045| An Unexpected Change

~K O M I S O L A~

The intoxicating stench of cigarettes filled my nostrils and made my face scrunch up in disgust. I quickened my steps, yet in a silent and cautious manner. I didn't want Davies to see me.

I didn't want to look at his face, talk less of engaging in a conversation with him.

"Komisola."

Fuck.

I froze in my steps, sighing involuntarily as my shoulders slumped.

"Komisola..." his voice called again. "Do I have to stand up and drag you from there? Don't make me repeat myself again."

Suddenly, I riled up in anger. Who did he think he was talking to me like that? He wasn't my elder brother. He'd lost that right a long time ago.

"What do you want from me, Davies?" I stomped to his room, snapping at him, but making sure not to take a step into his room.

"Watch your fucking tone with me, girl. I am still your elder brother."

Just like that, I exploded. Anger sparked in my stomach and had stirred so hard, coursing through my whole body. My eyes had widened in disbelief and my mouth was parted in shock. "Damn you for saying that, Davies Adedire! You bastard! Elder brother? You didn't know when you were touching me? You didn't know when you were groping me? Sexually harassing me like I was just a plaything to you and not your blood sister-"

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME! GOD, ARE YOU DEAF?!" Davies thundered, jumping to his feet from the bed instantly. His voice boomed across the room and when he stared right back at me, I was scared by the look in his eyes.

Davies looked like he was insane.

No, I wasn't insulting him. Davies actually looked like he would lose his shit any moment from now. Bloodshot eyes glazing in fury, a broken, pathetic look on his face that contorted with rage. He looked miserable.

Like he was weak and angry. Like he was exhausted.

But he didn't have any right to that.

"You've never acted like I wanted you to! You've never done what I wanted you to do! You've always been so stubborn, so difficult..." his voice faltered at the last part.

I scoffed. I scoffed so loudly, it almost sounded like laughter. "Look at you... I feel so disgusted by you. I have always been so stubborn, that's why you scarred me for the rest of life. Tell me which girl would be happy knowing that she had to live with the truth that her brother has done things to her! Tell me which girl would be happy that no one believed her when she spoke up! You were happily living, while I was on the receiving end of every maltreatment! Father would beat me, slap me, insult me, and it was no better at school! You were busying enjoying abroad! Bastard!"

Davies didn't say anything.

I saw him shake his head, then cough profusely. I didn't feel a tad bit concerned for him right now. If anything, I was so repulsed by the sight of him.

"I have cancer, Komisola."

He said after a while. I was a fuming mess at his front, fists balled into a curl by my sides, but he didn't even seem affected at all. Instead, he chose to break a shocking news to me in the middle of this heated exchange.

My fists unfolded, dropping by my sides and I stared at him wordlessly. Davies pointed to his throat and the corner of his lips curved in a small smile.

"It could have been curable, but I didn't detect it early and now it's spread to my lymph nodes. Stage 4, and I don't think I'll survive it."

Suddenly, I scoffed. I scoffed even as my eyes welled up with tears. I scoffed because I felt so angry at my brother but at the same time...

I wasn't expecting this.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I questioned. "Why on earth, Davies, are you telling me all of this shit?! How the fuck do you want me to react?! After everything you've done and said, you're walking up to me with some bullshit on how have you cancer! You have cancer and you are smoking! You are smoking! Now that you are telling me this bullshit guy, am I supposed to hug you or comfort you or what?"

At this point, I might have looked like an insane person, like a mentally ill patient. I was shouting at the top of my lungs, glaring fire at Davies and breathing heavily.

It was hard to catch my breath.

"When I was given birth to in this family, I was treated with so much love. Mum had told me that her marriage with Father was slowly falling apart at the time, because Mum couldn't give birth. But when she conceived me, it was like a miracle, and their marriage was restored because of me..."

"It seemed like they had bonded because of me. Mum was quite the busy person, even more than Father, and at the time, Mum's close friend always came to visit."

I wondered what all this story was for. It took so much control not to shut David up right now, but I wanted to listen. I wanted to know where he was leading the story to and why he was telling me.

"Anytime Mum went out, her friend would instantly appear, every time. And it didn't take me a while before I realized that her and Father were having an affair. I would always stay up in my room because Father would shout at me when he saw me outside and I was also too scared to see them together. One day, the friend saw me in the kitchen..."

"She had just come and Father wasn't downstairs yet. She walked up to me and I was so scared. She was pretty, but not as pretty as Mum. When she touched me on my face, stroking my cheek, I knew something was wrong. Then she kissed me on my forehead."

"That was when the sexual assault started, Komi. Everything I've done to you-"

Cough.

"-was everything she did to me. But she wasn't the problem. I was. I hated myself for enjoying every thing she did, until she stopped. And each time she stopped, I would drown in guilt and cry myself to shame. I felt so dirty and disgusted. One day, I begged her to stop, she didn't respond, until I showed her a video I had recorded of her and Dad and threatened to send it to Mum, I don't even know what I was thinking doing that, guy."

Davies laughed.

"She said I couldn't do shit and I remember tearing her skin with a knife by mistake. She called me crazy and legit ran out of the house. She never came back. When she left, sometimes I'd find myself seeking for pleasure. I wanted to feel what she made me feel during those times, even if I'd feel guilty after doing it. That's when you came in. I swear, you had so much uncanny resemblance to her, I almost thought you were her child."

"Then I told myself I had a problem. I knew I had a problem. I tried talking to Mum and Father about it, but they would always dismiss me and I was also too scared to go further. Father didn't have my time and Mum was giving all of her attention to you, I was so jealous and angry, I hated you. One day, Mum asked me to dress you..."

"Stop..." I croaked out. "Davies, please, just stop. Stop!"

I knew now where exactly he was heading to with all of this.

"I felt a strange feeling, Komi. It made me angry and pleased at the same time. It was my way of taking revenge at you because no one paid attention to me because of you and also because I felt so angry at Mum's friend. It became a mental issue after that, Komi-"

"SHUT UP."

"Anytime I did it, I'd cry in regret and harm myself. I'd cut myself with a blade, or hit my head on the wall severally. But after doing that, whenever I saw you, it was like all of the regret I felt disappeared, and I wanted you again. It was an insufferable cycle, Komi. Endless."

My shoulders shook uncontrollably, eyes soaked with tears as I stared at my brother, lost for words to say. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to feel either.

~H A N N I E L~

Komisola was slowly returning back into her shell.

She was acting just like the Grey eyes I met in this school. She had given me a little bit closure, but right now, she was doing so well in ignoring my existence.

I tore a sheet of paper from my jotter and scribbled at the edge of the bottom-right:

Leisure room, can we talk?

I folded it neatly and slid it unto her desk. She spared a glance at me before looking away and rolling her eyes, dropping a sigh that sounded like she was annoyed. I watched silently as she unfolded the paper and read what I wrote in it before folding it back.

"I actually don't understand this Maths question, could you help me solve it, Hanniel?"

I looked up, surprised to see Yusrah at my front. She batted her eye lashes at me and there was a small pout on her lips. What was she doing here?

"Uh..." I started but Komisola stood up beside me and walked out of the classroom. I shot up from my seat and followed after her. "Can we like do this later? I'll be back."

We'd gotten to the Leisure Room and I closed the door after Grey eyes. Her arms were folded, and she was staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something before she walked out on me.

I just knew she was waiting to do that.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Do I look like I'm not okay?" Komisola retorted. "Bro, I don't have time for any of your bullshit today, please leave me the fuck alone."

Well... isn't that harsh?

"You never have time for my bullshit, what makes today different?" I said, smiling solemnly at her.

"You're right." Grey eyes nodded. "But you don't have to be unbearable today. Please, don't interfere in my business at all. Leave me from now henceforth, Hanniel. I have so much to deal with and you don't need to add to my problems--"

I interrupted, "I don't want to add to your problems. I just want you to share your problems with me."

"So you'll do what?!" Komisola shouted. "Comfort me or speak about the gospel?! Because that's all you ever seem to do and I really don't want any of that bullshit! Hanniel, I don't!"

Even amidst her shouting, it wasn't hard to notice Komisola was saying a lot. A lot than her usual scanty sentences.

"I just want you to steer clear of my path, Hanniel. I don't want you anywhere near me because you're not even relevant to me and I don't want another burden in my life! I already have enough, for fuck's sake!"

Another burden?

Not even relevant?

My heart clenched, tightening and constricting in pain as her words slashed through them like a knife. A knife coated with nothing but hurt and spite. I had no idea if something was wrong with her, she had always been like this but this... this was too much.

I chose to ignore her hurtful words which seemed like she was intentionally saying them to push me away.

To get rid of me.

"I--"

"BACK OFF!" Komisola screamed. Her eyes were blazing with rage and she was breathing so tediously. "HANNIEL ALONGE, BACK OFF! Are you dumb?! I don't want to be your friend, Hanniel. I am too scarred to be your friend. I have so many problems, I don't need another one in my life!"

What Grey eyes didn't know was how infatuated I had become with her. There's this feeling when you really liked and admired someone, you would always want to be a part of their life, even through every change or problem, you'd want to be there with them... for them.

Komisola had no idea that was how I felt about her.

"I like you... so much to leave you alone, Komisola," I finally confessed. "I like you so much, so badly that I want to be the one who comforts you when you're sad, when you're in pain or anything. And all of these hurtful words, I know you don't mean them, and you don't have to. You can lash at me. You can. But I won't leave you. I'll never leave you. You're my friend, and I like you so much."

Grey eyes looked shocked. The expression of anger on her face had morphed into that of shock as she stared at me.

"Why don't you ever leave, Hanniel?" she whimpered.

Grey eyes sounded so fragile, so cold and broken. She sounded like she was so exhausted from going through so much pain.

I understood.

"Every time I push you away, I expect you to leave because that's what everyone does. My best friend left me, my parents left me, every one left me. Why do you still stay?"

"I like you."

I dared to take a step closer.

Maybe this is it.

"And I mean it in that way. And do you know what happens when a person likes someone? He'd always want to be there for her, just like how I want to be there for you. I don't expect you to like me back, and I don't mind being just a friend, as long as you don't push me away."

Silence reigned after my confession. I was starting to regret everything each passing second. Did I say too much? Was this the wrong time? Definitely the wrong time--

My thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind when the sound of Komisola crying filled my ears.

"I am so sorry, Hanniel. I'm sorry for taking out my anger at you when you did nothing wrong. That's my only way of coping. I'm so sorry."

Never would I have thought I'd live to see this day when Komisola would apologize for acting cold towards me. If someone had told me this day would come, I'd have laughed so bad.

And then I wrapped my arms around her slender figure, resting my chin on her head. "It's okay. It's okay not to be okay."

It was okay not to be okay.

a/n: HAPPY NEW YEARRRR. (idk if I already wished y'all but either ways...)

heiii... this chapter- I was so shocked while writing😭 it's packed, tbh, we have to admit. And after reading my chapters, I realize I may have taken things too slow.😭 But we're also slowly coming to an end of this book- did you see what I did there- and lemme dedicate this chapter to some people I've been seeing very recently on my notifs, y'all really made me happy and feel alive :)

:-

Reedah_Writes

FlourishChiburoma

OkulajaAdeolaAgbaje

thank you guys sm for the voting, y'all voted on almost all the chapters or even all :) Thank you so much!🔥💕

bye luvss <3