cheers to the thirtieth chapter, mates! dedicated to Debbyjuice for recommending songs :)

030| Today Was June 1

~K O M I S O L A~

I was dressed in a short skirt, a white shirt and an argyle plaid sweater with long sleeves. My hair was braided into medium sized corn rows.

Dinner was lively again. Vibrant for Mother, Father and Davies but me...?

It was dry and boring.

Occasionally, Davies would send me glances while he smiled at Father and Mother, answering their many questions. Countless times, Mum had begged me with her eyes to lighten up but Davies was no stranger.

He was my brother and he was the one who made me this way.

I had no appetite. The plate of jollof rice, garnished with fried plantain and turkey tasted like sand in my mouth.

Father on the other hand, ate his rice bare of any meat. He was a vegetarian. A lacto-ovo-vegetarian to be precise.

I forced myself to eat, reluctantly accepting every forked spoonful/forkful that I raised to my mouth.

My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing. My head felt heavy, really heavy. And it felt like there was this huge load or burden that I was carrying. It felt so painful that it was almost physical.

The pain tugged at my heart too.

I knew it wouldn't take a matter of time before they noticed me and forced me to talk. Everything was fine when he was gone.

When Davies was gone.

My definition of fine was Father's insults and abuses, physically and verbally, the way I was treated outside and in my home.

It seemed like things were about to change. And it wasn't for the better, it was for worst.

"Queen," Father's authoritative voice washed over my spines and sent chills through them. I looked up at him and dropped my cutlery. Davies' eyes were focused on me, trained with so much intensity. "Your brother has been here since. Do you want to act like you are deaf, mute or blind? For all I know, I gave birth to a completely able child."

"Dad," Davies inserted, "she's the last born of the family. Take it easy on her. How've you been, Komi?"

I swallowed.

I swallowed all my anxiety, hatred, fear. All negative emotions that surged through me, I swallowed them. All I really wanted to do was stand up and run away from reality. Or better still, disappear into nothingness.

But life had a different ways of doing things, with a harsh tinge of the word reality.

"Komi? I'm talking to you,"

My brother's nauseous, deep voice said, his hand even daring to reach forward and place his over mine. I felt my chest constrict and my lungs cease of air. This felt too familiar. The process of having a panic attack.

You know what, to hell with everything.

"And you're sure this girl isn't going deaf like this?" Father asked with sarcasm, directing the question to Mother who in turn chided him.

"Adebayo," she frowned.

"I guess she must be shocked to see me." Davies sighed and I glanced up at him to see a faint smile lingering on his mouth.

I cringed. Yes, I was shocked. Telling me the news of my brother's expectant arrival didn't help me to prepare for his appearance, it only made matters worse. I felt like I had gone a higher level of panic attacks.

A maid came to pack Davies' dish and cutlery. I pushed my food aside a bit, by the time my insides began twisting.

"I'm going upstairs. By the way, Komi, I brought a gift for you. I already gave Mum and Dad their own. Come to my room by 7 o'clock."

In my head, I blacked out, fainted, died, resurrected and went through the same process all over again.

Instead of protesting, I nodded and when I looked up to finally study my brother, I decided right there that I wasn't going to agree to his terms and conditions.

Father wiped his mouth and stood up, "Honey, let's go upstairs. I need to leave early."

Leave early?

He was probably going for a trip or convention or something. All those religious acts when your insides were dirtier than mud.

"Queen, Matthias, I'll be leaving for a convention and I won't be back till next month because I have a meeting in SA. So you two should be on your best behavior. Your mother will also be travelling tomorrow."

I mentally calculated today's date.

Today was June 1.

And Father wouldn't be back till July 1.

I'd have rejoiced if it weren't for the presence of my brother.

I pushed my dinner aside and stood up, seeing that I was the only one left at the table.

Before 7 o'clock, I took the phone gifted to me by Mother and I plugged it in, and watched the Samsung trademark appear in white on the black screen. Maybe one day, it'll come in handy.

And after charging it to its full battery, I slept off and faintly felt something drop beside me on my bed.

next day

I ran out of the house yesterday, literally ran as far as I could. I had no particular destination but I kept running.

For a soft place to fall.

I didn't find one.

As late as 12 a.m, I quietly entered the house, assuring my self that Davies had probably gone to sleep. But when I passed by his room, the door was wide open and he was facing the window, sniffing drugs.

Things were definitely worst than before.

And now as early as 6 a.m, I found myself in school, pushing the classroom door open only to find a sleeping Hanniel.

Hanniel.

I can't believe he was my friend for a day. Well, hours and then I blew it up. He didn't realize what he was causing for himself. Hanniel was a positive person, someone that was literally always happy.

In two weeks, he'd manage to gain the love of everyone and he was the most popular Grade 11/ SS2 student.

I was just Komisola.

We were two worlds apart. I knew it. It was obvious. Too obvious that I was a stain to his white.

Knowing me came with many negative effects. I'd been called a jinx and curse by family and non-related people that I actually started to believe it.

Maybe they were right.

Seeing Hanniel fight for me too many times confused me. It made me feel too many emotions, especially anger. Hanniel was the new transfer student that the whole of CH was obsessed with—especially female juniors and seniors— and I was the girl who got bullied everywhere.

He had a mother who stared at him like he was her best decision while my parents weren't sure of how to dispose me yet.

I didn't realize when a tear seeped out of my eye and I hastily wiped it away. I hated crying. But I had been doing that or nothing these past days. I couldn't control it no matter how hard I tried to. I'd gone too deep in my thoughts to even realize I was already crying. And that was what was happening right now.

Another tear dropped. Kept dropping and I had spaced out, staring at the window while the rain dropped in splatters for a moment.

I didn't know when Hanniel pulled me into his chest and patted my head, whispering words of comfort to him.

For the first time, I was happy to be comforted. I wasn't panicking. I was being comforted by that same boy from a different world.

~c h a p t e r ~ b r e a k~

The car stopped and Komisola was brought back to reality. They were at school already and she felt relieved for the first time. The time read a few minutes to six o'clock in the morning and the weather was heavily dark. It rained heavily too.

She stepped out of the car with no umbrella or cover to shield her from the rain. The driver noticed and ran after her with his umbrella.

"Ma'am, take!" He brought the umbrella forward. Komisola shook her head in response.

"Take it away, I'll be fine." She replied coldly.

"But you'll catch a cold!" The driver argued but all words fell on deaf ears. Komisola was already in the rain, walking like she owned it and like she was the most comfortable in the rain.

From one of the windows on the upper floors, unknown to her, he watched her as she walked in the rain till she entered the building. How could someone be so comfortable under the rain? Not in form of gentle drops but in form of thunderstorms, dark clouds and heavy droplets.

He knew she was escaping from something. Just like he had escaped from his father and mother this morning. He returned to his seat and tried to sleep.

Desperately, his mind seeked for a cup of coffee because all he wanted to do was stay awake.

And then he looked up for a second, to see if she was in the class so he could ignore her. Petty, but he didn't care.

Then, he found her crying and couldn't help it. He shot up from his seat and pulled her to his chest selfishly, not caring about her phobia.

He liked her. He really did. Even when he tried to ignore his feelings for her, pushing them away because they were two worlds apart, parallel universes, the feelings he had were not something he could get rid of.

~
a/n: it was actually June 1 when I wrote this chapter.❤️ made a memory for myself since June is always a blur in my mind with no events.