(vol i.)—
EIGHT: FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB

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darcy has created a new group chat
darcy has named the chat girlz n motion

darcy has added sarah, allison, lydia, kira,
and malia to girlz n motion

malia
oh god

is this another group chat

sarah
it would appear so

malia
hey i know you

sarah
hey i know you too!!!

darcy what is this

darcy
good question

so you know how men are the worst?

allison
yeah

lydia
everyone knows that

sarah
i'm with you so far

darcy
right

no offense to your friends or anything
but the other group chat is kind of a
sausage fest

sarah
wow darcy

it's kinda rude of you to refer to isaac
and stiles as my friends

darcy
sweetie the adults are talking

sarah
i'm older than you

darcy
anyways i felt that we needed a place
to cleanse ourselves of men

kira
i can always appreciate girl talk!!!

malia
yes and i can always appreciate being
away from men

sarah
cheers i'll drink to that

allison
ok first rule of anti-men club

sarah
... we don't talk about anti-men club?

lydia
is that also the second rule

allison
do i look like tyler durden to you

malia
who

allison
anyways

i'd like to propose that the first rule of
anti-men club is that we don't talk about
men

darcy
survey says?

lydia
sounds good to me

kira
yep!

malia
sure why not

sarah
are two dimensional men included in this

allison
hm good point

ok fine we can talk about fictional men

darcy
that's probably good for sarah

i don't know if she can survive that
long without talking about sam wilson
or mr. darcy

sarah

and are we just supposed to
pretend you aren't also in love
with mr. darcy

darcy
and what about it? we've already
established that i'm a hypocrite

malia
haha if they got married her name
would be darcy darcy

kira
ok you're the cutest person ever

allison
setting you two up was peak genius
energy on my part

lydia
wait a minute wait a minute

you guys like pride & prejudice???

darcy
we rewatch it together every saturday
night

sarah
we have jane bennet protection squad
hoodies that we made ourselves in
ninth grade

darcy
we have special edition copies of
the book and the movie

sarah
when i was eleven i glued a picture
of mr. darcy's face onto a cardboard
cutout of harry styles

malia
what

allison
what

sarah
...what

darcy
to answer your question yes we like
pride & prejudice

lydia
oh my god

finally

i've been trying to get these three to
watch it for ages but they never have

darcy
allison! malira! i expected better from
you

malia
did you just address kira and i as one
person

kira
i'm sorry :( i just haven't gotten
around to it!

allison
yeah and if you're gonna judge us you
have to judge scott for never having
seen star wars

sarah
i have

plenty of times

it's your turn now

malia
when can our turn be over

sarah
when you've seen the movie

darcy
yeah so you might wanna get on that

allison
they took it off of netflix what are we
supposed to do

sarah
ok girlies i can fix this

don't make any plans for the saturday
that we'll be there

i'll bring my dvd or darcy will bring
hers and the six of us can watch it
together!!!

lydia
wait yes

we can do it at my house!

darcy
oh my god suddenly i'm so hyped
about this stupid fucking lacrosse
trip

sarah
wow

so glad you're appreciative of the
invite i've extended to you

darcy
come on sarah

you can't tell me you actually expected
me to be excited about sports

sarah
,,, fair enough

so movie night?

kira
sounds fun!! i'm excited to watch

malia
sure

if kira goes then i'll go too

allison
hm maybe

what's in it for me

lydia
keira knightley

allison
ok i'll be there

AUTHOR'S NOTE
perfectly aware that i'm talking about pride & prejudice way too much but idc i have very lowkey based some elements of this fic off of p&p so i'm doing it on purpose!!!

     also completely unrelated but i was reading an article about daniel sharman and they said he was best known as isaac lahey in the second, third, and fourth seasons of teen wolf..... ma'am he was not in season four pls get your information straight 🙄 ok this was unimportant it's just something that bothered me lol.