(vol ii.)—
TWENTY THREE: BOGO SCARVES AND BELOVED FUNKO POPS

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imessage ━━ private messages
[ 02 participants ]

leslie knope . . . sarah
ice clown  . . .  isaac

leslie knope
is scott with you

ice clown
hello to you too

leslie knope
no

is scott with you

ice clown
it's not your birthday anymore you're
not allowed to be rude smh

leslie knope
isaac i can not even begin to tell you
how little an effect that sentiment has
on me

IS! SCOTT! WITH! YOU!

ice clown
NO! HE! IS! NOT!

i'm with allison and scott's at home
asleep

leslie knope
omg tell allison i said hi 🥰

ice clown
oh so her you're nice to

leslie knope
her i like

ice clown
ouch

leslie knope
that's my gf!!!

ice clown
she said she'd kill me if i sent this
picture to anyone but it would be
worth it

leslie knope
hey if i had to pick a way to die it'd be
by allison shooting me with her bow!

ice clown
i read her that message and she audibly
said "aww"

am i wrong to be concerned

leslie knope
yes very

anyways why is scott asleep it's the
middle of the day and he never naps

ice clown
melissa had a late shift last night and
her car wouldn't start so she had to call
scott to come and get her

then he had to get up for school like
three hours later and tonight he has to
work so melissa convinced him to try
to go to sleep for a while before then

leslie knope
aw well now i feel bad about calling
him four times

ice clown
he slept through all of them?? geez
is he in a coma or something

leslie knope
shut up bully he's tired

anyways when he wakes up and you
see him can you tell him to please call
me when he gets a chance?

ice clown
is this another dog related emergency
because you know i've kind of proven
myself useful in that area recently

leslie knope
no dummy it's not an emergency and
thankfully it's not dog related

it's just my birthday present from him
arrived today and i need to call and thank
him audibly a million times because it's
the most beautiful thing i've ever seen

ice clown
okay now i'm convinced he really did
get you robert pattinson

leslie knope
no but this is a close second

and anyways don't you know what it
is?? i just assumed you were with him
when he picked it out because you two
were probably already shopping for his
and his towels or something

ice clown
as fun of a visual as that is, no i wasn't
with him when he picked it out

and he wouldn't tell me either because
he was convinced i would tell you and
ruin the surprise so all he told me was
that it was perfect for you

leslie knope
it's nice how much he trusts you

ice clown
isn't it?

so what did he get you

leslie knope

ice clown
oh my god it really is perfect for you

leslie knope

i'm literally going to CRY this is the
single coolest thing in the world

i put him on my shelf on my victory
wall right next to the 1st place trophy
from the dance competition last month

ice clown
i thought your victory wall was only
reserved for awards

leslie knope
hey man sam wilson is finally captain
america and the ugly racists can't do
anything to stop it

plus i've been trying to buy one of these
for like a month but they're always sold
out and i kind of assumed i'd never get
to have him

i'd consider those victories and therefore
he deserves a spot on the victory wall

ice clown
can't argue with that

so i'm guessing this is the best birthday
present you've ever gotten then?

leslie knope
easily

i'll never ever receive a better one

ice clown
well that's unfortunate

leslie knope
how so

ice clown
because i sent you a late birthday
present that should be getting there
in a few days and i kinda hoped it
would be your favorite

leslie knope
oh my god?? you bought me a birthday
present??

ice clown
i mean

isn't that what friends do

leslie knope
yes it is

which is why i feel better about buying
you a late birthday present as well

ice clown
seriously?

leslie knope
yep

i've been looking for one for the
past week since you and scott didn't
tell me until the DAY OF that it was
your birthday so it has to be late :/

i finally found it yesterday and i took
it to the post office after school

ice clown
i can't believe you got me a birthday
present

leslie knope

ice clown
ok point taken

also what on earth is my contact
picture

leslie knope
oh i took it when i went to dinner with
you, scott, and allison when i stayed
with you guys over the summer

i did it to make you look stupid so i
could post it and embarrass you but
you ended up looking cute instead
so my plan failed 🙄

ice clown
aww you think i'm cute?

leslie knope
isn't that what i just said

ice clown
well thanks

i think you're pretty cute too

leslie knope
agreed i'm a fox

ice clown
nvm i take it back you're annoying

leslie knope
also agreed i'm very annoying

ice clown
how am i supposed to insult you when
you just end up agreeing with me

leslie knope
why would you wanna insult someone
as cute as me anyway

ice clown
wow what a great point

so what present did you get me :)

leslie knope
now what makes you think i would
answer that

ice clown
because i asked nicely

leslie knope
then allow me to answer nicely

sorry but fuck no baaaby

ice clown
how exactly is that nicely

leslie knope
what i said sorry

ice clown
please tell me what you got me

i'll be your best friend

leslie knope
first of all i can not believe you would
replace scott like that ?? rude

second of all i have three best friends i
don't need any more

so in conclusion

no

ice clown
if you tell me what you got me then
i'll tell you what i got you

leslie knope
or we pick secret option number three
where you tell me what you got me and
i cancel the shipment and exchange the
gift i got you for a bucky funko pop to
match my sam one!

ice clown
i don't think i like secret option
number three very much

leslie knope
fine

so if i tell you what i got you then
you'll really tell me what you got
me right?

ice clown
that's what i said

and i am no liar

leslie knope
well you did say you're good at cup
pong which was a lie so...

ice clown
never mind i'm just gonna throw your
present in the lake instead

leslie knope
FINE

ok well i was at h&m and i found this
hoodie

and well since i call you ice clown i
thought it was perfect so i texted scott
and asked what size you wore

oh and they were having a buy one
get one half off sale on a lot of their
stuff so i also got you a scarf, because
well you know

ice clown
huh

it looks like we had the same idea

leslie knope
isaac if you got me a scarf i'm selling
it on ebay

ice clown
oh my god i meant the parks and rec
theme

leslie knope
oh okay that's better

so what is it!!

ice clown
well you know that book that leslie
wrote about the history of pawnee

leslie knope
pawnee: the greatest town in america

yes i'm somewhat familiar

ice clown
well i found it on amazon and i thought
it was something you'd like

and it came with a free knope 2012 pin

leslie knope
um!! you thought right!!

i can't believe i'm gonna own leslie
knope's book

maybe god is real

ice clown
you know that leslie knope didn't
actually write it due to her not being
real right

leslie knope
please don't ruin this for me

ice clown
sorry

thanks for my hoodie and scarf by
the way

leslie knope
so you really like the hoodie?

ice clown
of course

you didn't even have to get me anything

leslie knope
well neither did you

but i appreciate it

ice clown
so do i

thank you, sar

leslie knope
no problem, ice clown

ice clown
so

i would like a rematch at cup pong

leslie knope
YOU'RE ON LOSER

AUTHOR'S NOTE
ok i'm actually so happy with this chapter!! it was really fun to write and i'm very proud of all the birthday presents i came up with (especially the samcap funko pop because my birthday's in a week and that's what i want so i'm projecting lol anyways!!)

     also omg clueless hit 10k reads!! thank u guys so much for reading and i hope you're enjoying 💖💓 and if you're not enjoying and you're thinking of giving up on this fic i promise i have big stuff planned out (especially for act three hmm) so it'll probably get better i swear shsj.