(vol i.)—
FOURTEEN: WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER

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imessage  ━━  private messages
[ 02 participants ]

sarah  . . .  well duh
eyesack . . . isaac

eyesack
i realize i didn't say this on instagram
so congratulations on your win

sarah
i think you have the wrong number

eyesack
you literally have me in your contacts

sarah
yes which is how i know you have
the wrong number

isaac lahey would never be caught
dead complimenting me

eyesack
did you ever consider that maybe
that's why i'm doing it in private

sarah
nice try buddy

but i am perfectly aware that isaac
lahey would also never WANT to
compliment me

eyesack
now why would you say that

sarah
the unfortunate circumstances of my
knowing you well enough allow me
to presume

eyesack
has anyone ever told you that your
choice of vocabulary is insanely
pretentious

sarah
okay now this sounds more like
the isaac i know

also in my defense i'm not going to
college so i need something to assure
people of my smarts especially since
i live in a college town

hence my pretentious word choices

eyesack
not going to college doesn't mean
you're not smart

sarah
it would be a big help if you could
convince the numerous teachers who
tell me i'm wasting my potential of
this mindset

but thank you i actually agree with
you for once

eyesack
there's a first time for everything

sarah
and thanks for congratulating me on
my win

i'm sorry i doubted your sincerity
or whatever

eyesack
did you just agree with me, thank
me, and apologize to me all in the
same conversation?

ladies and gentlemen i do believe the
world is coming to an end

sarah
don't act so surprised

i may detest you but i am a big enough
person to admit when i'm wrong

especially because it's such a rare
occurrence

eyesack
if you say so

so are you satisfied with your trophy

sarah
immensely

it's my new best friend. sam and
darcy mean nothing to me.

eyesack
wow

that's a little harsh

sarah

i reserve the right to be harsh sir
look at how cute fitzy is

( AN: for my sake we r going to pretend that
this is not the m countdown trophy lol thx )

eyesack
did you seriously name your trophy

sarah
yes

fitzy is short for fitzwilliam

eyesack
okay

allow me to rephrase my question

did you seriously name your trophy
after mr. darcy

sarah
i don't know why you're acting so
surprised

you're well enough acquainted with
me to know that this is most certainly
not out of character for me

eyesack
touché

in other news i think this whole civility
thing is going to work out okay

sarah
don't go getting any ideas of this being
a regular occurrence

i'm just in a good mood from my win
and you just so happened to be on the
receiving end of it for the time being

eyesack
well whatever your reasons are i'm
sure this will make scott happy

sarah
good

that's the only reason i agreed to this
in the first place

eyesack
yeah

same here

sarah
do my eyes deceive me or did we just
agree on something again???

eyesack
you're right

it's starting to get scary

sarah
the devil must be ice skating

eyesack
come again

sarah
well since i've known you, i always
say the two of us would only get along
when hell freezes over

hence the devil ice skating

eyesack
ahh

that explains it

sarah
go ahead and tell me how clever i am,
i don't mind

eyesack
sarah you're very clever

sarah
aw

thanks i know

AUTHOR'S NOTE
i'm majorly displeased with this chapter ending but at the time of writing this i had just finished reading pride & prejudice so i my thoughts were occupied with elizabeth and mr. darcy <333

edit: omg that original author's note ^ is like three months old i had more than enough time to rewrite this but i'm lazy so instead u get this 🕺🏼