalant despite the fact that my heart is racing.

"Holy fuck, can we go and meet them?" Noah asks, already packing his pistol away.

"Don't see why not," I force a smile.

A clanking sound rattles around the training room, all three of them urgently shoving their artillery back into it's respective cases before flying outside.

I'm trying to come up with a plan of how to go and see Tara, without seeing anybody else.

I won't be able to avoid them. I won't be able to avoid him.

Like Dr Greene always fucking tells me, it's best to face these things head on.

I take a sharp breath, combing my fingers through my hair and adjusting the straps of my cami before striding outside.

—

There's handshakes getting passed between every goddamn person, spring sunlight beating down on us.

I squint my eyes, searching for Tara.

She finds me first, practically rugby tackling me from behind as I stagger forward a few steps.

"Oh my Jesus Christ, I've missed you so damn much!" She squeals, gripping me in a death lock.

"And of course I've missed you too!" I chuckle, turning around to face her as she releases me.

"You took out your braids?" I tilt my head, admiring her glossy black hair.

"It was about time, they'd been in for God knows how long! I wanted to switch it up a little," she grins.

"Well it's definitely a change," I laugh, feeling a new, small presence beside me. Glancing across, Avery is stood next to us with a beaming smile.

"Tara, this is Avery. She's one of our rookies, and a very skilled one at that. Avery, this is Tara Mulvey, probably one of the best snipers Fleetwood has ever seen, also basically my sister," I smile as I introduce them.

Avery quickly extends her arm to Tara, "it's a pleasure, Officer Mulvey. I've heard lots about you,"

Tara chuckles and gently takes her hand, "it's just Tara, no need for professional titles. Nice to meet you too, Avery. How old are you?"

"I'm about to turn nineteen," she smiles.

"Well, I'm sure you're doing great for your age. Especially if you've got the approval of Novie over here," Tara gestures to me.

"She's definitely got my approval," I grin, giving a small nod to Avery.

She moves away from us after a few minutes of small talk. Tara takes my arm and practically hauls me aside.

"Have you seen him yet?" She whispers. I know exactly who she's talking about.

"Nope," I shake my head.

I'm staring to feel a little nauseous over seeing him again, considering I have absolutely no fucking idea where we stand.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, you know?" Tara grins.

"Oh? What do you mean by-"

"-and there she is!"

With the sound of that grating voice, I'm approximately three seconds away from aiming the S&W right underneath my chin.

"Been a while, 'ain't it darlin'?" Dylan smirks, wrapping an arm across my shoulders.

"Yes, it has." I huff.

"How've 'ya been holding up?" He croons.

"Not awfully, yourself?" What a goddamn lie.

"Just been missing my girl!" He winks, Tara erupts into laughter.

"You need a fact check Dylan," I snicker.

Just as he's about to say something else, Noah and Joseph appear at his side. Luckily, he quickly diverts his attention from me, giving Tara and I the opportunity to move away.

"So wait, what were you saying? I don't have to be worried?" I urge as we reach the wall of the cabins, she shakes her head desperately.

"Tara? What-"

"-Novie, just turn around," she whispers.

I already know what I'm about to see the second I look over my shoulder.

To my fucking irritation, Tara flies off and leaves me alone. Inhaling a sharp breath, I slowly spin on my heels until I'm facing that goddamn 6'5 frame of his.

I hate to admit that he's still as handsome as ever.

"Nov," he acknowledges after a tense moment.

"Nova," I correct. He sighs, scratching the back of his floppy dark hair.

"I've been wanting to talk to you since-"

"-since you didn't say goodbye when I was leaving the Philippines? Since then, hm?" I fold my arms, eyebrows knitting together.

"Let me fucking talk, Nova," he growls.

"I've got stuff to do, other people to greet. Leave me alone for now," I sigh, already turning to walk past him before he grabs my arm.

"Nova, I swear to fuck. You will hear me out. I'm coming to your cabin at 8pm, and we're going to speak, okay?" He orders.

"And what if I don't want to 'speak'?" I mumble.

"Then that's your choice. I have my parts of what I want to say to you, and I'm sure it's vice versus-"

"-I have nothing to say to you," I interrupt with a completely blatant fucking lie. He heaves out a groan, leaning down to my height.

"You know, Nova. Once you're a damn good liar, it's easy to spot when somebody else isn't telling the truth,"

"Oh, I know very well that you are a damn good liar," I hiss.

He ignores me, pushing up to his full height and releasing his grip on my arm.

"8pm," he murmurs over his shoulder, already walking away from me. Tara reappears and takes his space.

"See? I told you that there was nothing to worry about-"

"-nothing got solved, it was like two bricks having a conversation. He's apparently coming to my cabin at 8pm to 'speak'," I shrug.

Tara raises her eyebrows, a small grin tugging on her lips, "speaking, hm?"

"Yes, Tara! Not for that," I roll my eyes, biting back a snicker.

"Sure, sure," she chuckles.

"Speaking of cabins, where are you even meant to be staying? Is there enough for you all?" I cast a brief glance across base, at the terraced rows of cabins.

"Me and Banksy are in, well, Lisa's old cabin," she sighs.

I remember sleeping in Carlos Richards' old cabin when I was in the Hawk's. It was very fucking eerie. I don't think I could stomach sleeping in Lisa's old cabin, with how close I was to her.

"Well, if you ever can't sleep, you can always come and stay in my cabin," I smile.

"I know, thanks Novie. Anyway, you need to tell me about the bastard. I've heard it from Leo's perspective, but it's hard to understand when he's just grunting," she shrugs.

"That sounds like Leo. You must be goddamn starving, come and get some food. I'll fill you in on the details whilst you're eating," I rest my hand on her shoulder, guiding her towards the food hall.

—

"You've explained it a lot better than Leo," she snickers, pushing her empty plate away from herself.

"I mean, he's my goddamn brother. I think it'd be a little weird if I didn't know all of the 'ins and outs'," I grin.

Tara sighs, wiping a hand down her face. "I keep forgetting he's your fucking brother. It just doesn't make sense, how you're like this and he's like that,"

"He's just a lunatic," I roll my shoulders.

"Are you scared, Novie?" She rests her hand over my forearm sympathetically.

Absolutely terrified.

"No, I'm alright," I force a smile.

"You're not, but I won't pry. I'm here if you want to get anything off your chest, ever," she squeezes my arm.

Should I tell her about Greene?

Why not, it's only Tara.

"I'm actually seeing a psychiatrist," I whisper, checking nobody else in the vicinity can hear me. Not that they'd necessarily be surprised, it could very well be blamed on either of the two near-death experiences I wandered into.

She raises her eyebrows, "Shit, really? Since when?"

"Pretty much since we got back from the Philippines. I went a little off the rails, so Vincent called Dr Greene in,"

"Oh, Dr Greene? She's worked in the Hawks before, I recognise her name," Tara looks to the ceiling in thought before continuing.

"So, what has she given you to help? Medication?"

"Yeah, a strong dose of antidepressants. I've got some other shit for the side effects, they aren't very damn pretty," I shrug.

"What type of side effects? As though having to be on antidepressants in the first place isn't bad enough," she shakes her head.

"The usual. Nausea, mood swings, the odd black out from lightheadedness; although she's given me something to help with that," I sigh.

"Sounds like shit," she grimaces.

"But I guess it's supposed to stop me from committing suicide, so can't complain about that," I snicker.

I don't think she knows what to say. Maybe I shouldn't have just dropped that bomb.

"What time are you meant to be meeting Leo?" She changes the subject.

"8pm, why?" I tilt my head.

She turns her wrist, showing me the time on her watch.

7:50

"Jesus, I'd better go and decide whether I even want to talk to him," I force a chuckle, standing up from the bench.

I already know my answer for that.

"Good luck," she grins.

"Thanks, Tara,"

I need it.