TW - Violence. Mentions of suicide.

NOVA
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09/02/2003, 5am
Passi City
The Philippines
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When I've been in shock in the past, my heart has started beating out of my chest. A rapid thump, over and over again a million times per minute, threatening to pierce right through my skin.

Right now, standing in front of my hellish half-brother, my heart feels as though it's stopped dead.

"I'll talk," I whisper, stepping out from behind Leo. I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing, or if this is the right thing.

I just need answers.

Leo shoots me a worried glance, putting his arm out in front of me. "Don't do this," he shakes his head slowly.

"Don't stop her," Nicholas says, a smug grin on his face.

"You shut the fuck up, take a damn step towards us and I swear to God I'll blow your brains out." Leo seethes with another threat.

"I'll stay right here," the bastard shrugs nonchalantly.

Leo shoots me a weary glance, stepping backwards and pulling me with him. The cracks of dawn are starting to leak in though the wooden panels of the boarded window behind us.

I last saw Nicholas when he was fifteen years old, I was only seven. I can't remember our appearances ever being as alike as they are now, we both look exactly like Dad.

Knowing I share features with the devil is unnerving.

My hand snakes towards my S&W at my side, and I try to hide the way it's shaking over the metal. "Well?" I murmur. He's the one who wanted to talk, he can fucking start.

"I bet your wondering how I came into all of this, hm?" He grins, Leo tightens his grip around my arm.

"You're damn fucking right, I should've known you'd grow up to be the bastard you always were." I hiss.

"Don't test me, Nova." He reaches for his sleeve but halts, carefully putting his hands back at his sides.

"Don't you fucking test me, you piece of shit." I seethe, fingers brushing the body of my gun. I want to just kill him now.

Kill him.

"Look at you, all grown up." He tilts his head, that same wicked smirk he always had tugging at his lips. I don't say anything, Leo links his arm right around the side of my waist, guiding me as close as possible against him.

"Well, where should I start?" Nicholas sighs in a theatrical manner, pacing back and forth on the spot yet holding his gaze.

"Start with why. Why did you turn to this life, Nicholas? Mom and Dad gave you everything, you could've lived a normal-" I start.

"Don't you dare call that fucking bitch my Mom." He snaps, making me jolt a little.

I'm not usually scared of anything, I've been conditioned against fear since I was eight years old. If there's one thing I'm terrified of, one weakness I've always tried to conceal, it's my brother.

I can't let him see that, not now. I have to act defiant.

"Don't you dare speak about her that way," I seethe, rage simmering.

Despite what I found out about my Mom, those eight years of love she enveloped me in can't just erase themselves. She may have left, but nothing can convince me that I wasn't the light of her life at at least one point in time.

"Her and Frank are the reason I turned out this way. That piece of shit veteran caused my Mom to slit her fucking wrists. Why else do you think I've held a vendetta against the forces, are you really still that pathetic?" He sneers. He's using Dad's name as though he has absolutely no relation to him, like he's a stranger.

"You barely knew your fucking Mom, you've always been deranged and needed an outlet." I state, Leo leading us another step backwards.

"You don't know anything, Nova. My Mom wanted custody, Frank won and left her for that cunt you called your Mother." He grunts that horrible word.

"Because Annise was fucking schizophrenic, Nicholas. Dad had his reasons to leave her, he explained everything to me, more than you think I know. Do you really think she could have handed you a better damn opportunity of life than they did?" I snap.

Annise was severely impacted by her mental health issues. I know most of us suffer to some degree, but her schizophrenia was biological. My Dad left her after she apparently developed severe postpartum psychosis and threatened to drown Nicholas as a baby, he wanted to keep him safe.

That was all he ever wanted, yet Nic never seemed to understand that.

"She wanted you dead, Nicholas. That was why Dad left her, not because he met my Mom. He wanted to protect you," I murmur.

"You're a lying little bitch, that man couldn't protect a damn thing in his life if he tried," he hisses.

"He protected you, you fucking psychopath. You'd be dead if it wasn't for him," I seethe, voice slowly creeping up in pitch.

I'm trying to keep calm.

But I really fucking want him dead.

The footage of him beheading the innocent are playing through my mind. The things he did to me when I was just a little girl.

But, the desperation for answers is overriding my actions. Otherwise his throat would be slit by now.

"What do you really know about your Mother, Nova? You don't know half of it, where she came from." He raises his eyebrows.

What the fuck is he talking about?

"I-"

"-Turned out that Maria was an op herself before you were around. Just like all of you do, she took something away from me, my Mom."

Mom?

Mom was a special op?

What?

He could very damn well be lying, he always had a tendency for that.

"I was always an outsider in the 'family', Novella. They treasured you, their sweet precious daughter. I wanted to ruin you from the second you were born." He smirks, halting from his pace.

"Your actions will never be justified, Nicholas. You're the scum of the earth, regardless of what 'reasons' you give." I mumble.

"Ah, you're wrong. I'm ridding the scum of the earth, people like you. Special forces, claim to be heroes, but really? They just rob parts of your damn life, just like how Frank drove my Mom to suicide after his veteran days and Maria stole her place. That's how I found Altashih. A group who'd been affected in some way or another by groups like yours, and when I found out Daddy dearest had you all trained up? I had the perfect opportunity."

His tone is completely mocking, degrading.

"How did you know?" I whisper.

I thought my life had been covert since I joined Fleetwood, my Dad never told anybody about our training.

"I've always had a pair of eyes on you, Nova."

This can't be real. Maybe I've already been killed, maybe I haven't woken up from being knocked out cold.

Situations like this can't happen in reality.

"How-"

"You really thought I'd just walk away without some sort of revenge? You always were a pathetic cunt-"

"-you shut your goddamn fucking mouth." Leo interrupts him, fury in his voice. I feel him tense even more at my side, his grip around me only getting stronger with every word Nicholas says.

"Revenge for what? I was an innocent kid!" I snap, my voice cracking.

"You are the fucking spawn of that slut Maria. Everything was her fault, every path I took in the direction of crime was because of what her and Frank did."

"You really are a fucking psychopath; always were, always will be." I seethe.

"I've done more good in the world than you could ever accomplish."

"By turning to killing innocent people? People who had no goddamn involvement with the forces? Tell me how that's doing something 'good', you fucking lunatic." I can't stop my voice from raising anymore, attempted calmness fading away.

"It was a lure. A way to get you pricks out here, and it fucking worked. We've been working to overthrow the Filipino government because we knew damn well that they've worked with Fleetwood in the past. It was the perfect plan, we knew they'd turn to your organisation for help."

He really knows everything.

All about Fleetwood, all about my career. Every single step I've made since I was eight years old has been observed by murderous eyes.

"Why Fleetwood?"

"You've all got quite the reputation for taking people out. Those families don't let that slide easily. I know very fucking well you've got some of our group imprisoned in the US, and I want them out." He snaps.

"That'll never happen, you fucking bastard." Leo speaks through gritted teeth.

Nicholas pulls his gaze from me and raises his eyebrows at Leo.

"Leo Antonio Hendrix, should've known you'd be broken out,"

Now I wrap my arm tighter around Leo's.

"Little brother, shot to death in an attack. Nolan over there explained everything, Tillman mall. I remember hearing about that, y'know? I had a nice scotch whilst the news ran on in the background. Shame."

I glance up at Leo, his sharp jawline tensed to the degree that it could slice clean through skin.

"I'll kill you if you don't fucking shut up, Nicholas," I hiss, gaze firing back to the bastard.

He just chuckles under his breath, shaking his head. "You know, it's a shame you killed Jed. I knew he'd plotted to get rid of you a while ago, the plan didn't work out."

"He was never getting out of here alive," I seethe, unknowingly digging my fingernails into Leo's arm as my rage boils.

"You've grown confident, developed a mind of your own. I thought I'd taught you enough lessons when you were younger to realise you will never be above me, Nova." He grins.

I can't answer because something springs to my mind, almost sending my vision careening off to the side.

Something he said earlier.

"You don't know anything, Nova. My Mom wanted custody, Frank won and left her for that cunt you called your Mother."

Called.

Past tense.

Sweat runs down the back of my neck, my heart now racing in my chest as opposed to its previous stop. I start violently shaking, hand wrapping right around the body of my pistol.

"Called," I whisper under my breath.

Nicholas raises his eyebrows, Leo glimpses down at me.

"Hm-"

"What the fuck did you mean by I 'called' her my mother?" My voice shakes.

Nicholas' face morphs into nothingness, a completely expressionless gaze.

My ears ring, I could be sick.

He slices the silence with a low, psychotic chuckle.

"What I mean is, she's been in the Tennessee river since 1985." He says.

My knees completely give way as I collapse onto them, hand clamped over my chest as I struggle to breathe. Leo drops down next to me, linking his arms under my shoulders and pulling me into him.

I can't stop the guttural scream that erupts from deep in my throat. I scream with the agony of realising my Mother has been dead all this time.
I cry with the torture of knowing Nicholas killed her.

The walls practically shake from my shrieks as I fold forward, pressing my forehead to the floor and sobbing in denial.

Leo wraps his arms around the my waist, leaning his head into my back. I can even feel him quivering.

I want to die.

I want somebody to save my life by blowing my fucking brains out.

I can't live with this knowledge.

But I definitely can't die without revenge. Not now. Not ever. That wasn't what Dad trained me to do. That wasn't the way I was raised. If Dad was here, he'd kill Nicholas himself.

"Shut up, Nova. It had to be done, I'm surprised you didn't figure it out yourself since you're so smart now. I had it all organised with my group at the time. She went out for groceries? Never came back? I had it arranged for her to be killed. Took that wedding ring off her finger and tossed it into our yard. Thinking now, I could've probably earned a good sum of dollar's from it." Nicholas mocks.

"Why, why? Why did you fucking take her away from me?" I yell, pain tearing through my words.

He just shake his head with a nonchalant sigh, "You know I had my reasons."

No.

I force myself out of my crumpled heap of grief, raising my head to look at him. I've been through denial, now I'm deep in anger.

My hand flies towards my thigh and lunges for my gun, fingers finding the trigger faster than ever before as I crack a bullet from the barrel instantaneously.

I know it hits him as he grunts and staggers backwards, but I don't know where. My vision is blurred by red, a red deeper than the boiling pits of hell.

He whacks into an old cabinet with a thud and a hand clutched against the edge of his waist, but he's still standing. Not good enough. Never good enough.

I throw myself to my feet, hooking up my knife and yanking out of Leo's grasp as I lunge for him.

"Nova-" He tries to pull me back but I'm too swift, already bolting across the room.

My fingernails pierce the handle of the blade as I make a slash at Nicholas. It cuts the side of his neck, not deep enough.

He's unarmed, he proved that earlier.

I have to kill him. There'll never be a good enough chance for such sweet revenge than there is now.

I swipe at him again, he grabs my wrist and battles the blade away from his throat. The blade slips downwards as I slice it across his chest.

My strength is maximised. Rage, vengeance, adrenaline.

Leo has barely had the chance to comprehend what the fuck is happening, he jumps to his feet despite his injured leg.

I pummel my knee into Nicholas' stomach, he spins me and shoves me back against the wall with a thud, pinning me and attempting to wrestle the knife from my deathly grip.

Everything is happening so fucking fast, yet I feel as though the revelation about my Moms fate was hours ago.

Leo lunges at him from behind, wrapping his arms around his neck in a chokehold and yanking him away from me.

I break free of his hold.

Now is my chance, he's right fucking there. Leo is letting me have the final blow. Nicholas isn't fighting the grasp anymore. He's playing with the sleeve of his shirt, completely unthreatened. Accepting his fate.

I want him to look terrified, I crave to see the fear in his eyes before I drain the life out of them.

I take one last look at my brother's blank gaze before I slowly pace in their direction.

"You're getting exactly what you deserve," I whisper, halting in front of him, brandishing my blade as he fumbles with his the cuff of his sleeve.

I look down a second too late. "No, Nova. You are." He says.

It all happens too fast.

He rips that something out from under his sleeve, plunging it right into my chest. It lodges for a few seconds, twisting before tearing out. The pain is there, then it vanishes.

I stagger backwards, knife dropping from my grasp as I hit against the wall and slide down to the floor. Nicholas has a grin on his face, and a blade stained with my blood in his hand.

Leo's eyes widen in complete shock-horror as he stares at me from over Nicholas' shoulder. Everything slows down, the world comes to a standstill.

I hesitantly gaze down, a river of deep red gushing out from the right side of my chest as I press a pathetic hand over it. 

I take a breath, only to splutter as I try to reach it.

Leo bellows some inhumane sound, yanking the blade from Nicholas' grasp and driving it into his stomach before launching him off to the side and flying towards me.

"Leo-" I manage to wheeze, coughing on my words and reaching for him with one hand.

"You're going to be absolutely fine, okay? You're going to be alright," he urges, voice shaking in uncertainty as he presses both hands over the puncture with every ounce of strength he has.

I can't feel the pain again yet, but really don't think I am going to be alright. And Leo knows it too. I can see it in his eyes.

My lip quivers as I reach my hands over his, squeezing them.

I see movement from behind him as Nicholas pushes himself off the floor despite his injuries; holding the lodged knife in place to stem his bleeding and making a staggering run for it.

"Leo, please don't let him get away." I splutter, every beat of my heart sending more blood pulsating out of my chest and spewing between his fingers.

"Fuck him. I'm not leaving you, not a chance in hell, Nova." He shakes his head, pressing his forehead against mine as he pressures the wound.

"I'm going to die, this time." I whisper, a few tears unknowingly slipping from my eyes as I lean my head backwards.

"No you're not. You're not fucking dying on me now Nova, not after everything we've been though, okay?!" He yells.

I think he's trying to reassure himself, because I am absolutely going to die here.

"Leo- I really don't think I can survive this-" I say quietly through my shaking speech.

"Don't fucking say that!" His voice breaks, tears suddenly rolling down his own cheeks.

I've been kicked into the grave by my own brother. I try to stay calm, the harder my heart beats the more blood that comes out. But I'm struggling.

Leo rips off a part of his shirt, fumbling it under his hands and pressing it into the gaping hole. It won't help. Nothing will help. Nothing is right, everything is so, so wrong.

This isn't how it was meant to happen. This isn't how I was meant to go out.

There's noise and commotion from outside the room, yet I can't make out what it is. My hearing is slowly falling fuzzy.

"Nova, Nova! Look at me, you have to hold on and stay awake alright?!" Leo cries out, voice trembling.

I didn't even realise my head was rolling off to rest on my shoulder.

There's so much fucking blood, it's everywhere. I don't think I've ever witnessed somebody survive after losing this much blood.

"Leo-" I murmur, he nods against my forehead whilst attempting to plug the puncture. "Did you really jam my gun on purpose that time in Santa Elena?" I force a weakened smile.

He lets out a shaky laugh, "yeah, maybe I did. Keep talking to me, Nova. You need to stay awake." He urges, still pressing his entire body weight into the stab.

"I knew it, you prick-" I sniff before attempting to speak again. "You have to promise me something."

"No, don't start doing that, I don't need to promise you anything. If I can promise you one thing, it's that I'm not letting you die, Nova." He shakes his head desperately.

"You have to swear to me you'll get Nicholas, one way or another," I cough, squeezing his hand over my chest.

"No, I won't fucking swear it! You'll get him your goddamn self when you're recovered!" His words are slowly deteriorating into complete panic.

"Do it, Leo. For me, please, " I beg, hanging onto awareness by a fraying thread.

"I'd do it for you, I'd do anything for you but I don't have to, I swear you're going to be fine," he whispers shakily, breath brushing against my face. Battered lips on my forehead.

Kiss me goodbye, Leo.

I hum something completely incoherent, head lolling off to the side again. If I close my eyes, there's a certainty they won't open again.

Leo starts frantically panicking whilst trying to stem the bleeding, bellowing out for help. The pain begins to fester itself. Agony. Complete agony. Pain that makes death seem like a blessing.

There's a thump of footsteps that vibrates the ground below as some figures sprint into the room, dashing over to us. I can't make out who it is, whether it's Altashih or our allies. Whoever it is, I hope they shoot me.

Get me out of this pain, please.

My vision is clouded by the time I realise there's a chaotic commotion now occurring in the room, any noises falling upon my deafening ears.

My eyelids droop, and the last sound I hear is Leo screaming my name.