I have no idea what's going on with chapter twenty, each time I check, it's always unpublished. please let me know if you are seeing it or not :)
btw, please comment & share, engaging in COG means a lot to me. and thank you in advance for 400 reads.❤️

022| 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥

~K O M I S O L A~

I left my phone packet untouched.

Staring at nothing.

Until Mother decided to come in after knocking. I chose not to answer.

She never entered my room.

Use me.

"Good evening, ma." I greeted as it was very necessary to. My parents may be rich, but it doesn't mean they lost their Yòrubá culture.

"'misola," Mother called, as calmly and patiently as she could. "Did you see the phone I got you?"

I glanced at the phone packet beside me. "Thank you ma."

"You're starting therapy tomorrow. Everyday after school."

When life throws two forms of therapy at you, accept none.

"I don't need therapy." I shook my head.

Why did everybody think I needed therapy?

I was okay. I was. Nothing was wrong with me. I was fine.

Liar.

"You're not fine, 'misola." Mother saw right through me. "I want to help you as your mother because that's the only thing I can do to make up for everything that has happened to you."

"What has happened to me?" I feigned ignorance.

Be my friend and I'll be your therapy.

"Your brother's coming back."

Time stopped and I froze. My ears went deaf and my heart stopped for a moment. Everything stopped.

"And I want you to be fine before he comes back." Mother continued.

Meanwhile, it was getting hard to breathe.

"I know how you are around men..."

I can't breathe.

My breathing became constricted, it felt like my chest was being asphyxiated.

I opened my mouth to suck in air but nothing was helping.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

"You can't be like that around your brother. Davies has changed. You have to forgive him."

I can't breathe.

My med...

"Mother, I can't breathe. My med..." I croaked out, eyes welling up with hot tears.

I could never get used to my panic attacks.

"I need to teach you these things, Komi. It's not bad. It'll help you."

"Komisola, are you okay?" Mother asked, worriedly, running over to where I was.

"My medication!" I yelled out frantically. My vision was blurry with tears and I couldn't close my mouth because there was no other way to breathe.

"What do you mean, your medication?"

"Please. Just help me get them. They're in my bag." I choked on my words.

Mother ran over to my table and roughly zipped open my bag, she brought a small white plastic bottle and read across it for a moment.

"What are you using Xanax to do?"

"Just... give me the drugs."

"Take," Mother handed them over to me once she got to the bed. "Do you need water?"

I didn't answer her and struggled to open the bottle. After opening it, I discovered an empty bottle.

Shit.

"O ma ti tan[It has finished]," Mother cried out in panic. "Oya, calm down. Breathe in, breathe out."

I did as she said, breathing in and out.

"Breathe in, breathe out."

"Breathe in, breathe out."

She rubbed my chest with one hand and my back with the other. Her actions were hesitant. She didn't what to do.

"Since when did you start having panic attacks?!" She cried out again, voice filled with more panic. "Jade! Bring some water abi... I don't even know what to do!"

That was the last thing I heard before I lost consciousness.

Thirty minutes later, I woke up with my head heavy and feeling like it was being hammered. I sat up on my bed, the first thing my eyes catching sight of was my empty medication bottle.

I stood up and decided to go for a run. Probably not my best option since the worms in stomach protested instantly at the thought and my level of energy was probably at minus fifteen.

I threw on a white hoodie and a pair of black joggers. Few minutes later when I got downstairs, the huge space called the living room was void of persons.

I left the house without a word to anyone.

"Maybe it's haphephobia. You're haphephobic."

And I began running.

And kept running. And kept running. And kept running. Till I slumped.

~•~

~H A N N I E L~

"Principal Matthews and Mr Jarah are coming!" Someone shouted immediately and I swear, it was so fun seeing the way everyone would return to their seats, wear their blazers, knot their ties with godspeed and hide their phones all in the name of the principal's entrance.

But trust me, that man hardly ever smiled.

My first day in CH, when I was called to his office, his eyes bore into mine and a permanent scowl had etched unto his features. The only time he smiled was at the mention of my Mum and Dad. He knew who they were.

The class president commanded for everyone to stand up and greet. No one sat down even after that.

"Hanniel," Hassan looked back and whispered my name, "bruh, where's your blazer?"

And then I looked around in panic. My blazer was resting on my seat. I picked it up and began to wear it hastily.

Principal Matthews' eyes landed on me and I quivered for a second under his gaze. He finally looked away and with a hand raised up, we all sat down.

"Good morning class. I am here to give you some information and as I announce this, do well to still remain coordinated. Do not make any noise."

He continued, "our annual inter school sports will not be hosted in Crestview High this year. Instead, it will be hosted in Abuja."

"What's this one?" Ameenah muttered beside me.

"Although, we're not yet sure about the inter school sports being hosted in the conference, in consideration of other classes. But do know that this is the first time we will be doing such but that is only because you'll be accompanying SS3/Grade 12 to the Jacqueline Hennessey Conference..."

"Oh. My. God." Dabirah gasped. She turned back and her eyes shone with happiness and excitement. "Ameenah, I can't believe it!" She whisper-yelled.

"Better don't let Principal Matthew catch you," Ameenah chuckled and waved her off.

"Make sure to inform your parents of this trip and Mr Jarah will also be collecting your parents numbers once again for final confirmation. That is all I have to say. And as I am going, Tiamiyu, Jean, CK, Josh and Timothy, five of you, to my office."

As soon as Principal Matthews left with the five guys following behind him, Dabirah turned her chair to face us. I recognized three of them as the boys whom had come to invite me to a party some time ago. "I knew it!" She exclaimed. "I told you, it will not pass dem 'Miyu and Jean."

"How can they be dealing drugs?" Ameenah scoffed. "The punishment is very severe, don't they know? Expulsion."

"I don't believe," Hassan interjected. "Those guys may be as razz as Senior Adolphus and his gang but drugs are too extreme abeg."

By the corner of my eyes, the flipping of a novel caught my attention and I tried my best not to look at Komisola.

"Believe what you want to believe." Dabirah hissed. My ears ached again at that annoying sound. "By the way," she turned to Ameenah, "I heard Amyra Mirza Abdelnour will be featuring on The Vogue magazine and Áurea Magazine."

"Is that the Muslim model in SS 3?" I asked. "Hassan's crush?"

"Yep," Ameenah nodded. "Queen Bee will be having an interview on The Hennessey Show with Jacqueline Hennessey too. I swear they're lucky." She sighed to herself, shaking her head. "She gets to see Jacqueline Hennessey before the school trip."

"At least I'll get to see Eno Arthur there. Who knows? Jacqueline might even make an appearance."

Komisola stood up, quietly and left the class with her novel in her hand. It was another one. Different from the one she usually held about.

She hardly said any words but held a book everywhere she went to. She was close to the door and I watched her raise her hands to pull up her hoodie and for a second, I thought I was imagining things.

I could see it. Or rather them.

When the sleeves of her hoodie drew back, the skin below her wrists was exposed and I saw something that looked like marks. Scars.

Like it was resulted from continuous lashing.

It was glaring obvious, it stained the beauty of her chocolate colored skin and stood out whilst being ugly.

Why were there marks like that on her body?

~
on a totally unrelated note, Yet To Come official mv was just released and it was so emotional🥺❤️ I feel like I'm on a ride of suspense, anticipation of the unknown, yet to come and it's driving me over the edge.
I still remain an ARMY.😮‍💨❤️