Chapter 17

"Heard you totally schooled Lincoln over that damn bet." Austin told me with a laugh, reaching over to clink his beer with mine.

"You knew about the bet?" I raised my eyebrows, not showing amusement yet.

Austin's face instantly dropped as he folded back in on himself. "Well I mean... I uh... I figured you wouldn't..." He trailed off, clenching his jaw as he pulled his beer back towards him.

"You're fine, Jonah's the jackass." I rolled my eyes, suddenly not having it in me to laugh anymore. "Well this blows, some birthday party?"

"Yeah where's Jesse?" Austin frowned, trying to just move on from the whole 'bet' conversation.

"Dunno." I shrugged, looking around as I yawned.

It was just us, his parents, my dad, and my granny.

Lovely turn out...

"Well hey there's Kade, Jesse can't be far behind yeah?" Austin said, pointing towards the patio doors as Kade walked outside.

He grinned at me when he saw me and I swear I nearly swooned. He was wearing khakis and a pink short sleeve shirt, looking absolutely amazing. Wow.

"Hey! Where's Jesse?" My dad called from the grill, glancing over at me and then at Kade.

"Uh... Got caught up with dance stuff, so I'm representing the Armstrongs today, I guess." Kade laughed, walking over to my dad. "Need any help?"

"That's awful nice of you to come." My dad grinned. "Kade, this is my mom, Sue."

I tuned out as my dad made the introductions, taking a sip of my beer and wondering how long I was going to stay awake.

"What'd you get up to last night? You look beat." Austin said, looking over at me.

"Didn't sleep at all." I shook my head.

"Wild night out?" He laughed, raising his eyebrows.

I shook my head again, taking another sip.

Austin sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I wish I did. Played Monopoly with my parents."

"Rough time." I told him, sitting up as Kade walked over.

"What's up dudes." Kade said, sitting down at the table with us. "Calm down, it looks like you're having too much fun over here."

"Birthday girl can barely stay awake and it's not exactly the youngest crowd ever over there." Austin laughed, leaning forwards. "So how come Jesse isn't here? Aren't you two like, inseparable?"

Kade sighed, making eye contact with me.

"She didn't wanna come?"

"Still with mom, I dunno." Kade said softly.

I just nodded, putting the empty beer bottle on the table. I stood up and took a deep breath. "I'm going inside."

"Bella!" My dad called after me as I walked across the patio.

I just ignored him, kicking off my Birkenstocks as I walked inside and headed straight for the fridge.

Not a moment later, Kade was standing there too as I ate straight from a pint of chocolate caramel ice cream.

"Everything alright?" Kade asked, leaning against the counter.

"Not enjoying myself." I mumbled, holding out the spoon for him with a big chunk of ice cream on it.

Kade made a big show of taking the ice cream off the spoon, trying to act all seductive. And it worked, somewhat. He succeeded in making me laugh and his face instantly broke into a huge smile.

"Success." He winked as I took the spoon back.

"Yeah." I shrugged, unable to keep the smile off my face. "Thanks."

Kade leaned forwards, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.

"I'll make today worth it, I promise." Kade said softly.

"My dad's gonna get suspicious." I laughed, taking another bite of ice cream.

"Told him I was getting more ice." Kade shrugged. "No idea where the ice is, he'll cut me some slack."

I sighed, leaning into him.

Was it crazy to say I didn't want to leave anymore? Going away to school would mean going away from Kade...

And while I was going to be in Ann Arbor, who knew where he was?

Everyone thought he was in Kalamazoo at Grand Valley, but he told me he transferred schools and nobody knew where. I knew he was smart, which meant he's probably at some big name school... Like on the west coast or something, living it up on the beach with tons of hot blondes on surf boards. Was that just a stereotype or was that real life?

Either way... We were going to be so far away...

Maybe I shouldn't be getting used to this. Maybe I shouldn't so easily find comfort and happiness in him...

"Hey, someone's at the door." I said, pulling away from Kade at the sound of a knock.

I glanced out of the window and my heart skipped a beat. There were two cop cars outside of our house. "Kade, go get my dad." I said quickly, putting down the ice cream as I walked to the door.

"What?"

"Get my dad!" I said, probably a bit too forcefully, as my heart started pounding.

What was this about?

Maybe I shouldn't answer the door. I had a beer. I'm 19.

How could they know?

Did we do something last night?

Was Peter wrong that we could stay in his guest house?

Did they think we broke in?

Were his parents pressing charges?

I opened up the door, almost unable to see straight from how hard my heart was pounding.

"Hi." I managed to force a smile on my face. I almost blurted 'I didn't do it', but pure fright stopped me from saying anything.

But the person didn't say anything so I glanced up from the floor, doing a double take at the face in front of me.

"MOM!" I shrieked, literally jumping into her arms.

"Jesus, girl, taking me down!" My mom laughed, stumbling back as I nearly knocked her over. "Happy birthday, baby."

"What's going on in here?" My dad's voice sounded distant and far away as I squeezed my mom, trying to tether myself to reality and not some strange alternate universe where she was home in a dream.

"Jennifer?" My dad asked with a laugh. "Holy shit!"

And all of a sudden, his arms were wrapped around the two of us and I could've cried at the disgustingly sentimental moment of the day.

The rest of the day was a blur of hugs and tears and questions. Apparently my mom was home for good, like literally home for good. She had accepted a job at a local trauma center hospital as head of trauma surgery. She was back.

~*~*~

"Tell me everything, Bella." My mom said softly, sitting down on my bed next to me, smelling like her shampoo that made me feel like a 4 year old again.

"Whew, that's a lot." I laughed, the adrenaline of having her back covering for the fact that I'd been awake for over 24 hours now.

"Your dad mentioned a certain notebook he found..." My mom trailed off, a knowing smile on her face as she stroked my hair.

My eyes widened and I know my reddening cheeks gave it all away, but she just laughed and shook her head.

"He knows... What it means?" I whispered, my heart starting to pound in my chest.

"No, darling. He was telling me how much he liked that you had always been paying attention to his players, but the name Harry Lanright sparked a memory of a story of a mini-van..." My mom trailed off with a laugh.

"Oh jesus." I shook my head, covering my face with my hands.

"What does Jesse think about you and Kade? I'm surprised to see his name on the list." My mom said softly. I carefully looked up at her again and my heart melted at the careful look on her face.

Was this real? Was she really home? Was I really sitting here having a heart to heart with my mom?

"Nobody knows." I said honestly. "I mean, a few of our older friends might suspect something but Jesse doesn't know a thing. We haven't really... That's kind of a tricky subject."

"What's going on?" My mom's question was so tender I nearly started sobbing again.

"I dunno, she just... The age difference is really showing lately and I just... She was dating this really shitty guy and we just kind of drifted because of that. But also her mom's in rehab again, which is why Kade is taking a semester off and just... You know how weird she gets talking about her mom considering..." I trailed off, not wanting to get too into the details about how much I missed my mom. Not in a homesick way, just in a way that I hated she was always gone.

"Considering yours is basically nonexistent." My mom filled in the gaps.

"But anyways..." I moved on quickly, not wanting to get into that can of worms just yet. "Jesse and I... The guy dumped her and we kind of started to hit our groove again, but Marian is doing better and apparently Jesse went to visit her this weekend and she didn't tell me, so I feel like things are weird again but I have no idea."

"And you don't think she might've found out about you and Kade?"

"Nah. Not a chance." I shook my head. "And I don't really know if there is a "me and Kade"... We haven't really... Besides just agreeing we weren't sleeping with anyone else there's not... That was more a of a convenience thing for condoms rather than feelings."

My mom's eyes widened. "Bella..."

"IUD, Jen." I reminded her, putting my hand on hers. "Sorry, is that too much? Last time we talked about boys in person I was telling you that I was scared to kiss someone because I had braces..."

"It's not too much at all. You know my policy..."

"There's no such thing as sharing too much and you don't want secrets, yeah yeah yeah." I laughed, leaning back against the pillows. "Ugh, but I don't know... It's so uncomplicated with Kade right now and I just... I don't want to complicate things."

"Do you like him?" My mom asked softly. "Like... Do you "like-like" him as the kids say?"

A smile broke on my face and I nodded, my cheeks flushing. "Yeah, mom, I really do. He's just... He gets me." I whispered, turning onto my side. "And he's funny and he's smart and he just understands why I want to get away from all of this and..."

I trailed off, my heart jumping into my throat as I stared my hands, not daring to move in case my mom caught on to what I was saying.

"And he plays soccer and I..." I tried to cover it up, but now I just sounded like I was purposely rambling and I knew my mom could see right through it.

"Get away from all of this?" My mom asked softly. "What does that mean?"

"It's nothing. I just, soccer has been kind of stressful lately and dad's been on my case about a lot but I... It's nothing, honestly." I offered my mom a smile, my stomach twisting when I realized how much her return threw a wrench in my plans.

How the hell was I supposed to run away now? With her having just come back into my life?

"Besides, Kade's going back to wherever he goes to college as soon as his mom comes home next weekend. And that's that." I shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. "And it's over."

"You don't know that..."

"We basically said as much. Just, in the time we have left..." I trailed off, realizing that the "five week" deadline we'd been discussing just last night really was next weekend when his mom returned. No way would he stick around when he had an entire life waiting for him where he actually belonged...

"Bella, do you love him?" My mom asked softly, going back to smoothing my hair back.

My heart jumped into my throat again and I took a deep breath, sitting up.

"As much as I'm really loving this, I haven't slept since yesterday morning so I think I'm going to hit the hay. But I'm really glad you're here. Best birthday present ever." I said with a smile, squeezing her hand.

My mom sighed but took the hint anyways.

"Tomorrow's Sunday... How about a trip for the free samples at costco and then hit the farmer's market on the way back?"

"I have a soccer game at 8am but I'm down after that." I grinned, loving the idea of our old family tradition. "Absolutely."

"Goodnight, baby." My mom placed a soft kiss to my forehead.